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By The Betches on

While it's widely known that betches rarely read (with few exceptions), The Great Gatsby is one of like three books we know of, mostly because it's about blacking out and parties. We're pretty excited for the movie and seriously hope it doesn't suck, which we're pretty sure it will given the excessive commercials and the pre-release of the soundtrack. Either way, the soundtrack happens to be bomb and we've posted our favorites. Sia, Gotye, Jack White, and Florence + the Machine also have darker/less fun songs on the full album, which you can listen to here on something called National Public Radio. Public, ew.

 

Back to Black - Andre 3000 & Beyonce

A throwback to our girl Amy. You can hear the Beyonce part of this song (the best part) on the commercials. Try to forget that the male vocalist is known to us as the Hey Ya one-hit-wonder.

 

Bang Bang - will.i.am

This one sounds a lot more like will.i.am featuring Britney Spears on autotune than just will.i.am on his own but it would not doubt be perfect to take shots to.

 

100$ Bill - Jay-Z

A rap destined to be overplayed. This version has a mashup with Leo DiCaprio's voice making it not just another Jay-Z masterpierece but a totally motivating workout song.


A Little Party Never Killed Nobody - Fergie & Q-Tip & GoonRock

The title of this song is a little ironic given the fact that there's also an Amy Winehouse cover on the album, but hey, a little party never killed anybody we know personally. 

 

Young & Beautiful - Lana del Rey

If you're feeling depressed or are a Lana fan or it's raining, this is the slow song we recommend. Our respect for Lana is generally up after hearing this, especially considering she made it onto the soundtrack and Adele did not.

57 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. omg says:

    Florence + the machine.


    no s

    go fuck yoself

    Posted on Reply
  2. The hell? says:

    ‘male vocalist is the Hey Ya one-hit-wonder’

    Well done for knowing absolutely nothing about one of the most creative and successful rapper/singer-songwriter/producers of the last 20 years. Excellent work again Betches.. put down the EDM (noo ne looks cute pilled off their face in a crop top with their sweaty gut hanging out anyway) and try listening to some real music.

     

    Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      Seriously has a point. You guys are fucking retarded when it comes to music.

      Posted on Reply
    • thisbetch says:

      You took the words right out of my mouth. thank you.
      Also - Q-Tip collaborating with the likes of Fergie? Ugh.

      Posted on Reply
  3. Unbelievable says:

    Did you seriously just say that Andre 3000 was a one hit wonder? Outkast is one of the best selling hip-hop groups of all time.

    Posted on Reply
    • right.. says:

      I was literally thinking the same thing…someone needs to be fired

      Posted on Reply
  4. Hip Betch says:

    Wow you called Andre 3000 a one hit wonder? Are you really that dumb? Ever heard of Outkast… I guess not you were too busy working on your tan and ED in the past few years.

    Posted on Reply
  5. wut says:

    “the male vocalist is the Hey Ya one-hit-wonder” ........... i can’t even

    Posted on Reply
  6. that same "one hit wonder" says:

    put out the following chart topping billboard hits while you were busy not knowing wat the fuck you’re talking about: 

    Player’s Ball
    Ms Jackson
    So Fresh So Clean
    Bombs over Baghdad
    Roses
    The Way You Move

    And these are just a few of OutKast’s most well-known songs.

    Please keep to your shitty edm updates bc you clearly know nothing about real music.

    Posted on Reply
    • The hell? says:

      regardless, all the trailer trash at EDM concerts are horrific. you’re not a spice girl, put away the fucking crop top and start spending some real money on decent clothes.

      p.s if that’s the only thing you took from my comment then you clearly spend too much time listening to EDM

      Posted on Reply
  7. This writer says:

    Needs to be fired. You don’t know shit about music if you think Andre 3000 is a one-hit wonder OR that “Hey-Ya” would be the “one” hit.

    Idk about you other betches, but I have not once been impressed by this “music” column. Great idea, really poor execution.

    Posted on Reply
  8. In their defense... says:

    Y’all are either old as fuck or those people who think the 80s and 90s were so much cooler than now. No one gives a shit. The only songs I care from them are Ms. Jackson and Hey Ya. How am I supposed to even know that Andre 3000 was a part of the group?  I thought that he was some black guy trying to start a name for himself by singing with Beyoncé. Talking about music like you know everything is TTH and seriously not betchy. Go to some music site or wherever you can release your feelings. Not. Here.

    Posted on Reply
    • obviously says:

      You’ve either been living under a rock, or you’re like 12 years old. Either way, you suck.

      Posted on Reply
    • Obviously says:

      You’ve been living under a rock, or you’re like 12 years old. Either way you suck.

      Posted on Reply
    • Oh dear says:

      Of course we’re TTH for knowing good music when clearly you don’t know shit.. makes sense.

      Posted on Reply
    • Get over yourself says:

      Um Andre 3000 has worked with everyone from Jay Z to frank ocean, and is an amazing music producer.  It’s ok for you to not know this cuz your not a music reviewer this writer is.

      Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      stop always trying to fit in the image of being “betchy” haha that’s pretty “TTH” if you ask me
      dumb little girls

      Posted on Reply
    • The Hell? says:

      The article was a fucking review of the soundtrack, thus we are obviously commenting on the music you fucktard. and old as fuck? I’m going to take a wild guess that you aren’t of age to hit the clubs yet? Fucking adorable.

      Posted on Reply
    • LMFAO says:

      The 80s and 90s? Outkast and Andre 3000’s PRIME was the fucking new millenium. So unless you weren’t born until literally yesterday, your argument is invalid and you should STFU. the end.

      Posted on Reply
  9. Bobby says:

    How do you know this movie is going to suck based on “commercials and pre-released soundtrack”? That logic makes zero sense. If anything it means the film is great because the film company is putting a lot of marketing into is and doesn’t care about the soundtrack revenue. This whole article is wack, you forgot some great songs.

    Bitchy, not betchy

    Posted on Reply
    • Umm says:

      Because that’s how it works. If the marketing is over the top the movie usually sucks. Remember how many ads they ran for Year 1? Get a clue.

      Posted on Reply
      • FuckingDuh says:

        “Umm” has a good point, usually the over the top marketing is needed for a movie that is going to blow. However, Leonardo DiCaprio is in it so that argument is invalid, this movie is going to be spectacular.

        Posted on Reply
  10. Grace says:

    Maybe its “betchy” to not read, but its embarrassing to be dumb which is how you made yourself look when you call a member of Outkast a one hit wonder and infer that a film is bad because the studio is taking the time out to amp up its marketing (which is something they wouldn’t waste time and money on if they thought the film would be a flop).

    Posted on Reply
    • grammar says:

      imply not infer…duh

      Posted on Reply
  11. ivybetch says:

    the comment on Andre 3000 was too ignorant….. but “If you’re feeling depressed or are a Lana fan or it’s raining, this is the slow song we recommend” so on point, hahahah

    Posted on Reply
  12. daisy buchanan says:

    lana del rey seriously needs to be in betch of the week. she’s such a betch.

    Posted on Reply
  13. wow.. says:

    everyone calm down ok? first of all andre 3000 is certainly not what i would call an artist from the 80s or 90s, he’s pretty current BUT to each is his own, like its really silly to be calling betches out for being unknowledgable about music- music snobs are the worst…chill out, if a betch wants to rage to edm fucking COOL don’t think you’re better just cause you know the tracklist of speakerboxx

    Posted on Reply
    • really. says:

      Kiss ass much? If you’re writing about an artist, it’s expected that you know what you’re talking about.

      Posted on Reply
    • Hah says:

      Pretty sure its acceptable to ‘call betches out for being unknowledgeable about music’ when they’re writing a piece about music….

      Posted on Reply
  14. Smart girls have more fun says:

    Hey Betches,

    I just want to adress the first line:“While it’s widely known that betches rarely read (with few exceptions).”

    It’s appalling how you promote illiteracy and 1950s stereotypes.

    Anyone who is in a real position of power knows being well informed is intrinsic to being a powerful bitch.

    Good luck going through life being vapid, shallow,and stupid.

    Honey,look around,smart girls have more fun.

     

    Posted on Reply
    • Fuck this site says:

      I used to find this site amusing, but it’s really, REALLY pathetic and a great representation at how fucking idiot my generation can be. I know it’s a humorous website, but putting down anyone who sounds intelligent by calling them “not betchy” is ridiculous and not remotely funny. Betches Love This used to be something I looked at every once in a while to fuel my hatred for Anne Hathaway or to read hilarious Bachelor Recaps, but the more I go on this page, the more I realize the people who produce it and avid readers are horrible, stupid little girls.

      By the way, if the movie sucks, it will be because it’s over the top and missed the entire point of Fitzgerald’s prose, just like you girls did.

      Posted on Reply
    • BettyCrockerBetch says:

      Thanks for the life advice! Are you like a psych major?!? Ohemmgee, I would have spent my entire life illiterate if you hadn’t told me smart girls could have more fun! And thanks for wishing luck to those who choose to be vapid and stupid! I’m so glad you understand, I mean it’s not like I don’t try to be smart, but gosh reading and math are so hard! I’m going to get back in the kitchen now and day dream about jello molds and vacuums!

      Posted on Reply
    • Literate says:

      How can people be promoting illiteracy if you have to READ the blog to even understand that? I am pretty sure choosing not to read is not the same as being illiterate.

      Posted on Reply
  15. hellooooo says:

    Just a reminder that this website is satire. Cool your jets, OutKast lovers.

    Posted on Reply
    • no says:

      everyone is just pointing out that they sound ignorant

      Posted on Reply
      • duh says:

        I’m pretty sure pretending to be ignorant is the point of like 70% of the satire on this site, you idiot

        Posted on Reply
    • fucking duh says:

      satire should be witty. this is not. sit the fuck down

      Posted on Reply
  16. ella says:

    As an Amy Winehouse fan, I despise the Beyonce & Andre song….it has no soul, it`s like another teen mtv pop song.

    Posted on Reply
    • yes says:

      totally agree^

      Posted on Reply
  17. blahq says:

    EASTVILLAGERADIO.COM

    Posted on Reply
  18. boredbetch says:

    Damn, these comments are funny! Nice distraction from my work day. Anyway, all I want to say is that the Nero song on the soundtrack is the shit and should have been linked in this article too. Can’t wait to see this movie.

    Posted on Reply
  19. DaisyBetch says:

    Not a music snob, not an OutKast fan, but even I know that Andre 3000 is like a lot bigger deal than just Hey Ya.

    Posted on Reply
  20. agreed says:

    whoever does the music portion of this site is seriously fucked…i have secondhand embarrassment for you

    Posted on Reply
  21. >.> says:

    Just another post that tries too hard to be something it’s not.

    Quality > Quanity, Betches!

    Posted on Reply
  22. Chatty Kathy says:

    This movie is going to be one of the best there ever was. Starring Leo D. and Jay Z. on the soundtrack? What gets better than that? Can we also talk about how this book and its movie adaptation is basically just a betches life in a nutshell: crazy parties and getting blackout drunk. Go see it Friday in theaters then see what Chatty Kathy thought about it at chattykathy411.blogspot.com

    Posted on Reply
  23. Kitten bitch says:

    Whoever wrote this article should be fired. First of all, the movie is directed by baz lurhman, therefore it won’t suck and your reasoning behind that is illogical. Second of all, the Andre 3000 thing. Go fuck yourself!

    Posted on Reply
    • cherry says:

      okay, pipe the fuck down.

      the movie is directed by baz luhrmann, therefore it WILL suck. luhrmann is such a beyond shitty director. not everything needs to be saturated in color and glitter all the time. also, if you’re going to defend someone, learn to spell his name.

      Posted on Reply
  24. Smart betch says:

    It’s ok, betches. I picked up on the irony. Guess I’m the only one who did…

    Posted on Reply
  25. Andre3000 says:

    I can’t believe that the writer of this said “Try to forget that the male vocalist is known to us as the Hey Ya one-hit-wonder.”

    Andre 3000 is far from a one hit wonder, he is a legend.

    Really shows what lack of knowledge you have on music in general.

    Posted on Reply
  26. Obsessed says:

    I LOVE LANAAAAAAA

    Posted on Reply
  27. yeago says:

    the best fuckin song in gatsby didnt even make the sountrack and i cant find it anywhere. and this movie was a work of are and this story is beyond most of you so you should probly just sit down.

    Posted on Reply
  28. J says:

    I haven’t questioned your betchiness until you called Andre 3000 a one hit wonder….no words. Learn your shit!

    Posted on Reply
  29. cherry says:

    a) this movie is not only going to suck, but this book was one of the few required books i ever bothered to actually read in school instead of just skim because it was fucking amazing. for those of you betches who claim to like the Gatsby story (if you don’t like it / never read it, this isn’t directed at you) and think that’s what Gatsby is about… the parties and glitz… go read the fucking book again.

    b) André 3000… no words. do your writers/interns go through any sort of competence checks whatsoever. Roses was THE song of summer 04, and then there’s The Way You Move, Ms. Jackson, Rosa Parks, Green Light (André and John Legend) and Hey Ya. And “Bowtie” is my shit so don’t even talk about one-hit wonder… are we joking?

    Posted on Reply
  30. Leolovaa says:

    Bitch you must be crazy! Andre 3000’s part on Back to Black was the best…and clearly there is something wrong with your memory—calling Outkast / ‘Hey Ya’ a one hit wonder. Let’s recall Ms. Jackson, Roses, B.O.B, So Fresh, So Clean, and Rosa Parks. Crazy betches.

    Posted on Reply
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