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By The Betches on

There’s a reason that like, five of our Betches of the Week are British (and happened to be named Kate). This is because betches love British people, British shit, and basically all things British.

Why the obsession with people from a country that’s not number one?

Being British gives you the ability to seem classy and elegant even if you’re not. If a British person is trashy, they seem like, ten times classier than any American. Ever seen the British version of The Office?

austin powersCould he BE anymore attractive?

Even though we think #63 America is the more attractive side of the Atlantic, our love for Brits is largely in part about the accent. Throw any guy with an English accent our way and he’s automatically a million times hotter. The accent can make a person go from somewhat boring to die-laughing hysterical. Imagine Lisa Vanderpump or Russell Brand without their accents. You’ll just be left with an old lady in a pink dress who makes out with her dog and a hobo.

The English accent also makes anyone seem smarter and more charming, two qualities that signify a #62 Pro.

There is a reason why when someone tries to imitate any accent other than the English one, they sound like Borat. This is because Spanish and Italian (etc) accents are kind of nauseating, something we know from our experiences #3 abroad. Meanwhile English-based accents (be it Irish, Scottish, or Australian) are hot.

For instance, Prince Harry and William would be #19 ugly hot if they were American but instead they’re just hot because they’re British princes. It’s some sort of royal fucking touch. If it were JFK or Alec Baldwin in ugly-hot-question, he’d have to do something about his receding hairline.

And think about this one: Most British people have bad teeth because their dentists are probably too busy getting laid.

Let’s talk about the country we shadily wish we lived in if it weren’t so fucking cold.

Britain is like a fucking fantasy land. The idea of having tea at Harrods is a great reason to chill and #36 not do work, and living there would be the only reason we’d agree to live a life without #54 iced coffee.

Also, their food’s shitty so that’s a sure way to boost your #5 diet. We like the idea of a lunch consisting of um, tea.

queen elizShe's prob thinking "Kate could totally lose like 5 lbs"

Finally, a place where it’s possible to get a job as a literal Queen…? Sign us the fuck up. The Queen is a huge betch even though she’s old. Someone design the betch some enormous royal #60 sunglasses to complete her DGAF vibe.

On top of that, everything in England is really expensive and therefore exclusive. They even have their own amazing currency that’s better than everyone else’s.

Like even though they don’t use the Euro they’re still in the European Union, which is kind of like joining a club and refusing to wear the uniform because you’re too hot for it. That’s betchy.

Oh and can somebody say Top Shop?

So Monday may have been Labor Day, a reason for feeling patriotic and proud of our country a random three-day weekend, today is the day for #1 talking shit. Great Britain is like America’s less dramatic, betchy older sister. She used to own us (Okay whatever, she like invented us), but we grew up and got a lot cooler. She may be pastier than you, but there’s still a little part of you who idolizes her and longs for her Burberry raincoat.


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23 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. The Betches says:

    And Britain came out with the betchiest TV show. Watch the fuck out The Hills, here comes Made in Chelsea.

    Posted on Reply
  2. The Betches says:

    I LOVE this post-I’m leaving tomorrow for England for the first time to go # 3 abroad. This just reaffirmed that betchin time I’m going to have.

    Posted on Reply
  3. The Betches says:

    Almost as good as the Irish. Almost.

    Posted on Reply
  4. The Betches says:

    We do drink iced coffee as well in England

    Posted on Reply
  5. The Betches says:

    The accents….. that’s all that fucking needs to be said, if a british guy is remotely good looking all he needs to do is spit out a “cheerio”, and forget #not fucking bros, i’m getting on that british guy STAT.

    Posted on Reply
  6. The Betches says:

    Love the EU reference. Totally betchy.

    Posted on Reply
  7. The Betches says:

    somebody is running out of ideas

    Posted on Reply
  8. The Betches says:

    Um hello british SKINS…best show ever. Effy is the ultimate betch. I’m mad at mtv for trying to make an american version and ruining it.

    Posted on Reply
  9. The Betches says:

    The Euro was set up by the institutional recommendations with no intention to join. This has allowed the country to enjoy leadership in the Commonwealth, set itself apart, and have a special relationship with the US.

    Posted on Reply
  10. The Betches says:

    I find accents in general annoying, but that’s just because my betchiness thinks the only speak is Chicago speak.

    Nice post though betches! You always get my attention.

    Posted on Reply
  11. The Betches says:

    ….can we make a motion to ban comments from non-betches (fucking sideeye to “wobsy”) and wannabetches who shamelessly self promote their wordpress blogs?

    Posted on Reply
  12. The Betches says:

    British food is not shit.

    There is a reason why we are not number 1 with obesity rates [Fair enough we are third..but just saying lol]

    Thanks for the love though!!

    I am off to Topshop later today to buy my sister a betchy outfit for her birthday tomorrow!

    with love,
    from a BetchinLondon:)

    Posted on Reply
  13. The Betches says:

    love it!
    Oh and only thing.. not all British accents are sexy…. Only the pros. Ghetto British accents = hideous

    Posted on Reply
  14. Brat says:

    I lived in england for a year, and they are definitely betchy. their fashion is about 2 years ahead of america, and the people are much more easy-going and fucking HILARE. my favorite place on earth, besides las vegas of course.

    Posted on Reply
  15. A says:

    Alot of countries that are in EU don’t have euros…...

    Posted on Reply
  16. Addison says:

    I lived in England for six months and it was the betchiest experience of my entire life.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Addison says:

    Betch, where are you going exactly?  I lived in Brighton for six months and it was the best experience of my life.

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    Topshop is the betchiest.

    Posted on Reply
  19. Smartbetch says:

    Um that is smply not true. More countries in the EU use the Euro than don’t, and the ones that don’t use it are really small, lame, and un-betchy like Slovakia (I mean who the fuck cares). Britain is the only major power within the EU to have their own currency.

    And they’re the ones laughing now coz they’re too betchy to fall into Eurozone debt mwahahaha.

    Posted on Reply
  20. leila says:

    betch of the week: effy, british skins is the betchiest shows ever although its sketchy for sure.

    Posted on Reply
  21. Warpin says:

    Ever heard of Switzerland?

    Posted on Reply
    • SwissBetch says:

      Hum.. Switzerland is NOT part of the EU!

      Posted on Reply
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