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By The Betches on

Just when you thought pounding 15 shots to a really chic electronic beat was the only way to pregame, a movie comes out and shows us all up. I mean, it was not only fucking hysterical, but it made us want to fucking party. Like the way we felt leaving the theater is how we imagine a born-again virgin would feel if she was de-again-virginized by Tim Tebow. No we don't know what that means but our point is: it was fucking amazing.

So what happened in this movie…What DIDN'T happen? We don't want to spoil it for you because no one should be deprived of this experience. Like seriously they should hand this shit out to African babies in place of food packages to guarantee it's been seen by the entire population.

What to expect: A complete shit show. Expect roid-raged midgets shoved into ovens, ecstasy gnomes, a homemade little dog/hot air balloon, and fat people jumping off roofs onto bouncy castles. Oh and casual soft-core porn.

Our favorite character was: the bar mitzvah boy who was like a cross from Freaks and Geeks and Jonah Hill in Superbad, Costa. This bro wore argyle sweater vests, was no taller than 5'2" and carried a chalice. What about this description doesn't scream sex monster? Everyone who sees this movie will be like, wow I know exactly who these kids were in high school, especially JB (the fat ironically dumb nerd) except they never had the balls to throw this kind of party, but fuck you wish they would.

The most brilliant part of the movie was: the security kids, hands down. These prepubescent greasers took their job as the party 'security' too seriously, may or may not have caught on fire, and were punched in the face by a really hot dad/neighbor.

So we don't want to give away too much, and frankly we forgot all the dialogue because we were like, really high, as was every single other person in the theater from what we smelled and overheard. That's another thing, you must smoke before you see this. But after seeing it feel free to comment your favorite quotes because we can't remember any except when Costa said he's sorry for calling JB a fat fuck and he's sorry for repeating it now.

21 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Betch says:

    “The only thing you’re working on is diabetes you fat fuck!” - Costa

    Posted on Reply
  2. Omg loved it too says:

    “ninjas are pussies!”  security kid

    I seriously cried laughing, this movie was amaze. I want to rage this hard every night of the week. LOVE costa!!

    Posted on Reply
  3. x says:

    omfg this movie. there was nothing bad about it. i haven’t liked a movie this much since mean girls.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Sarah says:

    “dude why do you have a boner right now” -costa


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  5. Anonymous says:

    DuDe why do you have a boner right now

    Honestly hilarious

    Posted on Reply
  6. BEST MOVIE says:

    “wear something TIGHT”-Costa

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    party tonight.
    hot bitches dress like it, ugly girls don’t come.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    loved this shit.. so fucking funny

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    this is such a great movie. i live in pasadena, and so many fucking awesome parties have happened in honor of it. so great!

    Posted on Reply
  10. betchestbetch says:

    holy betch….. this was the best movie i have seen in a while. and this post is so accurate, the theatre smelled like weed. too bad i didnt smoke. i am now making plans to see this again completely wasted

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    great fucking movie, id see it again in a heartbeat.. contemplating owning it

    “But after seeing it feel free to comment your favorite quotes because we can’t remember any except when Costa said he’s sorry for calling JB a fat fuck and he’s sorry for repeating it now.” love

    Posted on Reply
  12. hbarry says:

    JB “im getting in shape for the party”
    costa “the party is in three hours”
    JB “its mostly water weight”

    Posted on Reply
  13. Sarah says:

    “I sent out a mass email and may have called a radio station” -Costa
    Died laughing the whole time

    Posted on Reply
  14. high says:

    My friend just got goose bumps

    Posted on Reply
  15. betch says:


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  16. Anonymous says:

    Costa: [after the midget drives the car into the pool] Wow. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to fix any of this shit. I’m sorry Thomas. I just wanted to get some pussy.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    with the cops when costa is just like “you cannot because we say you may not” and when they ask for an adult costa says “im 18 1/2 but in my culture ive been a man since 13

    Posted on Reply
  18. Rhydita Haque says:

    Excellent article of movie, I know a few people who prefer freelance blogging to more traditional freelance writing jobs. It’s nice to hear one feedback and tips from someone who’s doing it. plesove saty is my best business.

    Posted on Reply
  19. Greek says:

    This movie was brilliant…but I just got a little pissed off because since I’m Greek I found it extremely annoying that Costa was Jewish. I’m not racist at all, its just that the name Costa is actually a very common Greek name…so it gave me false hope that the main character was for once a crazy fuck Greek guy

    Posted on Reply
  20. Yorky says:

    this is such a great movies. i live in pasadena, and so many fucking awesome parties have happened in honor of it. so great!

    Posted on Reply
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