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By The Betches on

With the release of yet another losery superhero movie The Amazing Spiderman, comic book collectors are lining up to get to see someone whose sole superpower is being pretty and #5 skinny. The scarlet letter in Easy A should've been a B for betch of the fucking week.

Emma makes us laugh. She has a sexy low and husky voice. She is the white Rosa Parks with a book deal. Girl has it all. We thought it was about time we honored Emma before she decides to become a ginger again or style herself as a permmed poodle in The Help 2. We don’t understand why a natural blonde would ever choose to make others question if her pants are on fire but if that's what it takes to become the replacement for a drugged out Linzlo then whatever. Getting her big break in Superbad only 5 years ago, Emma has risen to super fame quicker than a D list celebrity with a sex tape.

We hear Ems is hooksing with Andrew Garfield – Spiderman star and questionable inventor of Facebook. If he had invented Facebook he would've invented Facebook. Did we mention he's British?

But in spite of her new boyfriend Emma is still the ultimate expert at #8 not fucking bros. Sure, it wasn’t that hard in Superbad. However, pretending to be Vivian Ward in Easy A, she gathered a Sears gift card collection to rival any soccer mom. Plus, in Crazy Stupid Love, she was even able to resist and rein in Ryan Gosling’s penis.

Also, athough it isn’t our idea of a sorority, she killed it in House Bunny. She was able to #42 dress like a slut, drink like a betch, and not ruin her career all at the same time. The true meaning of sisterhood.

Finally, although Emma says sweet things in interviews and plays up her nicegirl image for publicity purposes (having the nicegirl name 'Emma' also helps), we hear from sources that she drinks like a Polish soldier. We totally see how this manipulative little girl convinced her parents to let her drop out of school at 14 to pursue her dream of becoming Betch of the Week.

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17 Comments TALK SHIT!
    • Lawl says:

      Wait…this might actually be the best comment ever. Thank you for pointing out that the picture is of Lindsay Lohan and not Emma Stone. Without your Grade A detective skills the rest of us might have never figured it out! I think we might have a genius on our hands…

      Posted on Reply
      • HA says:

        Nice.

        Posted on Reply
    • s says:

      you do realize that they stated she’s replacing Lindsay as the new ginger on the block, right?

      ...fucking idiot…

      Posted on Reply
  1. ok says:

    are you fucking stupid. they wrote right above it that she was the replacement for linndsay lohan and are pointing out that they look the same

    Posted on Reply
  2. Kate says:

    how do i buy the betches love this sunglasses??

    Posted on Reply
    • Rebecca says:

      i want them too!! betches where can we buy them?

      Posted on Reply
  3. Kylie says:

    I fucking love betcheslovethis and love emma stone even more.  But this article? not so much.  what a psych out.  It was boring, hard to read, and not even remotely funny.  please honor Miss Stone and her humor with some humor of your own!

    Posted on Reply
  4. HotRedHead says:

    What the fuck is wrong with being a red head?

    Posted on Reply
    • Ari says:

      You’re a red headed fire crotch, a genetic mistake. “Hotredhead” is the oxymoron of the century and don’t try to take my soul cuz that’s TTH.

      Posted on Reply
      • afdgsfdg says:

        If you’re going to try and insult someone at least make it original and witty.  Ginger/soul jokes stopped being relevant about two years ago.  And you can only have a fire crotch if you have a bush = fucking gross and hopefully she doesn’t have that (if she does I stand corrected).  Get it together betch!

        Posted on Reply
  5. eurobetch says:

    emma and lindsay, isla fisher, vogue’s grace coddington, kate moss, julia and emma roberts—all are definitely betchy, and all have had red hair at one time. also, nicole kidman, julianne moore, cate blanchett, karen elson, amy adams, christina hendricks, kristen dunst, and adele, who is only questionable because her torso is huge, not because her hair is auburn. ok, i’m bored. so fuck listing. i’m sure there’s like a fetish blog. if your insomnia is that fucking bad, you can just google it. my point is, it’s clearly not the red hair that makes an otherwise lovely betch untouchable. it’s the albinism, the terrible freckles they get at beach week, the squinty eyes, even when they’re not high. all that shit that some gingers have

    Posted on Reply
    • ^ says:

      please stop talking.

      Posted on Reply
  6. gingasnaaap says:

    She has a lisp. Not a sexy low & husky voice.

    Posted on Reply
  7. vegas betch says:

    Emma Stone is not and will never be a betch. And as a fellow betch I am disappointed in this fucking post almost as much as I am that Emma fucking Stone was chosen. All the fucks are necessary because you hookers are usually on point. And quit with the fucking tv recaps, I dont give a fuck about The Bachelor or like, any other shows on ABC.

    Posted on Reply
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