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By The Betches on

Throughout our posts, we’ve discussed many different types of besties. From the #7 BSCB to the #48 Dud, it seems like everyone has their role within our group. But what happens, you may ask, when a top betch suddenly changes? What if someone who used to be fun suddenly morphs into a lame, shittier version of herself who suddenly cares about things like her health and doing work? Betches, we all know that girl. Now she's more boring than a first date with a poor guy, but we all remember the days when she Used to Go Hard (UGH).

The UGH is the one who did the 180, who you barely even recognize anymore, who pretty much fucking sucks, which is a shame, because she had soooo much potential.

The UGH is the girl you used to be besties with, who used to rage as hard as the rest of you, used to insist that she get the bong first, dance on tables, and to not give a shit what anyone thought of her. She used to be a top betch. So what happened?

Ninety percent of the time, this betch got a boyfriend. The other ten percent of the time she’s either just gotten out of rehab or became like super spiritual or some shit.

 

happy coupleThe UGH used to love doing white, now she just decorates with it

 

Now it's almost like she died but not really.

So how does one slip into this oblivion of anti-betchdom?

The UGH usually manifests slowly in a non-obvious way. It starts subtly, with her coming to #23 pregames but not drinking, or studying on a Friday. Before you know it, you've turned around and she's subscribed to theknot.com and you find out her boyfriend only thinks that she's had sex with two guys! Gone are the days of her snorting crushed up Xanax and Vicodin on a Tuesday. Suddenly the only thing she's crushing are tomatoes for the Saturday night dinner she's made her boyfriend.

This girl is in betchy limbo. Her subconscious wants her to rage and remembers what it was like to actually have fun, but this is masked with a cover that she’d like to “grow up.” When we were #1 talking shit to our psychologist about her, he said this just comes from the fear that she’ll die alone. Loser.

Now, betches are not anti-relationships. We know that any true betch will maintain her betchy essence with or without a boyfriend. We're not saying that you have to turn into an UGH if you have a boyfriend; we're just saying that it happens. Sometimes we might even encourage a member of our bestie group to become an UGH. When the Dud becomes the UGH, we're happy that someone has finally taken the burden away of having to hang out with her and we welcome the extra couch space.

 

happy coupleMid-UGH transformation... Sign 1: Wearing glasses out

 

When you find that your BFF has taken a turn for the worse and transformed into a frightening, fun sucking UGH, it can be sad but it’s best to let that shit run its course. As a betch, it will be easy to find her replacement and there will be dozens of others who are thrilled and itching to take her spot. The only issue now is whether or not you let the UGH back in your group when her boyfriend inevitably dumps her and she’s nothing but a washed up wannabe betch.

Stay true to your inner betch and never let any guy take that away from you, no matter how many fancy dinners he takes you on or how many Chanel bags his mom gives you for graduation. The last thing you want people saying is that you used to be cool, and now you're just... ugh.

 

 

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12 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. The Betches says:

    Thank god for a betches post. I’m sitting at a paid internship at my daddy’s company #36 not doing work and this is the perfect thing to distract me. Sooo fucking true, we all have an UGH.

    Posted on Reply
  2. The Betches says:

    Anti Ugh, your comment describes my life: sitting at my desk at my internship wishing it was 5 o clock or that i was outside tanning, constantly checking BLTS, love it.

    More relevantly, my ex-roomate is an UGH, so sad when that happens

    Posted on Reply
  3. The Betches says:

    spot on post – as per usual.
    btdubs, the bro site isn’t nearly equivalent in terms of quality of writing or overall style for that matter.
    #notfuckingsurprised

    Posted on Reply
  4. The Betches says:

    Which is worse, a has-been or a never-was? Discuss among yourselves.

    Posted on Reply
  5. The Betches says:

    Betches don’t give a fuck about the “never-were”

    Posted on Reply
  6. The Betches says:

    Next one should be: “Flying Business”

    Posted on Reply
  7. The Betches says:

    Nice article, While betches are awesome and the first ones that catch us guy’s attention, it sounds to me like the “ugh” is the ultimate girlfriend. Basically still a Betch on the inside but willing to give up SOME of the relationship breaking behavior.

    I guess that’s why it didn’t work for me…
    http://www.redflag101.com/damaged-goods-story/

    Can a betch still be a betch while maintaining a sucessfull relationship?

    Posted on Reply
  8. Betch of the Best <3 says:

    i TAUGHT my fellow betches to be betchy, however, now i am afraid they think im an UGH because theyre not around as much now that were all at different colleges. what they dont know is that I am OGH (obviously going harder) smile

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    dying. hilarious

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    Betches could turn into an UGH if they’re prego and don’t want anyone to know about it. Fucking shady.

    Posted on Reply
  11. Oh betch, oh betch, oh betch says:

    One of my besties has turned into the UGH. It’s only since she found her latest bf that all of a sudden the bars are not on the menu. She’s still one of my besties (I guess), we still possess similar shopping habits and all that shit, but, like, she doesn’t want to go the bars, now. I’m super confused. Hang out with other friends? Maybe…

    Posted on Reply
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