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By The Betches on

A rite of passage for every high school betch is choosing where she wants to go to college. Now as you know, the plethora of college crap out there from Kaplan to Newsweek will rank schools based on retarded shit like average SAT scores and the range of after-class activities that you would never fucking do. We’re here to give you the information you’ll really need to know when choosing where to spend the next four years, or merely reflect on the good times.

We start off Betches Love This College with The University of Wisconsin – Madison, a school which is known for it’s achievements in partying, sports, and cheese.

But first, a lesson in Wisco linguistics:

Coasties: Essentially jappy people that are thought to be from the "coasts" but usually this just means places Jews live aka NY/NJ/Boston/Maryland/ Miami/anywhere in California.

Those from Chicago are in their own limbo/subset but can sometimes be categorized as coasties. JAB coasties should look forward to the end of senior year when they’ll make t-shirts and have their own senior bar crawl that is separate from the senior Wisconsin one in an effort to #118 not branch out. In addition you will be in SDT or AEPHI but can also be identified by your lack of giving a shit about it, other than using their formals as an excuses to get dressed up and have multi hour pregames. You’ll also use your insane overload of American Apparel sorority tanks as shit to wear to The Serf whilst admiring the hot athletes that you probably won’t fuck since they’re not circumcised.

Sconnies: Thought to be just Wisconsin people but really this is code for any Christian from the Midwest/Wisconsin (Watch out for Sconnies from Beloit, Eau Claire, and Green Bay). They can be identified by their inability to shut the fuck up about the Packers and their love of their dairy farming major. Also, a Sconnie betch at Wisco can be identified by her blonde hair and her obsession with DG, GPhi or KKG.

Asians: Relatively self-explanatory. The Wisconsin Asians walks around in her kitten heels in the winter thanks to their extraordinary lack of fear of slipping on ice. You can’t sit with them, especially not in College Library, which is open 24 hrs (and don’t even think about asking one of their bros for a ride in their BMW).

During the Day You Should:

• Fall: Wisconsin football season, enough said. Everyone who goes to Wisco can tell you it’s the best time of the year. Saturday football pregames are the most ridiculous from kegs, backyard parties with ice luges and other stuff. There’s nothing like waking up at 8am after a blackout night at Mad Ave to the sound of 'Jump Around' blasting in your apartment and ordering bagels from Gotham (because every coastie knows Einstein's are not real bagels).
• Winter: so fucking cold. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll sit on your couches and smoke all day and order food.
• Spring/Summer: Go to the terrace and chill and tan or find a rooftop party situation

At Night You Should:

Vary your location based on the day of the week. This school does not fucking kid around when it comes to going out and if you don’t watch yourself yourself you could be spending your evening fast food hopping talking to an old man playing the piccolo in an orange jumpsuit.

• Tuesdays: Brats - Flip night, a place to interact with Sconnies but like, barely – At Brats you can text ridiculous shit to a random phone number and then watch the ridiculous texts on a live feed on TV screens.
• Wednesday: Beer and shot night at KK but watch out because you can only get in underage if you’re an athlete/friends with an athlete/have some other connection. Again, there are mad sconnies there but it’s like the best bar in madison and if you’re looking to chill with someone who will likely be a professional athlete in 2-5 years, this is the spot.
• Thursday: Jonny O's  - that’s it.
• Friday: We suggest you refer to it as segredo Mad Ave, and if you don't know that it should be/was called Mad Ave you are 12 years old and/or living under a rock
• Saturday: Ah, the one night with an option. KK or what is now called Logans. Make sure to #5 not eat the $1 pizzas. Also EVERYONE born in the 80s knows the bar is called Angelics and that it is the shit.

If you're like really drunk after going out you'll go to ABar at someones apartment where you'll get even sweatier, drunker, and much much higher.

Where to Live:

• Statesider/Towers as a freshman, even though only Statesider still exists. It’s important to live in 613, 619, 614 or 625 (all in the infamous Landgon street where essentially all the sorority/frat houses are)
• Lucky is pretty much the hotel of Madison where you can party on the roof.
• 613 where you can have backyard ragers.
• A sorority house if you’re Christian or poor.

Special Events Include:

Welcome week/Football season, and Halloween (which is overrated BUT still a ridiculous weekend), and of course Mifflin.

Fuck your birthday, Mifflin is the best day of the year. The weekend of Mifflin includes 3 days straight of day parties, but on the actual day of Mifflin you’ll wake up at the crack of dawn and go to like a backyard/rooftop pregame. Then HOPEFULLY, if you’re not too drunk, or the friend who continuously gets too fucked up to leave the apartments, you’ll make it to the actual Mifflin Street. Few non-native Sconnies can actually tell you the location. Here you’ll encounter blocks and blocks of house parties and people partying in the street and you'll have a 75% chance of getting arrested.

Abroad:

Barcelona, Florence, Rome, Prague, Australia or Israel. That is all.

Schools to Visit:

The only time a normal betch would leave Madison is for an Indiana or Michigan football game.

Spring Break:

Cancun, Acapulco, Puerta Vallarta.

Things To Do Before You Graduate:

• Drink pitchers and sit in colorful chairs at the terrace
• Not eat for a week and then have mac and cheese pizza
• Have sex in the memorial library stacks

Food:

Wisconsin is notable for it’s huge ass range of really good food so you better be able to shed those winter pounds faster than you can walk to the Capitol or consider going elsewhere.

 

Any betch can tell you that the opening of Campus Candy was more life changing than getting into grad school and has absolutely zero shame when it comes to following them on Facebook to find out the daily flavors.

MacTaggarts everything. Best wrap/salad place and all your necessities right in one store. Notice and laugh at the creepy guy with the long black hair who checks your ID's and rings you up behind the counter.

Husnus vs. Med Caf: Girls seemed to like Husnus more especially since they give out the free m&ms. Meanwhile, guys practically live at Med Caf.

Pizza di Roma where there will always a huge line and nitty grittyy power hour and Dotty's for food

Notable late night foods include pokey sticks, Ian’s mac and cheese pizza and JINS for non Coasties where you can encounter an endless line at night.

Most Cultural Thing You'll Experience

Cheese Curds

Drawbacks:

State school, cold, abundance of cheese and beer, Midwest.

 

Think your school is betchy? Email HeadBetches@BetchesLoveThis.com to tell us why!

210 Comments TALK SHIT!
    • Lovin' Wisconsin says:

      By your comment I know that you have not visited.  Come to Madison for a weekend and you’ll be saying that it was one of the best weekends of your life.  Madison summers are great too.  It is non-stop partying, warm weather, swimming in the lake, and again partying.  We are a school that is all about fun.

      Posted on Reply
  1. anon says:

    seriously? wisconsin?

    Posted on Reply
    • Mark says:

      Greatest place in Earth. Try it before you judge it.

      Posted on Reply
      • jenn says:

        literally it is, anyone who says Madison isn’t the shit is obviously an airheaded idiot who’s never been there.

        Posted on Reply
        • The Judge says:

          I agree and would like to say that yes madison is shit.  it’s total shit…

          Posted on Reply
    • sconnie says:

      suck one, anon

      Posted on Reply
    • Madison says:

      Anon clearly doesn’t drink

      Posted on Reply
  2. FAIL says:

    Nothing is betchy about a bunch of fat nice girls with horrible fake hair/tans/clothes and awful accents grubbing on cheese and $1 pizzas with their turbo guys with hair gel and hollister gear in the middle of fucking Wisconsin.  GET WORSE.  Chicago is the ONLY betchy thing about the Midwest - betches don’t eat chedda.

    Posted on Reply
    • badger says:

      you have clearly never been to wisconsin, hahahahaha

      Posted on Reply
    • ... says:

      All of the sconnies live on the other side of state street and nobody ever sees them. Langdon is fucking fantastic.

      Posted on Reply
    • Skinny Sconnie says:

      I go to UW-Madison and am from Green Bay and I certainly don’t have fake hair, a fake tan, or fake clothing.  I also weigh 110 lbs, which I’m guessing is less than you weigh, and I eat all the cheese and $1 dollar pizzas my little heart desires. Jealously is a really bad look.  ON WISCONSIN!

      Posted on Reply
    • ........ says:

      you’re a fucking idiot. and probably ugly too.

      Posted on Reply
    • Ew says:

      So true. Hollister and Abercrombie are considered to be cool and trendy in Wisconsin. Barf.

      Posted on Reply
      • wut says:

        Maybe if you’re like 14 years old…

        Posted on Reply
    • Vandy says:

      Agreed, Vanderbilt is a must.

      Posted on Reply
  3. Seriously says:

    Ever heard of UCLA/USC/Rollins/Trinity/SMU to start?? Fucking Wisconsin cheese eating fat chicks are not betchy?  This writer needs to be fired STAT.

    Posted on Reply
    • Sarah says:

      So you think everyone from Wisconsin is fat? You must be so educated. You clearly know nothing about the school.

      Posted on Reply
        • Yes, do you? says:

          That must be the reason why I was accepted into Wisconsin.

          Posted on Reply
          • Go Badgers! says:

            I go to wisconsin and I can vouch for the fact that there aren’t very many fat people on campus

            Posted on Reply
      • agreed says:

        Seriously? Wisconsin? FLYOVER

        Posted on Reply
    • Yes, seriously. says:

      There is a difference between being a betch and being a bitch.
      Keep that in mind next time you write a post.
      Also, keep in mind how to construct a proper sentence.
      Thanks much!

      Posted on Reply
      • whatever nigga says:

        I have an idea. How about you calm your tits and gtfo.

        Posted on Reply
        • Hahaha says:

          Sooooo much class

          Posted on Reply
    • No, Seriously says:

      I bet you don’t even know where Wisconsin is on a map.  Fucking freak.  Go throw up your breakfast and cry about how you went to a stupid East Coast school without a football team.

      Posted on Reply
    • badger2012 says:

      hahaha wow…I went to Wisconsin, am 100 pounds, and cheese curds are my favorite food. I got accepted to SMU and turned it down because it was only full of stuck up southerners that cannot even speak proper English. Ask anyone, Wisconsin is one of the greatest schools on the planet and one of the most educated with the most alumni as CEOs currently, even more than Harvard. Go Badgers!

      Posted on Reply
  4. umdbetch says:

    do one on university of maryland!

    Posted on Reply
  5. Katie says:

    This is so poorly written and inaccurate…

    Posted on Reply
    • Lex says:

      Actually its VERY ACCURATE AND HILARIOUS. Your stupid.

      Posted on Reply
  6. Bucky says:

    I don’t understand why a betch would go anywhere else.  On, Wisconsin!

    Posted on Reply
    • uhhh says:

      Well if a betch has a brain, Wisco isn’t high on her college application list, sweetheart.

      Posted on Reply
      • Uh... hello. says:

        FYI, Wisco is consistently rated among the top schools in the WORLD. Also, Reuters recently reported that Madison is the most educated American city. Best educated population in the country, honey.

        Posted on Reply
    • jz says:

      Agreed. Come visit UW-Madison, especially during a football game and you’ll understand why we love this place and have so much badger pride!

      Posted on Reply
      • THE JUDGE says:

        Yes come see all the drunks throwing up everywhere…....It is the BEST

        Posted on Reply
  7. BCbetch says:

    This is a super rando choice but I’m glad you didn’t start with an ivy. But seriously, midwest?

    Posted on Reply
    • Badgerfan21 says:

      If you think this is a “super rando choice” then you clearly don’t know anything. Best party school around, hands down.

      Posted on Reply
  8. wisco girl says:

    Except nobody that is from with Wisconsin is actually an agriculture major…totally inaccurate. But the rest is true.

    Posted on Reply
    • dont matta says:

      that is so true. everyone is either a business, biology (medical/pharmaceutical), or anything else major

      Posted on Reply
  9. ny badger says:

    it should be have multi hour PREBARS
    thanks
    ON WISCO BABY!

    Posted on Reply
  10. BADGER says:

    i’m just glad you wrote about my school! there are some inaccuracies, but there’s a reason you picked uw-madison! cheese eating fat chicks? please.

    Posted on Reply
  11. Badger for LIFE says:

    Loved this article! Everything was spot on (except the agriculture majors). Best decision of my life to attend Wisconsin and everyone that hates on this school or the betch that wrote it can suck a fat one. Well done! On Wisconsin!

    Posted on Reply
  12. Halle Berry says:

    I’d go to school with these betches

    Posted on Reply
  13. Senior at Wisco says:

    This is horribly inaccurate. You covered the sorority/fraternity side of this school. You need to branch out a little. There is so much more to this campus than a sorostitutes perspective.

    Posted on Reply
    • Geed says:

      Are you jealous geed?

      Posted on Reply
    • no says:

      betches dont branch out. leave now.

      Posted on Reply
    • frat star says:

      thats the only side of the school that matters/ parties.  this is pretty damn accurate

      Posted on Reply
      • hahah says:

        you people only ever party with each other. try leaving Langdon for once and actually experience Madison.

        Posted on Reply
    • Badger betch says:

      That’s because the Greek portion of UW is the betchy side.  What do GDIs do, hang out at your apartment parties?  Not betchy at all.

      Posted on Reply
  14. Big10betch says:

    Ohio State. Largest in the nation, great education, parties, bars, Greek life, sports tradition and voted #1 fittest college in America

    Posted on Reply
    • irritated says:

      Wisco was voted the #1 prettiest campus in the united states. Wisco was also in the top five parties schools, whereas ohio did not manage to break top ten. More CEO’s of fortune five hundred companies come from Wisconsin than from ivy league schools.

      Shall i keep going?

      Posted on Reply
      • God says:

        checkmate, irritated

        Posted on Reply
      • um says:

        Did I complain that Wisco was mentioned on this list? No. I’ve been there and enjoyed it. I was just offering another suggestion. Jeez! Let’s calm down, please.

        Posted on Reply
      • lol says:

        The poster didn’t say anything to downplay Wisconsin. Chill out and don’t be a bitch, betch.

        Posted on Reply
      • but wait says:

        ole miss was voted hottest school…

        Posted on Reply
    • Fuck O State says:

      Did your school sell its football season tickets in 40 mins?

      Posted on Reply
      • ha says:

        are you fat and from michigan? and why is anyone mentioning sports at all? good for tailgates but otherwise who gives a fuck

        Posted on Reply
        • CheeseCurds says:

          Win or lose, we still booze.

          Duh, betches only love sports for the tailgates, and at the UW the tailgates shut down the streets.  I have never walked into Camp Randall even remotely sober, and never before 2nd quarter.

          Posted on Reply
  15. from WI says:

    Not all accurate and not everyone in Wisconsin is fat but I like the unexpected first choice for a first college to write about.

    Posted on Reply
  16. ECBetch says:

    What’s wrong with a betch from Eau Claire? Certainly not our tolerance or ability to day/binge drink..

    Posted on Reply
    • sad says:

      The only thing wrong with a betch from Eau Claire is that she wasn’t smart enough to get into Wisco. Truth hurts.

      Posted on Reply
      • CheeseCurds says:

        When in doubt, go to Stout.  When all else fails, go to Eau Claire

        Posted on Reply
        • JDaun says:

          When in doubt, go to Stout, if you cant get in there go to Eau Claire haha close though!

          Posted on Reply
          • J says:

            In Menomonie, we say “When in doubt, go to Stout. If not there, then Eau Claire!” But actually, most of my Meno friends are at Madison now.

            Posted on Reply
    • EC! says:

      Seriously. Betches from Eau Claire are the best.

      Posted on Reply
  17. C says:

    College of Charleston needs to be on this list

    Posted on Reply
  18. Caroline says:

    Since when do betches go to public schools?

    If you were going to pick a state school (vom) you should have at least chosen UVA.

    Posted on Reply
    • truth says:

      UVa is by far the betchiest public school

      Posted on Reply
  19. FIB betch says:

    luv wisco more than lyfe… but you’re clearly a coastie which means you only know half of what makes it amazing because of you’re #118 inability to branch out.

    Posted on Reply
    • Alex says:

      Sweetie, you will get far in life. We have the hottest, most down to earth betches at Wisconsin. You’re just a snooty, condescending bitch.

      On fucking Wisconsin.

      Posted on Reply
  20. Cam says:

    The only betchy schools in the big ten are Michigan (smart betches, japs) and MSU (dumber betches, sluts). nice try, though!!

    Posted on Reply
    • BiG TeN says:

      Michigan…yes.  Wisconsin…yes.  MSU…no.  Too dumb, clueless, and ugly.

      Posted on Reply
  21. ECBetch says:

    What’s wrong with a betch from Eau Claire? Certainly not our tolerance or ability to day/binge drink..
    And if you haven’t been to Mifflin you haven’t truely lived. Enough said.

    Posted on Reply
  22. iu says:

    iu is wayyyyyyyyyyyy betchier

    Posted on Reply
    • ew says:

      HELL NO.

      Posted on Reply
  23. A Few Comments says:

    Although Wisconsin is undeniably the greatest school in these United States, I was disappointed to find this article riddled with inaccuracies. First of all, AePhi and SDT are lovely houses, I’m sure, but those two houses are definitely fighting for top spots… at the bottom of the Greek list. This article’s next issue, Sconnies.  Sconnies do not go Greek, that is a fact. They would never try to do something normal, or be socially accepted, so do not be ridiculous. Third issue, LOGANS? Maybe logans would be hot if this was the year of 2010. This article is clearly written by a post-grad. Everyone knows that you only go to Logans if you’re looking to get shot by the local hood rats or maybe catch a nice STD by the riff raff that associates themselves with that bar. Finally, TOWERS is never the move unless you’re an antisocial transfer geed. Honestly, the rest of this article is pretty accurate, Wisconsin is a great time, with great food and amazing people. Come visit and you’ll understand.

    Posted on Reply
    • zeebak says:

      True this.

      Posted on Reply
    • sconnie says:

      amen amennnn

      Posted on Reply
      • Sellery/Witte vs. Statesider says:

        statesider is only for coasties/jews/people from chicago.  Sellery and Witte are for sure the way to go for Freshman year. They’re undeniably the most social dorms

        Posted on Reply
        • Badger betch says:

          Wrong.  No Chicagoan in the right mind would live in statesider.  Lucky is where it’s at if you don’t want to do the dorm room thing.

          Posted on Reply
  24. blue hen betches says:

    university of delaware! come on, we call our library “club morris”

    Posted on Reply
    • fuck yes says:

      Delaware is a ridiculous party school! Do that next!

      Posted on Reply
  25. Sconnie says:

    Mostly true except the agricultural majors - I didn’t know one in my time there.  Love the Eau Claire shout out!

    Posted on Reply
  26. badger says:

    this is great and completely accurate

    Posted on Reply
  27. UW says:

    its called the SERF
    as in
    south east recreational facility
    obvs the betch who wrote this doesnt work out much…

    Posted on Reply
  28. anonymous says:

    No. Just no. Some of the betchiest schools are in the SEC. Not counting Missouri or Texas A&M. They’re new and we are anti branch-out.

    Posted on Reply
  29. DC betch says:

    do one on georgetown!

    Posted on Reply
  30. offended says:

    I fucking love this school for the same reasons mentioned as well as the education and people but the way this is written is extremely offensive. Especially labeling Asians as girls who walk around in kitten heels.

    Posted on Reply
    • algal says:

      WOW you’re so fucking Asian its unreal. You and your strange alien culture who thinks everything in life is a frigin museum exhibit.

      Posted on Reply
  31. GO WISCO says:

    Dead on!  This is amazing and had me laughing the entire way through!  Great job!

    Posted on Reply
  32. ummm says:

    real betches go to better schools then Wisconsin. try doing Penn, Cornell, or Michigan

    Posted on Reply
  33. Oldster says:

    Why is there no going out option on Monday? $1 Wisconsin taps at the Vintage! Even this Coastie can appreciate a pint of Spotted Cow.

    Posted on Reply
    • The Real List says:

      Monday - Vintage ($1 Wisconsin Taps)
      Tuesday - Wando’s then Brats (Flip Night)
      Wednesday - KK (Beer and a Shot Night) or Wando’s (Halfoff fish bowls)
      Thursday - Churchkey ($2 Pitchers of Beer) then Johnny O’s
      Friday - Chasers (Beer and a Shot Night) KK, Logan’s, Wando’s, or Brats
      Saturday - Chasers (Spin Night), KK, Logan’s, Wando’s, or Brats

      This list is better than the one in the article. Anyone who ACTUALLY goes out each day in Madison would know this…still a great article though.

      Posted on Reply
      • Two more... says:

        You only forgot Power hour at Nitty and Sunday pitchers at the terrace. We drink every day of the week. Whoever said Sunday was a day of rest…

        Posted on Reply
      • correct says:

        this is exactly where i go everyday of the week

        Posted on Reply
      • also says:

        Don’t forget the Plaza on thursday’s for $2 long islands!

        Posted on Reply
  34. betch says:

    BINGHAMTON PLEASE!!! smile

    Posted on Reply
  35. I meeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaannnnnn says:

    Wisconsin? Seriously? so many things wrong…beginning with the lack of exclusivity, the prevalence of people from the mid-west, and the high percentage of fat chicks and public school-ers, Wisconsin is far from Betchy. Stop trying so hard; it’s unbecoming.

    Posted on Reply
  36. Sconnie Betch says:

    Love. Definitely some spelling errors (SERF not Surf…), but all in all fairly solid. Wisconsin is definitely NOT full of fatties and parties exponentially harder than any other school.

    Posted on Reply
  37. annon says:

    Indiana University.

    Posted on Reply
  38. ASU says:

    don’t need to say anything more.

    Posted on Reply
  39. betch says:

    this is the greatest and most accurate thing ive ever seen

    Posted on Reply
  40. uhh says:

    big 10 schools are trashy

    Posted on Reply
  41. Dean says:

    This was obviously written by a betch from New York… Your dark hair, large nose, huge sunglasses, north face coat, insincerity, and affinity for cliques is showing.  Cover that shit up please.

    Posted on Reply
    • GBetch says:

      Fucking perf.

      Posted on Reply
  42. Cal Poly says:

    Please do one on Cal Poly SLO, full of hot betches and pros.

    Posted on Reply
    • mustang says:

      are you kidding?!?  slo is full of engineering nerds, and the pros there are hardly pros.  the business school is weak.  and the school is in the middle of fucking nowhere.  like seriously, there’s goats and cows everywhere…smeellllyyyy

      Posted on Reply
  43. hmmm says:

    so many errors in this….KK is not now Logans, all the good bar specials were left out, nobody cares to go to an Indian football game, NOBODY lives at Med Café...just poorly done.  Missed the best that Madison has to offer.

    Posted on Reply
  44. not here for this trash says:

    WOW the day this post got more comments than the one on WASBs was the day this site officially died… newsflash to poor people, just because you’re capable of ingesting alcohol doesn’t make you a betch. there’s more to it than having a vagina and going to a “party school”.

    Posted on Reply
  45. Sconnie says:

    I really hope for Wisconsin’s sake that whoever wrote this did not attend our fine University. The grammar and prose are atrocious.

    Posted on Reply
  46. this is great says:

    I’m not going to lie…I don’t know a thing about Wisconsin or the midwest.  But it sounds like there was a lot of partying (like most colleges) so it sounds like a great fucking school.  The best part of this entire post were the “my school is so much better than your school” and the “this is so innaccurate, I swear we aren’t fat cheese eating girls” fights in the comments.  Face it, everyone thinks their school is better because they don’t know any better.  and every girl eats way too much cheese…you just have to know when to be anny so you don’t get fat.  I went to school at Washington State…and I’m definitely not going to say my school was better than anyone else’s, but it was a fucking great party school…there wasn’t anything else to do.  Party on.

    Posted on Reply
  47. gaucho says:

    do one on ucsb.  it’s definitely the most legit UC as all the others are too full of asians.

    Posted on Reply
  48. Betchybetch says:

    Apparently everyone forgot about all the lovely West coast schools, the only ones who really know how to party. UCSB, Chico, SD, any school really in Cali, then there’s ASU, ULV, cammon. Like seriously, midwest to start off with? Ewu

    Posted on Reply
  49. ivy betch says:

    do cornell, the betchiest ivy
    p.s. real betches don’t anonymously internet hate

    Posted on Reply
  50. True Betch says:

    Awful first pick…The true school a Betch would go to is SMU, SOUTHERN MILLIONAIRE UNIVERSITY. Or Rollins, Vandy, Princeton, USC

    Posted on Reply
  51. badgerbetch says:

    Because all of the girls in the picture are “so fat”....come on, get real people!! Yes, Wisconsin does have fat people, so does the rest of the United States considering our country has the highest obesity problem in the world. Badgers know how to party hard, study hard, and look good doing it!!

    Posted on Reply
  52. Alex says:

    uhm, vom why would I ever want to go to UoW, I don’t even know where the eff that state is, this doesn’t even deserve my highly undivided attention. You guys should have started of with USC, now that’s a betchy school..not U of W, disappointed betches

    Posted on Reply
  53. badgerbro says:

    Dear fellow Badgers, let the haters hate. The people who are insulting our awesome university have CLEARLY never been to Madison. Dear ignorant fucks, first of all not everyone in the midwest is fat- a large portion of the fat midwesterners don’t bother with higher education. Second of all, I can almost guarantee you that our school’s party-to-academic achievement ratio will blow your school’s out of the water. We have an enormous amount of hot girls (especially on Langdon) and guys that will drink your ass under the table along with all of us getting a very solid education. Sorry our school is better than yours- but not really. Plan a trip to UW and see for yourself, then maybe you will be able to form a valid opinion. On, Wisconsin!

    Posted on Reply
    • CheeseCurds says:

      Word. To all the betches who hate - we don’t want you in Madison. You probably couldn’t even make it through 1/2 a drink at Mondays.  To all the betches looking for a good time - you’re all invited to my pre-bar and a-bar

      Posted on Reply
      • YES! says:

        Ha Mondays….Here have a splash of coke with that rum.

        Posted on Reply
      • badgerbro says:

        I never said it was “high” dumbass. I said it would blow your school’s out of the water. Interpret it in any way you want, but the bottom line is that your school sucks and mine is better. Keep hating, bud.

        Posted on Reply
  54. wisco betch says:

    UNREAL FIRST POST so fucking happy wisco was the first college chosen because it DESERVES IT… seriously best school in the country and everyone who keeps insulting it has CLEARLY never experienced it… YEAH WISCO great job betches

    Posted on Reply
  55. Sadie says:

    “gay parties” unless you’re actually talking about actual homosexual parties, that’s out of line. So not PC betches

    Posted on Reply
  56. I even go here says:

    It’s spelled Capitol.

    Statesider is for Jews and Coasties.

    You missed all of the best food.

    Fuck all of you who think we’re fat. Chances are, you’re prissy southern bitches where obesity is not a disease, but a flip of a coin.

    And to you stuck up snobs who think it’s bad because it’s a state school, literally go chug bleach or deep throat the nearest cactus. There is nothing shameful about going to a school that will lead you to be successful.

    Posted on Reply
  57. CheeseCurds says:

    Go BUCKY!  Obviously I’m 100% behind this article, but whoever wrote this was obviously either a Coastie or Greek, therefore, totally biased.

    A - Someone else mentioned this too, but Sconnies don’t go Greek and we definitely don’t live North of State St.  We cram 8 people in a dilapidated 4 bedroom house on Mifflin, or sign a lease a year in advance on the 3rd floor apartment on Dayton, just so we can hang a beer bong off the balcony on football game days.  Beer money > Rent

    B - No mention of Tuesdays at Wandos?  Free bacon and $1 PBR.  Say no more.

    C - There are no words to describe the debauchery of Mifflin.  Let me just mention that the guy in the yellow shirt in the picture?  That’s Patrick Kane.  As in, stanley-cup-winning-first-round-draft-pick-pro-hockey-player Patrick Kane.  He came to Mifflin, and it owned him. 

    D - No mention of Camp Randall? Football Game days?  I think I was blacked out before 11am every Saturday from September to November for 5 years straight. The goal was always to drink enough Friday night to wake up still drunk on Saturday and keep the party going.

    E - I never stepped foot in the KK and I don’t regret that at all.  Sconnie’s don’t Jersey-chase.  Brats, Brothers (RIP), Vintage, Mondays, Angelic, Amy’s, Nitty, The Stadium, Luckys, Jordans… we go where the beer is.

    Posted on Reply
    • BadgerGirl says:

      THANK YOU, you are 100% correct. I was stoked to see this article, but was majorly disappointed with the inaccuracies.

      Posted on Reply
  58. Scott BROlzien says:

    First off, the Tuesday bar is Wando’s. Free bacon and dollar beers. Bacon.

    Second, this doesn’t even do justice to how great our school actually is. All of the kids who think we sound bad after reading this are just being sore losers, but all the Wisco kids reading this are disappointed. Also, it could go for a mention we are one of the top universities in the country academically all while out partying you since 1848.

    Posted on Reply
  59. badger says:

    first of all to someone way up there: the greek system is all that matters so just stop. everyone know its, and if you’re not greek and/or not on langdon, you’re probably odd. it also has basically no wisconsin native people in it… because outside of mequon and whitefish bay i don’t know WHY you’d be from wisconsin. second of all; this school ROCKS. while some things are a tad off, its for sure a great party school no one is arguing that. its girls and guys have consistently been given A’s in rankings, and it tops party school lists since… forever? and then the lake…. just gives wisco the upper hand. on wisconsin, and viva KK

    Posted on Reply
    • iloveUW says:

      That is completely inaccurate.  The greek system is definitely not all that matters and it is really not that big.  So I don’t really know what your talking about….......

      Posted on Reply
    • Milwaukee? Ew says:

      Whitefish bay is gross.  Near the ghetto, and those kids are middle class at best.  I’m so tired of Milwaukee pretending to be betchy because it’s just NOT

      Posted on Reply
    • SororityBetch says:

      Even as someone in one of the sororities mentioned in this article, Greek Life is not all that matters here AT ALL.  Also, Whitefish Bay is just as middle class and annoying as the rest of Wisconsin.  GET OVER YOURSELVES.

      Posted on Reply
  60. Yup says:

    People that hate on state and public schools are sadly misinformed. More Fortune 500 CEOs went to UW than any other school. You see, it’s a badger that decides to hire or fire your ass.

    Posted on Reply
  61. go gate says:

    Colgate soon? Number one social drinking school….party six days a week, saturdays dedicated to day drinking in every season, and quite possibly the highest amount of post-graduation success for the lowest amount of work done in the country.

    Posted on Reply
  62. UW4L says:

    This article is spot on except for their portrayl of Sconnies. They are talking about clueless rural Wisconsinites, who populate all the rando bars and real estate. “Sconnie” actually extends to mean “Not a Jew from NY”. They live in the same buildings and go to the same bars. They are the hot blondes and brunettes from wealthy suburbs of IL, WI, and MN. They are the smokeshows who bartend at KK and Brats, tan in cliques and have perfect bodies. Sconnie also means someone with intense Wisco pride and who is down to earth. Not every Coastie or Sconnie needs to go greek at UW to stay afloat. And there is a lot of Sconnie/Coastie interaction, just usually between members of the opposite sex. Sconnie bros brag about hooking up with Coasties like they are a novelty and vice versa.

    Posted on Reply
  63. Actual Badger says:

    Please leave my school and never return.

    Posted on Reply
  64. badger bro says:

    anyone who says ‘ew, wisconsin’ is definitely a coastie. haha my best advice… stay out in NY and keep ur tights with you

    Posted on Reply
  65. Badger Betch says:

    As a Chicago betch who attends UW-Madison, this is incredibly accurate.  Chicagoans and Coasties NEVER hangout with Sconnies unless they are in Greek life.  I mean, Milwaukee? Fucking ew. 

    Do vanderbilt next.

    Posted on Reply
  66. Bucky says:

    Didn’t even mention that is Patrick Kane wasted on Mifflin

    Posted on Reply
  67. GW says:

    betchiest school…GW

    Posted on Reply
  68. SEC says:

    I meannnnnn…....I guess Wisconsin could be considered a party school, except to anyone who’s ever been to the SEC

    Posted on Reply
    • SEC betch says:

      So true! Do University of Georgia!!

      Posted on Reply
  69. Big 10 says:

    Purdue should be next. Ivy League rep, and the third largest Greek system in the nation. Only downside is it being in Indiana.

    Posted on Reply
    • Haha says:

      Ivy league rep?  hahahahahhaha, hilarious.

      Posted on Reply
  70. Badger says:

    So much insecurity in all of these posts. Going to Wisconsin was the best damn choice of my life, and I don’t need to try and justify it to a bunch of East/West Coast prissy betches or Southern Belles. Don’t knock it ‘till you’ve tried it. On Wisconsin!

    Posted on Reply
  71. IVYBETCH says:

    You bitches can write about state schools and sub par education all day long.
    If you didn’t get into an Ivy, either your parents didn’t have enough money for a decent tutor or you didn’t attend any of the prestigious high schools that have been mentioned on this blog (most recently: Hotchkiss).

    I’m sure Wisconsin is a fun place, but the writers of betties should show a little more consistency.

    Posted on Reply
    • please.. says:

      Oh get over yourself… TTH

      Posted on Reply
  72. Canada says:

    Do a Canadian University

    Posted on Reply
  73. midwest says:

    u of i please!

    Posted on Reply
  74. Real betch says:

    A real betch knows that the University of Wisconsin is PRIME for just about everything we love- free booze, hot boys, etc. Quite possibly one of the most betchy colleges in the world. Some of these comments are hilarious because of the ignorant little girls thinking Madison is “ew”. Like let’s get real girls, you’re ignorant and obvi not a true betch, so give it up. The lack of knowledge within your comments makes that sad truth come out. So shut the fuck up

    Posted on Reply
  75. Badger Alum says:

    There is a reason why Patrick Kane (From the comment above - Let me just mention that the guy in the yellow shirt in the picture?  That’s Patrick Kane.  As in, stanley-cup-winning-first-round-draft-pick-pro-hockey-player Patrick Kane) continuously comes to Madison.  He did not just come for Mifflin, but has been coming, along with a number of other Blackhawk players, to Madison for years now.  It is not because they get tired of Chicago. You really can’t since it is an amazing party city filled with beautiful women.  Yet it is for the fact that Madison is truly amazing and unless have been there you will write it off.

    Growing up on the east coast, all of my friends asked why Wisconsin?  You cannot really put it into words unless you see the place, so that is what I had them do.  I had friends from Maryland, Penn State, Ohio State, UConn etc… all come to visit and their doubts were all silenced. 

    The article is pretty much spot on.  Of course this is bias and of course there are a few errors.  Although I was from the east coast, I went the not so traveled route for a “coastie” and lived with 15 guys from WI, MN and IL on Mifflin. Had one of them wrote this article on the school it would have been told entirely different.  Yet there would be one common theme, we all had the greatest fucking time of our life during those years at Madison. 

    The audience of article is clearly east coast girls so as a badger there is no reason to hate on it.  Everyone has their opinions and we all had different Madison experiences but they were unique and amazing in their own way.  For those people from other schools who hate on us, fuck them.  I am sure they had great college experiences but I go to sleep at night knowing I went to the greatest university in the nation.

    U-rah-rah

    Posted on Reply
  76. what the buck says:

    I’m a guy from Australia and i did a 6 month exchange at UW. The betches were hot as(and aussie has some hot chicks) the parties were unreal, football season rocked my jocks and i would not trade going there for anything. best 6 months of my life. P.S don’t know how i got onto this chicks website but anyway

    Posted on Reply
  77. please says:

    racist, egregious, elitist snobs. went to UW-Madison. thank you for the education, but you bougie betches can kick rocks and nose dive straight into hell with gasoline drawers on and matches between your toes while swallowing a keg of TNT. have a nice day ^_^!

    Posted on Reply
    • ^loser says:

      Yeah, we didn’t enjoy your stay either.

      Posted on Reply
  78. Please says:

    A real betch wouldn’t be caught dead at a state school: she only goes ivy

    Posted on Reply
  79. BAdger senior says:

    Please stay out on the coasts, coastie betches, we dont need more of you. On WISONSIN! GO PACK GO!

    Posted on Reply
  80. LKC says:

    Fairfield.  I’ll write it for you.

    Posted on Reply
  81. Lex says:

    This site is going downhill fast. Bring back the days when betches were rich, stylish, cultured, smart, and exclusive… theres so much more to being a betch than just partying hard, anyone can do that.

    Posted on Reply
  82. badger says:

    ON WISCONSIN. Everyone else can suck it. Betches love WI.

    Posted on Reply
  83. IU says:

    how about writing an article on the #1 party school in the nation, indiana. hoohoohoosiers

    Posted on Reply
    • Badger Betch says:

      You’ve got to be kidding.  The only time IU actually goes hard is for little 5.  You guys are not anywhere near #1 on any list of the top party schools.

      Posted on Reply
  84. Anonymous says:

    I graduated from UW last year, and this is basically a perfect guide of what not to do in Madison (unless you’re a giant douchecanoe).

    Posted on Reply
    • YES says:

      THANK YOU. Somebody speaks the truth.

      Posted on Reply
  85. Tyler says:

    “Drink up betches!!!!”

    -Some white girls while they were partying.

    Posted on Reply
  86. JAB... Solutions! says:

    That was fugging fabulous! Coming from a JAB herself, this is def something i would like to see more of. Maybe like Texas at Austin or UGA. You know?

    Posted on Reply
    • texas betch says:

      it’s all about the southern schools the ones that actually count like UT Austin and Texas A&M

      Posted on Reply
  87. Jay says:

    If you go to Wisconsin, you are probs from Wisco and you’re tacky and I hate you.  And to whoever writes the majority of the Betches Love This posts, you are clearly from a Midwest school and trust me, going to a Big 10 school other than maybe Illinois doesn’t take you very far.

    Posted on Reply
    • WTF? says:

      Are you serious?  Illinois?  As in the University of Illinois at Champaign Urbana?  Are you fucking retarded?  Seriously…..are you?

      You must be.

      Posted on Reply
      • HAHA says:

        ^This. Jay, you are an idiot and just got hazed. Now please shut the fuck up.

        Posted on Reply
  88. Feelings says:

    Betches getting so emotional! ><

    Posted on Reply
  89. Dylan says:

    First of all, I don’t see how an abundance of cheese and beer is a downside. Second, I know no sconnies who are obsessed with the dairy farming major, let alone want anything to do with it. Third, fuck em Bucky.

    Posted on Reply
  90. Lily says:

    Clearly a coastie wrote this….but seriously…Satesider? Towers? #JewFest

    Posted on Reply
  91. UM HELLO says:

    original shopbop betches…and noodles && co

    Posted on Reply
  92. SconnieNationnn says:

    this is tdf! you cant get any fucking better than Wisconsin! the only people who can disagree are the ignorant ones who have never been. anyone who says its full of a bunch of fatties is incorrect. 99% of the betches dont even push 120. the only inaccurate part is about the dairy farming degree….sorry but its all about the business degree. go Bucky! great post!

    Posted on Reply
  93. texas says:

    Why wisconsin over UT Austin? Come on people…

    Posted on Reply
  94. Annons says:

    Indy, Towson, Tampa? All betchy

    Posted on Reply
    • utbetch says:

      AGREEEEEEEEEDDDDD DO IT UP BETCHES

      Posted on Reply
  95. Allie says:

    From Madison and this is dead on haha lmao!! and Madison is not like the rest of Wisconsin just so everyone knows the rest of Wisconsin sucks besides Milwaukee!

    Posted on Reply
    • Mini-Apple says:

      Please. Get cultured, bitch.

      Posted on Reply
  96. yes says:

    georgetown, uva, vanderbilt, gettysburg, roanoke, smu, etc all need to be done

    Posted on Reply
  97. westerngirl says:

    DO THE UNIVERSITY OF WESTERN ONTARIO! Probably betchier than most american universities and no that is not a joke.

    Posted on Reply
  98. WealthyPrep says:

    wisconsin is a PUBLIC school LOL

    PUBLIC SCHOOL

    PUBLIC SCHOOL

    PUBLIC STATE SCHOOL

    Posted on Reply
    • State Schools says:

      Yeah seriously, enough said. Not betchy.

      Posted on Reply
    • ^ Fuck this guy says:

      You’re name is WealthyPrep.  Kill yourself you self-righteous, ignorant, trust fund little bitch.

      On Wisconsin

      Posted on Reply
    • i know what i'm fucking talking about says:

      As someone who was born and raised in Madison by UW alums, I can say this school is amazing.  I currently attend a PRIVATE SCHOOL in Texas.  Love it to death, but am totally jealous of how hard my friends rage practically every night.  It’s also pretty enviable what a good fucking school it is, on par with any private school you attempted to be accepted to, WealthyPrep.

      Posted on Reply
  99. A Betch that Needs Help says:

    Where do you get your nails done in Madison??? This is a major issue. Can a Wisconsin betch please answer?

    Posted on Reply
    • Answer says:

      Alan Koa!

      Posted on Reply
  100. Witte says:

    Fucking Costies

    Posted on Reply
    • Lucky says:

      you are one bitter sconnie.

      Posted on Reply
  101. michigan says:

    YOU NEED TO DO MICHIGAN

    Posted on Reply
  102. allie12 says:

    You’re so funny! I get it you’re all about making some points and building some parodies but when it comes to schooling I think we should all take it serious. It’s true, there’s so much diversity you see in college these days that only by that you can say that learned something useful about the world. School is much more than that though, whether you’re a blond and love pink color or you wear glasses and you’re considered a freak.

    Posted on Reply
  103. BetchyBetch says:

    Learn the difference between “it’s” and “its” before you write another crappy article, tard.

    Posted on Reply
  104. SweetBadger says:

    Any cute girls down for memorial library stacks?

    Posted on Reply
  105. Courtney says:

    CofC needs to be on this list its the SMU of south Carolina but with a lot of old money

    Posted on Reply
  106. lovediscollege says:

    Please start making these again!!!!!!!

    Posted on Reply
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