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By The Betches on

Considering a betch's standard morning usually begins with a more thorough investigation of just how she wound up in her bed (or someone else's) than you'd ever find in a Encyclopedia Brown book, it's pretty obvious that having such an amazing social life often comes with unwritten consequences. No we're not talking about being hungover or unsure if you have to buy Plan B. We're referring to the shit that happens to you while you're out, and the material you use to build your repertoire of examples of why your life is 'a complete joke'.

Have you ever been at a party where people were looking at you when they start chanting "who brought the asshole?" and suddenly you realize that you've knocked over an entire bottle of red wine on your friends animal skin rug? Whatevs, it was begging to be destroyed. Well, if the answer to that question is yes, we're right there with you. Although most of the time we try to maintain the essence of class and poise when navigating the social world, if you don't have at least one minor monthly party foul, you probably take yourself too seriously.

tabatha coffey

Party fouls are similar to #13 Sunday morning regrets in that you one hundred percent embarrassed yourself doing something fucking stupid, but are different because the humor that accompanies that ridiculous shit you did last night highly outweighs giving a shit about what anyone thinks about you. You might ordinarily regret it, but the story of your absurdity makes humiliation obsolete.

 

If you don't have at least five stories of a time your #69 bestie had a hysterical fuck up that you can deliver on command, then you probably hate each other. Having a best friend who does stupid shit when she's drunk is so much better than bringing it upon yourself to take responsibility of being the idiot of the night. I mean, who needs to watch a Kardashian marathon when your Saturday morning entertainment can consist of watching your bestie and her boyfriend duke it out over which of them is the "Urinator" who peed in their mutual bed the night before.

Seriously though, we don't understand the whole peeing in your bed because you're so drunk situation, but we're happy we know people who do it because it has to be one of the most ridiculous phenomena to hit the betch world.

Some of our own personal party fouls include:

- Losing one or both of your shoes

- Falling down stairs and ripping your jeans

- Walking into a glass door (or anything for that matter)

- Confusing your #18 fuck buddy Dan with your #55 dad and texting: "I'm DTF"

- Eating 5 slices of pizza and about a quart of mac n cheese

- Then eating your friend's food when she's not looking

- Then eating a stranger's food when he's not looking

- Spilling your drink on....everyone

- Peeing outside when there is a bathroom in clear sight

- Accusing the bouncer of discriminating against white people because he wont let you into the bar

- Telling any guy that you're in love with him

- Hooking up with a myriad of circus clowns ie. a short guy, a guy with gray hair, a really young guy, an ugly bro, a really fucking ugly bro...

- Throwing up out of a window of a moving car

- Wiping your nose on a random person's shirt after a sporadic hysterical fit of unexplainable tears

- Crying because it's already Saturday and you can't go out for an entire 2 days

- Sending 25 emoticons to a guy you're hooking up with when a simple "hey" would have sufficed

tabatha coffeyParty Foul: Being Poor

- Giving people advice who never asked for it....like no the bouncer never asked you your opinions on his abilities as a father

 

- Telling your friend exactly what you think of her annoying friend...in front of her annoying friend

- Buying shots

- Buying people shots who didn't ask for them

- Taking too many Xanax and passing out at the bar.

- Harassing your guy friend about the fact that you don't think his girlfriend is "the one" and continuously calling her "Not the One" for the rest of the night.

- Casually falling off a table

- Crowd surfing onto an unsuspecting and unwelcoming crowd

- Snorting salt...accident or not

Whatever the party foul may be, we're sure that there are 100 betches in the world who have or are doing the same exact thing. Sure they're not the classiest of moves, but they're okay sometimes. If you're doing them on a nightly basis you should stop fucking drinking so much. No one wants to chill with Amy Winehouse...awkward.

Take this list as more of a "checklist" in which you're allowed three a year and continue going out and being yourself. But as any true betch gets older, she'll become more of an experienced party fouler and find ways to avoid embarrassing herself. Like look at the dame of disgrace, Snooki. In an act of what appeared to be maturity, she decided against wearing underwear that have her boyfriend's name on them because she knew she would flash her ass to anyone and everyone that night. Evidently, that kind of foresight is all it takes to become a best selling author.

The moral of the story is: party fouls should be used in moderation but if you've never had any you're probably boring as fuck and we feel sorry for your besties.

 

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87 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. casualpartier says:

    uhh these are so unklassy. KKG KEEPS IT KLASSY! Betchiest sorority on any betch campus

    Posted on Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    Oh god, that list is like a personal diary of things I’ve done and seen at parties. I feel better.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    OMG, a myriad of circus clowns. dying…and been there.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Anonymous says:

    story of my life

    Posted on Reply
  5. justabitch says:

    It’s a bit ironic to say keep things classy when you’re spelling the word with a K… sorry doesn’t really work for you all too well..

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    I know right away that you’re not even slightly a betch because your name is casualpartier. Figure your life out before you come back to this website.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    klassy? what are you, a kardashian?

    Posted on Reply
  8. annon says:

    ok that comment was stupid but kkg is actually super betchy

    Posted on Reply
  9. beenabetchsincebirth says:

    throwing up on a non-betch and then bitching her out when she tries to tell you to stop drinking….tell me im not the only one

    Posted on Reply
  10. anonymous says:

    pushing someone down the stairs, kicking people out of a party because you forgot its not your house…fuck

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    lolololol hilarious

    Posted on Reply
  12. anonymous says:

    head betches! you forget the numerous party fouls that may involve the iPhone including dropping your phone in the toilet or cracking the screen while drunkenly falling down the stairs. And of course this gets super embarrassing because you proceed to tell everyone you talk for the rest of the night what happened to your phone. It doesn’t really matter though because once you sober up you just flirt with the apple store genius’s until they give you a free new phone. worked for me!

    Posted on Reply
  13. betch1 says:

    KKG= Krisy Kreme Giants, or Killa Killa Gorilla

    Posted on Reply
  14. Anonymous says:

    hahaha bscb love it

    Posted on Reply
  15. What... says:

    Half of the things on that list are at the least bit amusing and just pure embarrassing…

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    obviously you didn’t make the cut

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    the worst…one time i was at a party at some hot bro’s house. in the middle of our flirty conversation, a huge, fat, ugly cow of a girl walked in. i looked at him and said “eww WHO is that?”....turns out it was his sister.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    kutta kutta gramma, betches

    Posted on Reply
  19. Anonymous says:

    kappa kappa gamma is actually the betchiest sorority, but your probably not a kappa, because a real kappa doesn’t need to tell ppl shes classy, she just is and people just know

    Posted on Reply
  20. anon says:

    lol….already have done so many of these and im still in high school.

    Posted on Reply
  21. E says:

    And this is proof of why KKG sucks….

    Posted on Reply
  22. seriously sista? says:

    I’m in Kappa, please stop embarrassing our sorority ya freak.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Anonymous says:

    hahahaha my thoughts exactly

    Posted on Reply
  24. Anonymous says:

    When you wake up and text your roomie “where the fuck am I??” and hear the “ding-ding” of her phone in the room next to you and realize you’re both in the same apt, but it’s not your own… she must have gone home with random pro’s roommate last night??...joint walk of shame??...oh and I’m not in college anymore, I’m 25, this is real life.

    Posted on Reply
  25. So true says:

    Ive manipulated countless apple geeks to give me a new phone for free when “somehow it just shattered!?”

    Posted on Reply
  26. Ultimatebetchpartyfoul says:

    I ripped my designer jeans in the ass while #134 dancing on a table to #58 house music while #20clubbing as I was #42 dressed like a slut while #3 abroad in Barcelona. But I’d still go back and dance like a slut at Otto Zutz any day. <3 BCN.

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    Hahahahah I have done almost all of these things and if not me then my bestie’s have it covered. Very true. Very funny.

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    Hahah I love it….. “And of course this gets super embarrassing because you proceed to tell everyone you talk for the rest of the night what happened to your phone.”

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    that’s why i purposely put my parents in my phone book as ZZZMom and ZZZDad so there is no way I will ever text them by mistake

    Posted on Reply
  30. Love dis site says:

    Two nights ago I walked home barefoot.. lol.  i was at this kids house and he tried to get me to put my shoes on, so i threw them at him.

    Posted on Reply
  31. Anonymous says:

    kappa kappa grandma

    Posted on Reply
  32. Anonymous says:

    Eww good thing you eluded that fail of a gene pool

    Posted on Reply
  33. Anonymous says:

    Eww good thing you eluded that fail of a gene pool

    Posted on Reply
  34. aaaa says:

    Nothing about Candyland?

    Posted on Reply
  35. Anonymous says:

    SO clever.  changing that now.

    Posted on Reply
  36. Anonymous says:

    eeek..my new pro came and visited me over winter break…got me a cute tory bag while he was here and thatttt night i proceeded to swing it by the chain/throw it at every window/store front we passed…shortest lifespan of any clutch/bag i’ve ever owned….oops

    Posted on Reply
  37. Anonymous says:

    hahahahahaha yesssssssssss

    Posted on Reply
  38. ava says:

    Just thought I’d add to the list:
    -forcing random old people in the elevator to take a shot
    -texing your mum that you got your boyfriends birthday gift from a sex shop
    -getting kicked out of the cab for playing ispy drinking games

    Posted on Reply
  39. uhhh says:

    check unc’s

    Posted on Reply
  40. betch says:

    more like the boringbetches sorority… and you wonder why you haven’t had any party fouls.

    Posted on Reply
  41. Anonymous says:

    ohhh the xanny trainzzzzZzZ party foul population - this betch

    Posted on Reply
  42. Anonymous says:

    Puking in the crack between your bed and your wall cause your too drunk to get up and go to the bathroom
    Pee in a bidet
    Fall asleep… Anywhere
    Hook up with someone illiterate
    Just to name a few more

    Posted on Reply
  43. Kjdhjl says:

    To point out to you that it isn’t that cool to sleep w pros when you’re alums ... What else would you be sleeping with?

    Posted on Reply
  44. Anonymous says:

    i don’t get it…what exactly are you throwing up? we don’t eat….

    Posted on Reply
  45. Anonymous says:

    kappas having to prove themselves over an internet site? not betchy

    Posted on Reply
  46. anonymous says:

    i vommed over a balcony three stories up overlooking the mediterranean sea in cap d’ail…it landed on a girl’s head. oops.

    Posted on Reply
  47. kappabetch says:

    Kappas keep it klassy even when they’re party-fouling

    Posted on Reply
  48. kkg? says:

    if anyone ever in the history of life gave a fuck what you thought they’d ask you. why don’t you go strip for some middle tier frats and stop being jealous of actual betches that you could never keep up with. kkg is filled with actual bitches, not betches. huge difference.

    Posted on Reply
  49. jescowhite says:

    hey, are you in a sorority or something?

    Posted on Reply
  50. CaliBetch says:

    to point out to you that she’s doing exactly what she should be doing, as pros are also alums…

    Posted on Reply
  51. Anonymous says:

    the comments on this website make sad for the future of the human race. now proceed to respond to this in ways that im sure will only reinforce my opinion

    oh and don’t worry i wont be returning, once was enough

    Posted on Reply
  52. Outer says:

    -my favorite: outing supposedly gay guys

    Posted on Reply
  53. .... says:

    ....seriously embarrassing on behalf of all kappas/sororities. don’t comment, ever.

    Posted on Reply
  54. Anonymous says:

    obvi she’s throwing up diet coke and vodka. or maybe she accidentally swallowed some peppermint orbit and needs to vom to get it out.

    Posted on Reply
  55. Love it says:

    “Crowd surfing onto an unsuspecting and unwelcoming crowd”...just laughed so hard

    Posted on Reply
  56. ohramona says:

    oh you mean Kappa Kappa Koke Whores?

    Posted on Reply
  57. Anonymous says:

    THE stupidest comment I have ever seen in my entire life. Your commenting privileges should be revoked and you should be removed from KKG for being an embarrassment.

    Posted on Reply
  58. Karla says:

    Just as good as your last post. Do you accept advertisers?

    Posted on Reply
  59. anonymous says:

    wow I’m so happy reading this cause I party fowl like it’s my job and recently my friends have been bitching at me and telling me I’m out of control, I’m too nice to tell them if I wasn’t like this their lives would be horribly boring…although my new vow to myself is to avoid getting blackout every time I drink but since I’m 90 pounds and can drink just as much as a 200 pound person..I’m thinking I need a new game plan like not going out with those friends and it would be a matter of time before they send me a million “I miss you” texts

    Posted on Reply
  60. Anna says:

    For the love of all that is good and holy, please stop misspelling ‘classy’ and coming up with unintelligent, nonsensical, and unfunny explanations for the acronym KKG, such as ‘Kappa Kappa Koke Whores’ and ‘Kappa Kappa Fratty’. The majority of commenters on this website seem fundamentally illiterate, and likely self-identify as ‘betches’ because of misspelling.

    Posted on Reply
  61. DG BETCH says:

    Delta Gamma all the way betches! <3

    Girl who wrote about KKG… yeah. Really classy to spell ‘classy’ with a ‘K’. And this is why I didn’t rush for KKG ahahhaha

    Posted on Reply
  62. Camilleforeal63 says:

    Obviously you don’t go to Rollins College…

    Posted on Reply
  63. anonymous says:

    please.  DG is the absolute worst at EVERY school. you can go shave your back now.

    Posted on Reply
  64. The Civilized World says:

    You are a disgrace to society. What is read cannot be unread. I will forever be a page and a half stupider than i was this morning.

    Posted on Reply
  65. Betch says:

    “loosing” and “stupider” aren’t words you ignorant bitch.

    Posted on Reply
  66. Anonymous says:

    falling off a table—been there done that

    Posted on Reply
  67. Anonymous says:

    Shut up. It’s done.

    Posted on Reply
  68. Anonymous says:

    No ones trying to “prove” anything. Shes prob a baby and super proud. Let’s lol and move on k awesomeee

    Posted on Reply
  69. SorostituTe says:

    It’s okay, we forgive you.

    Posted on Reply
  70. kkg till i d-i-e says:

    I’m a kappa, too. Kappa is the definition of a betch. It’s college… like chillax

    Posted on Reply
  71. bckoutbetvh says:

    You look like an idiot compose yourself kappa

    Posted on Reply
  72. Anonymous says:

    That comment literally made me want to throw up. Please go get a life. And for some reason it makes me think you’re really fat and socially retarded… So good luck with that

    Posted on Reply
  73. RealBetch says:

    Being white isn’t a qualification of being a Betch, bouncers discriminate against all betches not just those who are white

    ignorance

    Posted on Reply
  74. lame says:

    This comment is so embarrassing.

    Posted on Reply
  75. casabetch says:

    Why is blacking out and puking straight alcohol and getting sent home from sorority formal not on there? Pretty much the betchiest of all party fouls.

    Posted on Reply
  76. PartyFoulsonFouls says:

    What about giving a guy a blowjob, forgetting jizz shows up in blacklight, then going to a Lazer tag place with a glowing mouth. Anyone? Just me. Awkward..

    Posted on Reply
  77. Pearl says:

    I’ve done way too many of these. But one I did that isn’t here- When I was 20 and at a great party, I poured a drink on friend’s head because she had just gotten a perm and I wanted to see it curl up. I ended ruining the perm and the friendship.

    Posted on Reply
  78. turtleeeeesss says:

    hahaha sounds like a night with some delta zetaaaaas!!! #crazybetches

    Posted on Reply
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