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By The Betches on

Today we honor an abroad destination in the only chic country in the middle east, where betches are allowed to do things like dress slutty and look men in the eye. Sure it may have had rockets fired at it all of last week, but Tel Aviv is such a party place that the minute the sirens stopped, Israeli betches went right back to tanning on the beach, and that's exactly why we honor it today. If you thought your hurricane party was fun, imagine being blackout in a high-tech bomb shelter for a week!

The betch who travels to Tel Aviv is either visiting on birthright for like five hours or she is an abroad JAB who is obviously Jewish and loves that about herself. She will go abroad to Israel and have an amazing time and come home with an engraved Hadaya ring, a nameplate necklace of (what she thinks is) her hebrew name, and forever claim to know everything about middle eastern politics. When a betch comes back from being abroad in Tel Aviv she actually comes home thinking she is fully Israeli and everyone else just doesn't get it! It's my HOME, Birthright just isn't the same!!

During the Day You Should: skip class and go to the beach and get wasted at La La Land, fucking duh. On the one day it rains, you should go spend your shekels Monopoly money while shopping for jewelry at Neve Tzedek, on Shenkin Street for the Israeli stores, or the Ramat Aviv mall if you miss America that much. No matter where you go, be sure to rent a bike so you can take pictures of yourself on it and avoid getting blown up by taking the bus. Your Jewish mother will be grateful for both.

If you're on vaca with your Hasidic parents or something you should do the touristy shit such as go to the shuk and bargain (a Jewish tradition) for menorahs and wholesale hamsa keychains, or like go to Independence Hall and actually learn something...gross.

On the off chance you might want to eat something, if it's breakfast you should do Benedict's and eat shukshuka which is basically like eating nothing; if it's dinner go to Moon for sushi. For American-y salads and sandwiches go to Fresh, and if you're with your parents go to Messa or Herbert Samuel. For froyo you should go to Tamara and if you leave before instagramming yourself on the swings, you're probably like, a native Israeli.

At Night You Should: go #21 clubbing on the Nemal after thoroughly drunk bonding with your cab driver in your joke of a Hebrew accent. Shalowwwm, mah shlowmhaaaa? The clubs are on the port and weirdly change names like every six months but no matter what it's called this week, you can easily cut the line if you just loudly say I'M AN AMERICAN GIRL. Israeli bros love American betches so the easiest way to get a free drink there is to be born here. The best club is obviously Clara which is right on the beach and once it opens in the summer, it's basically the only place you'll be 24/7.

On the one occasion that you late night eat, which no one really does because you have to wear bikinis every day, it should be at Tony Vespa's. But don't, because no one in Israel is fat.

Special events include:

Yom Ha'atzmaut aka Israeli Independence Day - a huge fucking party a la Mardi Gras. If you want to pretend to #117 branch out you can go to the Florentine Street Party with actual Israelis, but most abroad betches will go to a promoted club or villa party with their besties from Michigan, Wisconsin, etc.

Purim - aka Israeli Halloween, where you get to dress just as slutty but not have to deal with obese American customs like eating candy.

Yom Ha'student - One of the few days you'll actually attend the school's campus, this is basically a giant university-sponsored party where they give out school supplies for free such as hookahs, alcohol and condoms. Awful day.

Weekend in Eilat - Eilat is basically Israel's Jersey Shore, so everyone goes for a music festival/Israeli roll-fest in the mountains.

Take more cultural weekend trips to Jerusalem, Tzfat to visit Avraham Leventhal, and Petra, Jordan if you're adventurous and want to see some really chic sand castles. For your insanely long spring break you'll probably go to Europe where you'll feel stressed and freezing the whole time and wish you were back in TLV (and you'll be sure to let everyone you encounter in Barcelona know that).

Drawbacks include:

  • mandatory hangovers at Ulpan
  • Israeli bros who seem really hot and cool until they become excessively aggressive and are trying to marry you (possibly only for a green card) after speaking to you for 10 minutes. Talk about delusional daters.
  • your one friend who actually DOES date an Israeli bro and never shuts up about how amazing his fam's Shabbat dinners are
  • no real #54 iced coffee (sorry Aroma, a frappuccino does not an iced coffee make)
  • no weed because everyone our age is drug tested for the army
  • nothing open on Saturdays due to tons of Shomer Shabbos people
  • this country has more cats than a nicegirl's menagerie

 

 

120 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. supbetch says:

    israel needs American help betches!

    Posted on Reply
  2. Whatever. says:

    Obviously you haven’t heard of Beirut.

    Posted on Reply
    • Hey Girl says:

      Down. Beirut>Tel Aviv

      Posted on Reply
      • Love it! says:

        Tel Aviv>Beirut (being a woman in Beirut was awful)!!! Tel Aviv is the most amazing city in the world (and I have done my fair share of traveling)

        Posted on Reply
      • betchybetch says:

        how can you have gone to Beirut and Tel Aviv in order to compare?

        Posted on Reply
    • algaba says:

      A-FUCKING-MEN. Ain’t no party like a post-civil-war-party. Also, better booze and music.


      (Coming from someone who has partied too hard in Beirut, Tel Aviv, and Ramallah, Palestine and, ugh, Amman)

      Posted on Reply
    • LB says:

      YES! i was just going to write this, spend a weekend in Beirut and try comparing that to partying anywhere else in the world ... !

      Posted on Reply
  3. laughing says:

    so i know like “not keeping up with the news” and whatever but ask any middle eastern expat betch and israel’s gross, sorry. systematic genocide of the palestinians isn’t cute. #dubaiiii

    Posted on Reply
    • betch says:

      you are dumb and uneducated

      Posted on Reply
      • still laughing says:

        i wouldn’t expect you to understand because if you’ve ever been to israel, you’re pretty much not allowed in any other middle eastern country :( tears. and if you’re just american and in the us then bahahahaha you’re adorable, try going abroad and see if you still disagree with me.

        Posted on Reply
        • Leila says:

          So the fact that some backwards Arab dictator wont let you into their country after being in Israel says what?

          Posted on Reply
        • Betchsupporter says:

          I went abroad to Israel and was able to travel from Israel to Jordan, from Israel to Egypt, and Israel to Turkey. I was with Israelis too…so your comment about not being allowed in any other middle eastern country from Israel is completely wrong.

          Posted on Reply
      • supbetch says:

        hahaha agreed.

        Posted on Reply
    • naniee says:

      ^uhm yes. as a betch who has actually been to both palestine and israel, i can say it’s clear that israel is totes oppressive and totally screwing over like millions of people.

      Posted on Reply
      • haha says:

        it’s embarrassing how wrong you are..

        Posted on Reply
      • not an idiot says:

        palestine isn’t an actual place you fucking idiot. how have you been there?

        Posted on Reply
        • you're disgusting says:

          Palestine isn’t an actual place?! You should be ashamed of yourself for saying this.

          Posted on Reply
          • Like, what? says:

            It’s not… It has never been a country. Look it up.

            Posted on Reply
          • db12345 says:

            Palestine doesnt exist you freak. The palestinian PEOPLE exist. But the country is called israel. whoa geography 101.

            Posted on Reply
            • you fucking idiot says:

              how the fuck did palestinian people come into existence then? did they just fucking decide to make up a new country? you are fucking ignorant and stupid. israel is probably the worst country in the world for what it does to the palestinian people, it’s practically genocide. i can’t wait til everyone finally realizes just how like the nazis the israelis have become. do your fucking research you ignorant whores.

              Posted on Reply
              • uhh, yeah says:

                Yeah actually, they did just fucking decide to make up a new country, just about the same time as Israel was being made as a new country. It’s obvy a complicated situation but if you didn’t even know that that’s what happened (don’t take my word for it, look up the British Mandate for Palestine)  maybe you should go do “some fucking research”.

                Posted on Reply
        • Your Name says:

          lol so trueee but lets not turn this harmless post into a political discussion

          Posted on Reply
        • Your Name says:

          yes, you are an idiot darling. xx

          Posted on Reply
        • embarrassed 4 U says:

          Is this a sick joke? For the record, Israel (formally Palestine) was only established in the 1940’s. The British pushed the Palestinians out in order to make a new homeland for the Jews after WWII. Do you want to know why so many Israeli’s look European? Because so many are descended from Europeans..fucking duh! (Bar Rafaeli, Natalie Portman et al) Also try finding Israel on a Map before 1950..exactly..

          Posted on Reply
      • wow says:

        youre so naive it hurts.

        Posted on Reply
      • ugh no nanieee says:

        all betches are fucking intelligent; they know that the betchiest country, the U.S., doesn’t even recognize Palestine, invalidating your so-called argument. Palestine is not a country. fucking duh

        Posted on Reply
    • jj says:

      #dubai, the human rights capital of the world, right? woo hoo

      Posted on Reply
    • mtl girl says:

      ^ ignorance.

      Posted on Reply
    • isreali betch says:

      shut the fuck up you skank. you reek of trying to hard to sound intellectual

      Posted on Reply
    • but like, actually. says:

      you might be “keeping up with the news” but that just means youre allowing yourself to be manipulated by their inaccurate, dramatized news.
      Why dont you visit and see it for yourself before you pick a side.
      israel is, pardon the pun, THE BOMB
      like actually the greatest place this world has ever seen.
      And unless youve seen all its beautiful cities, dont even talk.
      sure its got its ghetto look areas, like everywhere else in the world, but i dont see anything as beautiful as tiberias, eilat.. etc.

      Posted on Reply
  4. stephie says:

    whats with the same betch commenting like 5 times saying bad shit about israel. keep your shit talking to yourself and go try and party in lebanon or like, saudi arabia. oh and make sure to bring your gay bff with you… oh wait.

     

    Posted on Reply
    • You're an idiot says:

      Why don’t you bring your gay bff to a Republican convention…oh wait.
      If you’re going to disagree, at least put 1 out of your 2 brain cells to work when formulating a response.

      Posted on Reply
      • nyjab says:

        Oh wait… republicans won’t lynch your gay bff in the street.

        Posted on Reply
    • Jess says:

      Oh wait…some of us do actually party in lebanon. and with our gay bff! noone needs to say bad shit about Israel, but be a little more educated before you backlash. google the CNN video on nightlife in Beirut if you’re too lazy to do work and read smile

      Posted on Reply
  5. Lulu says:

    defo agree with naniee israel is one of the biggest human rights abusers in the world and oppression and occupation isnt betchy

    Posted on Reply
  6. Arabetch says:

    Fucking duh. Tel Aviv is for poor people. Why don’t you put like… Dubai. Or Beirut. Way betchier!! Plus, Israel is full of fat losers that bang their heads against walls, lol. Dubai and Beirut = skinny betches.

    Posted on Reply
  7. disgusted says:

    Good for you betches for posting an article highlighting how phenomenal Israel and Tel Aviv truly are. If you have actually been to Israel you would know that it is a stunning and fabulous country. It may not be as glamorous as some other countries but it is beautiful and insanely fun. The people are so kind, loving, and accepting, way more friendly than any american, canadian, or european I have ever met.

    If you want to hate on Israel and have pride for dubai or whatever, fine. Im sure its fabulous as well. Just keep it to yourself. There will never be peace if BITCHES (not betches, you dont deserve that title) like you feel the need to post comments all over a website that we all love, hating on Israel and the Jews.

    Posted on Reply
    • uh says:

      Nobody was hating on Jews, keep your “anti-semitism” cries to yourself, bitch. Hating on Israel for being an apartheid state and an occupier doesn’t make me anti-semitic. As a Jew, I would know.

      Posted on Reply
      • betch says:

        lol too bad it only occupied the land in a defensive war

        Posted on Reply
      • tlvbetch says:

        “apartheid state” Yeah I bet you table with all your non-betchy ignorant hipster friends during “apartheid week,” carrying hemp bags and drinking tap water. Gross.Israel is not an apartheid state. Why? 20% of Israel’s population is Arab Israeli. Every single one of them has the same exact rights as Jewish Israelis.

        HA “As a Jew, I would know”. Oh my god likeee why didn’t you say that before? You’re Jewish?? You must like know everything about Israeli politics then.

        Betches come to TLV it fucking rocks I’ve been here for the past year, never leaving.

        Posted on Reply
        • IsraeliHot says:

          A-fucking-men. This girl probably gets all her “information” from her poor loser wannabe civil rights lobbyist, clog-wearing hippy friends with ew - scholarships - a given because none of the JABs at her school wanted to be her friend. Hunny please don’t hate on your people because nobody from the tribe invited you to pregame during Welcome Week in freshmen year and you were forced to #117 branch out. Maybe the scene just hates you so much because you’re an unlikable, misinformed little shit with bad split ends and too chunky cankles for coordinated halloween costumes.

          If you had any inch of respect for your people you would make sure to get yourself educated on the subject which you AHB-viously didn’t do, but again who can blame you when your source of information is clearly poor and unjustly anti-Israel. Israel is THE most free country in the entirety of the Middle East. ALL citizens of Israel - doesn’t matter what kind - Jews, Muslims, women, homosexuals, etc have more human rights then ANY other country in the Middle East. Unlike the rest of the governments of Middle Eastern countries unfortunately believe, Israel doesn’t share the same view that your family has the legal right to kill you if you are gay; Israel doesn’t share the same view that you can’t drive a car or have the right to vote if you’re a woman. Israel is not only the betchiest and most technologically modern country in the middle east, it’s also the most caring towards people of all races, nationalities, genders and orientations. To counter against any arguments your poor hippy friends will preach to you because they read about it on the disgraceful Huffington Post, the reason why more people are reported killed from bombs in Gaza is because Hamas does not take care of their people there. Mothers there have no problem sending their children out in the street with a bomb strapped to their backs to blow themselves up in the name of “Jihad” - their holy war. Consequently the Israeli government sends out leaflets via the air to all Palestinian civilian territories hours before they bomb Hamas-controlled parts so they can kill TERRORISTS, not civilians. The IRON DOME in Israel is what has stopped so many Israelis from being killed my rockets fired from Hamas. Israelis have 15 seconds to run, which no-isn’t much time at all but is certainly better than doing nothing like Hamas. They have a system and for the most part it has been proved extremely effective. The Israeli military has created bomb shelter evacuations for all of their State - they have made it the utmost of importance to protect their citizens of Israel - both Jews and Palestinians, the religion doesn’t matter to them. What matters is they have protected their people…I don’t see Hamas protecting their people like that. I don’t see Hamas taking care of wounded Jews in their hospitals like Israel does for their Palestinian citizens. I see Hamas going on Gazan-broadcasted television stations and declaring their goal is to whipe Israel off the map and exterminate the Jews. Because they are TERRORISTS. They can’t be rationalized with. They aren’t sane human beings. They are militant facists and they do more harm to both Gaza AND Israel then good. Israel isn’t killing innocent Gazans. Israel is defending herself - the government is simply making sure they aren’t being wiped off the map like Hamas openly states. And I’ll be damned if someone says that Israel doesn’t have any right to defend themselves from enemy attacks. They have every single right to do so. Think before you speak, dumb bitch.

          Posted on Reply
          • Love it! says:

            Amen sister!!! People are so ignorant…Israel is the best country in the world by far! If any of these people who are posting negative comments only realized that as women they are considered inferior in any of those other countries they are “supporting”. Why do people chose to focus their negative engery on Israel, which is a country trying to defend it’s people and only targets terrorists, when right next door in Syria a dictator is killing thousands of innocent people and in Iran you can get put to death for being raped….

            Posted on Reply
          • LovethisBetch says:

            I love when betches educate bitches! You make me proud!


            <3Israel

            Posted on Reply
  8. Say what? says:

    No weed?  Hahahaha. Tel Aviv has more weed than Mexico City.

    Posted on Reply
    • you are an idiot says:

      They have shitty hash. Weed is scarce and expensive in most of Israel

      Posted on Reply
  9. JAB says:

    OMG finally I was waiting for this, Tel Aviv is the best. Getting an apartment there over the summer is a must.

    Posted on Reply
  10. yes! says:

    mizrahi israelis guys are WAY HOTTER than american ashkenazi jews.

    Posted on Reply
  11. advice says:

    i know betches are supposed to be rich and all….but if you’re trying to save money then go to aqaba istead of eilat.  same thing.

    Posted on Reply
  12. girl with a brain says:

    ewwww are you kidding me? Fuck Israel…I’m down with Palestinian betches who know that Israel didn’t even exist prior to 1948 before they weasled their way into the UN and received some bullshit false statehood. #PLO reppin sexy palestinian betches are where its at…netanyahu can suck a dick RIP Yassir Arafat <3

    Posted on Reply
    • JAB says:

      Why aren’t parts of Egypt (sinai peninsula) and all of Jordan not being demanded back, even though both (combined with modern Israeli territory) comprised the province of Palestine? Oh right, because Arabs run them and not Jews. And no Arab does not equal Palestinian.. And no they have no rule in either Jordan or Egypt. Read a fucking book.

      Posted on Reply
    • girl with an actual brain says:

      lol there already is a Arab state in 3/4 of the former British Mandate of Palestine sweetie… it is called (The Hashemite Kingdom of) Jordan! woo

      Posted on Reply
  13. ISRAEL says:

    um women have rights in israel…. and tel aviv is the betchiest city of the middle east

    Posted on Reply
  14. ^ agreed says:

    The only reason jews got Israel was because they were being murdered by the millions and needed a safe place to live. And now it’s the most advanced city in the middle east. And the only one where short shorts, tans, bikinis, and getting blackout is a way of life.

    Posted on Reply
  15. THANK YOU says:

    um i’m sorry when did betches become a fan of fucking oppression? Sorry i want to be able to show off my cleansed bikini boddy and actually have rights, which is fucking impossible anywhere else in the middle east. So why don’t you go to Israel shop, get tan, and blackout. Or you can go wear a burka and not be allowed to look at men. Either way.

    Posted on Reply
    • Jess says:

      it’s not “fucking impossible” considering the Med Sea is also in Lebanon. and with arguably betchier beach venues. Tel Aviv is an amazing city, but Betches this post was a fail starting with the first sentence- calling Israel the “only” chic country in the entire Middle East. The sarcasm is my favorite part of this site, but that was just ignorant.

      Posted on Reply
      • Tel Aviv says:

        Agreed. Tel Aviv is the betchiest city in the middle east. So maybe some parts of Lebanon, what about anywhere in Palestine? Yeah ok I’m just going to drive over to the beach in my bikini and meet some hot pros. Oh wait, women driving is illegal, so is not wearing a fucking burka, and so is looking at men. Whoops.

        Posted on Reply
        • Get your facts straight says:

          Firstly, women driving is only illegal in Saudi Arabia, where the majority of women have drivers to take them wherever they want anyways. Secondly, who says we can’t look at men? Stop generalising an entire race of people you clearly know nothing about, and stick to tanning and meet hot pros lol cause that’s like all there is to life right? smile Get real dumbass.

          Posted on Reply
          • OhHotJAB says:

            I’m sorry you’ve been living under a rock your whole life sweetheart, but out here in America, us betches roam free. We can drive wherever the fuck we want and wear whatever the fuck we want and we’re a hell of a lot happier not being beaten by our husbands for showing our faces to the outside world. And um last time I checked, the entirety of the Middle East was misogynistic. That might be the norm to you, but to us, its prehistoric. We’re not generalizing an entire race of people. We’re presenting the cold, hard facts. One of my main betches’ families actually fled Iran 20 years ago because her mother was attempted imprisonment and was given 60 lashes for not wearing a hijab. Needless to see they’ve embraced America (the land of the free) since, and they haven’t looked back. I’ve heard all the horror stories. They tell me how luck I am to be born a Jewish American betch.

            http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/6596933.stm

            Posted on Reply
            • Teach someone else says:

              No need to post a link to a BBC article informing me about my own country’s oppression. I’m actually Iranian myself and one has first-hand knowledge about their oppressive fundamentalist Islamic rules as I go there twice a year. This isn’t about pointing the finger at one country’s rules, it’s not the people’s fault that the government is trying to force these rules down our throat. But to say that women can’t look at men and that all the Middle Eastern men hate their women is a huge generalisation. Are those horrible stories you may have heard what is actually going on in Iran today? Yes, possibly. But there are men all over the world who abuse their women, and this is not what Islamic law teaches men to do. Islam is about protecting your women, and if that means covering yourself to avoid facing rape and what not in such third-world countries then so be it. Who are you to question that? Unless you’ve been to the country, seen everything and make a judgement about it then you could at least say that it is indeed messed up. But to sit back in America and generalise all Middle Easterns based on “horror stories” you heard from Iranian friends who haven’t even experienced the new regime lately themselves, doesn’t justify those generalisations you are making. Cold, hard facts are different from over-exaggerated subjective claims.

              Posted on Reply
  16. TEL AVIV says:

    Betchiest city. Had the time of my life, got blackout everyday, went on a cleanse, met hot rich bros, went to the beach in a bikini, and shopped. The only place in the middle east that you could ever do that. Betchiest city every. And everyone is really fucking skinny, no burkas to hide under.

    Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      Oh right, cause hiding some weight under a burka isn’t nearly as bad as running around in short shorts with a beak sticking on the side of your face. If you’re going to generalise, that’s what you’re going to get. Oh and, clearly you must not have heard about Lebanon and UAE.

      Posted on Reply
      • israeli says:

        a beak? HA…. tel aviv has the sexiest women in the world. lebanon has…...yeah no, sorry.

        Posted on Reply
        • Your Name says:

          Only a fugly israeli would say something like that. I was simply making a point that generalising can go both ways, so don’t say it if you don’t want to hear it. Beautiful women are everywhere in the world, beautiful and clever ones not so much clearly…

          Posted on Reply
  17. Tel Aviv says:

    For those people saying it’s not glamorous, clearly your hanging out at the fucking wrong places. If your a real betch, you know Tel Aviv is where it’s out. Amazing hotels, nightlife, shopping, guys, and tanning

    Posted on Reply
  18. Zionist JAB says:

    Um, Eilat is the Miami of Israel, not the Jersey Shore of Israel. But thank gawddd you finally posted this…love Aroma but hate not being able to get a real iced coffee!

    Posted on Reply
    • TELAVIVI says:

      עם ישראל חי

      Posted on Reply
  19. telavivbetches says:

    your obviously not a true betch if you’d rather go to some other middle eastern country where no one has any rights and can’t fucking do anything
    ISRAEL=JABS=THE BEST

    Posted on Reply
  20. iZZY<3 says:

    jabs’ We might be betches but you haters r bitches-  dont make everything political, Israel is an amazing place , go write about whatever city you like and leave us israel lovers in PEACE

    Posted on Reply
  21. JAB says:

    Ok you bitches* who say anti-semitism doesn’t apply turn on a tv in Palestine. But you’re probs right. A kid show about a bunny teaching children that the dirty Jewish pigs deserve to be blown up isn’t anti-semetic. And yes they say Jews and not Israelis or zionists. And if it wasn’t about “the Jews,” why aren’t parts of Egypt (sinai peninsula) and all of Jordan not being demanded back, even though both (combined with modern Israeli territory) comprised the province of Palestine? Oh right, because Arabs run them and not Jews. And no Arab does not equal Palestinian.. And no they have no rule in either Jordan or Egypt. Read a fucking book.

    Posted on Reply
  22. danny says:

    I bet this article got more comments than usual. The reason is that there are 1.5 billion Muslims in the world who are full of so much hate.  The 100 terrorists killed by Israel last got more coverage than the 800 Syrian civilians murdered by their own army during the same time.

    Posted on Reply
    • zionist betch says:

      too true. the disgusting way that hamas, syria, or any other muslim fanatic government treats their own people is not betchy…

      Posted on Reply
    • jj says:

      could not agree more! woo

      Posted on Reply
    • rr says:

      danny you are so right. and i don’t understand how people can believe everything they see on tv. israel and the idf are the good ones here. go israel!!

      Posted on Reply
      • Delusional says:

        Israel the GOOD ones? Either you’re being sarcastic or you’re just a straight up dumbass. Who do you think is covering those stories, brainwashing people all over the world into thinking those 1.5 million Muslims are all full of hate? Brainwashing everyone around the world into thinking the Israeli government is doing justice by eliminating terrorists, when they are the ones to blame. Oh that’s right, Israeli-owned media corporations. But then again, you are one of those people who believe everything they see on tv.

        Posted on Reply
        • crazed says:

          Lol at ‘Israeli-owned media corporations’

          You can just go ahead and say what you think, ‘Jew-owned media corporations’
          At least be honest. . . .

          Posted on Reply
          • Again, delusional. says:

            Oh I’m sorry, please do tell me how you can justify “israel being the good ones”? I’m not the one that needs to be honest here.

            Posted on Reply
        • mark says:

          youre right… all muslims arent terrorists. but it just so happens that all terrorists are muslim

          Posted on Reply
          • Get a fucking education. says:

            Lol that may be the most un-educated comment i’ve seen on the internet thus far.
            All terrorists Muslim? You must have gotten that from Fox News, dumbass.

            Posted on Reply
  23. Beirutbetch says:

    I completely agree that Israel is an amazing place to party and visit, but it’s kind of uncool I say it’s the only chic country in the Middle East. I lived in Beirut last year and life doesn’t get much more chic- everyone is always looking their best and getting black out at the most fabulous clubs and bars. Dubai is also the shit, it’s so glamorous and fun, Betches need to get their shit straight about the Middle East- dpnt let the majority of repressed and backwards countries in that area fool you.

    Posted on Reply
  24. LoveMyJABs! says:

    If you araBITCHES love “palestine” so much then maybe you should move there and help out with the “palestinian plight.” You know, maybe strap a few bombs on some preschoolers, kidnap and behead American reporters, assist in the public stonings of homosexuals. Hopefully you’ll meet a nice Arab man who will “honor” beat some sense into you. And maybe if you’re REALLY lucky you’ll even get a free tour of Gaza, compliments of Hamas and their human/corpse-dragging motorcycles. So glam!

    Bombs + Burkas = SO unbetchy.

    LOVE Israel and this post! Good job betches!

    Posted on Reply
    • RaelBetch says:

      Well said! Israel not only has the hottest people in the Middle East, but they are also the most free. And everyone knows, free betches are the best betches (AKA we can show our bodies and speak and vote). Oh yeah, and it’s actually legal for women to drive in Israel, which is really conducive to getting from the mall to the beach etc. etc. Israelis/Tel Avivians are bombshells, they don’t strap BOMBS onto their children like in your hell hole countries. The only betch that would ever step foot into one of your god forsaken countries would be NO BETCH, EVER. The only credit I could give to Israel’s un-betchy Arab neighbors would be that it’s because of their incessant rocket attacks/vitriolic hatred that propels Israelis to live every day to the fullest and NEVER STOP PARTYING!!! WOOO

      Posted on Reply
      • Calm down. says:

        So many fallacies in just one paragraph. Get this straight, Israel’s are “free” at the EXPENSE of another minority’s rights so take it down a notch with your freedom illusion. Secondly, you are so ignorant if you believe the other countries are hell holes and strap booms onto their children. Stick to partying you idiot, that’s all you’ll ever be good for. While the rest of us middle eastern women have drivers to take us everywhere, you’ll be stuck in gross traffic wishing you weren’t so povo.

        Posted on Reply
        • Driving Ms. Daisy says:

          I’d rather drive myself around then rely on third country nationals that are basically treated like slaves and have no rights. Slavery is like so yesterday

          Posted on Reply
          • Your Name says:

            If you’re so concerned with rights, look into the thousands of Palestinian civilians being denied their basic human rights every day for decades. Not only are they not receiving any compensation, but are losing their lives and the lives of those they love in the process.

            Posted on Reply
            • says:

              Is this Israel’s fault? They are concerned about the innocent civilians too, but they’re dealing with a terrorist organization. Maybe the innocent civilians should stop voting for terrorists to lead them….

              Posted on Reply
              • Lol. says:

                They ARE the terrorists. If you knew anything about the history of their ongoing war, you would know Israel could care less about the wellbeing of Palestinian civilians. If they truly did, they wouldn’t be having this problem to this day and terrorists aren’t just there to cause havoc, they’re there for a reason.

                Posted on Reply
  25. C says:

    What about Dubai !!!

    Posted on Reply
  26. love it! says:

    This article was amazing betches, but I have to say that there is NO good sushi in Israel. Seriously.

    Posted on Reply
      • hi says:

        i totally forgot about that place but it is soo damn good!!

        Posted on Reply
  27. SDBETCHHH says:

    all you lil brown fucks are actually out of your brown minds insulting israel!! I’m sorry but what kind of terrorist drugs are you smoking on to come and talk shit about the promise land as if you know ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING. and sorry but whatttttttt party in dubai? or in saudi arabia? LMAOOOOO have fun in ur chanel hijab covering ur whole entire body/head/face! you a st00pid hoe

    Posted on Reply
    • betch says:

      please die now. thanks.

      Posted on Reply
    • ^ says:

      You’re not Nicki Minaj. Lay off the drugs and try to at least hide some of your idiocy, you could end up seriously embarrassing yourself again.

      Posted on Reply
  28. KlassyL says:

    Political arguments on online forums are unbetchy. Israel Haters, STFU and get off this site. You aren’t betches. This article was fucking FABULOUS. Many props.

    Posted on Reply
  29. Whatever. says:

    Beirut is still the betchiest…

    Posted on Reply
    • Beirut<3 says:

      Agreed. Beirut = Betchiest.
      And that’s in comparison to partying in LA and NYC for many years.

      Posted on Reply
  30. yes says:

    I WISH AMERICAN JEWISH BOYS COULD LOOK LIKE SEXY OLIVE SKINNED ISRAELIS

    Posted on Reply
    • Amen says:

      Israeli boys all the way

      Posted on Reply
    • seriously! says:

      why are they like all skinny white boys here?

      Posted on Reply
      • Yummy_Prosciutto says:

        Plenty of sexy Sephardic guys in the US also.  More so in LA than NYC.

        Posted on Reply
  31. thatbecray says:

    the CATS thank the great betch in the sky that you mentioned them they are everywhere!
    seriously if you ever go to Israel document every cat you see. i wanted to make a livejournal of it, but i forgot cause iwas too busy getting wasted

    Posted on Reply
  32. rr says:

    Benedict’s is the best restaurant!!! LOVE THIS ARTICLE AND ISRAEL!

    Posted on Reply
  33. M says:

    Isreali men are hot as fuck. It’s enough reason to go !!

    Posted on Reply
  34. Calm down. says:

    So many fallacies in just one paragraph. Get this straight, Israel’s are “free” at the EXPENSE of another minority’s rights so take it down a notch with your freedom illusion. Secondly, you are so ignorant if you believe the other countries are hell holes and strap booms onto their children. Stick to partying you idiot, that’s all you’ll ever be good for. While the rest of us middle eastern women have drivers to take us everywhere, you’ll be stuck in gross traffic wishing you weren’t so povo.

    Posted on Reply
  35. ...really? says:

    um whoever claims that israel is “unbetchy” is clearly delusional. does herziliyah ring a bell? only the most beatiful beaches and expensive homes. it’s known to be the “beverly hills” of tel aviv. and a ton of wealthy european families own summer holiday homes there.

    Posted on Reply
  36. Sara says:

    You guys for real? Beirut is the Paris of the Middle East. These woman are so up on Betchiness they put the rest of the Middle East to shame. Israel included. I’d like to see someone compile a Beirut post and also maybe do some research before your next post.

    I get you think ignorance is super betchy, but it’s really not. Looking like an idiot only does one thing—it makes people think you’re an idiot.

    Posted on Reply
  37. LaughCried at this Post says:

    Politics aside, you betches who wrote this post are Goddesses among nashim. This is spot on. Could have come from my drunken collection of iPhotos. Let’s stop hating on each other and remember how sweet the Tony Vespa pizza is a shalosh AM in the morning, and how every bro named Dudi wanted to marry you. It’s hard to hate when there’s a male hairdresser telling you in a thick accent that you remind him of Fergie.

    Posted on Reply
  38. Traveling Betch says:

    Perfection: Dress slutty & look men in the eye.

    Posted on Reply
  39. lebabetch says:

    israel may be the best party vacation in the middle east, but lebanon is the most exciting. dat feeling of sudden death was perfect for me and my american non arab betches. will we go back there…. ina few years lol

    Posted on Reply
  40. betches says:

    ew jabs. grossss

    Posted on Reply
  41. Aeldra says:

    We cherish renting vacation cottages. Since we appreciate cooking for ourselves (in the wake of investigating nearby supermarkets, rancher’s markets, and so forth.), we frequently carry our most beloved blades, cutting sheets, skillet and flavors along when we lease a cottage. Obviously, this works best when you’re driving instead of flying, yet I’ve been known to put cooking utensils into my checked gear.
    vacation rental tel aviv

    Posted on Reply
  42. CalebMorrison says:

    Tel Aviv is a best city of Israel that combines the modern creations along with the golden beaches and magnificent natural aspects surrounding it. Its tourism has achieved amazing prosperity with the superb development and growing distinctiveness, the city has grown with. The golden beaches are surrounded by good boutique hotels like http://www.shenkinhotel.com/?categoryId=93091 that brings wonderful experiences to its journey. The prominent history and the mixture of diversified cultures give vivid experiences that any tourist would love.

    Posted on Reply
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