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By The Betches on

As a hot and likable betch with many friends and minions, you're bound to have a lot of #144 anxiety over your packed social life. You would never refer to yourself as a loner or one betch wolf pack, on the other hand you probably have too many besties and are maybe trying to get rid of a few, who can say.

You see, when most people attend a concert or festival they'll smoke in the parking lot with a friend or two and maybe down a few beers while listening to some chill music. Betches, on the other hand, will never do this because we're neither fat nor poor. Instead, we show up to these events rolling deep, as in we'll only ride in a with a big group of besties that are DTFR: down to fucking rage. Put simply, a betch showing up to a concert without rolling deep is like going to the bathroom at a club and not cutting the line, really fucking boughie.

 

rolling deep

 

But since betches are always #108 late, your besties probably won't arrive until later, let's say they usually take an hour to show up. And because these music festivals last all day, you and your crew will probably endure a few ups and downs. Like sometimes you're surrounded by your besties and hooking up with bros and trees to the most sensational and unreal sounds that could come out of a speaker, but then there are points when your crew has dwindled and only the UGH is around. Why do I know exactly whats going on right now? Why am I so sweaty? How many licks to the center of this lollipop? Why am I so sweaty?

Oh, and when you and your besties go out rolling deep, these occasions are the only ones in which your bottle service may refer to plastic, fucking duh. It's also nice to have a big group with you because when you're dancing and rubbing ice all over the face of the guy next to you, you'll probably want to know him.

Rolling deep is a maneuver that if done properly will guarantee you the best time of your life. The secret to achieving the perfect day is simple: don't lose your friends. Roll shallow and not only will the music suck, but you won't even have anyone to bitch about it to. So betches, roll deep with your besties. And if they all happen to be named Molly, the more the merrier.

 

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41 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    hahahahahhah omg I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

    Posted on Reply
  2. hmm says:

    was it a newb? no likey.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    i fucking love an innuendo

    Posted on Reply
  4. Gbetch says:

    Molly for fuckin Prez!!

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    The last line of this post was the only funny part….we don’t need to be told how to roll deep….you betches are getting annoying

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    lmfao this is the best. I love Molly, she’s better than Mary-Janeeee

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    Because you don’t get it. It’s one of their best yet

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    the last line of this post was only put there to clue in the slow people who didn’t get the meaning of the article. hilarious, betches!

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    Aw poor thing… You are really THAT clueless aren’t you?

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    can someone explain this post to me?

    Posted on Reply
  11. Umm says:

    No

    Posted on Reply
  12. Anonymous says:

    rolling face/balls/deep=molly= ecstasy

    Posted on Reply
  13. SP says:

    if she doesn’t know molly, she’s too young for you bro

    Posted on Reply
  14. MOLLY says:

    I’ve been outed…

    Posted on Reply
  15. Anonymous says:

    srsly i cannot believe you dont get it, it meaaaans: MDMA, fucking duh, ie. taking drugs and rolling face is fun betches!

    Posted on Reply
  16. Haha says:

    Does

    Does anyone wanna go shopping at belk with me?

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    This post had so much potential but ended up being a way shittier version of cutting lines. Guess the betches have gotten so used to not doing work they stopped proof reading interns posts. Please take this crap down, revise, and repost something that’s actually clever and amusing.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    this is the best thing i ever read

    Posted on Reply
  19. Veronica says:

    hahahahahahahaha yesssssss. “But since betches are always #108 late, your besties probably won’t arrive until later, let’s say they usually take an hour to show up.” Perfect

    Posted on Reply
  20. jimy says:

    this is the best that i read ever

    Posted on Reply
  21. Anonymous says:

    i get the feeling that the majority of the confused comments on here come from middle/high school girls…. and i actually feel kind of bad for introducing them to this stuff. i hope they can actually understand that this site is a joke

    Posted on Reply
  22. Molly says:

    Anyone who doesn’t get this probably think this is the lamest post on this site.
    Honestly though this is the best yet.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Mel says:

    this post actually has nothing to do with cutting lines (though there probably is some cocaine involved in any good roll)  or actually rolling deep with your friends.
    google Molly or MDMA.

    Posted on Reply
  24. Ari says:

    you totally misinterpreted the comment you’re replying to. Obviously this post is about MDMA, not cocaine. She meant the previous post about coke, #56 “cutting lines,” was very clever, creative and subtle. This post MDMA had the potential to be as clever and awesome, but it just wasn’t as good, like it’s just obvious and not well-written. Does that make sense to you?

    Posted on Reply
  25. Anonymous says:

    hahaha I love how molly hits you. “Betches I still don’t…Everything is beautifulllll!”

    Posted on Reply
  26. Anonymous says:

    Thank god at least one other betch out there understands what I’m talking about!

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    One of the best parts about being friends with molly is all the other fucking randos she knows who want to be your fucking friend.  PLUR

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    if you don’t understand this post, you’re probably too young. sorry not sorry

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    Drugs are not betchy.

    In high school it was acceptable for betches to experiment with most drugs from time to time

    ... but in college it’s a wholeeeee other story.

    Most of the time, people who do drugs are grimy and gross burnouts.
    (i guess coke is an exception….)

    drug-taking “betches” : pleaseeee go ahead and disagree with me on this one…I’m sure you’ll prove yourself right!

    Posted on Reply
  30. Anonymous says:

    except for maryjane, those who did drugs in high school were the ‘grimy and gross burnouts’.  and how the fuck is coke any exception?  you sound like the grimiest of them all.

    Posted on Reply
  31. it's brittany, betch says:

    i love how some people dont get this, best post yet. honestly so so clever, luvz it wink

    Posted on Reply
  32. I. says:

    lol are you serious? The people that did drugs in high school were sketchy as fuck. I know, I was friends with some.

    In college, doing drugs is a lot more subtle because you have a reputation to keep up and there’s bigger consequences. Even betches that can afford to flunk out of school don’t want it to get out that it was because of an drug abuse.

    And most of the time you don’t even realize someone is into shit until you’ve partied with them for awhile.

    If drugs aren’t for you, fine, suit yourself. But don’t be a fucking bitch to everyone else who wants to enjoy themselves.

    Posted on Reply
  33. Maria says:

    I think an innuendo generally has an ounce of subtlety, while this is about as unsubtle as it gets.  We get it… you’re talking about molly.

    Posted on Reply
  34. Anonymous says:

    First of all, I’d like to clear up the I have never tried coke. However, I have associated with people who have tried it, and some of them maybe be a little crazy…but they usually don’t classify as burnouts.

    Unless your and idiot, you should know that coke is an expensive drug. Most buyers of coke almost always come from rich educated parents. People that have tried coke tend to come from more educated backgrounds….in comparison to someone who has done shrooms. Have you ever heard someone refer to shrooms or acid as a “rich person drug”? Didn’t think so.

    Posted on Reply
    • LOLTHO says:

      “Unless your and idiot”
      That’s all.

      Posted on Reply
  35. Long Island Betch says:

    ..This seriously is so lame. Anyone who doesn’t get this is just clueless.  Betches really need to step up their writing abilities, you’ve been slacking lately.

    Posted on Reply
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