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By The Betches on

Dear Betch, 

I could really use some third party input from a witty and amazing betch like yourself. I rejected a really great guy because I couldn't give him commitment. I hate that shit. And basically our friendship ended. A year later, he changed into a total BRO. He gained a rep for being a player, total party animal and an all around arrogant jerk. You get the picture. But somehow he comes back into my life, and makes me realize how much Ive missed him. I fell for him and when I finally put my issues aside and told him how I felt, he just said "let's be f-buddies" I was kind of hurt cause I put myself out there and finally liked someone and just got shot down to being a bootycall. I moped about it to my girlfriends and tried to forget him. But here's where my drama starts. A week later, after my dilemma, one of my closest friends -- we'll call her skankyslore--- started a f-buddy situation with him BEHIND MY BACK despite knowing how I felt. A few months later, they got serious and ended in a relationship. I was upset but pretended not to care and being the sly Betch that I am, I kept her as a "fr-enemy." I was totally over the "bro" and knew he was an ass but I hooked up with him at a party to get my DIRTY REVENGE against skankyslore. Somehow everyone knows this now because skankyslore has been blabbing her mouth and everyones pissed at me for being a "terrible friend" and i guess a home wrecker? Betch, who's wrong here? Me or Skankyslore? She went behind my back in the first place

Yours truly,

Pissedbetch XOXO

Dear Pissed Betch,

You are obviously the one in the wrong because you hooked up with your "friend's" boyfriend. And not that we're in the business of coddling but if it makes you feel better we agree that this character you call 'skankyslore' is also a shit head.

From your email it sounds like a guy who used to be into you when he was a loser became cool and then was no longer interested in you, quite possibly because you rejected him and only became interested when he transformed from a loser nice guy to a shady douchebag. We get how attractive this change can be and we're not surprised he wasn't still down for a bitch who rejected him.

This skankyslore person sucks too because she shadily hooked up with someone she knew her friend had feelings for. Maybe she should've waited more than a week to begin this 'f-buddy situation' as you call it, but you can't fault her for ending up in a relationship with this bro and you had no business ruining it, no matter the circumstances.

Stop planning your DIRTY REVENGE and go find someone else.

Sincerely,

The Betches


Dear Betches,

I need some advice. There's this guy that Ive been sexually attracted to since day one when i first laid eyes on him. The only reason we even started talking was through my hard work, because lets be real, i'm not into the guys that are into me(too easy) and only live for those challenges. So we hungout a couple of times but he had a girlfriend, so of course the second I found out they broke up we hungout and slept together. I don't have patience for a relationship nor asking how his day was. How can I get him to accept that i only want to sleep with him without him seeing me as a whore?After all, ladies is pimps too.

Sincerely,

If guys can do it why cant we?

Dear If guys do it why can't we?

We don't see how this is really a problem. With the exception of a few serial daters, maybe gay bros, and complete freaks that we know, most college bros are more than happy having purely sexual relationships with betches. It's in their DNA. This doesn't mean you should aggressively be trying to fuck him but you can be as DTF. The caveat is don't be clingy, which is sounds like you might be since you said you put in "hard work" to talk to him. Betches don't work hard to talk to bros, they come to us.

More importantly, we have to say that we're skeptical of girls who say they can have long-standing unattached sexual relationships with bros they're attracted to. It's also in our DNA. But whatever you say.

Have fun whore!

Sincerely,

The Betches

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5 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Catty says:

    Betches, being a true betch involves not giving a bowl of shit for what other people think of you. And especially if they don’t think of you, they aren’t worth complaining about. “If guys can do it why can’t we” shouldn’t be fecking around the field since she forgot the cardinal rule of whoring: caring what her conquests think.

    Posted on Reply
  2. sooo... says:

    these dear betches from the past 2 or 3 weeks have been possibly the most boring articles in the entire world…

    Posted on Reply
    • ugh says:

      too true.

      Posted on Reply
  3. hahhaha says:

    “Have fun whore!”

    Posted on Reply
  4. Oreo says:

    Dear Betches,

    I’m just gonna get straight to the point because as a betch, I hate beating around the fucking bush. I’m a black betch. Yes, I’m black. I’m no where near, “ghetto” and I have a fucking bright future of being a trophy wife. My problem is that I am practically only attracted to white guys. In the past, I’ve hooked up with mainly white guys but that is only after they’ve been around me enough to know what an Oreo I really am. I’m not sure if this is true, but I’m guessing that the majority of white Bros are not attracted to black girls no matter how betchy they are. Is this true? And what can I do about it?

    Sincerely,

    Oreo

    Posted on Reply
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