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By The Betches on

Naturally, there’s nothing a betch loves more than a four month vacation that’s fully funded by their parents under the guise of being “culturally immersed”... also known as partying in the best clubs in every city across Europe!! Here’s the truth from some real live abroad betches. Ugh, I miss ittttt!! The itinerary whilst abroad consists of attending classes maybe three days a week, buying chic European clothes, and testing out the weed in various cities. A typical day means being drunk by 2pm after waking up at noon. A betch’s biggest issue is usually something along the lines of how to squeeze in nap time between visiting Anne Frank’s House and getting high. But how will we buy drugs if the dealers don’t speak English!? Don’t worry, a little known secret is that everyone speaks English! …Well, at least anyone you’ll ever want to talk to. You thought you were going to become fluent in Italian? Think again! Experiencing cultural diversity was having someone from TCU in your Tuscan wine tasting class.

pragueBetches who don't have their last name on a building at their college can write their names here


While traveling abroad, you’ll know when you’ve met another betch (most likely they’ll be staying with your best betch from high school’s best betch from college), and they’ll love to give you the scoop on the city they’re living in… You know, in Barcelona, they put ham in like, everything, but sometimes, they like, don’t put ham in things. It's weird, you know...

Don’t worry, the worst part about Italy is the Italians!

You know you’re Facebook friends with an abroad betch when her profile pictures consist of her skydiving in Interlaken, chugging beers at Oktoberfest (So many calories! Oh my God! Try to steer clear of the Germans! Side note: Germans are really mean, but sometimes they’re like, not really mean), and making peace signs by the Lennon Wall in Prague (Oh my God! Eastern Europe! So sketch!).

If you have more than one friend from abroad who actually lives in the city you studied in, you are not a betch (your former drug dealers don’t count). And if you don’t know who Massimo is, you are DEF not a betch. Love ya!!


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40 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. The Betches says:

    Everyone–I mean, everyone I know–has met Massimo! People go abroad JUST to visit him

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  2. The Betches says:

    who writes this shet? i’m crying i’m laughing so hard. this ish is spot on.

    -your numba one betch

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  3. The Betches says:

    Peace sign picture & name on the Lennon wall… Check!

    -posted from my blackberry while studying abroad

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  4. The Betches says:

    I already knew I was “cultural diversity” bc I’m an SA betch but now that a fellow betch has recollized? +7.

    -TCU betch.

    Posted on Reply
  5. The Betches says:

    TCU betches were “cultural diverse” in the sense that we were the only non-JAPS studying abroad… and also the only betches who the Italian men would buy drinks for. +5

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  6. The Betches says:

    Just back from a semester in Barca!
    +7 for not being able to remember if I signed my name on the wall or not!

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  7. The Betches says:

    Massimo as in Massimo Avuri of NYU in Florence??!?!

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  8. The Betches says:

    even teh comments are the same thoughts i am having. uncanny how well you know this generation of “young, cultured women”. i wish i were more original!

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  9. The Betches says:

    even the comments mirror my thoughts. it is seriously uncanny how well you know and write about the “young, cultured women” of our generation. i wish i were more original!

    Posted on Reply
  10. The Betches says:

    another interesting betch tid-bit is that once betches come back from being abroad alllll the sudden they love good food and truffles and truffle oil…absolutely hilarious

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  11. The Betches says:

    Mossimo? If you’re going to contend you’re a rich “betch” who only cares about going abroad for the relevant fashion then at least be in touch with relevant designers! C’mon now, Mossimo the rage back in the late 80s, early 90s. It sounds like the only designer you betches can boast about is an old tattered up bag from your mother’s closet. You don’t need to go to Italy to buy Mossimo fashion, you just need to head over to your local Target… considering Target is currently his #1 distributor. You silly betches…

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  12. The Betches says:

    I mean I don’t know about this target garbage but I do know missoni… And betches that never goes out of style.

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  13. The Betches says:

    What if I’m a betch studying abroad in Asia? Because that’s what I’m currently doing, being a betch studying abroad in Asia.

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  14. florence betch says:

    Obviously none of you are true betches..Massimo is not a designer for Target or your professor at NYU. He owns a store near the leather market, and sells jackets to the hottest study abroad betches. You must not know this because you spent your time in Italy eating carbs.

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  15. Grammar Betch says:

    What the subject says. I’m an anal abroad betch.

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  16. FYI says:


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  17. Anonymous says:

    It is not MOSSIMO like the Target brand. Massimo is the guy in the leather market in Florence who has the best leather jackets in all of Italy. Go abroad BETCH.

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  18. Jackie says:

    who the fck is Massimo?

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  19. True Betch says:

    Is the Italian guy from the Wedding Planner. Duh.

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  20. florence betch says:

    you betches got it all wrong..Massimo is the guy who makes the leather jackets for all of the Long Island jappy betches abroad. fucking duh

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  21. Betch says:

    anyone who is anyone has a Massimo jacket

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  22. real grammar says:

    I you’re going to be anal and obnoxious about others’ grammar, learn some first!

    it+is = it’s (it’s going to rain)
    it (possessive) = its (the dog chased its tail)

    get it right, betch.

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  23. Anonymous says:

    Lovee Massimo! I am obsessed with my leather jacket and purse from him!

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  24. You're both stupid betches... says:

    While you have the grammar points on “it’s”, all us betches are hating you bc you are #123. TTH…but you couldn’t even spell “If” right. I know betches like to talk about ourselves, we don’t make asses of ourselves.

    get it right, bitch (you’re not a betch yet)

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  25. hot european guy says:

    This holds true ONLY for American betches. All these betches want to do is bang hot European guys. GROW UP, AMERICANS.

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  26. Anonymous says:

    Betches, listen up. I’m currently in Florence now and, like all you other fuckers, have fallen in love with Massimo. The old man asked me to help him with make a facebook page! Since you betches love him so much that you wrote about him and, minus the retarded betches who embarrassingly got him confused with Missoni, have spoken so highly of him in your comments, please help a sistaaa out and LIKE HIS PAGE! He’s the cutest old man in the whole wide world, and I know some of you betches have a heart! He gave you a hot jacket, you owe him a like.

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  27. abroad says:

    mAssimo….not mOssimo. google it cos i have better things to do than explain basic betch to an alien

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  28. Kel says:

    haha Yes.

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  29. Sof says:

    Yo, Massimo is such a G, all you betches best pay him a visit if you are ever in Florence.  -Hooked me up with my leather jacket and now I look so hawtttt!

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  30. Madeline says:

    Awkward that ‘Grammar Betch’ couldn’t be more wrong regarding proper grammar. It’s definitely ‘it’s’ in that context. You’re an idiot.

    Posted on Reply
  31. Summer Abroad Betch says:

    every true betch knows that semester at sea is THE betchiest way to study abroad. you dad pays like 20 grand on his black card for a suite on a cruise ship where you pretend to learn but sunbathe all day and go to a million different countries. any betch can go to france or italy but not any betch can get credit hours while 27. tanning, in 60. sunglasses, and 36. not doing work.

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  32. Factual Betch says:

    alright, yea I guess semester at Sea is cool…. but I believe I’d much rather spend my time gallivanting around the streets of Rome than being trapped on a Boat with limited alcohol. And as for getting credit hours while tanning.. It’s called going to school in Florida.

    Sorry, confessions of a true party betch.

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  33. CM says:

    I love how much I already do that is listed on the whole blog but at the same time it makes me wonder how unoriginal I am… How many betches like me there are hahaha. Oh god.

    Posted on Reply
  34. Anonymous says:

    As soon as I walked into the store he asked me if I found him on betcheslovethis. Fucking duh! He’s so chatty and I love my new jacket! Kiss kiss, betches

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  35. VB says:

    Spot ON! haha whoever writes these blogs is a genius because they are soooo true!!

    Posted on Reply
  36. doubtfulhenry says:

    I’m too “middle class” to relate to this bullshet, grrl.

    Posted on Reply
  37. Princess says:

    I dont know who Massimo is but I know who Massimo Dutti is #whosthebetchnow

    Posted on Reply
  38. Alex says:

    What are the betchest places to study?
    Europe? Asia? South Africa? I’m trying to decide.
    I obvi want a place with hot guys (foreign and other bros studying abroad), good drugs, great partying scene, and amazing arctitechture to take hot af pictures. Help a betch out!

    Posted on Reply
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