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By The Betches on

Soo in an interesting scandal, Casey Anthony Amanda Knox has been acquitted of killing some British chick and is finally returning from her 4-year semester #3 abroad to the grand old USA. Apparently the media are now calling her Foxy Knoxy, but we're not afraid of giving her they name they were obviously dying to give but couldn't: Cocksy Knoxy. Welcome home bitch...

Honestly, for all the betches who have written to us saying she should be Betch of the Week, the suggestion of murder just isn't that betchy. And possibly getting away with it involves a lot of cleanup, aka work for Maria.

amanda knox trialThe only thing I'm guilty of is eating pasta on my #5 diet!

It's unclear if she did it, and like we've said before we #2 don't keep up with the news and didn't see the Lifetime movie, because Lifetime is for nice girls and people who watch Pan Am. It's like, whatever, we hope she didn't do it. Though she has the stare and #41 fake smile of a killer.

Wikipedia tells us that the prosecution's first theory about the murder involved a Satanic ritual orgy. We get that you're a #7 BSCB Amanda, but chill with that. No one wanted to fuck any of those girls in "The Craft" anyway, proving that magic will not get you laid. However, this story definitely reminds us that picking a normal #85 freshman roomie is more than a matter of life or social death. Whatever, it all sounds too fucked up to even fully go into and honestly I'd rather spend my time back-stalking myself on Facebook.

So anyway, this bitch obviously got off because she was pretty. She manipulated the Italian judicial system without even speaking the language at first. And look, she'll never have to work a day in her life because she's a questionable murderer/pseudo-sex fiend whose parents are rich enough to hire a PR firm. Honestly, her next move should be to marry OJ Simpson. They'd be a huge power couple before one of them kills the other.

amanda knox trialI can't believe I'm really doing lifetime movies

We don't really recommend being tried for murder as way to get out of having a career but even Donald Trump wants to make bank off of her now. Trump previously called for a US boycott of Italy until Miss Knox was freed. Alright Donny, we know you want to fuck her, but try to focus your efforts on what you're good at, like trying to make the comb-over happen and getting over the fact that you're not the US Attorney General who can initiate boycotts.

As Trump later stated, "She went to Italy to learn the language. Well, she learned the language.” Sorry Mandyhunny, should've kept your Italian language within the confines of the words the rest of us abroad betches knew. Dove si trova il negozio Prada?

 

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49 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. sd says:

    Why isn’t Pan Am betchy? The girls get to travel abroad anywhere they want and they are spies.
    Also, her parents are poor. She sucks. They spent there entire life savings on this case, but I bet People will pay her thousands for an interview.

    Posted on Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    This pretty much sums up all my thought on this. Great post betches. We need a post on hating lifetime movies please!

    Posted on Reply
  3. betchadelphia says:

    Pan Am isn’t betchy because the premise sucks. Think more along the lines of Playboy Club.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    She’s not pretty at all. Ew. Once again, I’m doubting the people who write this site… if you think she’s pretty you must be really fucking ugly

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    you just don’t know it yet wink

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    really? This girl was almost convicted of murder I dont see how this is ‘betchy’. Just seems disrespectful to me

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    they said she was pretty, not a bomb shell, ctfo.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Lauren says:

    I was a fan of this site until this post. This post is TOTALLY disrespectful. Amanda Knox was wrongfully convicted of murder in a foreign country and lost four years of her life for a crime where there was no evidence that she was involved in it. Here parents spent their life savings to help their daughter get free. Have some respect.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    calm down. the betches are all in good fun. if you cant laugh about an #abroad betch scandal then what can you do?

    Posted on Reply
  10. LaLa says:

    “and possibly getting away with it involves a lot of cleanup, aka work for Maria.”

    um, what the hell is that supposed to mean? i may be way off, but is that supposed to be some joke about house cleaners being hispanic ? i thought this site was hilarious until reading that…my name is maria…i’m hispanic. well this is awkward

    Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      they consistently refer to the pseudo housekeeper as Maria. racism is betchy, haven’t you heard?

      Posted on Reply
      • umm no says:

        @your Name racism is NOT betchy…hence the awesome #117 token asian betch post…i have friends of all races with trust funds bigger than yours….like the saudis…theirs are probs bigger than all of ours combined…but irregardless you can go shave your back now

        Posted on Reply
        • aMexicanBetch says:

          Irregardless isn’t a word.
          Neither Saudis nor Mexicans are a “race”
          Ask one of your many multicultural friends to buy you a clue.
          Douche.

          Posted on Reply
          • umm says:

            clearly she was referencing mean girls….you are the one who needs to get a clue.

            i know a bunch of saudis as well are they white, black, asian,  pacific islander, or native american…yeahhh didnt think so. what race would u put saudis under?..secondly racism doesnt have to be against a race…it can be against a group of people under a religion, like back during 9/11 people were really racist towards muslims…muslim isnt a race but in the context it still works…go take a social studies class. douche

            Posted on Reply
            • wow says:

              Saudis are Arab. Fucking duh. Go read a book moron, because that’s
              the dumbest effing comment I’ve ever seen.

              None for Gretchen Weiners.

              Posted on Reply
    • aMexicanBetch says:

      Dear Maria,
      House cleaners ARE hispanic. Typically Guatemalan. Just like nannies are Jamaican.
      Sincerely,
      Awkward for who?

      Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    lifetime is betchy. theres a whole channel devoted to laughing at movies and spending any time of the day entertained and not doing #work. though no one wants to admit it, its a betch’s favorite guilty pleasure

    Posted on Reply
  12. c says:

    Oh pleaseee. One of the main reasons amanda got off was because she’s pretty fucking duh. Amanda is pretty much the shit. I mean she’s manipulative, narssacistic, studied abroad, and got her drugs discounted while abroad… 10 points for you amanda knox…You go amanda

    Posted on Reply
  13. P.C. says:

    FYI- being politically correct is NOT betchy

    Posted on Reply
  14. Em Bee says:

    Foxy Knoxy for betch of the week. Betches get away with fucking murder.

    Posted on Reply
  15. <3 says:

    dear maria, if you take offense to this or anything on this website you’re not a betch. also, please remember i like my shirts hung up, not folded.

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    If Playboy Club was truly betchy, it wouldn’t have gotten canceled after three episodes.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Juless says:

    @embee agreeed. I mean some of these jealous BITCHES are callling her fugly… #iwannaseehowyouguyslookafter4yearsinjail

    Posted on Reply
  18. BostonBetch says:

    is pretty betchy. whaddup amanda knox welcome home!

    Posted on Reply
  19. Kattee says:

    &rurl=http://hotbuzz.bloguez.com/hotbuzz/1097773/-amanda-knox&size=37.1+KB&name=Amanda+Knox+»+Hot+Buzz&p=amanda+knox+hot&oid=acc527dd19ffa684112a7dad70ab966d&fr2=piv-web&fr;=&tt=Amanda+Knox+»+Hot+Buzz&b=0&ni=28&no=14&tab=organic&sigr=11ncdm529&sigb=12qnagk7s&sigi=12dtjk9ca&.crumb=JG2VP9dQ06S

    Posted on Reply
  20. jeallll says:

    &rurl=http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1015652/Foxy-Knoxys-jail-diaries-new-evidence-Meredith-murder-case.html&size=33.2+KB&name=Amanda+Knox,+dubbed+'Foxy+Knoxy',+is+at+the+centre+of+the+storm+...&p=amanda+knox+hot&oid=f3fb439218f766b2f7b0a74f2c907701&fr2=piv-web&fr;=&tt=Amanda+Knox,+dubbed+'Foxy+Knoxy',+is+at+the+centre+of+the+storm+...&b=0&ni=28&no=17&tab=organic&sigr=13hufrhhn&sigb=12qnagk7s&sigi=12d9kn1d9&.crumb=JG2VP9dQ06S

    Posted on Reply
  21. Tyler says:

    I agree with Lauren. I get it that you love #2 Not Keeping Up With The News, but this is fucked up. Amanda Knox lost four years in jail for something there’s no evidence she did. Meanwhile, the drug dealer who was convicted of this girl’s murder in 2008 based on strong DNA evidence is barely in the news at all (Rudy Guede, fucking google it) and is going to be free in like 15 years.

    All I’m saying is, Amanda Knox is just a girl who #3 Went Abroad like any other betch. It could have been you or me.

    Posted on Reply
  22. betchinitaly says:

    some of you self proclaimed betches are so obviously not betchy. as a *true* (american) betch living in italy, i have just a teensy bit more insight on this case than most of you do. she obviously didn’t get off because she’s pretty..FUCKING DUH, have you been to italy? do you know how many pretty girls there are everyfuckingwhere?  she got off because she was INNOCENT and there was NO EVIDENCE that she killed meredith kercher.

    another thing- i’m pretty sure being a true betch means being literate and gramatically correct ALWAYS. its spelled n-a-r-c-i-s-s-i-s-t-i-c. fucking moron.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Anonymous says:

    Get real betches. Its not Cocksy Knoxy they’re writing about, its the scandal. Betches love a good scandal, especially one that involves a love-triangle gone wrong.

    Posted on Reply
  24. ifuckinggothereeveryfuckingsummer says:

    For your info i go to fucking Italia every summer. DUMB SHIT. Both of my parents were born there and i’m not some ugly tourist who lives there and pretends to be a true italian like you. I hope you get deported because you don’t deserve to be there. You’re what us true Italians like to call a “Troia.” Vaffanculo figlia di una puttana, fai schifo.

    Posted on Reply
  25. betchinitaly says:

    did you use google translate for that little phrase?  you know that is a literal translation and they don’t even use that term here…retard.

    oh- your parents were born here? so you’re like, totally a true italian!!!!

    sooo kewwwlllllllll hehehehehehe

    Posted on Reply
  26. Imissitaly says:

    They do. I speak fluent Italian, hun. Do you know what ‘‘chupa’’ means? And have you ever shopped at the Conad? Didn’t think so. But this is really stupid, i shouldn’t be fighting on the internet especially with a fellow betch. SO i’m pretty much jeall you’re still there and i have to wait another yearr. Lmfao.

    Posted on Reply
  27. betchinitaly says:

    of course i’ve shopped at the conad. and the carefour..and the auchaun. i LIVE here. io vivo qui! i don’t know why we’re fighting- my first comment wasn’t specifically aimed at you, except for the spelling error, of course. ciao e arrivederci!

    Posted on Reply
  28. sojeall says:

    Quando sei fortunattaa. Magari stavo ancora li ): Have fun living there betch. SO jeall. Drink some extra shots for me? Which reigion are you in? I just got a little defencivee. Let’s totes be penpalsss. lmaoo. Ciaooo e bacciii

    Posted on Reply
  29. B says:

    lifetime movies are only good for a drinking game.

    Posted on Reply
  30. Anonymous says:

    Pan Am is the networks version of Forever 21. A cheap, pathetic attempt to imitate and cash in on what true betches have been born and raised to make their lifestyle. Beautiful, well dressed girls who sip martinis and have pros adorning them with compliments and gifts? That’s the fucking life we live. Why would we appreciate something that has been watered down and given to the masses?

    Posted on Reply
  31. Hot betch says:

    Wtf?? Who are these betches that think this chick is pretty?? If she’s pretty then I’m fucking gorge.

    Posted on Reply
  32. betchinitaly says:

    adesso io sono a napoli…and lucky for me i have the hottest (and biggest) italian sausage inside of me for 3 hours a day!

    Posted on Reply
  33. NYC Betch says:

    Betch went from a size 6 to a size 0 in prison…. Well fucking played. At least girlfriend recognized that if her photo was going to appear all over the planet with no possibility of having access to makeup, a blow-dryer, or expensive beauty products, she better look fucking skinny.

    Posted on Reply
  34. Camm says:

    Pan Am is definitely betchy. Watch the end of the first episode and try and say anything otherwise.

    Posted on Reply
  35. Zhunny says:

    mandyhunny… i die. thanks for the throwback betches

    Posted on Reply
  36. a betch says:

    seriously. I understand that betches don’t follow the news, but if they’re going to write about it, maybe they should… xoxo

    Posted on Reply
  37. Em says:

    She’s obvs not a bombshell but she looks pretty fucking good for being in prison for four years. I’d like to see what some of you would come out looking like.

    Posted on Reply
  38. scouse says:

    Fucking murdering yank bitch gets off with it. Filthy evil rotten cunt she is.  Should fuck her with a red hot poker the murdering filthy slut. Fuck you all for trivialising this your country is completely fucked and so are you.

    Posted on Reply
  39. Anonymous says:

    Fucking ridiculous how the American media spun this case… to every other country it was APPARENT she is guilty.

    Posted on Reply
  40. As if says:

    She wasn’t aquitted because she was pretty, she was convicted because she was pretty. So the press took her picture and ran with it. But really, who wants to look at some ugly fuck’s picture in the newspaper everyday, even if they are an accused killer. Also she’s obviously innocent, she admitted that she wasn’t with her roommate that night because she was out smoking weed with some Italian bro. Cannabis has THC, THC makes you relax, and relaxed people don’t kill their roommates. They just don’t.

    Posted on Reply
  41. uh says:

    it’s not that she’s pretty, it’s that she’s a middle class white American college girl. simple as that. White privilege. Even if she wasn’t good looking (which I don’t think she is) it doesn’t matter. She’s young and white and American and has a “promising future.”
    It would be the same with a white guy, hence the Ohio rape case. CNN pitied the fact that the two white guys were “great football players” and “lost their future” and made them out to be the victims instead of the rapists, and the victim was barely even mentioned. white privilege.
    I’m white and I am fully aware of white privilege. Take a sociology or psychology course besides Introduction 101 and you’ll know that it’s accurate.
    Secondary, most of you are idiots. Clearly, the betches were kidding about this whole article.  Take a fucking Xanax and learn to recognize satire. This whole website is satire, their book is satire, half of the Internet is fucking satire. Cut your internet connection if you have a problem with sarcasm. Better yet, live under a rock and don’t associate with anyone. Or you can learn to take a fucking joke and live in the real world.

    Posted on Reply
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