Dirty talk can feel like a foreign language. Some people would rather be forced to master trigonometry rather than practice saying, “Ooh yeah baby, I want to fuck you” to themselves in the mirror. But, dirty talk is not rocket science. It’s something that lives within all of us, and it’s something that can really enhance our relationships

I’ve decided to create this guide to dirty talk. I hope it’ll give you the confidence to release your sexy inner voice!

How to begin

Dirty talk is a grown-up game of imagination. So, when you initiate the dirty talk, make sure to set up the scene. In other words, rather than saying, “I’m horny. What would you do to me?” you could start by describing what you are feeling in your body in visual terms. For example, you might say, “I’m rock hard right now thinking about your sexy legs, what would you do if they were wrapped around me?” This more specific visual description allows your recipient to get their creative juices flowing (along with some other juices) and sets up a great flow from the start. The simpler version puts the recipient on the spot, which can lead to a feeling of awkwardness.

Use all of your senses

People sometimes feel limited in the vocabulary that dirty talk offers; however, in actuality, all the words and ideas that you have without dirty talk are still at play. To expand your mind to these options, think about the 5 senses (touch, smell, sound, taste, sight) and get creative! I’ve put together some samples to get you started:

Touch: “My nipples are so hard thinking about your wet mouth sucking them”

Smell: “I wish I could smell your juices”

Sound: “I love the sound you make when you moan my name”

Taste: “I’m craving the taste of your ______ in my mouth”

Sight: “I want to see you spread your legs and touch yourself”

Ready to practice dirty talk? Calling a phone sex number is the perfect way to test your skills. Try one of my favorites:

If you’re not ready, keep reading.

Be descriptive

What’s the most sexual organ in the human body? The brain! Yes, the brain controls your sexual urges (not your peen, vageen, or anything in-between). The more descriptive you get in your dirty talk, the more the brain has to play with. The magic of dirty talk is in the details. So, rather than saying, “I want you,” say something like, “I’m getting my wetness all over my sheets picturing your soft fingers stroking me.” Describe the moment, the feelings, and the visuals that her/his/their body parts conjure up for you.

Allow for a gradual incline

Just like actual sex, a bit of foreplay is required for the best results. You can still remain descriptive while starting off small. For example, you can describe how sexy you think your partner is and gradually get to “I want you to gag me and slap me across the face while you fuck me” (if that’s what you are into). You can see how going right for the throat (pun intended) could feel a little rushed without some lighter overtones to start with.

Make natural groans and noises

If you are touching yourself or being touched, allow the natural moans to escape. Not only are moans a huge turn-on, but they also help you and your partner visualize the sexual experience. They add some realness and enhance the fantasy.

Let out your wild side

Dirty talk is one of the safest sexual spaces because it doesn’t require any physicality. Sometimes, it’s nice to use dirty talk when you are getting physical, but it can also be all fantasy! It’s a game of grown-up imagination, remember? So, don’t be afraid to take it to the next level and articulate fantasies you’ve otherwise never dreamed of saying out loud! You can test the limits of your partner. If they get offended, back off and try a different avenue.

Armed with this guide full of tips and examples, you should feel ready to get to some dirty talk. I’ll leave you and your freaky-side to it!