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By The Betches on

Music festivals are always a special occasion for betches. Other than the opportunity to rage to our favorite house music in an extremely sceney environment where people will see us and think we’re cool, the vibe at a music festival is always more “chill” than when we usually go out and rage. Since lots of these events are during the day, it should be obvious that it calls for a slightly different dress code.

 

crazy manToo much?

 

“Effortless” neon: The essence of the house music wardrobe is obviously some variation of a neon crop top coupled with jean shorts or leggings and sneakers. If you think it’s acceptable to be seen in your gym sneakers you should go hide in the bathroom until you run out of shit to do in there. Just because a music festival is the only time it’s okay to wear “alternative” clothing and not #42 dress like a slut doesn’t give you an excuse to look like a fucking hobo. Throw on a pair of Keds or your brightest one-of-a-kind pair of Nikes and you're good to go.

Big, trendy sunglasses: We can’t overstate the value and necessity of sunglasses. Just find the biggest fucking pair you can.

Hairpiece: A hairpiece can go either way. It’s a risky move but a true betch can pull off anything. The more #1 shit people are talking about your hairpiece, the betchier you are. Or you could look like a fucking tool. Hard to say without stalking your outfit on Facebook.

Handbag with secret compartments: No one wants to bother with a handbag while they’re raging to Angello, so lots of betches choose to go with the more low key bag for these events or wear no bag at all. This is the only time a fanny pack might be acceptable to carry, but only if it has your sorority’s letters on it (or is neon) so it’s clear that you didn’t buy it on your own and that you didn’t find it in a “vintage store” your grandma’s closet. Anyway, our main point is that whatever bag you bring should have secret compartments to hide your drugs because security is usually strict at these events.

So, make sure to dress appropriately for the next concert or music festival that you attend. And by appropriate we mean look like a chic drug addict from the 80s. This way people will def know you're a betch.

 

17 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. The Betches says:

    if this had come before or right after lolla i would have worshipped you even more than i already do. love you betches

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  2. The Betches says:

    Uhhmm fucking awesome. Basically described my outfit for angello saturday lovelove you

    Posted on Reply
  3. The Betches says:

    This is probably the first thing I disagree with. Betches don’t fucking fit in, betches are back stage with dj’s drinking vodka sodas and partying with SHM and being invited to follow them on tour.

    Posted on Reply
  4. The Betches says:

    Just in time for ID, I see <3

    Posted on Reply
  5. The Betches says:

    Ummm, Real betches dont pass through security… Bag check, Whats that? BTW, real betches smoke dope backstage with the performers… Possession… so trashy

    Posted on Reply
  6. The Betches says:

    kiss face in a picture .. also trashy

    Posted on Reply
  7. The Betches says:

    Its not a kiss face. Get your eyes checked BETCH!

    Posted on Reply
  8. The Betches says:

    well whatever it is it’s fucking ugly

    Posted on Reply
  9. The Betches says:

    and im not saying you’re ugly just the face .. pictures are meant for smiling not weird faces

    Posted on Reply
  10. The Betches says:

    So I clicked on your picture misscreole qt and you’re right, it’s not a kissy face…it looks like you are about to go down on a boy. Your other picture that is next to it IS a kissy face. get off the site, betches only!

    BTW loved the column, as always xoxo

    Posted on Reply
  11. The Betches says:

    betches wish they fit in at festivals.
    stupid bitches walking around festivals screaming and falling all over the place (PS rolling doesnt make you sloppy, so stop pretending) …dancing like an idiot not to the beat…everyone who actually likes the music is making fun of your fake asses all day long at festivals
    sorry “betches” festivals are one place where you all just look like fucking idiots
    #youbetcheswishyourneonfagoutfitswerecool

    Posted on Reply
  12. Tori says:

    Describes my festi-activities to a fucking t. I must say though, it’s never alright to be overtly BITCHY at festies or shows, it all about the love when you’re there, and my backless homemade hot pink crop will tell you so.

    ...oh and the fanny pack, duh. So perf.

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  13. K says:

    There is no such thing as a Creole betch, or a betch named Agatha. bye.

    Posted on Reply
  14. courtney says:

    Thank god someone said it! I totally agree betches do not fit in and everyone can tell.

    Posted on Reply
  15. B says:

    uh why are you even here and reading this post? obvi you aren’t a betch

    Posted on Reply
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