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By The Betches on

When it comes to college, a betch will usually encounter a plethora of guys who bring something special and douchey to the table. But with their sick bodies and shared affinity for #36 not doing work, it's no surprise that we hold a special place in our hearts for athletes. While they may not be the brightest, they usually have sick game (pun intended) due to being especially good looking and athletic in middle school and never having to try that hard with girls. But before you anxiously hop into bed with the captain of the fencing team, you should know that not all athletes are created equal.

We've taken the liberty of breaking down the athletic bros you're sure to encounter in your betchy existence.

lax brosThe lax pinnie is the betch equivalent of a pair of sunglasses.

Lacrosse: Biggest douchebags in America. See: Duke University scandal. Still, the lax bro is always hot and usually rich because poor people don't play lacrosse. Chances are he's from DC, maybe went to Landon. He clearly plays a sport in college for the sake of his reputation because like, there's no such thing as professional lacrosse in America so there's no way to possibly pretend this is a career move.

Football: He's a meat head and probably got into college for football, where he joined the football fraternity. He will never touch a book in college because he has tutors provided by the university and jersey-chasing betches who will do everything for him.

Baseball: Hot all-American types we think? That or probs Latino. Honestly do baseball players even go to college? We've never met any.

Soccer: A slightly more European looking but equally douchey version of the lax bro. There's something about a shin guard that makes me want to take my shirt off.

Tennis: The effeminate version of the lax team, probably from Florida. Sure they're hot, but their bodies cannot be described as anything else but long. Their screen names in middle school were usually Federerlover88 or IamnotaDjokovic314. The only two things being on the tennis team has gotten them is a stronger serve and the idea their balls are the size of the ones they slice.

Basketball: See the #110 Kardashians for merits of a swoon worthy Kris Humphries type. They are idiots, likely from the hood, but great for the tall betch. He thinks he's the shit, especially if his team is in March Madness. Will walk around like he's above everyone else because like, he physically is. He's usually a boob guy because he can see everyone's and will occasionally hook up with a fat girl because he can't see her stomach from way up there.

Hockey: Canadian

lax bros

Squash: These WASP types pick up their skills at the country club and are usually pretentious as fuck. It's like, can't you just play tennis like everyone else??

Golf: Another country club sport, he's rich. However he's usually under the impression it's socially acceptable to wear a polo shirt at all times of the day. Newsflash: it's not. You'll often find this prick bragging about all the famous courses he's played on while trying to repress his urge to sodomize himself with his golf club. Save it for when you're too fat to play a real sport, like our dads.

Crew: You're a Winklevii.

Track: They're like, no one's type.

Polo: Got rejected from Oxford, went to Newport Harbor High School, and due to being a closeted homosexual he gets turned on by horse boners.

Swimming: He shaves, gross.

Wrestling: Has a chode and severely repressed anger issues and quite possibly a Napoleon Complex. Wishes he were taller so he could've been a 'basketball star'. Instead he's stuck performing what seems like a homoerotic dance on a mat every day while attempting to conceal his boner. He may or may not have some sort of skin issues due to rolling around on mats that are rarely cleaned. See: your high school gym teacher.

So betches, if you encounter an athlete you should play it cool. There's something about great physical game that means it usually accompanies a scintillating mind game. Basketball Wives showed us that athletes are as dickish as they come and often have a hard time growing up. Remember, he might not go pro but he'll always be a bro.

 

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147 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    What about water polo players from California?

    Posted on Reply
  2. betch says:

    The douchiest and most toothless bros!

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    Did you seriously just say swimmers are gross? I guess you’ve never been to a swim meet or watched the Olympics. Hands down, the best bodies I’ve ever seen.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Purdue Betch says:

    Ladies I’m very disappointed in the IU pic. Purdue betches are deff hotter.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    “There’s something about a shin guard that makes me want to take my shirt off.” Hahahaha love it

    Posted on Reply
  6. evie says:

    really?

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    betches hello you forgot the key bro wanna be pro douchie sports…SKIING hockey and sailing. Whats better then a ski school man in a GS suit?

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    One sentence is cute for one sport, doing it for four is lazy. I guess betches not knowing anything about sports crossed over into not being able to write anything funnny about them either. And everyone knows that while the swimmer might shave, their bodies are fucking sculpted perfection, duh.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    HELLO BETCHES you may have forgotten one of the biggest douche bag sports of all.  Skiing.  What is better then a ski academy grad in a GS suit?  Also where are sailing and hockey.  Poor people don’t own boats. They clean them.

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    I’m sorry can we all please look at the fugly blonde girl in the picture that says “Purdue keeping ugly girls out of IU since 1869” Clearly, not true.

    Posted on Reply
  11. laxtitute says:

    chances are, the lax bro is from long island, maryland, or jersey. not fucking dc

    Posted on Reply
  12. Anonymous says:

    this one had real potential but such a let down…not your best

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    what about rugby?!

    Posted on Reply
  14. Anonymous says:

    I know betches should live in NYC, or the very least, DC, but there is something to be said for the California college betch. Especially if they go to UCLA or Berkeley—any betch at these schools will be assumed intelligent by the rest of the world, but lord knows she didn’t do any work during her 4 (to 7) years there. And given their proximity to the ocean and sunshine, we all have perfect, line-less tans year round, and are professional bro hunters.

    Which brings me to the sadly overlooked sport of water polo. Think of lax bros, but who never wear shirts (and no one’s complaining). Bro tanks with neon declarations regarding their loves of partying, betches, and maybe surfing (though I advise against it. Nothing says rejection like being turned down by your back burner at 2 am because he has to wake up for a swell that morning.) are the only acceptable means of upper torso coverage, and we better be able to see your abs and fuck-me cuts through the arm holes. Most travel in packs, recognizable by the swish and clop of board shorts and flip flops; they all look the same, but they rarely come close to pro territory so who really cares.

    Basically, while swimmers shave and for the most part stay indoors, water polo players are everything they should be; super cut, super tan, a little too cocky, and just smart enough to know a betch is always best.

    Posted on Reply
  15. Anonymous says:

    shittiest post ever. are the interns writing this? if so, pick better interns.

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    club sports dont count

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    Snow boarding/ Surfing betches?

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    Crew boys are definitely the hottest athletes on campus. Not only do they most likely always come from rich families and/or prep school, and have super hot bodies that can only come from being out on the water but they usually have a tan on their insanely toned arms and shoulders, and what is sexier than that? Also, unis are amazing.

    Posted on Reply
  19. Anonymous says:

    Where the fuck is rugby?

    Posted on Reply
  20. anonyous says:

    what about male gymnasts??

    Posted on Reply
  21. Anonymous says:

    They said Hockey. Fucking Canadians.

    Posted on Reply
  22. lacrosstitute says:

    There definitely is professional lacrosse in America - MLL. However, even the best players only make like $13K a year so unless they’re ah-mazing and have a million endorsements, they’re pros as well. Lacrosse is definitely the hottest sport.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Anonymous says:

    Rugby players ftw, they’re like football players, but with money since they Probs learned to play at prep school. Oh, and the number of them who have hot Australian, British, etc. Accents is higher than any other sport

    Posted on Reply
  24. Anonymous says:

    rugby guys are the definition of hot douche bags.  if you’ve ever been to one of their socials after the games, they get belligerently drunk and sing misogynistic songs that will make even the most cold girl cringe.  and then try to hook up with said girls.

    Posted on Reply
  25. Anon says:

    Why are we even talking about the midwest anyway? What does IU even stand for? Move to LA NY or London and get out

    Posted on Reply
  26. Anonymous says:

    What about rugby players?

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    as a high school rower i can totally verify this. too bad the usually only date girl rowers.

    Posted on Reply
  28. lyla bitch says:

    1. yes, lax is the hottest.
    2. yes, hockey boys need zero explanation.
    3. Purdue girls are hotter… IU bros just can’t get them, because they only sleep with pros.

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    “If you make the decision to date a college bro, they are the only acceptable ones.”

    Posted on Reply
  30. Anonymous says:

    The only polo Harbor guys play is water polo…

    Posted on Reply
  31. Anonymous says:

    seriously? lmfao

    Posted on Reply
  32. Anonymous says:

    Hockey: Canadian

    Posted on Reply
  33. laxho says:

    there is professional lax, theyre hot and rich. try the MLL for a hot lax bro who is getting paid to be a douche.

    Posted on Reply
  34. IU Betch says:

    Purdue Betch?  More like delusional betch…

    Posted on Reply
  35. Anonymous says:

    i second that, i can’t believe the betches forgot about (arguably) the hottest sport

    Posted on Reply
  36. Anonymous says:

    Seriously.  They need to edit this post to include them.

    Posted on Reply
  37. Anonymous says:

    I know you betches are all about #notdoingwork, but with a quick google search you could have discovered that there actually is a pro lacrosse league. Guess none of the lax bros you know are actually talented.

    Posted on Reply
  38. Hoosier says:

    don’t tell lies. rating scale in order of hotness from hot to not goes: IU, purdue, ball state, notre dame, isu

    Posted on Reply
  39. Anonymous says:

    Same. Swimmers have the best bodies in the world. Lean but toned and usually tanned from outdoor pools.

    Posted on Reply
  40. Anonymous says:

    are you saying that they usually only date girl rowers? ...if you are in high school and a rower why is that bad? are you a boy?

    Posted on Reply
  41. Anonymous says:

    There is also the NLL, which is box lacrosse. Salaries are usually higher than the MLL.

    Posted on Reply
  42. Anonymous says:

    What about rugby guys????

    Posted on Reply
  43. Anonymous says:

    what about queerleaders

    Posted on Reply
  44. betch says:

    anyone who’s ever stepped foot on IU’s campus would shit on your face for that comment. you should be ashamed

    Posted on Reply
  45. Anonymous says:

    Stick to what you know, betches. Which is clearly nothing about lacrosse or hockey players. And don’t even get me started on swimming, you definitely missed the mark on that one.

    This post had such potential….

    Posted on Reply
  46. Anonymous says:

    Water polo is for poor people. Notice how water polo took its name from polo. It’s polo’s sequel for people who think they are betches but really aren’t. If you play water polo, chances are that I play polo on horses that cost more than you and your water polo friend’s cars. And neon tanks are fckin disgusting unless you are going to day drink at a frat & it’s hot outside.

    Posted on Reply
  47. Anonymous says:

    and this site is starting to as well…. #interns?

    Posted on Reply
  48. Anonymous says:

    hahahaha crew: you’re a winklevii .... classic

    Posted on Reply
  49. All I want says:

    You forgot about vOlleyball players!

    Posted on Reply
  50. A lax playing betch says:

    Hate to break it to ya betches, but not only is there a professional lacrosse league in America (MLL), there are international teams that score these hot dudes that don’t want to do work AND travel the fucking world riding a lax stick.

    Posted on Reply
  51. anonymous says:

    the baseball one was severely lacking. clearly not from the west coast.

    Posted on Reply
  52. Socalbetch says:

    We definitely need some water polo representation! All over socal

    Posted on Reply
  53. Anonymous says:

    agreed, was a little shocked at that one

    Posted on Reply
  54. Anonymous says:

    “Golf: Another country club sport, he’s rich. However he’s usually under the impression it’s socially acceptable to wear a polo shirt at all times of the day. Newsflash: it’s not.”

    What kind of GDI bull is this? Polos, khakis, sperrys, croakies. Everyday. Stop dating poors.

    Posted on Reply
  55. Anonymous says:

    could not agree more with you on the potential loss

    Posted on Reply
  56. Anonymous says:

    duke lacrosse scandal was a hoax dipshit, do an ounce of research

    Posted on Reply
  57. Anonymous says:

    ew don’t forget about cauliflower ear. i went to one wrestling party in college and never went back they need to drain that shit.

    Posted on Reply
  58. Anonymous says:

    there’s so much more to be said about how hockey guys are the biggest douches and how they think that as soon as they reach AAA they’re going to be pros, which we all know rarely ever happens.

    Posted on Reply
  59. anonymous says:

    i just cried at the golf one. anyone who takes it more seriously than just using it to climb up the corporate ladder is a weirdo. you arent 50 yet.

    Posted on Reply
  60. Anonymous says:

    ugh thank you! everyone knows all lax bro’s are from the ny area. especially nj

    Posted on Reply
  61. TXbetch says:

    Betches know that walk-ons are the way to go.  1) they’re rich since they don’t need poor kids scholarships to go to school 2) they still have athletic talent and sick bods because they still do all the workouts and sometimes even play 3) they got into school on their own and therefore actually have brains… meaning they’ll be successful pros later in life.  Fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
  62. CAbetch says:

    yes your house may cost more than a water polo ball, but the reason you have to wear so many clothes while you play polo is to hide your disgusting body. While a horse is doing the work, my water polo boyfriends hot body doing all the work. Polo is for pussies

    Posted on Reply
  63. Kat says:

    IU!! Go Hoosiers!!!

    Posted on Reply
  64. Woman Scorned says:

    The word Canadian does not begin to encompass the exponential amount of doucheyness one will experience upon encountering a hockey bro. Not only do they possess the vocabulary of a mildly retarded 5th grader but most are barely classifiable as functionally illiterate and thus need to enlist the help of pucksluts to s their d’s and do their homework. If you find yourself waking up to a text from a dude who often refers to himself or his friends as absolute beauties or a studs and he refers to you as either babe or that broad I’m fucking…you’re sleeping with a hockey bro and he is probably boning at least 4 of your friends. So do yourself a favor and either start hooking up with one of his friends (cause they have no problem sharing) or go get yourself tested. Maybe do both.

    Posted on Reply
  65. Woman Scorned says:

    he word Canadian does not begin to encompass the exponential amount of doucheyness one will experience upon encountering a hockey bro. Not only do they possess the vocabulary of a mildly retarded 5th grader but most are barely classifiable as functionally illiterate and thus need to enlist the help of pucksluts to s their d’s and do their homework. If you find yourself waking up to a text from a dude who often refers to himself or his friends as absolute beauties or a studs and he refers to you as either babe or that broad I’m fucking…you’re sleeping with a hockey bro and he is probably boning at least 4 of your friends. So do yourself a favor and either start hooking up with one of his friends (cause they have no problem sharing) or go get yourself tested. Maybe do both.

    Posted on Reply
  66. Anonymous says:

    So true. Nothing is sexier than a crew boy with his uni on,and even the novices (in college, not high school) are hot

    Posted on Reply
  67. Anonymous says:

    loled at that… you obviously haven’t spent too much time around DC and its plethora of lax bros….

    Posted on Reply
  68. laxtothemax says:

    f no… do you live on planet bad lax pros? maryland/dc area is the mecca of all things “laxtitute”

    Posted on Reply
  69. anonymous betch. says:

    iu betches > everyone.

    especially purdue BITCHES.

    Posted on Reply
  70. Anonymous says:

    extremely disappointed that you would reference Duke Lacrosse to prove that “lax bros” are the “biggest douchebags in America”. That one line proves how much harder this site has been trying. Are you aware of the repercussions that arose from those accusations? Do you know where the accuser is right now? In jail on charges of arson and attempted murder. I get that this site is a parody but you crossed the line from snarky to just plain ignorant.

    Posted on Reply
    • agreed says:

      agreed.  the person who wrote this clearly has no idea what actually happened with that whole situation.  do some research.  the woman who falsely accused the players of raping her was indicted on a first-degree murder charge for stabbing and killing her boyfriend and two counts of larceny.  She also set fire to her home with her three kids inside. she’s the fucking nut job.  those “lax bros” you referenced were innocent. get your shit together.

      Posted on Reply
  71. Elle says:

    I know, whoever wrote this is not a true betch.  Swimmers have some of the hottest bros around!

    Posted on Reply
  72. Anonymous says:

    Shitty post, whoever wrote this better be tripping balls in candyland.  Swimmer bros are hot, no question.

    Posted on Reply
  73. Anonymous says:

    It’s a lot easier to #notfuckbros if they’re a football player (they’re like all fat besides the quarterback, ew) than a swimmer.

    Posted on Reply
  74. Anonymous says:

    When you said the polo players went to newport harbor I think you meant water polo wink

    Posted on Reply
  75. betch says:

    I’d love to hear the betches tear the alternative guys a new one… you know the BMX/skateboard/snowboard crew. I almost included surfers but tho poor and dumb, they’re usually pretty hot

    Posted on Reply
  76. betchofthemidwest says:

    Way to be a SIMPLE BETCH. NY, LA??? How fucking original. Aside from being simple, you are indeed ignorant.  Thousands of east coast JAPS (jewish american princesses) flock to IU… it’s like, the mecca of wealthy trust fund jew betches who have more money than you.

    And while I’m on one let’s clear this up.  The fexiest (fun/sexy) of betches go to Ball State.  Second place- IU JAPS, even though you all dress like you’re homeless and haven’t had a shower for days and your sunglasses and purse way more than you do.  Third- IU (general population).  Fourth- Purdue.  Or Pur-fucking-don’t.

    Posted on Reply
  77. Betch says:

    Bitter much?

    Posted on Reply
  78. Anonymous says:

    as a high school rower? this post is about college athletes.. so you wouldn’t really know would you

    Posted on Reply
  79. Anonymous says:

    This is entirely on point. Hockey bros are the worst…Unless the bro plays hockey AND lacrosse. Just go drown yourself in antiseptic afterward. That should do the trick.

    Posted on Reply
  80. Marissa says:

    You stop it and start getting some fashion sense.

    Posted on Reply
  81. Rugby Slut says:

    Yeah, rugby is a club sport but seriously hottest collective group of guys. And watching them play is even sexier….all super jacked, muscular arms/legs, short shorts, basically wrestling on the field. Have hooked up with several and would do more if it didn’t mean damaging my rep

    Posted on Reply
  82. Anonymous says:

    you are a genius

    Posted on Reply
  83. Anonymous says:

    You know what real men do? They drink. They fight. They chew tobacco. They like sharp objects and swinging clubs. That’s why real men play hockey, because you do every single one of those during a game of puck.

    Posted on Reply
  84. Anonymous says:

    SO true.. sailing team bros from georgetown/yale/harvard are the hottest

    Posted on Reply
  85. Anonymous says:

    omg the wrestling one, I can’t. so accurate

    Posted on Reply
  86. anonymous says:

    Jews don’t go to fucking mecca.
    And stop trying to make “fexy” happen.  Its not going to happen!

    Posted on Reply
  87. Karli says:

    They did mention so cal water polo players. Under polo they said they went to Newport harbor high. That’s in Newport beach California. I went there. Def hot and super homo with each other. Probably grew up to be a life guard.

    Posted on Reply
  88. Natty Boh Babe says:

    lax bros come from Baltimore and Annapolis, not DC. Fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
  89. Anonymous says:

    clearly you’re not from the west coast, because water polo is the football of California. It has nothing to do with being rich or poor, its just a sport full of hot 6-pack abs-sporting bros. What’s not to like about a ripped, tan douche bag?

    Posted on Reply
  90. Puck slut says:

    holy fuck so true

    Posted on Reply
  91. Julia says:

    Agreed. From OC/LA area, went to school in the midwest, and now finishing school in the south. LA and NY are such hot spots BECAUSE we’re orignial and innovative. It takes everyone else about 3 months to catch up. Leave it to some bumpkin ogre to write a huge fucking paragraph saying otherwise.

    Posted on Reply
  92. Anonymous says:

    literally just texted my 121. “casual” 18. fuck buddy before reading this and am now kicking myself. As you said these bros play mind games but it’s so hard to resist their perfectly toned bodies that we sometimes make the mistake of being unbetchy and not waiting for them to come to you…ugh.

    Posted on Reply
  93. Anonymous says:

    so do low-lifes

    Posted on Reply
  94. Anonymous says:

    For us British betches you forgot rugby… the most arrogant and elitist bros out there i.e. the most appealing. Apart from the scrum halves, obv. And if you don’t understand you’ve obviously never travelled, ew povvo.

    Posted on Reply
  95. Anonymous says:

    Lax bros 100% come from long island.

    Posted on Reply
  96. Anonymous says:

    but seriously, rugby boys are by far the hottest. tallest, nicest bodies, and always wealthy because they obvs went to private school and private colleges. way better than football guys. fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
  97. Letch the Betch says:

    That definition could not be more accurate. From a betches personal experience hockey bros are by far the worst.

    Posted on Reply
  98. Lax says:

    the duke lacrosse boys are innocent so thats just incorrect.

    Posted on Reply
  99. Anonymous says:

    “sunglasses and purse way more than you do?” Atleast we LA betches know correct grammar…I think you mean weigh

    Posted on Reply
  100. motchy23 says:

    Hey ya fuckin clown. You said hockey players are probably boning 4 other broads? Thats cuz we got fuckin wheels unlike you other dusters.

    Posted on Reply
  101. Anonymous says:

    Not only did this post suck in general, but I’m appalled at the basketball assumption: “likely from the hood”. That statement isn’t betchy. Moreover, considering college basketball players can get recruited after their freshman year, and to a professional league that has actual notoriety, they seem like the real “pros”. Enjoy your lax bro’s chode betch.

    Posted on Reply
  102. Anonymous says:

    Guys wouldn’t get horse boners IN THE FUCKING WATER… I’m at harbor now and still not getting the polo reference… We’ve never even had a team, am I wrong?

    Posted on Reply
  103. Anonymous says:

    Sorry you’re poor and your greek system sucks. IU is GDI land.

    Posted on Reply
  104. Anonymous says:

    Your an idiot and probably go to Ball State.

    Posted on Reply
  105. Anonymous says:

    Like… Im pretty sure that lax bro on the right goes to my school cuz Im pretty sure I hooked up with him at a party…. needless to say athletes are hot ass douches, but mainly HOT. As long as we can disregard their douchey-ness long enough to hook up we betches will have fun and be fine, Mwah!

    Posted on Reply
  106. Anonymous says:

    They just look good every day of the week. Don’t hate the preppies. Just my type <3

    Posted on Reply
  107. Anonymous says:

    HEllo? Volleyball??

    Those guys are tall, sexy, responsible and nice.

    Posted on Reply
  108. Anonymous says:

    I agree. It totally ruined these boys futures who were PROVEN INNOCENT

    Posted on Reply
  109. how to get rid of acne says:

    They did mention so cal water polo players. Under polo they said they went to Newport harbor high. That’s in Newport beach California. I went there. Def hot and super homo with each other. Probably grew up to be a life guard. [url=“http://www.igetridofacne.blogspot.com/”]best acne products
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    Posted on Reply
  110. Regina says:

    @Marissa go back to the Jersey Shore. If you’re not dating a fratdaddy, you might as well be dating the greaser oven cook from Waffle House.

    Posted on Reply
  111. Anonymous says:

    Those two lacrosse players are F’n ugly.  Look at the one dude’s pale arms

    Posted on Reply
  112. Anonymous says:

    rower boys pack heat! + the height and 8-packs don’t hurt.

    Posted on Reply
  113. Jlee says:

    Haha, love it, especially what you said about wrestlers! smile

    “Has a chode and severely repressed anger issues and quite possibly a Napoleon Complex.” LMFAO!

    http://jleesblog.com

    Posted on Reply
  114. Anonymous says:

    not true. try a few dc private high schools…you’ll find your lax bros. no one at dc public schools goes to college.

    Posted on Reply
  115. Laxer says:

    Not True at all. Douche lax bros come from LI. Everyone knows that. Aside from the Indians originating lax. It all started in the catholic schools of Baltimore. Duh

    Posted on Reply
  116. Laxer says:

    Not True at all. Douche lax bros come from LI. Everyone knows that. Aside from the Indians originating lax. It all started in the catholic schools of Baltimore. Duh

    Posted on Reply
  117. Anonymous says:

    Priceless. Just thought I’d add that rugby bros could top the list for dumbest athletes ever. Like probably worse than football players

    Posted on Reply
  118. Clay says:

    I’m a track kid and i pull like McCoy

    Posted on Reply
  119. dcbetch says:

    you obviously have never been to dc, nor have met someone from dc because lax bros are everywhere here. the ones from maryland that play lax are usually from the area right next to dc and northern va. on a side note, soccer guys=sexiest guys.

    Posted on Reply
  120. So true says:

    Hockey players are not all canadiens, but the might as well be, theyre usually dumb as bricks and apparently are into the gang bang but for some reason they are like all so effing hot.

    And is it just me or are there a bunch of people from socal who are in denial of how absolutely un-betchy water polo is.  If i wanted to date a guy who wears speedos.. oh wait no i would never do that. so lame.

    Posted on Reply
  121. Anonymous says:

    There is pro-lax.

    Posted on Reply
  122. Anonymous says:

    swimmers only shave for big competitions, and most of them, if not all of them, would rather not. i don’t see what the big deal is.

    either way, being shaved has its benefits. no one likes a sasquatch.

    Posted on Reply
  123. Rae says:

    Agreed! Hockey players are fcking hot as hell. Ripped, fast and most likely from a foreign country. Lovelovelove hockey players.

    Posted on Reply
  124. Anon says:

    No one plays polo in Newport…they play water polo.

    Posted on Reply
  125. aw says:

    since when was there no such thing as pro lax players?

    Posted on Reply
  126. Josh says:

    I think you should recheck this information, you’ll see that a lot of public school students actually go to college. In fact I was one of them and now I am on my way of getting my online leadership degree.

    Posted on Reply
  127. Missy says:

    I’d say 80% of this is all wrong. I give this blog an F

    Posted on Reply
  128. Anonymous says:

    oh god no. please, there is definitely something off with a guy that shaves as often as me. it just seems wrong for both the male and female to be extremely feminine, unless you rather encompass the masculine role?
    obviously swimmers have a good body, but that’s not the point. most athletes do for that matter. as a result, one must look at the logistics of their sport.

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  129. hha says:

    Rugby? See “frat bro’s”. Not an American Sport. Just an excuse to get muddy and drink cheap keg beer heavily in some dirty dive bar in cleats while singing dirty songs.

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  130. Anonymous says:

    I will definitely have to go with the polo players, they really were the stars back in our college. I have a behavioral analysis degree now and I also have some experience with people, I would go with the polo players.

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  131. Anonymous says:

    male swimmers do NOT shave as often as you… and if this is the case you should shave more. 
    They hands down have the best bodies, and aren’t dumpy like the sports where you can be fat (football, lax, hockey). Sure they eat incessantly, but you would to if you were that ripped.

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  132. max says:

    left out some good sports- boxing, discus, pole vault

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  133. Long island betche says:

    I’m from Long Island and I thought i knew lax bros until I went to college in Maryland. Real lax bros are from the Baltimore/Annapolis/DC area.

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  134. Phillylaxtitute says:

    All you betches forgot that the Philly area is also a lacrosse hotbed. Douchey bros can mainly be found in the Inter-Ac schools and public schools along the Mainline

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  135. thissitesucks says:

    besides being not funny, this site is also unoriginal. broslikethissite.com was in existence long before this fraud of a site. Also, bros wouldnt touch 90% of you so called “betches.” You can buy all of the lily pulitzer you want with daddy’s credit card, but it wont make you hot. sorry.

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  136. Betch says:

    College Sailors should have been mentioned. Check out the Georgetown, Yale and Harvard Sailing Teams. These bros are not only hot and waspy, but go to the Olympics.

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  137. lol says:

    what a shitty post. crew should have a better explanation because they are DEFINITELY the hottest and generally tallest. and they are usually foreign or have some kind of accent. lacrosse and rugby are probably next hottest. football guys are usually fat, ew, and who cares if swimmers shave? they have the most ripped bodies generally

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