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By The Betches on

Betch Factor: 9.5 The Betch Who Lives There: is chill but oh so intense. Who cares if Kate Winslet is in line at Coffee Bean behind you? So what if you mupload? You definitely won't ask what it was like when Jack let go like a stupid fucking New Yorker would. Every LA betch is a celeb wannabe but she's also like, so over it. Everyone who's anyone has some connection to a celeb like, "my drug dealer is the Kardashian's brother's drug dealer!" or "I party with Rumer Willis." (Ew.)

The LA betch went to Brentwood, Crossroads or Harvard-Westlake for high school and dresses hipster chic, except when it's frigid at 60 degrees so she wears boots and a winter jacket. She drives a Range Rover, but maybe her dad just got her a Prius to go with the organic dining hall he donated for her at USC, which she'll never #5 eat in because she's too busy getting DUIs.

conanWeed must be better in Cali

 

LA betches love to say they're from LA because it automatically means that they're better than everyone. LA is one of the few cities where it's betchier to actually live in it than just outside of it. Call me when the combined property on your street is worth more than Paraguay. Would anyone want to watch a show called Omaha: 68104? Only if it's about knocked-up tweens and called Teen Mom 2. A Betch Who Visits Should: be around for Coachella in Palm Springs, where every betch gets decked out in Indie clothing and stays in nice resorts and takes Polaroids and "appreciates" the music. Go to Cross Creek in the 'bu in the summer, Katsuya for the betchiest sushi around, and try to spot celebs at Urth Cafe, Lemonade or Toast. (Really, what's next? Breakfast at Omelette? Lunch at Air? Dinner at Ranch Dressing?)

Pretend to do yoga on Montana in Santa Monica but really just wear Lululemon and get your nails done.

After talking about the downward dog with your manicurist, you'll get some froyo. It'll be easy to find because LA is filled with fucking Pinkberry and its imitators. If LA is Pinkberry with its trendy and expensive "healthy" froyo, New York is Tasti-D-Lite with its 11 health violations, homeless hobos sleeping outside the door, and workers taking mandatory Prozac.

 

fame

 

Shop on Melrose for the alternative betch, Robertson for the classic betch, or Rodeo Drive for the betch who wants to take pics of herself with a street sign. Go #20 clubbing on Sunset or in Hollywood or anywhere Lauren Conrad would go. A drunk betch might think about late-night eating at the food trucks in Venice.

The Betch Who Moves There: goes straight for the medical marijuana clinic. But I'm prescribed! The Betch Avoids: traffic. Everywhere in LA takes twenty minutes! Or does it? Would've gotten a 10 if not for: the lack of people keeping it real. Everyone in LA is so fucking nice all the time, or at least pretends to be. You know how we feel about nice girls. There's the #41 fake smile, and then there's LA, where almost everyone you see has had surgery to make their fake smile permanent, like Adrienne Maloof, or the Joker.

 

<< Betchography: Philadelphia

Betchography: New York City >>

145 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. chickk says:

    IS THIS A JOKE who cares about LA betches, EVERYONE knows the ultimate definition of a betch is a FUCKING NEW YORKER. Get a grip

    Posted on Reply
  2. Sienna says:

    Agreed. NY betches are the betchiest of the betches. Obvs.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    seriously .. wtf is this.. maybe you could have bashed new york one more time in the article about la

    Posted on Reply
  4. LABetchForLife says:

    Bitch please. LA is where it’s at, New Yorkers.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    finallyy. pure perfection.

    Posted on Reply
  6. Jen-Jen says:

    You can’t avoid traffic. A betch just makes everyone come to where she is. And being fake nice is part of being a betch, otherwise, you’re just a bitch.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    Must agree. New York is the betchiest place on the planet.

    Posted on Reply
  8. newyorker says:

    This is seriously one of the worst posts yet.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    New York over everything. Sorry for you.

    Posted on Reply
  10. A true New York Betch says:

    LA is most def the capitol of bethcey wannabes. Anyone who lives there is just trying to hard to be a betch. Furthermore LA betches have absolutely no class…at all. Everyone knows that New York is where true betches live, not anyone can get into the betchy upper echelon of the New York hierachy. Is there an LA fashion week, perhaps, but like who cares. LA is just…ew.

    Sorry i’m not sorry.

    Posted on Reply
  11. whatevs says:

    Calm down, sluts. A real betch has property in New York for the summer then heads over to LA before the first leaf falls of a fucking tree. You don’t choose between New York and LA, you do both.

    Posted on Reply
    • Mia says:

      totes true. the bicoastal betch always wins.

      Posted on Reply
  12. K says:

    Pinkberry was over 5 years ago though.

    Posted on Reply
  13. larua says:

    I grew up in LA and went to Brentwood high school. Im a HUGE fucking betch. But honestly this article is toatlly accurate. Girls in LA are fake as their moms tits. And they all have USC dads who donate shit to their shit

    Posted on Reply
  14. Jess says:

    HAHAHAHAHA.  Betches never said LA was better than NY, why is everyone freaking out?  I’m from LA and this post was really great, thanks Betches!

    Posted on Reply
  15. Anonymous says:

    the betchest girls are the ones who run NY and decide to take their talents to LA

    Posted on Reply
  16. J says:

    Hell yes! The truest betch is bi-coastal by 25.

    Posted on Reply
  17. yaaaaaaaaaaybetch says:

    why no mention of the mound coke on the coffee table at EVERY pregame?

    Posted on Reply
  18. LaLaLAND says:

    Team Tupac ... Los Angeles is the betchiest. #westcoastlove

    Posted on Reply
  19. east coast betch says:

    while LA and New York are both betchy..the classic betch hails from none other than New york. Betchiness just comes naturally to the east coast betches and theres no other way to say it. LA has its perks but the betches are just fake and slutty. like, we’re so much closer to Europe.

    Posted on Reply
  20. Erica says:

    this is funnyyy. its nothing against new yorkers its actually MAKING FUN of people who live in los angeles hahah. i live in los angeles and i know so many betches like this wow. new yorkers, dont worry you guys have betches too, realer ones! chill out!

    Posted on Reply
  21. Bitching Betch says:

    Flip flops and hobo bags are hardly fashion, LA is not betchy. New York invented betchy & New York is pretty much is fashion capital of the USA. You betches are insane. Plus there aren’t any Ivy League school out west, have fun at community college & pre-gaming with your parents.

    Posted on Reply
  22. Anonymous says:

    all true betches are from nyc plan and simple. la is for wannabes.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Jen-Jen says:

    Have fun suiting up in your long underwear in a month!

    Posted on Reply
  24. Rachel. says:

    Nice to see all the other betches agree. There’s no place as betchy as New York,....

    Posted on Reply
  25. Anonymous says:

    “Robertson for the classic betch” ... so fucking true. Lunch at The Ivy then shopping at Kitson is my go-to in LA. But but but, I have to disagree with the line about living in LA being better than living just outside of it… OC is where it’s at betches. I can practically guarantee that the combined property value on my street is at least double that of Paraguay.  Plus, we def have all the same great attributes of the Angelitos (minus the poor-sounding Mexican nickname), like being connected to a celebrity in some way or another, the great froyo shops, and the laid-back lifestyle. Plus, we’re all conservatives (fucking duh) and not dumb ass libs, and have more vacay homes and hotspots. 
    Whatevs.

    Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      OC? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I don’t care about your mcmansion lineups and South Coast, give us Disneyland and secede from CA in general plz.

      Posted on Reply
      • You don't need to know says:

        Agreed. OC is for the trashy betch whose greatest aspiration is to have her own show on Bravo and be besties with Taylor Armstrong.

        Posted on Reply
  26. Anonymous says:

    def not. you can’t even consider yourself a betch if this is you. you should already have enough connections to make your talents known before you become a nobody by moving to LA with no idea of what you’re getting yourself into.

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    Wow. What makes Stanford, USC, and UCLA worse than the Ivies? This is LA, not fucking Milwaukee. Get your facts straight bitch.

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    I think New york breeds Betches but a betch can appreciate the exclusivity and candy that LA has to offer.

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    Generally these posts are amazing but lately there has been a serious lack of substance. I’m sorry but why on earth is there no post about NYC? You realize hippy chic is not Betch right? (and ew, no one wants to mupload a photo of Kate Winslet at Coffee Bean). This site is getting more liberal as I type. You are beginning to further prove the trade-off relationship between quantity and quality. Choose wisely Betchs… I sense the winds of change.

    -A true northeastern betch

    Posted on Reply
  30. Anonymous says:

    That’s right, LA has the classiest betches. Everyone is skinny because we actually see the sun more than 3 months a year unlike new York betches so betches are in bikinis all year long. Prettiest and skinniest and tannist betches around

    Posted on Reply
  31. Anon says:

    NYC is where it’s at! Nothing could ever make me leave

    Posted on Reply
  32. bitchy betch says:

    All the new yorkers need to chill the fuck out. If you need to constantly remind everyone how betchy you are, you’re not. And “ny invented betchiness?” Could you be more of a tool? Get back to me when you have better things to do than “inventing betchiness”. Until then I’ll be eating froyo in la and not ruining my tory burch boots in the dirty snow and rain of ny.

    Posted on Reply
  33. Anonymous says:

    the fact that this many people care “which is better” is unbetchy in itself. stop caring so much.

    Posted on Reply
  34. Anonymous says:

    Love the post, but you forgot some of the betchiest things about LA:
    - Calling off work in February to go to the beach. Lets face it, EVERY Sunday is Tan Your Back Sunday. Theres never an excuse to be pale in LA.
    - No one does BSCB’s like LA. Look at Lindsey Lohan.
    - Weekend trips to Vegas

    You definitely got the Prius thing right.

    Posted on Reply
  35. El Lay says:

    There’s a reason for the BEST COAST being the WEST COAST.
    El lay, the prettiest people, places, faces, and best iced coffee in the world.

    When one thinks of New York, pretty wouldn’t come to mind, ever.

    Posted on Reply
  36. toptierbetch says:

    Whats with all the fucking BSCB tearing apart every post for not being “betchy” enough? are you crazy sluts kidding? if you think your opinions on whats betchy matters so much go start betcheslovethis.com.  oh wait…........

    Posted on Reply
  37. Nasty says:

    Thas how dis betch does it, but vice-versa. Seasons are so cute.

    Posted on Reply
  38. Anonymous says:

    Of course LA is where it’s at, has Serena ever looked prettier than she does in the Los Angeles episodes? I didn’t think so.
    No mention of the Brentwood Country Mart though? Come on betches, get with it. And you can’t miss the Beach Club…

    Posted on Reply
  39. this article is poor says:

    I’m in a taxi in new york and I almost threw my blackberry out the window when reading this, which further solidifies why NY’ers are bitchier because #1. Then I’d just go buy a rich I-phone and #2 then all my manpieces would inevitably think I’m ignoring them whie I’m inbetween phones because I’m hotter than they are and I don’t care

    Posted on Reply
  40. Anonymous says:

    close, but no one spends the fucking summer in new york.. nice try

    Posted on Reply
  41. Anonymous says:

    All you new york “betches” obvi care too much. Get fucking over it and go watch gossip girl.

    Posted on Reply
  42. Anonymous says:

    Umm Cali or nothing, thanks though new york

    Posted on Reply
  43. Anonymous says:

    Why are you hooking up with hideous men? You’re clearly fug.

    Posted on Reply
  44. Anonymous says:

    Ew darling OC is so trash.  When your daddy gets a real job, ask him to bump you guys into the city.

    Posted on Reply
  45. Anonymous says:

    Ew blackberry?  Really?  Still?  And a cab?  Darling, try a car service.

    Posted on Reply
  46. Anonymous says:

    if by prettiest you meant fake tits, fake piss colored hair and ugly messes made by too much plastic surgery .. by alllll means “el lay” is the prettiest .. but by normal standards you guys are a fucking joke .. the rest of the country laughs at you

    have fun with your earthquakes and mudslides ill take my snow anyday over those.

    Posted on Reply
  47. Newyork says:

    Until there is a post about how amazing NYC is I refuse to read this site. I am over u betches. PEACE OUTIE

    Posted on Reply
  48. Anonymous says:

    literally spot on. obsessed.

    Posted on Reply
  49. Anonymous says:

    Lindsay Lohan’s from Long Island

    Posted on Reply
  50. LABETCH says:

    To all of you “betches” saying that New York is betchier than LA….GET FUCKING REAL. Maybe the Upper East Side is betchier than LA because your socks are fucking Burberry. But in LA, WE DONT EVEN NEED SOCKS BECAUSE OUR WEATHER IS PERFECT ALL YEAR ROUND… JUST LIKE US #TRUEBETCHES

    Posted on Reply
  51. truestbetchever says:

    A true betch doesnt give a fuck where she is. Shes just a betch 24/7 at all times. the question shouldnt be ny or la.. it should be beverly hills or newport beach #duhbetches.

    Posted on Reply
  52. OCBETCH says:

    #TRUTH #NEWPORTBETCH

    Posted on Reply
  53. Anonymous says:

    Im patiently waiting to see Newport RI featured in betchography. If a betch has ever been there, she would know that it’s one of the betchiest towns in the US.

    Posted on Reply
  54. NewYawk B says:

    It is fine if you [head betches] are from LA and want to represent your city. Power to ya! Sounds pretty betchy smile but seriously absolutely NO need to bash NYC… get someone who lives in NY to post about it and all of it ‘s amaza-f*ing-goodness.. A betch who is not from/ or lives in NY may still be a betch but just not a NYBETCH ...obvi the best kind. Really tho this is just proof that one of the best things about NYC is u don’t realize how simply amazing it is until you actually live there..and never ever want to leave

    Posted on Reply
  55. Bicoastal says:

    Mansion in Beverly Hills and penthouse in NYC… Why is everyone freaking out both cities have redeeming qualities, it’s ignorant to choose one over the other.

    Posted on Reply
  56. get a grip says:

    no one actually eats at the ivy or shops at kitson. what are you, a 2005 issue of People?

    Posted on Reply
  57. LA? Really? says:

    You all care way too much.

    Posted on Reply
  58. brow says:

    NYC babbbbbbyyyy

    Posted on Reply
  59. thisbitch says:

    um yes they do hahaha its called The Hamptons..poor deprived betch

    Posted on Reply
  60. Northeastern Betch says:

    Everyone knows a true Betch comes from NYC. I’m from Boston, and though this site fucking ripped us apart I definitely have to side with NYC as being the home of the betches. Have you ever fucking watched an episode of Gossip Girl? Or seen Cruel Intentions? Katharine DEFINED Betchiness and was as NYC as it gets. LA= dumb biddies.

    I can, to some extent, understand that LA betches are pretty hot (in a trying too hard kind of way) but New York betches have the looks and the attitude. There is nothing like a New York attitude and LA girls couldnt imitate it if they tried. NYC is for purebred, naturally beautiful (without the aid of plastic fucking surgery and spray tans), and inherently smart betches. LA is for Audrina fucking Partridge and playboy playmates. Blair Waldorf’s of the world…. u-fucking-nite.

    REAL LA Betch Factor: 5

    Posted on Reply
  61. Anonymous says:

    Right….and no one knew her there.

    Posted on Reply
  62. Anonymous says:

    iPhones aren’t rich babe…betches are

    Posted on Reply
  63. skinny says:

    hahah i like this betch

    Posted on Reply
  64. Anonymous says:

    love this comment. so betchy

    Posted on Reply
  65. Jen-Jen says:

    If NYC betches are SOOOO fucking pretty, then why do we constantly have to hear how many single women there are in NYC and how there are no men. No men = complaint coming from an ugly chick.

    Posted on Reply
  66. Anonymous says:

    This article is so accurate.

    However, you guys should have mentioned how LA betches hate people who say they are from “LA” when they really are from Reseda, Pasedena, Agoura…or anywhere of that sort. Come on, we all know that anything that isn’t Beverly Hills, Hollywood, Westwood, Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu Isn’t actually Los Angeles…sorry vals…

    Posted on Reply
    • Anon says:

      Actually, the Valley is a part of the city of Los Angeles, look it up. And obvi someone can’t say they’re a betch and be from Reseda or Pasadena regardless, that’s a fucking oxymoron and we hate things that confuse us. But you can’t actually forget about Studio City, Encino/Sherman Oaks, and espesh Calabasas. Hello Kardashian’s, B. Spears, J. Biebs, and like a million betches.

      Posted on Reply
    • Anon says:

      I’m an LA betch and threw up a little when you tossed Pasadena in with Reseda and Agoura… I don’t actually know what those are, but they sound disgusting and I am personally offended by that comment even though I’m from the westside. While LA is for betches, Pasadena is for WASBs- every gorg debutante with a summer house in the south of France and a dad who just became a name partner lives in Pasadena.

      Posted on Reply
    • Your Name says:

      If you’re referring to the above argument, it’s not a lie. Every betch knows the Westside is for betches and Pasadena is for WASBs. Every other part of LA is irrelevant to betchography.

      Posted on Reply
      • Anon says:

        Minus the fact that Pasadena is now trying to shed its WASBy image with the Lemonade/Urth/Soulcycle/Equinox/Lulu/Barre Class/Pressed combo… which they seriously shouldn’t because I literally hear girls talking about how they’re juice cleansing to fit into their debutante dress which is probably the WASBiest thing ever.

        Posted on Reply
  67. Anonymous says:

    LOVE! Newport till the end betches!!!

    Posted on Reply
  68. Anonymous says:

    I’m talking Newport, not Coto de Caza. Fucking duhhh

    Posted on Reply
  69. Anonymous says:

    CAMPBELL HALL SHOULD BE ADDED TO THAT LIST…Elle and Dakota both came out of that school

    Posted on Reply
  70. Over It says:

    How will you know if there’s a NYC post if you quit reading?

    Posted on Reply
  71. West Coast Best Coast says:

    all of you northeast bitches are so fucking stupid. you hate yourselves, you hate everyone else, and you talk shit on all of your friends. no one likes you because you are a fake, unoriginal, carbon-copy of every other bitch you are friends with. in the movie legally blonde, where is the hot, blonde girl that goes to harvard law from? oh that’s right, cali. where is the ugly bitch vivian from? oh, stick-up-the-ass, connecticut i believe. and in the words of elle woods, “i like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, i try not to look so constipated.”

    Posted on Reply
  72. Northeastern Betch says:

    Because NYC betches refuse to settle. We don’t want an eating disorder forced upon us by a man, we prefer to push it upon ourselves! NYC betches have far more repect for ourselves than to settle for stupid wannabe pros. We only go for the creme de la creme of Wall street. Unlike LA betches who go for any porn producer….eeek, the horor!

    Posted on Reply
  73. Anonymous says:

    fucking duh. newport for life <3

    Posted on Reply
  74. Jen-Jen says:

    Actually Dakota Fanning went to Notre Dame in Sherman Oaks (the valley). Fact check yourself.

    Full disclosure I’m from Calabasas (Kardassian territory) but it’s fairly betchy there. Lot’s of skinny, rich and superficial betches with lots of candy. But it’s true, westsiders rule L.A. and thank goodness I’m engaged to a Beverly Hills Pro.

    Posted on Reply
    • Anon says:

      Excuse me, you need to check YOUR facts. I have a mil friends who went to Campbell Hall WITH Dakota and Elle… I went to their graduation and saw her get her diploma with everyone else. No betch would ever go to Notre Dame…

      Posted on Reply
  75. Jen-Jen says:

    Nevermind- was thinking of KiKi Dunst. Yet, Campbell Hall is also (gasp) in the val.

    Posted on Reply
  76. westcoastbestcoast says:

    New York…..don’t hate just because we’re skinnier, prettier, and better at life than you are. We’re just bigger and better. And we all know bigger is better.

    Posted on Reply
  77. sdgjkhd says:

    this is perfect

    Posted on Reply
  78. NYC says:

    New York- concrete jungle where dreams are made of- nuttin you can do.

    Posted on Reply
  79. Anonymous says:

    People in Calabasas may have money, and be skinny, but Calabasas is the VAL therefore, it is not betchy.

    1) Property: Property is cheap in the valley. A lot of “rich” betches in Calabasas may live in a 6,00 square foot mansion that cost 2-3 mill. Hate to break it to you Val “betches”, but if you’re so rich, you’d be living living in a house on the westside. You can’t even buy a small house in Santa Monica, Pacific Palisades, Malibu, Bev Hills, or Venice for under 1.2 mill. Desirable land=MONEY.

    2) Shopping/ Restaurants: The Val is made up of ugly development malls. Betches that live on the westside..aka…Los Angeles, have easy access to the best of the best in clothes (Ron Herman, Planet Blue LF) / food (Urth, Cafe Vida, Blue Plate). Lemme think…whats a betchy boutique in the Val…oh wait there are none…unless you’re looking for tacky diamond clothes.

    3) Weather: Lets be honest. It SUCKS. It’s way too hot to the point where you have to sit inside your cheap mansion with the AC on blast.


    Val betches can argue all they want, but think about think for a second:
    Whats more common, for a Val to go to the westside, or for a Wesider to go the val. Answer: Vals will come to the westside, but westsiders will never go to the val….unless they have a good fucking reason to.

    <3

    Posted on Reply
  80. Anonymous says:

    Obvi you’ve never been to this county because it is far from trash. Quit watching reality tv and actually make a trip down to Newport Beach, Dana Point, or San Clemente. Only the hottest boutiques the best beaches and gorgeous guys live here. Sucks to suck you live in some middle of nowhere hick town

    Posted on Reply
  81. Anonymous says:

    It’s not really fair to generalize LA girls, yeah there are a lot of whores with implants and balloon lips but they’re just really good material for all of the real LA betches to talk shit about. Which we do, while tanning and wearing tiny clothing .....year round in fabulous weather. This post sucked, but because it’s badly written, not because of its subject

    Posted on Reply
  82. AG BETCH says:

    i am a born and raised betch from L.A. and just moved to NYC….both are betch as fuck.

    Posted on Reply
  83. Anonymous says:

    Darling, reality TV is for poor people who try too hard.  My family has a vacation house down there, I refuse to go anymore.  Parts of it are gorgeous, obv, but no thanks.

    Posted on Reply
  84. Anonymous says:

    Class?  Fucking please.

    Posted on Reply
  85. Anonymous says:

    please stop referring to other posters as “darling”. it’s not fucking cute when you get caught trying too hard to fit into your own twisted idea of chic.

    Posted on Reply
  86. USCBETCH says:

    the hamptons and manhattan are not actually the same place. at all. you must be from boston. or philly. or the midwest. or somewhere else irrelevant.

    Posted on Reply
  87. betch from the best coast says:

    Betches in NY pay their bills. LA betches run up their debt. Like I can just charge it and marry an old guy tee hee.

    Posted on Reply
  88. LA girls are naive says:

    Running up debt does not define you as being so called “rich”. I do not envy your massive debts. You are not high fashion you are just plain guady!

    Posted on Reply
  89. Anonymous says:

    Couldn’t love this more.

    Posted on Reply
  90. Caroline says:

    We DO NOT! DO NOT! DO NOT! eat at food trucks, nor do we go to Venice. Montana is for pussies, and LC = SBE which does not = equal LA betches. Urth Cafe, Lemonade or Toast should be Urth Cafe, Joan’s or Fred Segal resto on Melrose (NOT SM) .... LA Betches don’t go to USC, that’s where OC girls go. LA betches go to Ivy League schools, just like all other betches. Our parents may donate to USC but they also donate to Stephen S Wise and they no one in their family goes there either. “whatevs” is 100% accurate - a real LA betch is bicoastal by the age of 4 ... Betchiness runs in the family.

    Posted on Reply
  91. JO says:

    I’m from LA, lmao I died laughing, haha “kanye shrug*

    Posted on Reply
  92. Anonymous says:

    “We DO NOT! DO NOT! DO NOT! eat at food trucks, nor do we go to Venice. Montana is for pussies, and LC = SBE which does not = equal LA betches. Urth Cafe, Lemonade or Toast should be Urth Cafe, Joan’s or Fred Segal resto on Melrose (NOT SM) .... LA Betches don’t go to USC, that’s where OC girls go. LA betches go to Ivy League schools, just like all other betches. Our parents may donate to USC but they also donate to Stephen S Wise and they no one in their family goes there either. “whatevs” is 100% accurate - a real LA betch is bicoastal by the age of 4 ... Betchiness runs in the family.” -Caroline

    What area of Los Angeles are you from? You clearly don’t know you’re shit.

    Posted on Reply
  93. Anonymous says:

    I think it’s funny how people seem to think ivy leagues are betchy. Yeah a betch that got into an ivy most likely had to be rich, which is betchy, but majority of girls who go to ivy leagues are NOT betchy. They consist of duds who have never drank before, and def weren’t hooking up with bros in high school. If they did drink in high school, the first time they got drunk was most likely alone…or with a group of girls. (However, Of course there are exceptions)

    MOST LA betches go to a party school or city school;
    Public Schools: LA Betches who choose a public college choose ones that are at at least ranked in the top 100, and are big party schools (which often tend to be out of state). A decent amount of LA kids go to these schools every year which somewhat prevents us from #branching out.
    UCSB, MICHIGAN, WISCONSIN, CU BOULDER, UT AUSTIN
    If the school is private it’s usually a city school, greek life school:
    BU, USC, LMU, USD, GW, SMU

    Posted on Reply
  94. Anonymous says:

    Cafe Vida in Pacific Palisades should have been mentioned.

    Posted on Reply
  95. Anonymous says:

    every single fucking one of us you’re sooooo right!  dumb ass hoe.

    Posted on Reply
  96. Anonymous says:

    Are you retarded?  The girls that go to city schools peaked in high school, which, in my opinion, is not betchy at all.  Betch for LIFE, not just til you hit 20.

    Posted on Reply
  97. youknowme says:

    I’m a new york bred betch and spend time in Newport and LA…several times a year. When I’m out there, my #westcoastbesties and i road-trip to tan in PS, smoke weed in Vegas hotel hallways, and basically don’t give a fuck about anything else except what flavor our fro-yo is going to be and whether or not we’re going to add kiwi AND strawberries to it that day.  decisions, fucking decisions.  Newport and Laguna (OC) are actually really fucking nice.  I spent my latest birthday having a two week celebration (starting in NY, ending in so-cal) and while I shopped in Santa Monica the actual day at Fred Segal to contemplate all of my opening ceremony outfits I flew from back east…I dined at the Four Seasons in Laguna at night.  And LA is the shit. so stfu.  Nothing says memories like doing blow at Marmont in my teens and failing at #notfuckingcelebs.  Nothing will ever touch Manhattan or #eastcoast, but any place where a BMI of 10.0 or less is considered healthy is okay in my book.  Later losers

    Posted on Reply
  98. Anonymous says:

    too betchy to give a fuck about arguing with any of these posts. please girls. get a grip.

    Posted on Reply
  99. Betch J says:

    LA LA LAND is a 9.5 because NEW YORK CITY IS A 12. The City breeds the most upper crust Betches in the world. Hello Blair Waldorf, exhibit A. Tri- state betches do it better. So you can go shave you back now…

    Posted on Reply
  100. E says:

    New York stop hating because you are so angry & cold all the time.


    Also, spot on about the food trucks.They are betchy in a way only cali can handle!

    Posted on Reply
  101. E says:

    this should def be mentioned

    Posted on Reply
  102. Newps Resident says:

    TRASH?! If you’re hanging around in the Newport clubs all night sure, but if you know where the real money is at you’ll be and yacht/boat parties, huge mansion parties, riding horses, driving astons, and flying on your private jet. sorry - doesn’t get better than that.

    Remember, a mercedes is just a ‘newport chevy’

    Posted on Reply
  103. Anonymous says:

    loved it! so true. the la bitch is kind of like an ice queen, except she pretends not to be. its heaven.

    Posted on Reply
  104. Princess LA says:

    the song doesn’t go “wish they all could be new yorker girls”

    sorry betches, everyone knows us los angelinos rule the world <3

    Posted on Reply
  105. Campbell hall alumn says:

    ...just sayin ;]

    we held it down for the valley betches

    Posted on Reply
  106. Anonymous says:

    This is an extremely accurate description of LA Betches. I went to Archer and it is the all-girls school equivalent of Brentwood/Harvard-Westlake/Crossroads. Most of the girls I went to school with were described in your post

    Posted on Reply
  107. maz says:

    this just proves how arrogant New Yorkers are. Get the fuck over yourselves

    Posted on Reply
  108. BETCHPLEASE says:

    fUNNY JOKE. NYC’S THE SHIT. NICE TRY LA

    Posted on Reply
  109. betch says:

    true betches are born and raised in newport. you cant get any better than us.

    Posted on Reply
  110. NY or die says:

    you’re quoting legally blonde.. clearly you are the “fucking stupid” one

    Posted on Reply
  111. 310 says:

    NY Betches, you need to chill the fuck out. Caring too much makes you look like a loser. Fucking. Duh.

    I’ll ship you some dank Cali purp… Pop some Xanies in the meantime.

    Posted on Reply
  112. Anonymous says:

    New Yorkers would never “ask what it was like when Jack let go” because we’re like, totally unfazed when we see celebs. We just give them dirty looks and pity them for not being able to get an apartment in our pre-war building or anywhere nearby.

    Posted on Reply
  113. Anonymous says:

    dumb. she went to campbell hall. Campbell hall is still the valley. Fact check YOURSELF

    Posted on Reply
  114. Anonymous says:

    live & die in LA.  ny bitchez stop stalking us, we know you’re cold and indoors with nothing to do but go online and read articles about a city youll never belong in.  LA betches don’t go looking to read about other places they dont live in to bash them.  i don’t care and don’t care to read about NY, it has nothing to do with me or my home, and frankly, that’s all that matters to us, not your cold angst.

    Posted on Reply
  115. anon says:

    look at the comparison of the ny betch blog’s comments and this one…the la one has more spiteful new yorkers spamming up the article.  in the new york one, the comments are all STILL new yorkers praising themselves, and not really any or as many LA supporters bashing on the new yorkers.  basically, we have better things to do.  the LA -ers and betches simply don’t care, we don’t give a shit.  we’re too laid back and content to bother going on a different city’s article to insult them.

    Posted on Reply
  116. Suburban betch says:

    i dont even live directly in the city, but I def. eat at food trucks, my friends and i follow certain yummy trucks and other delicacies on wheels on twitter haha.  and the majority of people from my high school were bred to go and do go to USC.  literally. they are mostly the kids of rich good-looking alumnus and gain the genetics themselves. and OC girls just go to Chapman ahaha.  Melrose is awesome, and as an LA betch, i like to pick up from the many various medical marijuana dispensaries along the street while shopping/browsing/kicking it/getting or waiting for friends to get piercings in melrose’s trendy tattoo/piercing parlors.  And venice is a frequent hot spot esp for those pretty hippie girls native to LA who like to have a good time on the boardwalk, in the water, or in the weekly drum circles.  LA betches do go to ivy leagues, but it is more common to hear them at USC, where they dominate.

    Posted on Reply
  117. GT says:

    betches, we all know that new york and los angeles are the best cities out there. now calm it down, they are both awesome. nice job with the “Brentwood, Crossroads, Harvard-westlake” refrence. totally spot on (i go to hw) but you forgot about marlborough for the bitches who didnt get into brentwood/harvardwestlake and say they want to go to an all girls school. so not betchy. no guys? wtf. no one really goes to crossroads. i mean ew? but completely agree with this post. go betches. <3

    Posted on Reply
    • K says:

      Please… I applied (and got into) H-W & Brentwood ONLY because my mom made me so I would have ‘backups’ in the unlikely event that I didn’t get into Marlbs. Hate to break it to you honey, but Marlborough is for the hardworking betch who actually wants to focus on school and do something super impressive in her spare time so she can go to Penn.

      Posted on Reply
  118. lizzig says:

    you obvs never been to la…..............

    Posted on Reply
  119. BayAreaBetch says:

    First of all, the fact you have “team” in front of any guys name makes me want to vom.
    Second, how the eff are you playing for Tupac when you don’t even know that he’s from Nor-Cal.. aka, the better half of CA. Although I am biased since I’m fortunate enough to be a Marin County/San Francisco betch, I have a house in Santa Monica and I do love LA (plus this article is oh so accurate); but the true betches are bred in Atherton, Marin County, Menlo Park, Presidio Heights, and well, most of the affluent-but still classy- parts of the San Francisco Bay Area.
    Third, any betch with love for the west coast would already know this #westcoastlove

    Posted on Reply
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    Posted on Reply
  121. MainLineBetch says:

    Umm NYC is amazing except for one problem -ITS FUCKING COLD. Totes over it!

    Posted on Reply
  122. Anonymous says:

    obvz not from California. foolproof way to tell if native of poseur

    Posted on Reply
  123. pointblank says:

    live & die in LA. ny bitchez stop stalking us, we know you’re cold and indoors with nothing to do but go online and read articles about a city youll never belong in. LA betches don’t go looking to read about other places they dont live in to bash them. i don’t care and don’t care to read about NY, it has nothing to do with me or my home, and frankly, that’s all that matters to us, not your cold angst.
    look at the comparison of the ny betch blog’s comments and this one…the la one has more spiteful new yorkers spamming up the article. in the new york one, the comments are all STILL new yorkers praising themselves, and not really any or as many LA supporters bashing on the new yorkers. basically, we have better things to do. the LA -ers and betches simply don’t care, we don’t give a shit. we’re too laid back and content to bother going on a different city’s article to insult them. know why california is the most hatest city? cause the majority not FROM there who try to venture there to make a ‘name’ for themselves never feel like they belong cause they don’t.  yet they try soooo hard….it’s so pathetic to watch.

    Posted on Reply
  124. Anonymous says:

    Im a #betch from LA who moved to NYC to see what all the hype was about. It’s horrible and all New Yorker #betches (if you can call yourselves that) are just jealous that you have to wear clothes 75% of the year, live in grime, and are pale as fuck. Why starve your self or pretend to workout to have a hot bod if you can’t even flaunt it?

    Sincerely,

    Just moved back to California

    Posted on Reply
  125. anonymous says:

    Harverd westlake is not betchy at all!! They all work so hard.  The ultimate school for betches is marymount high school on sunset

    Posted on Reply
  126. yogasutrabetch says:

    I am guilty of yoga on Montana and then nails in Brentwood, coffee at Urth on Melrose, dinner at Katsuya and then out in the Hills. Thats like Saturday ritual.

    This was spot on. I feel bad. And I should feel bad.

    Posted on Reply
  127. Kate says:

    This is fairly accurate and I’m not even going to get into this with you betches from other cities because LA is obvs the betchiest city of them all. Only correction I have to make is this- Marlbs, Archer, and Marymount are all super betchy too. While I admit that Harvard-Westlake/Marlbs are full of betches, they are shadily really difficult and 95% of the girls are insanely smart.

    The other 5% have dads who bought buildings and will buy a library to get them into Stanford, but whatevs.

    Posted on Reply
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