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By The Betches on

Dear Engagement,

As nice of a gesture that you are, we are trying to fully grasp why you had to come so soon. You remind us of our periods, appearing out of nowhere and staining our underwear preconceived notions that Miley was normal.

Did you have ulterior motives Engagement? Were you conditional, perhaps due to the fact Milez put anal on the table?

miley cyrus engagement

We can forgive another person for getting engaged before us, but under the condition that you're not the ONLY new surprise in MC's life. We know we know, it's not your fault Liam has extremely speedy sperm, but if Miley has to give up Blackout Wednesdays and Wake and Bake Everydays to nurse World's Worst Party Foul, we will be genuinely disappointed.

 

What would God say? What would Miley's drug dealer say? What would Billy Ray say? Hee Haw?

Well now you know we have something to say, Engagement, and it's that if you fail to pressure Miley to exchange her measly 3.5 carats for 8 or higher, we expect to be invited to Wedding. Okay fine, signed copies of all four seasons of Hannah Montana will do.

In jealousy and confusion,

Betches

 

6 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    My dog has more carats on her collar than Miley’s ring does.

    Posted on Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    “but if Miley has to give up Blackout Wednesdays and Wake and Bake Everydays to nurse World’s Worst Party Foul, we will be genuinely disappointed.”

    hahaha THE WORLD’S WORST PARTY FOUL, so true.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Gin says:

    “signed copies of all four seasons of Hannah Montana will do.”
    Please tell me all the drugs have finally gone to my brain and I hallucinated that last part.  hannah montana? are you fucking kidding me? Best move Miles made was cutting disney loose.
    Stop watching shitty nice girl shows and step up your game, betches.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Tonic says:

    can’t you see it was a joke? duh fucking duh

    Posted on Reply
  5. Foster says:

    yeah, well put. fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
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