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By The Betches on

Dear Betch,

From reading the previous submissions I feel like my situation is a little more serious, but idk who else to run to. I have been dating this pro for about a year now. In the beginning things were good, we had some issues but he was still a sweet, respectable guy, regardless of my betchy-ness. But we just recently began to get more serious and decided to get a place together and ever since he has turned into a completely different person. He is emotionally abusive towards me, calling me a slut and a whore whenever he can. He also likes to throw out the C word whenever he can because he knows he can get a rise out of me. He also spits on me and throws me around when he gets really mad, always saying its my fault because I "provoke" him. I've tried to leave but I hat can't find the strength to do it. I once was a total betch, had every guy I wanted eating out of the palm of my hand and now I'm just this shell of a person. I'm totally embarrassed for staying with someone who does not deserve me. Please help.

Dear No Name,

You're totally right that your situation is a little more serious than the typical Dear Betch letter and for that reason you need way more help than our advice but we'll give you a start. Ever seen the movie Sleeping With the Enemy? It's extremely fucked up but here's what happens: Julia Roberts married a rich pro who was really nice to her in the beginning, but over time he became scary and controlling and hit her. Then after these episodes he would go back to acting really nice and sweet but would watch her every move so she couldn't leave him, until finally she faked her own death to escape. And that's just the first 20 minutes.

What your email describes is exactly how your run-of-the-mill abusive relationship starts. If the guy always went straight to severe emotional and physical abuse in the beginning, you never would've gotten this involved in the first place. It starts with things like spitting on you and calling you a cunt. Hurting you and then saying you provoke him couldn't be more typical of abusive behavior. Ever wonder why Taylor Armstrong stuck around so long, even while Kyle was in the hot tub in Beaver Creek BEGGING her to leave? Because Taylor's husband made her feel like it was her fault and she was powerless to leave. It's a vicious cycle that weakens you over time so you keep taking it. If you really feel like you can't leave on your own, then you should look for help from a friend, family member, therapist, a fucking women's hotline. Just make sure to GTFO.


The Betches

Dear betches,

I was the black sheep out of my group of friends being the only one that was still a virgin. Until this summer I got involved with a guy, trusted him, believed all the bullshit he said to get into my pants. His lies worked and he took my virginity. What I thought was leading to a relationship was nothing but an asshole using me to make his list longer and rack up as many girls a possible. I see him everyday at school and every party since we conveniently share a lot of the same friends. Now the best conversation we have are awkward hi/byes. I'm afraid to fall back into seeing other guys because now I don't know who to trust.

Sincerely, desperate for him

Dear Desperate for him,

As much as this sucks, we wish we could say it's uncommon. It's not. He just wanted to fuck you, and we're actually really proud of you for recognizing that. Usually these letters are like, "he was amazing and then we fucked and he's ignoring me, why?" but yours reveals a level of awareness and non-delusion that's nearly shocking.

So it started off you were upset about being a virgin. Look on the bright side, you're not anymore. So you didn't have the virginity-losing fairytale you wanted? Get over it. The guy's clearly an asshole, so the only thing you can do is act like you don't care. It doesn't matter if you're "desperate for him," just act like you're not and try to get over it. If you're not ready to see other guys, that's fine, it's not like you're in a rush to lose your virginity anymore, so you can wait to have sex again until it's with someone who's truly proven himself worthy beforehand.


The Betches

7 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. too much says:

    this week’s Dear Betch was way too serious like I’m so stoned and just wanted to laugh at some delusional daters/annoying TTH betches but wow this was like really deep…totally killed my high.

    Posted on Reply
  2. bravo betches says:

    while i can see “too much"s point I have to commend you betches especially for the first letter. this girl is obviously in need of some help and I hope that she see’s your response and takes it seriously. to that girl i would just like to say i was in an abusive relationship like yours (reading your letter seriously gave me flashbacks) and somehow found the strength to get out of it. since then i am in an incredible relationship with a man who i love deeply and who would never do the kinds of things to me that my ex did.. when one door closes another opens and i know its incredibly unbetchy to end with that cliche but girlfriend, its true, so get your ass out that door.

    Posted on Reply
  3. :( says:

    Shady pros can really fuck with a betches mentality

    Posted on Reply
    • so true says:

      the thing is betches are so used to running shit and having their live’s “together” that it’s almost embarrassing to have to ask for help in this kind of situation but (and i feel like an after school special saying this) your quality friends won’t judge you for this or hold it against you so reach out.  this is your life…take back the reins.  it’s what a real betch would do.  best of luck.

      Posted on Reply
  4. Ivy says:

    Dear No Name:

    I was in that sitch once. Here’s what you do: hook up a different place to stay and get a restraining order pronto. The only language that dudes like that speak is fear, control, and authority. If he breaks it call the police to tell him you mean business.

    You need to do this ASAP. What if you get pregnant before you go?! Then you’ll have an eternity of fucked.

    Temporary emergency orders are issued the same day you apply, you’ll be surprised at how quickly you get your real personality back. You might even end up betchier than you were to begin with!

    But seriously get out right now.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Ivy says:

    Oh, one more thing. You have nothing to be embarrassed about—you didn’t do anything wrong, he did—he’s the one who should be ashamed of himself, not you.

    Posted on Reply
  6. nouveau betch says:

    No Name: run, in the other direction, as fast as you can.  Do not pass go…but first, collect $200.  From his wallet.

    Posted on Reply
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