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By The Betches on

I have zero respect for Revenge's shameless decision to milk the Emanda-Daniel relationship for two separate engagement episodes. The only thing that made round 2 worthwhile was Daniel's hilarious attempt to get their wedding into the Huffpo announcements. Like hello, you have paparazzi following your family, aim for the New York Times, ever heard of it? Oh wait, you don't actually reside in New York City except when it's convenient plot-wise for Victoria to fuck an urban painter or when they need a penthouse balcony off which to push Lydia Davis.

Anyway, why does Victoria suddenly hate Emanda again like WHAT THE FUCK did I miss? Then again, my awareness of this show is clearly low since when they said Ms. Stoddard I thought they were talking about Courtney.

Even this bitch doesn't give a shit what's going on.

 

CALL OUTS

Orphans from across the country are writing in claiming to be Victoria's son? Jesus she's not that famous. Also her daughter has publicly called her a horrible mother who emotionally abuses her. Sign us up!

Speaking of Charlotte, is "Charlie" now her new lesbionic nickname?

They don't arrest you for being drunk when you're under 21. They only arrest you if you're trying to use a fake ID. Any girl who's been to college knows that. Fucking duh.

Ashley's betchiest moment: "Jack, I'm working!" …takes shot.

Takeda's frequent travel from Japan to the Hamptons is equally absurd as Daniel's office commute from the Hamptons to the city, as in...totally casual on Revenge despite never happening in real life.

Why is Takeda so pissed off, like go drink some green tea or monogram your sword or something.

Conspiracy, love, betrayal...do these people ever just talk about the weather or like who was voted off American Idol?

She's already been to Paris, multiple times.

 

LOL MOMENTS

Charlotte's pregnant...like mother like daughter.

"Your father was Trevor Mathis, THE BAGGAGE HANDLER!"

Good thing Vic gave up that baby for art school. She's such an amazing artist now.

Emanda: Paris was Daniel's idea, Victoria.
Vic: Oh Emily, Daniel is too dumb to have ideas.

Okay Falcon, no one just casually speaks in riddle except like, mother goose.

The Takeda vs. Aidan duel was stolen directly from Kill Bill, like Quentin Tarantino should sue.

Oh no the Grayson's are bankrupt. Help them they're poor!

Yay a blackout! Hurricane Sandy? The plague of darkness? Glow party?

What's black and white and red all over..Emanda's first engagement.

12 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. unbetchy says:

    well this was a disappointment.

    Posted on Reply
    • Lizzy says:

      You can always tell whose facebookin because its 100% diff than the blog post she’s linking to! Idiots

      Posted on Reply
  2. PLL says:

    “no one speaks in riddles except mother goose”.... and Mona / A from PLL!!!!

    Posted on Reply
  3. Love it says:

    So spot on, betches.

    Posted on Reply
  4. SorryNotSorry says:

    i read this to try to understand whats going on in the show, and end up laughing out loud in my very serious history class.

    Vic: Oh Emily, Daniel is too dumb to have ideas.

    perf.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Your Name says:

    k…you can get arrested for being drunk if you under 21…it’s called public intox. fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
    • kelly says:

      yeah, but this is just as rare as a crocodile Birkin bag. fucking duh.

      Posted on Reply
  6. revenge says:

    Ok is it just me or was this episode slightly more bearable/understandable than the past few have been…

    Posted on Reply
  7. missnolan says:

    your comments are so funny and true!! Lol..Takeda drink some green tea!! Only believeable,sort of, or not, is Nolan. I wish Padma would come back from the dead and be a man! Remember when ABC was brave and actually had gay characters (brothers and sisters) ? LOVE NOLAN. only reason for watching the show.
    BTW..Do you review Mad Men or Bates Motel (my other favs)?
    Can’t wait to read your review of the finale next week!!
    thanks!!

    Posted on Reply
  8. Jenn says:

    hysterical of courseee and this sums it up perfectly.

    Posted on Reply
  9. blackoutBetch says:

    They really are getting out of hand with the whole hamptons to the city routine. The lights went out in the city and at the same time in the hamptons, like really writers really ? Because hey let’s just have a 90+ mile radius blackout. Also Wtf do the writers really give out a 3 thousand dollar bail for a minor for underage drinking? Bitch the most they do is take you home to ur parents if they see u drinking, not just because ur puking and also stupid bitch didn’t even drink cuz we know what her friend bought her was a pregnancy test.

    Posted on Reply
    • duh says:

      she puked because she’s pregnant dum dum

      Posted on Reply
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