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By The Betches on

When this episode began and Emanda started whispering her little Shakespearean soliloquy about "revelations" my first thought was obviously THANK FUCK this shit isn't coming back until least I'll be a little tanner then. The only "revelations" I personally had were wonderment over why this ep looks like it was shot in Victorian times, why did they decide to reuse footage from Sweet Home Alabama for the opening scene, and what the fuck was the dress code at this shooting party, Jumanji chic?

The episode only continued to get more outrageous. A baptism for 300 people, these two creepy brothers trying to fuck with the Porters (who are obviously of no interest to us), and a black man in the Hamptons...must be trouble.

Call Outs

I love Daniel trying to play hardcore CEO private investigator. "I know you have like 500 billion million dollars invested in my company and you didn't think I would notice! Ha! I did! Good thing not that many people I know read your little 'W2 Forms.'"

The merger meeting with Nolan Daniel and Ashley is like comparable to Apple holding their keynotes on a playground. Trustees, meet us by the red monkeybars.

Who refers to their own home as "Grayson manor." Victoria G. That's who.

Vicky has plans to force Ash into her former gig in sex slavery. Is this some weird Code of Hammurabi shit? An eye for an eye, sex with one fugly man for sex with another fugly man.

Okay Jack your ex girlfriend is your baby's godmother. That's normal. You'd think Emanda would be able to feign happiness better than that shit she pulled over the baptismal bowl.

This priest is a little TOO happy

LOL Moments

Omg Daniel still has a blackberry! That's the funniest part of this episode! (I actually thought Daniel was going to pull out a gun but the blackberry is actually more fatal.)

Nolan: “Marco, what’d you come to collect the knife you left in my back?" ...he’d just like a little warning next time you shove something in from behind.

Jack to Nolan: "You're good at finding stuff out about people right? You like, have an iPhone right?"

Victoria: Sex with your son’s girlfriend! Really Conrad?!
Conrad: They were ON A BREAK!!

I like Conrad's fighting tactics. "Stop talking to me about the fact that I fucked our son's girlfriend. We have bigger issues. We need to deal with the lack of covers on the TPS reports."

So Dannyboy is the new CEO. And the countdown begins until Danny runs Grayson Global into the ground. Why invest a billion dollars when we can million dollars?

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16 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. emj says:

    “Jumanji Chic”

    Posted on Reply
  2. laur says:

    not your best revenge recap…..thought the exact same thing though with the outfit choices during the shooting party HAH too good

    Posted on Reply
  3. lolol says:

    great office space ref

    Posted on Reply
  4. ugh says:

    Are you kidding me with the part about the black guy? wtf.

    Posted on Reply
  5. ... says:

    These revenge recaps have gone down the drain

    Posted on Reply
  6. lol moment says:

    When Sudan kisses emanda on the cheek and Nolan points to his cheek for his.

    Posted on Reply
  7. lol moment says:

    Sudan means aidan lol

    Posted on Reply
  8. Red Sharpie says:

    No mention of how the sketch brothers stole Emandas Red Sharpie?!

    Posted on Reply
  9. dumb says:

    get the orig. betches back to do these recaps…i miss them

    Posted on Reply
  10. betch says:

    LOVE the Friends reference…They were ON A BREAK!!

    Posted on Reply
  11. wrong says:

    this recap was the best in weeks in addition to the office space ref there is also a friends ref LOOOOVE everything here

    Posted on Reply
  12. not your best says:

    betches.. what happened these used to be so good. I feel like whoever wrote this doesn’t even watch Revenge.

    Posted on Reply
    • duh. says:

      but the person who wrote this obvi watches friends.

      and that’s all that matters. duh.

      Posted on Reply
  13. Your Name says:

    this used to be sooo goood bring back the other betch this is a bigger piece of shit than daniel himself.

    Posted on Reply
  14. Your Name says:

    worst post yet…this is clearly not the original betches…come on step it up!

    Posted on Reply
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