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By The Betches on

Everyone knows betches would rather stay the fuck home than take public transportation. And since our parents say it's rude to make our drivers pick us up at 4 in the morning and unfortunately there's nowhere for our helicopter to land in the West Village, there's only one way to get around in an emergency and that is Uber. 

The reasons why we love Uber should be obvious. It's on-demand, unnecessarily expensive, and most importantly not mustard fucking yellow. Literally their cars come so fast you'd think they were 9th grade boys. If an Uber and an ambulance were in a race I'm pretty sure the Uber could stop at red lights and still win. Being #108 late is okay for me but not for whoever's transporting me, fucking duh. Speaking of the drivers, the way there is always one within 100 feet of me is more magical than Dumbledore. It doesn't hurt that they don't give a fuck what you do in the back seat, nor are 75 percent of them named Mohammad. 

The best part of all might be that taking an Uber is the absolute minimum work you can do to get from one place to another. You don't have to wait outside for them, and you don't have to ruin your heels walking more than ten feet door to door. You don't even need to waste your energy on raising your skinny arm to hail a cab or taking your credit card out to pay. Our studies show that 99% of credit cards lost in cabs are lost at that moment, so congratulations on being responsible.

FInally, there's no greater way to show the cab-taking povos that you're better than them. There's practically an unspoken insta contest for who can screenshot the highest rate on Uber. See, I'm posting this pic from inside my Uber, can you believe the base fare was only $175 and 8.75x the normal price!? Obviously "uber" is just a #21 abbrev for uber-rich.

I accept!

14 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. true says:

    most accurate post thank you betches

    Posted on Reply
  2. CBetch says:

    omg! thank you for doing this post. sat night, to get to brooklyn from lower manhattan, $179.00 bill. moral of the story…..this is (one of the reasons) why I dont go to brooklyn.

    Posted on Reply
  3. vivalabetch says:

    i literally don’t know what i did before uber…

    Posted on Reply
  4. Camille Smith says:

    Anyone from southern california?? LA, santa barbara, etc.

    use the promo code SB10 and get $25 off your first ride wink free ride!

    Posted on Reply
    • C Pie says:

      Thanks, Betch.

      Posted on Reply
  5. MNbetch says:

    Without Uber we would be sitting in smelly old cars that have gross people germs allover it. Uber is the ultimate betch transportation. Vivalabetch couldnt have said it better; I dont know what we were doing before this!!!

    Posted on Reply
  6. chicagouber says:

    I don’t know what was my worst NYE14 decision, snorting coke with rando pros we met in the lobby of the trump tower or taking an uber ride with 5.5 x surge pricing..

    Posted on Reply
    • DDCbetch says:

      You’re so kewl

      Posted on Reply
  7. UBER says:

    If you’re a noob and haven’t ridden yet you can get $20 off your first ride with the code ntwsk. Don’t even think baout taking an uber taxi though.

    Posted on Reply
  8. UBER says:

    If you’re a noob and haven’t ridden yet you can get $20 off your first ride with the code ntwsk. Don’t even think about taking an uber taxi though.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Benthany L says:

    You can score a 20 dollar credit for signing up with PROMO code: SVTR9. Ne Expiration!

    Posted on Reply
  10. MB says:

    First time riders use the promo code VAMFF until the end of april for 20 dollar credit!

    Posted on Reply
  11. Summer says:

    Use promo code SDlovesUber for $20 off your first ride!

    Posted on Reply
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