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By Sgt. Olivia Betchson on

Nothing in particular has sparked this post except for the fact that I’ve seen a bunch of articles on the internet lately to the effect of, “if a girl accepts a drink from a guy at a bar she’s not really interested in, she is a soulless bitch.” No, really, like one article even went so far as to call girls who do this “evil.”

Like okay, glad to know that as far as adjectives go, me taking a free drink that was offered to me is on the same level as Joseph Kony, since apparently that's how we’re throwing the word “evil” around now.

So in this week’s edition of things I think are bullshit, I bring you: this^^.

I’ll start here: A guy sees you at a bar and he’s like, “I don’t know your name but excuse me, miss. I saw you from across the room, and I’ve got to admit that you’ve got my attention. You’re makin’ me wanna say yo!”

And he goes, “I’mma buy you a drank, ooo weee shawty I’mma take you home with me. I got money in the bank...”

Okay, enough with the early 2000’s references.

First things first: a free drink, no matter how hard a betch has pregamed or how much is in her bank account, is a tempting offer. She knows it’s a tempting offer, and the guy knows this, too—that’s why he made it. There’s a reason guys don’t initiate conversation with, “Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I’d like to wrap you in Saran wrap and poke two holes, one for your mouth and one for—“ because no one would agree to that shit…I hope. 

It would be one thing if I asked you to buy the drink for me, or if I somehow coerced you into ordering me a vodka soda and then paying for said vodka soda, or if I stole your credit card and was committing fraud, but none of those things happened. You came up with this one all on your own, buddy. And as far as I’m concerned, once the drink is in my hand, our interaction can end at any point.

You think because you dropped a single Hamilton I’m required to talk to you? Nah. Bitch, you could buy me a Lambo and I’m still not required to do anything, including not go back to my friends. That’s the risk you take when you decide to buy me a drink. Getting mad at me for accepting the drink THAT YOU WILLINGLY GAVE ME IN THE FIRST PLACE and then leaving would be like you investing in a start-up that bombed and then getting mad at the start-up for bombing. 

And for those of you who are about to comment, yes I’m aware I sort of just objectified myself by comparing women to stock but like whatever I still think the analogy is pretty solid. There are costs and benefits to everything and if you're not prepared for the cost, then don't take the risk. If you want a guaranteed conversation over drinks then go on OKCupid or find a local Nice Girl.

I can't ignore the fact that there is an expectation if you’re accepting a drink from a guy that you’re going to at least entertain him, but guys, think about it: if the only thing you have to offer is the ability to procure a shitty mixed drink, what does that say about you? Like if you can’t catch my attention in the 5 minutes it takes for you to actually get the bartender to notice you standing there, waving your AmEx in his face, then you sound pretty fucking lame and I feel like I’ve just saved us both some time in G-ing-TFO. And I’ve saved you more money, so you should actually be thanking me that I didn’t milk this by making you buy me like 3 more drinks, or even a double.

I get that it’s shitty to have a girl you just spent your hard-earned money on walk away, but damn. That’s why you don’t lead with the fucking trump card! Frankly, I think the only reason you could be mad would be if you bought a betch a drink and she either a) was completely rude about it or b) intentionally dumped it on you or one of your friends. So betches, as long as you said thank you (and meant it...I meannnn you did get a free drink), any guy who’s mad that you didn’t practically suck his dick over a Fireball shot can quite literally go fuck himself.

22 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. vodkasoda says:

    this is bang on. it’s not like we force them or anything. they offer!

    Posted on Reply
  2. Your Name says:

    I had a guy once tell me that I “owed” him after he bought me a drink, and when I declined to go home with him, he called me a slut.  Which I very graciously pointed out that me not going home with him and riding his dipstick actually made me the opposite of what he called me.  Basically guys, girls don’t owe you shit. Going into it with that mind set is pretty fucked up, like you roll out of bed, put a backwards cap on to cover up your greasy hair, and we’re expected to swoon? I don’t think so.

    Posted on Reply
    • rich betch says:

      I agree…...but it IS rude to lead a guy on.  And if you’re willing to be rude just to get some stupid free drink then you must be poor.  That’s like the equivalent of going on a date with a guy you’re not interested in just to get a free movie/lunch/dinner.

      Posted on Reply
      • umm no says:

        clearly you missed the point of this article. accepting a free drink is NOT leading a guy on. based on your clear disdain for anyone who accepts free shit, i’m going to assume your fug and probably don’t get many offers.

        Posted on Reply
        • ^^^^^ says:

          hahahahahaha on point

          Posted on Reply
      • I think you mean ugly betch says:

        If a guy wants to buy her a drink, that’s on him. Like if a dude asks her if he can buy her a drink she doesn’t owe him anything. It’s completely different than going on a date with someone for free food or whatever. Letting a pro buy you a drink isn’t leading them on and its not an unequivocal sex invite. Like you sound so stupid when you say shit like that. Poor or rich, who doesn’t like not having a bar tab?

        Posted on Reply
    • haha says:

      I love the clueless reference!

      Posted on Reply
  3. London says:

    So on point.

    Also on the theme of not owing guys shit - betches, do an article on cock-blocking!
    (do you have that in the US?)

    I have no time for their blamey sense of entitlement ‘she/he cock-blocked me’ bullshit - you were never entitled to anything in the first place. The reason there was no fuck is presumably because she didn’t want it, not because you were prevented from it by their friend cock-blocking you. 

    Posted on Reply
    • DC says:

      Yes we do have “cock blocking” and it is definitely whiny and entitled ha

      Posted on Reply
  4. Your Name says:

    I think it’s fucking stupid that just because a guy bought a girl a drink she is expected to fuck him. Fucking you is not her purpose in life so stop acting like it’s an obligation when it’s a choice.

    Posted on Reply
    • F'realz says:

      Seriously - hookers charge more than $10-$20

      Posted on Reply
  5. Sick Betch says:

    For fucks sake betches, I get motion sickness when trying to read your articles recently. Rebel Wilson is bobbing her head every 0.5 seconds and it’s distracting as hell.

    I’m hate to be a total grandma, but please cut down on the animated GIFs!

    Posted on Reply
  6. Your Name says:

    If a guy buys you a drink, you’re not obligated to fuck him, but you should at least converse with him for a few minutes.

    Posted on Reply
  7. drunk betch says:

    Great article! It’s perfectly fine to accept a drink from a debatably cute guy. Guys lead girls on all the time to get in their pants. Catch ya on the flip side moth fuckaaaaas

    Posted on Reply
  8. Your Name says:

    I once had a guy buy me a drink and when I walked away, with said drink in hand, he chased me down and took it back!!! Talk about a betch!!!

    Posted on Reply
  9. Your Name says:

    “Bitch, you could buy me a Lambo and I’m still not required to do anything, including not go back to my friends.” This is so feminist. Love it.

    Posted on Reply
  10. Seriously says:

    I see two slightly different scenarios that happen: 1) The guy asks you if he can buy you a drink, like Ryan Gosling up there. Of course you’re going to say yes, and that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to fuck him, but it’d be rude to straight-up ignore him after that. At the very least, say thanks.
    2) The bartender informs you that the guy is buying your drink. Again, take the drink, but you don’t owe him a damn thing. He completed this whole transaction without even asking you, then he chickened out and had the bartender approach you rather than having the balls to do it himself.

    Posted on Reply
  11. Your Name says:

    If the guys leads the conversation by offering the drink right off the bat, he’s taking the easy way to begin with and shouldn’t be bummed when it doesn’t pan out. If he had the balls to start a conversation about ANYTHING ELSE and a couple minutes in offered the drink…well she should have a vague idea by then if she wants to stick around.

    Posted on Reply
  12. ZZZ says:

    Dear betches,
    I have a post request… What to do when you feel like you are being ditched by your best friend.

    Posted on Reply
  13. blah says:

    i don’t take drink offers unless i feel like i might be interested in talking to him further… i think he is at least entitled to friendly convo.

    Posted on Reply
  14. Nychob says:

    The best is when a guy offers to get you a drink at an open bar. Thanks but I prefer my vodka soda without the splash of roofalin.

    Posted on Reply
  15. Jack says:

    The offer of a drink is a euphemism, stoo-pid. Or I should say dishonest betch as you know exactly what you’re doing you cheap fraud. The offer says, “I can see you’re all “gamed up” and out hunting for men. You have my interest, are you interested in me?”
    A simple “No” will suffice. Anything else is a cheap fraud which is all you are.
    But this comes as no surprise as it’s the poor sap you say yes too who is really going to pay. Sorry bastard will be paying for ever if you can just get a ring on your grubby selfish fat finger.
    All these strong intelligent women who don’t need a man,...pfffft!
    Just defraud him to pay for everything more like it.
    The next article will be the age old moan, “Where have all the ‘good men’ gone?”
    And the answer will always be the same. No-where, betch. We’re still right here where we’ve always been. We’re just avoiding the selfish betches like you. We’ve just learnt through bitter experience how mind bendingly cruel and selfish womankind is and are staying away in droves. MGTOW. Paddle your own canoe.
    One of the great lies of the Great Lie that is feminism is that women are the loving nurturing ones while men are cruel and incapable of real love. Men can only lust, so croaks the lying crone.
    I call bullshit and you publish the truth. Men don’t love, they adore. When was the last time you saw a man on a pedestal? Men put their women and children up there all the time. Name me a single woman who married a man and then worked herself into an early grave keeping her in a life of leisure and he never need go to work again. Sacrifice herself day by day, for years while he spends EVERY CENT she earns. Don’t hold your breath. Women like this are takers, not givers.
    I don’t know why other women don’t tar and feather selfish girls like this. She and her like do nothing but give the men’s movement legs. Men by the millions are calling women to account for their actions – the very thing feminism has worked tirelessly to avoid. Men across the world, raised under the doctrine of the helpless victim, shamed daily by words and actions of the grasping harpie their whole lives, are turning their backs on your hollow accusations and seeing you for what you really are. Thieves and killers. Standing on the bodies of men, boys AND OTHER WOMEN who don’t believe in your crap. Imagine a gender war when where men actually turned up? Paul Elam is right. This stupid shit needs fucking up. FTSU. Get used to it sister, it’s not going to go away any time soon.
    If your intellect was so strong and empowered, a woman might be a bit more aware and wary of THE WALL! You know the wall don’t you? Well, you might not “know” it personally yet, apparently men still buy you drinks, but you will. All women do, eventually. You know that thing that comes up and smacks you in the face like a concrete foot path? And then men don’t buy you drinks any more.
    Looks don’t last Einstein.
    Try having a modicum of respect for the men who answer your mating call. You did ‘game up’ didn’t you? You did go down to the bar/club/pub and perch yourself in the middle of the meat market did you not? You did play the game, no? You called for free drinks and let the games begin.  Why? Because you know that men are of value. You know they have much to give and are more than willing to give for the rest of their shortened lives, lives that a woman will shorten. What do women have to give? Apart from that? That’s gunna dry up and scab over soon enough. She gives NOTHING,….but misery, complaint, nagging,…. AND MORE DEMANDS AND SHAME.
    And we come to the real reason you take the drink and walk, the reason for the article.
    SHAME.
    Like poison, a woman’s weapon. All the power you have. A smart strong woman, you know the type, the women all us men are supposedly terrified of, she realises a relationship can be a place to build rather than destroy and weapons are best put away. And all you’re doing is a pathetic attempt to rewrite the rules to say it’s OK for women to break the rules and cheat. See all the public shame she can dish out?
    I’ll warrant that any fat old woman with a loving fat old man to warm her bed and heart at night is waaaayyyyyy smarter than any selfish twerp with no respect for men, the risks they take, (and you acknowledge), and the price they pay for the privilege of a relationship. Nah, I was right the first time, you’re just stoo-pud.

     

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