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By The Betches on

Betches, the time has finally come when you can stop bombarding us with requests to write about fashion. So who's our mysterious new fashion blogger and why should you trust that she'll help you avoid leaving the house looking like you try too hard, or worse, Kristen Stewart?

 

Liza Randall

 

Well...she studies womenswear at the London College of Fashion, she's previously worked for Donna Karan, Jennifer Miller and Scoop, not to mention her betchy mom has been a successful fashion designer for the last 25 years. And obviously, was voted best dressed in the high school class of '07.

But her most notable achievement is that she's our bestie. So betches, fucking listen up and stop looking like shit. Introducing our fashion spirit guide, Chic Betch.

 


 

I find Memorial Day weekend a bit awkward because it's really just a "coming out party" for summer clothes, but at the same time you don't know if you should jump right into your favorite new items or ease in with the season. I spent MDW in the Hamptons with the rest of the socialites doing some "street research" and to be honest, I wasn't overwhelmed by the fashion choices. I've resorted to my own research back in the hub that is New York City and after endless searching through the stores, websites, and closets of the betchiest girls I know, I've come up with my top 10 items to start the summer.

 

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Neon Skinnies, Topshop: PSA: Mint is the color for Summer 2012. Having said that, what could be better than NEON mint? ... That was a rhetorical question. Everyone knows full on neon is for try-hards and LSD groupies. Mint says, I have the fun spirit of a raver but I'm also not fucking poor. See it here>>

 

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Skirt, Helmut Lang: I'm all about buying "work horse" items. I like things that can go day/night or night/day for when I'm doing a walk of shame and don't want my 80-year-old doorman to know I'm a whore and I also want to stop for a coffee without an awkward stare. This skirt is one of my favorites... great length for daytime and the right amount of leg for nighttime. Just do a little shoe switch with the outfit and you're good to go from 90 cent streetwalker to the classiest girl on the east side. See it here>>

 

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Blazer, Zara: Speaks for itself. Super cute with black jeans/tank or white jeans/tank. Perfect for that pop of color you need on the first date. This vest screams "I'm stylish" but your mom won't think I'm a stuck up prissy bitch when she meets me. That will take a few months. See it here>>

 

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Tuxedo Skinnies, Rag & Bone: Love, love, love. Keeping the tuxedo trend going and slimming the leg with the black stripe down the side - great pant to have on call. I've seen them copied and they just don't do it for me. Side note that if you can't pull them off you can't fucking pull them off and that is it. No one wants to go out on the town with the betch who looks like she just came back from her weekly bowling league. See it here>>

 

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Dress, Nasty Gal (exclusive): If you're a line cutter like me, you're going to need to show some skin. This dress is the perfect amount of cut-the-line skin while trying to maintain the idea that we have an ounce of class (just an ounce, watch yourself). I love the high neckline because it leaves room for a collar necklace and the back well... there is none. See it here>>

 

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Wedge, Kelsi Dagger: A great wedge that won't steal too much from your fall 2012 Louboutin fund. The electric blue have stolen my heart as the perfect candidate to jazz up an outfit while remaining comfortable for dancing on the couches at your bro's SL table. See it here>>

 

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Messenger, Cambridge Satchel - This is definitely "the move" for summer 2012. Proenza Schouler makes a more "luxe" version of the bag but at 1/8th of the price, go for a Cambridge Satchel... we all know this is not a classic. While satchels sound like they're for ugly horseback riding girls with serious acne, a true betch knows that a colorful one like this is the perfect day bag (or even at night for a casual beach party). It really only holds a wallet, phone, camera and sunglasses so if you're a hoarder betch who needs room for a first aid kit or feels anxiety without a stash of #101 makeup this is not for you. See it here>>

 

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Blouse, Necessary Clothing - Reminds me of a Parker top...well a cute Parker top that is (they exist). Yes, the price is real and no, it doesn't look cheap in person. Great option in the wardrobe when you're dying to sport your latest accessories and need a plain top. See it here>>

 

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Watch, La Mer: It’s time to retire your Michele, Cartier, Rolex or whatever it is you betches have up your sleeve… at least for a couple days a week. This watch is very cute with it’s grey/gold wrap bracelet. This will be one of your favorite accessories to throw with a tan and jean shorts. Be sure to check out the website for other options… there are around ten watches I’d love to call my own. See it here>>

 

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Short, BB Dakota: I’ve been seeing a lot of lace and crochet shorts this summer but have yet to find a pair that actually look cute on. I’ve checked out the options by Nightcap and Zara and they just don’t make the cut. I’m sure the RED Valentino option wouldn’t be too bad but why spend $400 on shorts that have a 95% chance of getting a cranberry and Goose all over them? Tiered lace by BB Dakota, yes please. See it here>>

 

If you want to contact Chic Betch email her at fashionbetch@gmail.com and follow @ChicBetch on Twitter!

 

31 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. MidwestBetch says:

    Michelle Watches only has one “l”-Michele.

    Posted on Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    Be sure to catch wannabe Betches everywhere this summer sporting only the items listed in this post

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    who wears a blazer in the summer?

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    You obviously don’t go out at night or understand the importance of a good blazer to dress up an outfit.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Melissa says:

    Or she could possibly live in south florida with the rest of us and understand that here, blazers are impossible.

    Posted on Reply
  6. Rocco says:

    ^
    Blazers are never, ever, impossible.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    Some of these clothes are flat-out hideous. That “work horse” skirt? The tuxedo pants? And why is she so worried about how much things cost, betches are rich and dont care about the price tag. I really hope this post was a joke

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    I bought almost an identical dress two summers ago from urban outfitters and colored skinny jeans from Paris over a year ago. They were a pastel blue instead of a mint tho…but overall these looks are gorg…LOVING the skirt.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Kay says:

    Cambridge Satchel’s has been “the move” for over a year now. Every fashion betch even ones w a metro card know this. I think its actually played now. nice try though

    Posted on Reply
  10. Kath says:

    Ew.

    Posted on Reply
  11. cbizzle says:

    I love Liza Randal…shes a fashion god. One time Liza Randall wore army pants and Louboutins so I wore army pants and Louboutins. Shes a revolutionary.

    Posted on Reply
  12. Nicolette says:

    Obsessed with these watches! I have 3 and make sure to wear one everyday to go with my outfit! Totally a betchy accessory!

    Posted on Reply
  13. Breezy says:

    Hahahah

    Posted on Reply
  14. Ilissa says:

    Clearly if you didn’t like this post, you’re just jealous of the Betch who wrote it!

    Posted on Reply
  15. Boston says:

    100% polyester ? come on

    Posted on Reply
  16. NYCbetch says:

    Love the SL reference, such a nyc betch obv

    Posted on Reply
  17. South Florida Betch says:

    Agreed - it is so ungodly hot here, I would never wear a blazer in the summer, ever.

    Posted on Reply
  18. C says:

    For those of us in south florida, half of these items are out of the question.

    Posted on Reply
  19. Melissa says:

    But those skinnies could be super cute for winter here! smile

    Posted on Reply
  20. Anonymous says:

    I (the original commenter or whatever) live (read: go to college) south of the Mason/Dixon. Blazers are strictly a late October-early March thing out of necessity. Plus, isn’t summer—much like Halloween—all about wearing as little as possible? If I need to “dress up” my bandage dress, I pile on jewelry and wear expensive shoes/carry an expensive bag, as it should be. Or on second thought, I never need to “dress up” my going-out clothes because they’re already fabulous.

    What betch in her 20s wears a fucking blazer out unless it’s cold outside? Do you have a fat arm to conceal?

    Posted on Reply
  21. Anonymous says:

    seriously. like, pants? honestly? who wears pants in the summer? summer is about wearing mini-everything.

    Posted on Reply
  22. fashionbetch says:

    You brought necessary clothing to the american masses! bad idea.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Anonymous says:

    Seriously…and nasty gal…why betches, why?

    Posted on Reply
  24. Anonymous says:

    Again… in the north it’s cold at night.

    Posted on Reply
  25. iz says:

    touche

    Posted on Reply
  26. Jlee says:

    You will understand the importance of a blazer when daddy finally makes you get a job.

    http://jleesblog.com

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    ew…one more reason i don’t envy your life

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    Ok,so I thought the mint skinnier were kind of gross when I first read this post, but I was in Paris last week and literally saw like 5 different betches wearing them. Kind of warming up to the idea

    Posted on Reply
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