Tracker Pixel for Entry
By The Betches on

As betches who reserve the limited space in our hearts for items of true value like gold studded iphone cases and red sole shoes, it's obvious that the space in our stomachs is restricted to edible valuables as well, like Diet Coke, sushi, and adderall. But unlike our hearts, our stomachs will always leave a little room for the betchiest snack of the Mediterranean, hummus.

true blood recapNo hummus will ever be our hummus

Pronounced hummus, hoom-oos, or simply humz, this healthy snack is all the rave in betches' refrigerators around the world. It was probably the first food that every betch bought in college and felt like she was being soooo fucking healthy. Hummus will protect me from the freshman 15!

Betches judge every book by its cover, and hummus is obviously healthy because it LOOKS like it is. By that we mean, the extremely appetizing pasty consistency of hummus ensures portion control. Every betch knows hummus is totes healthy, as long as it's eaten with cucumbers or 1-2 air chips.

Hummus haters might point out the nutrition label and alleged caloric content of this snack but like, why are you so anti-hamas? Isn't pita bread the real enemy? 

Think about it, what word precedes 'goddess' almost all of the time? Greek. And what comes from Greece? Hummus. Everyone knows foreign condiments are elite and exotic. It's like queso, but for people who speak english and like, aren't gross.

Don't know where to get the most delicious hummus? Just ask a JAB, and she will almost always point you to the most authentic of Israeli restaurant chains, Aroma, where you can have a side with your diced cucumber tomato salad and then instagram your coffee. So, all of you Sabra sluts and Tribe tramps need not worry any longer, you have our permission to dip away. After all, they're called chic peas for a reason.

<< 177. Online Shopping                                   179. Expensive Workout Clothes >>

27 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. FoodieBetch says:

    You have officially covered all of my food groups: Diet Coke, froyo, sushi, and now hummus. It’s all a girl needs to survive.

    Posted on Reply
  2. yay! says:

    hummus is sooo yummus! heh

    Posted on Reply
  3. israeli betch says:

    WASPs say hummus
    JABs say hoomoos
    Israelis say chhoomoos

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    hummus isn’t Greek

    Posted on Reply
      • The Persian Jew says:

        its no arab either. everyone in the Middle East has it, has been making it millenia.

        are you so desperate to have accomplishments that you think your culture is the one to have figured out how to grind chickpeas into a paste for dipping bread into? LOL

        Posted on Reply
  5. liat says:

    yum! hummus hummus hummus! i guess i am a sabra slut :O

    Posted on Reply
  6. 142 says:

    DEAD from the Bruno reference….pita bread IS the real enemy

    Posted on Reply
  7. betch says:

    Hummus is Lebanese betches

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    you haven’t had real hummus until you’ve gone to abu ghosh. when’s betchography: israel coming out?!

    Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      abu ghosh is amaze. love it. btw, they did betches love this city: tel aviv.

      Posted on Reply
  9. Sara says:

    Don’t get my wrong I obviously love hummus, but hummus isn’t a Greek thing and mind you this is coming from an authentic Greek goddess. Anyways, the hummus of Greece is actually tzatziki, any smart betch would know this…

    Posted on Reply
  10. kim says:

    hummus isnt greek, or israeli. its lebanese. love the betches and it def sucks to do work, but a quick google search couldve told you that

    Posted on Reply
  11. Helen says:

    Hummus isn’t Greek or Israeli it’s Arab. you have to know your hummus facts to be a cultured betch not a retarded one.

    Posted on Reply
  12. Sabine says:

    Hummus isn’t greek or israeli. It’s defo Arab. You have to know your hummus facts to be a cultured betch not a retarded one.

    Posted on Reply
  13. Mimi says:

    hummus is an arabic word it was def not invented by israelis…

    Posted on Reply
  14. me says:

    who the fuck cares where hummus is from. its delicious so stfu.

    Posted on Reply
  15. just sayin says:

    studded iphone cases are kinda tacky….

    Posted on Reply
  16. the best says:

    “they’re called chic peas for a reason”

    Posted on Reply
  17. kel says:

    spot on analysis betches: diet coke, addy and hummus are def my 3 major food groups. btdubs, celery > cucs for dipping, that shit is prime.

    Posted on Reply
  18. K says:

    Maybe, if we changed the Bible stories, we would get people more easily to relate to them. Instead of the fish story you could do it about Sushi, or instead of giving out bread you could do something which has a no-carb or gluten-free alternative.

    Posted on Reply
  19. betch says:

    hummus started in egypt. done.

    Posted on Reply
  20. nors says:

    hummus is definitely arab, no question about it.

    Posted on Reply
Post your comment: