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By Dom Betchignon on

First off, I know you may be tempted to put on a fedora but please resist. Personally I think the Fedora should have died with Sinatra but I will admit the occasional resurrection of them at a summer pool party can look okay. But don’t forget the cardinal rule is one fedora per crew and if there are others around you also rocking a fedora on the 4th it will go from chic to a poser convention instantly. If any of you also naively think you will just be wearing a bikini for the fourth because you’re going to a beach or pool party we will now enter a sad moment of silence for you. A Fourth of July outfit is so much more than that.

Our Recommendations

Little White Dress:

A little white dress is a classic YES for the fourth of July. It shows you are a classy betch and allows you to get away with being much drunker at the party without looking as ratchet as those in jean shorts. This is perfect for any occasion, pool party, beach house soirée, or an afternoon bbq.

Reminder: do not pair your perfect little white dress with any kind of pump. Wearing a red pump that you think ties into the 4th of July spirit screams that you are trying too hard. For the fourth you have to stick to a good wedge or a nude sandal.

Crop Top and Shorts:

When pairing a crop top with shorts on the fourth there is a very thin line between effortlessly cute and basic. Make sure the highwaisted shorts you are pairing said crop top with first of all do not show your butt cheeks. It’s time to honor your independence ladies not your cellulite. Also, if you are going to wear something with the flag on it please choose just one location, either the top or the bottom. I know it may seem like Sophie’s choice but there is a difference between tasteful patriotism and looking like our flag threw up on you

Please see some of the well-done examples by betches below for inspiration:

Similar shorts from The Laundry Room

Similar lace top from Revolve Clothing and shorts by One Teaspoon

Get a Simlar Tank from Nasty Gal

No’s As Told By Ghosts of Bad Outfits Past:

6 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. white top says:

    where is that white top from on the second pic?!

    Posted on Reply
  2. Jewish betch says:

    The Sophie’s choice reference is super offensive and demeaning. Holocaust jokes are never okay, not even on a parody website

    Posted on Reply
    • yes! says:

      thank you!!

      Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      the entire website is “supper offensive and demeaning.” lighten the fuck up

      Posted on Reply
  3. BUT says:

    Workaholics references are ALWAYS okay

    Posted on Reply
  4. Buffykins says:

    This is good. This wildfox sweater is also good but for the love of god don’t wear it with obnoxiously dumb whites and blues a la Paris as seen above. They also have something called American Glitter shorts that will be terrifying on everyone who can’t pull them off. I literally don’t work for wildfox and don’t really care what you want to wear on the 4th or any other day but I’ll probably be seeing some dumb shit and I’d rather not have to look totally unamused in public. http://www.shopstyle.com/p/wildfox-couture-white-label-seeing-stars-lennon-sweater-in-red-as-seen-on-ashley-tisdale-selena-gomez-taylor-swift-and-more/268690247?cat=2&fl=b15503&min=13

    Posted on Reply