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By The Betches on

When it comes to things like feminism and instagram, there are clear rules. We all know about the instawhore, and now it's time to talk about her favorite day of the week. No, it's not Saturday like normal people, it's fucking Thursday, when she gets to show the world what she doesn't get to every other day of the week: her glorious past. With that we give the instawhore inside all of you a guide to the perfect #tbt.
 

Baby and Childhood Pics

  

To execute the perfect toddler TBT, you should either be Anne-Geddes-baby adorable, be clothed in an ironically chic outfit like a lamp over your head, or showing everyone the time you had a bob. The more siblings, and the more embarassing for them, the better. Pigtails are always worthy of a like. Overalls = a like and a comment. Finally, a note to all the people who think baby pictures + Thursday = child pornography on the internet is okay: It's not, no matter how cute your rubber duck was or how toned your ass was as an infant.

Vacations

Vaca TBTs are a risky business, mostly because it's rude to ask people to give a shit 2.0 about your vacation which they probs never gave a shit about to begin with, and they were only liking your insta so you would like theirs in the future. But we digress. Anyway, when it comes to the throwback vaca, it's all about timing. For example if it's the anniversary of Spring Break or your trip to Vegas. Also in some rare instances if you were away just a week ago and your vaca was REALLY sick, you're permitted to do a TSBT (too-soon TBT, fucking duh).

Awkward Stage Middle School Bestie Pics

These are the only instas in which it's okay to look sort of ugly/have braces/wear a jean skirt/tankini, BUT ONLY IF you clearly call attention to both of your awkward stages via hashtag. #icantbelievewewentoutlikethat #themedcoloredbraces Despite the fact that you all look like tools, you should obviously look like the hottest tool of the group. So try to remember your old Picture Trail logins so you can find that time you went to the mall on a Friday night and took a group pic. #sexyseven4lyfe
 

When You TBT Ironically to Last Saturday

How thin is the line between a latergram and a TBT? The world may never know. Maybe you just forgot to insta the amazing pic of your bestie running into Mr. Hall on the street Saturday night, or maybe you tried to upload it to Facebook but can't figure out that stupid fucking app. Either way you should be cautious when trying to ironically throwback recent pics. There are only so many times I'll press like on a Thursday and I probably don't want to waste it on your failed attempt at a joke.
 

Hot High School and College Pics

Unlike with awkward stage middle school pics, there's no reason on Betches' green earth why you should ever look ugly in your TBTs of high school and college. These were the days of iPhoto retouch and color boost, you have no excuse for choosing a pic where you and/or your besties look like shit. Appropriate occasions for this category of TBT include: homecoming, #3 abroad, #11 tailgates, themed parties (#ceosandcorporatehoes #ninthgrade), #45 graduation, that time you got kicked out of #40 formal, etc. 

Birthday Collage TBTs

Sometimes your instagram followers will have the good luck that one of your bestie's birthdays lands on a Thursday, for which it's necessary to honor her with a birthday throwback instacollage. Your collage might contain anywhere from 4-40 photos and will include you dressed up in costumes, hugging each other, tanning on beaches, selfies with kissy faces, selfies with your tongues out, linking arms while drinking wine, etc. Every betch knows if you don't spend at least an hour and have at least 300 photos to choose from while arranging this mosaic then you've failed as a bestie and human.

In general, the most important rule of thumb for TBTs is that they should be used in moderation. We're talking once a month, twice maybe. No one wants to look at your fucking three year old face or you and your besties dressing like high school sluts every goddamn week. While the occasional TBT is ironic and funny, too much is just a red flag to your followers that you've finally realized that you peaked in high school. 

5 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. SugarfreeHazelnut says:

    ” Your collage might contain anywhere from 4-40 photos and will include you dressed up in costumes, hugging each other, tanning on beaches, selfies with kissy faces, selfies with your tongues out, linking arms while drinking wine, etc.”
    Perfect. LOVED this article.

    Posted on Reply
  2. STOP says:

    NEVER THE FUCKING BESTIE COLLAGE. PLEASE. Why has this become a thing???? I’m soooo sick of it showing up on my feed w/ its obligatory 11 likes. The only one I’ve probably ever liked is one of me and that’s only because I looked skinny in all the pictures.

    Just no.

    Posted on Reply
  3. I CAN'T says:

    This is bliss. WELL FUCKING DONE BETCHES.

    Posted on Reply
  4. marie says:

    agreed. well done.

    Posted on Reply
  5. anon says:

    drake should #tbt some pics of his quadriplegic days on degrassi…

    Posted on Reply
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