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By The Betches on

Season 2, episode 11: Watch What Happens Live When Tay Tay Goes Cray Cray

Wow, honestly in terms of pure entertainment value, we couldn't have picked a better situation than last night's episode. But before we get started with our hotly-anticipated Taylor bashing, we need to say one thing that's not a backhanded compliment wrapped up in sarcasm.

Besides the fact that another Ken got wifed up, one bearing no resemblance to the doll, our obsession with Lisa is bigger than ever. Not just because she killed it again with her Kim impersonation or because her interviews are stand-up comedy. Even as Taylor is behaving like a literal animal (See: the mouth), Lisa is the first one to acknowledge that the real problem is that Taylor is being abused, which is a legit serious issue, even to people like us who take nothing seriously.

 

taylorA crying pterodactyl

 

Sure betches love to make scenes but the one Taylor orchestrated was a real life depiction of what happens when you live a fake life. It was honestly the ugliest display of tears and botox since Bruce Jenner graced a Kardashian wedding. We thought the collagen was going to burst out of Tay's temples.

Then she revealed how she's sooo jealous of Lisa and wants to be her, while simultaneously threatening to tell her all the horrible things everyone thinks about herOmg that's what we usually do when we want to be friends with someone too...

But the hilariously confusing question of the night was obviously: Why was this plastic surgery exam happening through a fence?

 

Quote of the Night:

 

Taylor: The giggy is up.

Nah psycho, we say when the giggy's up, and it's def not now. The arm is no longer strong, if you know what I mean.

 

Lisa:

"Life in Beverly Hills is a game and I dare you to try to fuck with the powerhouse that is me and Gigsta" 15 points

 

+1: Ugh we'd love to come over for tea tomorrow dahling. Oh and PS. Your dessert party was so much better than Pam's. +5: That argument with Taylor was almost too easy. She's just intimidated by the way you look at her. If not that, then maybe it was your adorable little English sandwiches and pink centerpiece cookies that absolutely scared the shit out of her. You know, the calories. +5: For not being invited to Taylor's bullshit award. You obviously have better things to do, like arrange rosebuds in a fucking teacup or something, than go to an award celebrating Taylor as an empowered woman. Like, the only situation more oxymoronic than this would be Taylor in a commercial for an all-you-can-eat sushi buffet. +1: About the iPad background, it's like, the same fucking thing as backstalking your profile pic and tagged pics for hours at a time. We all do it. +3: "Nice to know she's been eating, even if it's only..diet pills"

 

kyleWhy is she doing this to me?!?!

 

 

Adrienne:

"I take out all of my aggression during kickboxing class dinner with Paul" 3 points

 

+1: The guy at the restaurant explained what was in that appetizer for 10 minutes meanwhile it takes 15 seconds to actually eat it. We don't know why you get a point for this, but who actually gives a shit? +2: Your face may be pulled a little too tight to chew crab.

 

Camille:

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, soooooo imma go make some now" 2 points

 

+2: Whoa Camille, you're getting so real on us. We'll never be able to watch Frasier the same :(

 

Kyle:

"I may not be the richest girl in Beverly Hills but if I had a nickel for each nightmare I had of Kim's new boyf..." 0 points

 

-1: We've thought this for a while and have tried to avoid saying it, but your "sexy" stare in the 'Kyle' opener before your scenes is super awkward, eek. +1: It's okay Ky, tell your hot husband the truth. "I started crying because...Ken is just so fucking hiddayyy"

 

Kim:

"I'm weird." -2 points

 

-1: Wait, Ken was in the house the whole time Kyle was crying about him outside? Why does he have a helper gardener named Beto? -1: "I'm gonna add some blonde to this painting." What? Are you Pablo fucking Picasso now? I guess that makes Ken the subject of your art...

 

ken"Ken"

 

 

Dana:

 "Blah bloody blah" -5 points

 

-5: "Taylor, you did the right thing by not inviting Lisa" - Listen Pam, Taylor's is not an ass you want to (or are physically able to) crawl up.

 

Taylor:

"This show has ruined my life" -8 points

 

-1 :"I'm so happy I was nominated" ... For what? -1: "I don't mind us all sitting on one couch" - We're surprised you were smart enough to figure out the other girls' betchy tactics. We also like to make sure there are no other seats left when we know the Dud is coming over. -1: When she goes "stop stirring the pot and stepping away from the fire." ...Do you mean the steam? -5: For being a psychopath BSCB. Compared to you, Lisa looked like she was sedated or accidentally switched her day-of-the-week pill box with Kim's.

Last week's recap>>

 

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32 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Really? says:

    You forgot Brandi…

    Posted on Reply
  2. Patty says:

    You were a little harsh on Taylor. Considering her situation, she was in no position (or proper state of mind) to act like a betch. She needs better friends, like Kyle, to be there for her. Lisa is a betch, and I love her for it, but she needs to know when it’s not appropriate to act like one, ie. when your ‘friend’ is being abused by her loser husband.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Patty says:

    You were a little harsh on Taylor. Considering her situation, she was in no position (or state of mind) to act like a betch. She needs more friends like Kyle to be there for her and to support her through this difficult time in her life. Lisa is a betch, and I fucking love her for it, but she needs to know when it isn’t appropriate to antagonize the fragile one.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    Bravo. Another amazingly hilar post. I mean taylor basically wrote this for you with the amount of mentally insane antics she performed last night.

    Posted on Reply
  5. L says:

    This shit is always so on point every week. Like was that real when Paul had Taylor open her mouth and grab her gaunt ass face through a fence while she was indirectly talking shit about his wife? Haha u just cannot make this shit up. Oh and Lisa—class act as always.

    Posted on Reply
  6. Brandi who? says:

    Again, I ask. Brandi who?...Obsolete bitch. Ew.

    Posted on Reply
  7. tall betch says:

    I think Camille deserved a few more points for her hilarious and uncomfortable “bitch probably needs to back the fuck up” faces while Taylor was going crazy on Lisa and begging everyone to join her shit-talking fest. Also, I love that she was the first one to cut the shit and tell Tay to her face that her relationship with her midget husband is one step away from an OJ Simpson trial

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    So did the show. They finally got the hint that nobody cares about her. Bravo,Bravo.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Yes says:

    Loving the mention of Kyle’s opener, i cringe every time!

    Posted on Reply
  10. short betch with an ass says:

    post is hilar as per usual, tay tay did go cray cray. i now realize why her and kim are fake betches to eachother because they are the same person,  delusional lunatics. so glad i came to this conclusion. god fucking bless.
    yours truly,
    short betch

    Posted on Reply
  11. Deven says:

    I LOVE this site!! Lolol DEF gonna tune in tonight!

    Thanks Lo-Rider! Lolol

    Posted on Reply
  12. Deven says:

    You guys are hilarious!! I will DEF be tuning in tonight for the replay.  Thanks!! Lolol S/O to Lo-Rider for making me aware of this awesome site!

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    you need to get the stick out of your butt, taylor sucks.

    Posted on Reply
  14. Kathryn says:

    Everything about this post is amazing. Lisa=GOD.

    Posted on Reply
  15. that painting! says:

    love the picasso painting. ken wishes he could be that attractive

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    Loved the impersonation of kim and Lisa’s ipad background!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahaaha

    Posted on Reply
  17. Biggest Betch says:

    For real. I’d rather die than watch Taylor squirm around on screen for even a quarter of a millisecond.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    Kyle’s opener.  Thank you for finally saying it.  So distracting and weird.

    Posted on Reply
  19. Patty says:

    I’m sure you wouldn’t think the same if your mom or sister were in the same position. Taylor needs help, not a bitch to make snide remarks to her. So, like I said. Fuck off.

    Posted on Reply
  20. betchamissme says:

    I agree that she needs help but being a malicious bitch in addition to needing help kind of makes her a worthy target for mocking

    Posted on Reply
  21. Judge me says:

    This is so accurate but taylor needed even more points deducted for throwing everyone under the bus at tea!

    Posted on Reply
  22. Caroline says:

    wait—- The arm is no longer strong, if you know what I mean.

    Is this a joke? or an arm reference i missed?

    Posted on Reply
  23. Caroline says:

    YOU GUYS TOTALLY MISSED THE FACT THAT KEN CAME TO “POP THE CHAMPAGNE” AND THEN LEFT. HE IS THE BOMB. Or was that what you all meant by ‘Ken got wifed up’ ...

    Lisa is amazing. Why has Kyle turned on her!!

    Posted on Reply
  24. betchamissme says:

    because she realized she’ll never be as cool

    Posted on Reply
  25. betchamissme says:

    taylor committed fucking social suicide last night. a world of no, no, no, no, no

    also, paul totally didn’t even give a shit about/register a single thing taylor said at the fence until they started talking about surgery

    Posted on Reply
  26. Anonymous says:

    In girl world, all the fighting needs to be done secret.

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    No they didn’t.

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    No they didn’t.

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    is a gold digging gay man. C’mon…he looked like he had a mystic in this episode.

    Posted on Reply
  30. ONeHotBetch says:

    Listen Pam, the only thing worse than being Taylor Armstrong is WANTING to be Taylor Armstrong. I guess it makes sense that the fat girl would defend the #dud though…

    Posted on Reply
  31. jaffa says:

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    Posted on Reply
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