couple holding hands

Learning How to Talk More Openly About Sex and Sexuality

“Let’s talk about sex, baby…” In reality, talking about sex and sexuality goes far beyond catchy hip-hop lyrics, and is a lot more difficult too. Despite the stigma that society has largely imposed on these subjects, being able to speak openly about sex, sexual health, and sexual orientation is critical in countless relationships and situations. With your partner, you can improve your shared sexual experience by talking about what you like and want. With friends, you can strengthen relationships, build your confidence, and learn about new bedroom behaviors through talking about your sex lives. If you have older children, talking openly about subjects like sexual health, sexual orientation, and healthy relationships more generally, can help them to have healthy sexual experiences throughout life, especially where their school might portray negative attitudes towards these important, though taboo, subjects.

Talking to Your Partner

In a healthy relationship, you should be comfortable talking to your partner about just about anything, even topics that come with a stigma. Even then, many people struggle to talk about sex comfortably and openly, especially if you grew up in a home where topics like sexual behavior or sexual orientation were particularly taboo. Whether you’re questioning your sexual identity, can’t stop daydreaming about a particular fantasy, or want to try an enhancement like VigRX plus, simply talking to your partner about wanting to discuss your sexual activity more openly, can create a gateway to a stronger relationship and better sexual performance. Meanwhile, remember: hesitancy to talk about sexual feelings and desires isn’t a personal shortcoming⁠—it’s all too normal a behavior, and one that you can overcome with a bit of work on your thought processes.

Talking to Your Friends

Friends laughing

Whether you’re chatting about the latest hookups over brunch a la Sex and the City, or you’re having deeper conversations about sexual problems or sexual identity, talking to your friends about sex comes with a host of benefits. Not only can you learn about sexual behavior in a safe, comfortable space⁠, while strengthening the bonds between you and your companions, you can also build a better understanding of issues like internalized homophobia or risky sexual behaviors. Gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and other members of the LGBTQ community are exposed to homophobia and stereotypes so frequently that they, consciously or unconsciously, start to believe them as well. From denying their own sexual desires or hiding their sexual orientation, LGBTQ people contending with internalized homophobia are more likely to enter unhealthy relationships or engage in dangerous behaviors like substance abuse. By confiding in trusted friends, you can contend with your own feelings and desires to build a more confident, healthy sexual identity. Building this intimacy with your friends makes for safer, stronger relationships, and fewer feelings of rejection, loneliness, and internalized negative stereotypes.

Talking to Your Kids

Mom and Daughter

Many teenagers and children won’t encounter a comprehensive sex education course as they go through school. The responsibility, therefore, ultimately falls to the parent, no matter how awkward the conversations might seem. Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to explain anal sex or the use of male enhancement pills to your toddler. As long as you approach the subject openly and debunk dangerous stereotypes to promote healthy sexual relationships, you can customize these conversations to complement the relationship you have with your child. If you’re devout Christians, a book like Real Sex might be a good addition, tackling subjects like chastity as well as those with more of a sexual stigma, like pornography and masturbation. Teach your children what a healthy sex life looks like, explain the basics of sexual health, and normalize the wide range of sexual identities. Let them know that they can come to you with questions or concerns. Minimize a negative association in your home to help promote both a better relationship with your child as they grow⁠, and a lifetime of confidence and health amidst human sexuality.

When it comes to talking about sex, you might hesitate to talk to your partner, much less your friends or family. But talking openly about sexual behavior, attraction, and even stigma can build healthy relationships of all kinds. From combatting internalized stereotypes like homophobia to promoting safe sexual activity. talking to your peers, young people, and others in your life about sex and sexuality brings with it a host of benefits. So listen to some Salt-n-Pepa, order a Carrie Bradshaw-worthy cosmopolitan, and start talking about sex⁠! With each conversation, it will get easier, even as topics dive further beyond the social stigma.