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By The Betches on

It's 2am and you're hanging outside the bar thinking of ways to distract yourself from eating while on your #5 diet, even though the pizza place is across the street and you're just below blackout. Then you see him standing across the street: the self-proclaimed "bro."

The bro’s goal for the night is to fuck the hottest betch around, who, let’s face it, is you (thanks for the heads up Bros Like This Site!!). He motions for you to come over. As a true betch you're not going for that shit, and you scream that if he wants to talk to you he can cross the fucking street.

He obviously does.

The two of you start talking when he mentions that he has weed. OMG, yes, I love blunts!!! The thought entices you enough to go back to his place, smoke and watch Knocked Up. Ahhh Paul Rudd!!! Love him too!! In addition, this is a great way to avoid #5 eating, at least for an hour. In your drunken state, it's the perfect activity.

You go back, smoke a little weed, and this bro obviously starts to make out with you. You're almost drunk/high enough and are considering having sex with him. At least it'll be a workout!

Then you snap out of it and realize who you are. You’re a betch, and it will take more than a blunt and a ride in his BMW to conquer this shit. As a betch you realize that while bros rule the world (yeah, betches are secure enough in their awesomeness to admit it, who do you think you’re marrying anyway?), betches have the power to not have sex with them. Even their daddy’s money can’t get you to put out. As he tries to put his hand down your pants you yawn and say that you've got a super early group meeting and you’re so sorry and thanks for the blunt and you have to go. As if I’d ever go to any group meeting before noon. Bye.

See, the difference between your average slut and a betch is that a betch doesn't just use her hotness to get laid, she uses it to manipulate the bros who think they're in charge. Hellloooo just look at history! Anne Boleyn got her betchy ass to be Queen of England simply by not putting out to the ultimate asshole bro, Henry VIII.

dawson's creek

This is not to say betches don't love having sex, but unlike bros, our vaginas aren’t attached to our brains. Except sometimes if you had too many shots, and were so drunk that you actually had that beer to put you over, you might end up fucking him anyway... in that case it's always fun to do a prank call with your betches a few weeks later telling him you're knocked up and are gonna need about 18 years of child support.

 

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80 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. The Betches says:

    you dumb broads are all whores, this site is fucking lame. bros fucking rule

    Posted on Reply
  2. The Betches says:

    well you’re not a bro because you’re clearly gay

    Posted on Reply
    • Team Betches says:

      It’s sad how immature you are and that you can’t face the truth

      Posted on Reply
  3. The Betches says:

    you obviously don’t get laid… at all. so don’t take your hatred out on the rest of us who do- use your hand and figure it out- you’ll be a much happier person

    Posted on Reply
  4. The Betches says:

    Shut up you stupid horny bat

    Posted on Reply
  5. The Betches says:

    This comment made me laugh harder than anything else on the page. Everyone knows a betch’s goal is to bang a bro. Where’s #78 (cooking) or #46 (doing laundry)?

    Posted on Reply
  6. The Betches says:

    Except that Anne Boleyn got her head chopped off 3 years later…

    Posted on Reply
  7. The Betches says:

    Wow. Woman are so stupid. She was his second wife of six, and was his slut on the side until then. She gave birth to a girl and had a couple more subsequent miscarriages. Henry had her executed on speculation alone because he saw the opportunity to get rid of her without legal consequence. Henry wanted a male heir to his thrown so he tore through wives faster than donald trump. He even caused a huge split in the church because he essentially told the pope to fuck off and hell marry whomever and whenever he wants without his approval. Where you learned history lord knows but your dumb as shit. You said “our vaginas aren’t attached to our brains.” Does this mean that my penis has more intelligence than your brain? If you’re going to try to do a run off of broslikethissite at least make it funny and at least moderately historically accurate. You’re a typical dumb “betch.”

    Posted on Reply
  8. The Betches says:

    It’s “you’re”, my friend.
    Maybe check your grammar before ripping apart what others have to say.

    Posted on Reply
  9. The Betches says:

    And Mark, it’s “Women”, plural.

    Posted on Reply
  10. The Betches says:

    commas go inside of quotations.

    Posted on Reply
  11. The Betches says:

    sorry ladies, as much as i love this site.. mark totally nailed it. and pointing out minor grammatical flaws in his argument doesn’t make it any less valid…get it together betches.

    Posted on Reply
  12. The Betches says:

    Someone has been watching The Tudors…

    Posted on Reply
  13. The Betches says:

    You fucking retard, Anne Boleyn wasn’t a slut on the side. I studied the Tudors, I know my shit. She = ultimate betch. Sorry you’re so fucking butthurt.

    Posted on Reply
  14. The Betches says:

    Ouch. When was the last time you got any? By a woman. Not by yourself.

    Just curious.

    Posted on Reply
  15. The Betches says:

    Ironic… Anne Boelyn’s daughter Queen Elizabeth I ruled England for 44 years before her death and her rein is considered one of the most glorious in England’s history.

    Posted on Reply
  16. The Betches says:

    Lets be honest. No girl can ever resist a true bro. thats where youre wrong.

    Posted on Reply
  17. The Betches says:

    See above post, bro. Queen Elizabeth I, perhaps the queen of all betches, left a mobius strip of scorned suitors that came from all around the world to take her hand in marriage, thereby denying the reign of a King. As queen, Elizabeth I turned down the overwhelming proposals and bribes of many politicians, poets, and the likes of Sir Walter Ralegh.

    She resisted the Renaissance man: the contemporary synonym would be bro.

    And you, bro, will unfortunately still get women, until perhaps your waning beer belly eclipses your penis (it is an impending and indubitable matter) and when women realize that you are a wanker.

    Posted on Reply
  18. The Betches says:

    Ummm. As soon as the ‘betch’ started giving us a history lesson she (they’re still she’s right?) she lost all of her ‘betchiness’.

    A hot bitch is still a bitch, not a betch.

    Posted on Reply
  19. The Betches says:

    And if we’re commenting on grammar… “This is not to say betches don’t love having sex, but unlike bros, our vaginas aren’t attached to our brains.”

    There is a misplaced modifier. You’re implying that bro’s have vaginas, and the only difference between the sexes is that male vagina’s are attached to the head…

    Not sure how the betch anatomy works, but males have penises not vaginas, and they’re located in the same place across both sexes.

    Posted on Reply
  20. The Betches says:

    Pointing that out doesn’t prove anything. You’re supposed to assume men have penises…hopefully.

    Posted on Reply
  21. The Betches says:

    Welp, sorry that you “bro’s” aren’t fascinated enough by your own sight that you had to come onto ours and try to bash us. Truth is, no matter what your argument is, we’re still self proclaimed betches.

    Posted on Reply
  22. The Betches says:

    *excuse me, before any guys try to correct me, “site”

    Posted on Reply
  23. The Betches says:

    spot on. betches run this shit
    betchlifeforever.

    Posted on Reply
  24. The Betches says:

    Ha! Now that was funny ! 10 stars. Shit, I’m not a bro, but that was entertaining none-the-less. Sex and weed are a great combination. Minus the drama, and you got heaven IMHO.

    Posted on Reply
  25. The Betches says:

    did your mother teach you that, betch?

    Posted on Reply
  26. The Betches says:

    betches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks

    Posted on Reply
  27. The Betches says:

    SO ITS ALL GOOD CAUSE IN THE END (even crazier as stated…SOMETIMES) the “betch” doesnt have sex with the guy?!?!?!?!? BAHAHAHAHA

    BUT BUT BUT Im sure there isnt anything wrong with the fact that the guy is initially some stranger, seen across the street, at 2 am in the morning, and he has drugs on him. NO NO THATS all cool right? cause at least (again sometimes) she didnt have sex with him.

    BRAVO BETCHES….BRAVO. unbelievable. Class act ladies. Chivalry is dead. THANKS TO BETCHES!!!

    Posted on Reply
  28. The Betches says:

    Why are boys even on this site? GTFO. It’s called “BETCHES love this site.” Obviously you’re not the intended audience.

    Posted on Reply
  29. The Betches says:

    It’s the Internet. You betches want privacy, then set-up a password and charge a fee to view this crap. NO ONE WOULD PAY ANYWAY. Otherwise there are no gender barriers as to who can view it or have an opinion on it.
    My opinion is one of reason. Just because you can’t defend the slutty/classless merits this site offers you, don’t tell me to GTFO. My “women” (woman with class and decency) even agree. So again keep it up you betchin retards.

    Posted on Reply
  30. The Betches says:

    Well, I don’t give a FUCK about your rights, GET OFF THE GODDAMM SITE YOU ASSHOLE!!

    Posted on Reply
  31. The Betches says:

    Its funny cause i never mentioned it being a matter of my rights. Its a public site. AGAIN, if you feel I don’t belong, set up a password and charge a fee. Anyway, you don’t give a fuck about my rights? That’s inhumane. Cause I give a shit about your rights as a human….not as a betche. Cause betches are inhumane as well right?. With every comment you retards post it’s like I have to adjust how I encapsulate you. Really all I intend on doing is open the floor for some reasonable discourse. Simply because none of you can articulately defend this filth, and choose to attack people’s “grammar” instead of their “ideas” don’t get mad at me. Seriously, you “betches” read this shit now and get off on it…..in 10, 15, 20 years when you have kids, what will you think of this shit then. In the end it’s no way to live by. Good luck if you think it is…..you really well get no where with any of this shit.

    Posted on Reply
  32. The Betches says:

    dear betches
    you betches are so stupid everything you said in that article was a lie except for when you said bros rule the world cause we all know that part is true. the only reason i know that this article is made up of lies is cause i have truly put it up to the test. i have gotten with so many hot betches and i got to say i like your style a lot but a good 75 percent of you betches weren’t even intoxicated. your so easy for this bro.

    sincerely your bro,
    Winstonworth

    Posted on Reply
  33. The Betches says:

    (directed to “betchsincebirth”)
    Bravo betch. Again I provide a voice of reason. You have nothing of value to add to this discourse, so you simply say “GTFO…go shave your back hair”. I won’t be picky about your grammar or spelling…..cause I could, but really? Who cares? Please reply in 10 years….when you realize the idiot you were, and when you have adopted (hopefully) a new ideology that’s on the other side of the spectrum.

    Posted on Reply
  34. The Betches says:

    This site is for betches, If one with a penis wants to read it don’t get mad–>it’s not FOR you. Get out and get over it! I love this shit!

    Posted on Reply
  35. The Betches says:

    Uh pretty sure if a slam piece were to comment or bash a post on any bro site they’d be told to GTFO.
    So I suggest you GTFO and go shave your back now. Kay thanks.

    Posted on Reply
  36. Linsi says:

    I just read this… I am a girl and i think that you are totally right and this is HILARIOUS

    Posted on Reply
  37. betchybetch says:

    I would like to say I fucking love this site. Yeah, okay maybe 10, 20 years when I have kids I won’t get off on this shit. But I don’t have fucking kids and DO, very much so, get off on this shit. You kinda have to be a betch to understand where THE betches are coming from. The things these badass betches say are actually very true. Being able to read something and relate to it and be like “Ohemgeee hahaha that’s so fucking true about me and alll my betchy fucking friends” is like the best thing ever. Like previously said, GTFO, or just keep to yourself. The betches of this world all fucking love this site. One little bash from some sexually frustrated bro ain’t no big thang. I mean you’re on the site, clearly you have some interest in it.

    PS: Love you betches. Keep up the FABULOUS work.

    Posted on Reply
  38. whitney says:

    That’s exactly what I was thinking when I read that. He needs to stop pretending like he was a history major lol.

    Posted on Reply
  39. The Man With Bro Name says:

    Never capitalize the word “women”. Your gender is unworthy of capitalization.

    Posted on Reply
    • Betchnotbychoice says:

      Uh first of all it’s our sex, not our gender. But good effort Manbro!

      Posted on Reply
  40. passer by, says:

    Assume, you do know what assume did? thought she farted but actually shat herself, assume nothing!

    Posted on Reply
  41. Proud Betch says:

    Go fuck yourself, woman-hater. Betches don’t need bros like you to tell us we’re unworthy, we just need bros like you to remind us that retard-bros in the guise of real bros exist. Be careful, betches. Retard-bros can be sneaky, so just follow your betch instincts and know one when you see one.

    Posted on Reply
  42. Frosty the Broman says:

    Whilst bragging to my bros about this hot betch I banged out this weekend, and obviously showing them pics on fb, I came across this site posted on her wall.  As an avid reader of Bros Like This Site, I was intrigued.  So I read a few articles.  I have to admit, this is pretty funny.  Who even knew she had a sense of humor??  Maybe I’ll turn that one night stand into a two night stand…as long as it doesn’t involve more than a few texts/shots of rail vodka worth of effort.  Good work.

    Posted on Reply
  43. Anonymous says:

    whoever posted the comment is totes obvi gay.

    Posted on Reply
  44. @Thebrominator says:

    Wow…well said ladies.  However you forgot to include the part where you girls come back the next day for more and THEN we smash it and tell you we have to go help a bro move so you have to go.  And of course we dont call you just so we are back in control.

    Then again a real bro ALWAYS closes the deal if she gets her back home,  you may want to rename this post to “not having sex with dudes, cuz we didn’t get picked up by a bro”

    Posted on Reply
  45. just a betch. says:

    seriously the greatest thing ive ever read.

    Posted on Reply
  46. Amanda says:

    This site is hilarious and 95% true so if you don’t like it don’t read the site! It gives us girls a good laugh and allows us to say “omg so true!!” about five times each post.
    And to the guy above me ... of course you pick up easy girls but there’s always that girls that’s not going to go all the way, that is if she has any respect for herself or maybe she is just way too drunk and in that case you picked a winner I guess.

    PS bros are gay as shit #sorryimnotsorry

    Posted on Reply
  47. Anonymous says:

    Love that graphic, laid many a hot betch with an $80 bar tab and cab fare back to my place.

    Posted on Reply
  48. samantha says:

    although you prove some points relax bro. its just fun for fun, I don’t over-analyze the many comments “bros” make about “getting sandwiches while you make your ‘slampiece’ sit in the backseat giving your lax stick shot gun” because we all know a true betch wouldn’t stand for that aka any girl that would is fugly and pathetic.  if this site bothers you so much then go elsewhere we don’t need your negativity

    Posted on Reply
  49. dilemma says:

    hoping you guys can help me out… so over the summer i drunkenly had sex with a bro i went to high school with (we never hung out in high school and this hookup was very random).  Then, this past weekend i saw him at a party, we flirted, made out, but didn’t have sex.  I know when i come home from school for winter break i am bound to see him out and i dont know if i can still pull “not having sex with him.”  i want to hookup with him but i dont want him to think he’s getting lucky everytime we’re drunk and see eachother at a party.

    any advice?

    Posted on Reply
  50. Anonymous says:

    You’re not a bro if your last name is really winstonworth. and if you made this name up then you’re DEF not a bro. Also, no betch would ever get with anyone who thinks they’ve gotten with so many hot betches. The only thing you’ve probably gotten with recently is your hand.

    Posted on Reply
  51. Anonymous says:

    No one has to defend anything because you’re not meant to be here. Also you probably shouldn’t use the word retard when you’re talking about human rights and chivalry. I don’t know anyone who thinks their opinion is “one of reason” who uses offensive and inappropriate terms on a website for betches. which again you are not. Maybe you should go check out the funny tampon commercial on youtube if you’re so interested in betches and pretending that people give a shit about your opinion. (reality check-they don’t)

    Posted on Reply
  52. Danielle says:

    BT Whoever you are, You are the voice of reason in my humble opinion. Sorry Betches, he has made far too many logical points to front as though he hasn’t. I would take a guy who is clearly intelligent, knows how women should be treated and *expect to be treated, and can keep his cool in the midst of so much bullshit (as many men cannot), over some dumb bro with his daddy’s BMW!  Don’t hate (tho I’m sure you will). .. and don’t call me a fugly fat ass, because I am most certainly not. If a betch were defined by beauty, grace and intelligence, hot bod can be included also wink.. then I would surely consider myself one. I would think with all the love for pot going on, betch’s would be more chilllll. Daymn girls. Relaxxx

    Posted on Reply
  53. A Fucking Men says:

    Bros have no need for sluts who don’t put out right away. Waste of time.

    And once you do put out right away, bros no longer have need for you.

    Win-win.

    Posted on Reply
  54. anon says:

    let us all now how many times you’ve actually done any of these things if you’re soooo betchy. My guess is you love thinking girls could do these things but in reality they all just give in to the wills of any bro.

    Posted on Reply
  55. socrates says:

    gentlemen, for the love of god. flipping out at the betches on their own site? keep. your. composure! you’re supposed to be immune to this shit.

    Posted on Reply
  56. Dior says:

    i like pussay, but you betches always do this to me. Its unfair casue i like pussay

    Posted on Reply
  57. Sum yung gui says:

    I go to an ivy league school so none of this matters to me because im obvi going to be rich and you all will be poor. Have fun being in the 99%!

    -Wharton Betch

    Posted on Reply
  58. Anonymous says:

    You forgot to mention that Anne Boleyn lost her fucking head.

    Posted on Reply
  59. Countyboxer says:

    In all honesty this is true if you fuck a bro at a party and aren’t immediately impressive he’s prolly not gonna remember your name by Monday but if you make us wait then we take it as a challenge and when you combine sex with competition a real bro REFUSES to give up because we consider that a defeat

    Posted on Reply
  60. Anonymous says:

    Bros bang bitches, not butches or betches

    Posted on Reply
  61. Anonymous says:

    did you really call women stupid? seriously, who do you think you are?

    Posted on Reply
  62. betch lovin' bro says:

    these “bros” who are hating are obviously not bros at all but are virgins, losers, and wannabes who are hating on betches who scheme on them. they’re just the douches who smoke a blunt with a betch every weekend then got dipped on because they are probably ugly creepy PIKEs

    a real bro would accept these betches feeble attempts at avoiding being slain after the bar, get high himself and happen to let her hit it a couple times, but then of course beat those guts anyway.

    Go Bro or Go Home.

    Posted on Reply
  63. betchhhh says:

    no bro would actually read this, LOL. any guy that reads this most likey is lacking some testosterone. seriously. why isn’t there a way to see who comments? like this would eliminate all the ugly “bros” and wannabe betches from commenting. leave the 1% alone.

    Posted on Reply
  64. Trev says:

    What the hell is this shit site. Fucking Brocists promoting brocism. If it weren’t for broslikethissite then this “betches” shit wouldn’t exist. End of story.

    Posted on Reply
  65. Southernbellebetch says:

    Umm I’m just concerned that a bro is even reading this site… In betch world bros have better things to do then creep around on girly websites

    Posted on Reply
  66. this guy says:

    continue blowing me..then fix me breakfast and gtfo

    Posted on Reply
  67. Anonymous says:

    Anne Boleyn was decapitated

    Posted on Reply
  68. Kell says:

    I don’t get the win-win but hey, you’re probably smarter… You may also want to consider this escorts London, it may help you release your anger, it may help you stay in control.

    Posted on Reply
  69. Betch Please says:

    The fact that you have incensed me enough to comment on this site with a few short posts is a testament to the fact that you probably get none from any girl worth having. As far as the “women” who agree, who you then call a WOMAN with class and decency, either you are confused as to how many women you are actually dating, making you the killer of chivalry, not us, and them women true betches would never associate with, or you are only talking about one woman and you are too stupid to get your grammar right. Twice. In the same sentence. As far as betches not responding to your points with any rational commentary, real betches are generally too busy and too hot to give a shit what you have to say, much less respond. I am only breaking this trend now to get you to gtfo so I don’t have to see your babble when I am just looking for some relatable betchiness. I am not reading “Feminists love this” so get over yourself and get back to your blog about how unhappy your are about being ignored by the hot betchy girl at the bar.

    Posted on Reply
  70. Betches are gross says:

    I love how these betches pride themselves on hating sex and using it to manipulate men. As a gay man, I find it repulsive. I feel sorry for the men who are stupid enough to date you—and the parents who are dumb enough to support you. Down with becthes!!!

    Posted on Reply
  71. ..... says:

    this whole time i’m thinking why did i put in that much effort to fuck a girl who doesn’t know how to fuck!?
    cause its clear “vetches” haven’t had any good dick and only know missionary position anyways

    Posted on Reply
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