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By The Betches on

#10 That person who harasses you to "like" their most recent instagram

"So like, why haven't you liked my pic?"
"Which one?"
"Um I took like an amazing picture of a tree"
"Omg how DARE I miss that one"

 

#9 The Excessive Hashtagger

It's one thing to instagram a picture of the most beautiful spicy tuna roll that's ever been placed in front of you but it's entirely another to supplement it with 50+ irrelevant and/or futile hashtags. #sushi #tuna #spicy #roll #rolls #yum #instayum #instagood. More like #instaimafuckingidiot.

 

#8 The Facebook Checker-iner

There is absolutely no reason anyone should check in on Facebook. Facebook is for posting pictures later, writing not so funny inside jokes on your friends' walls, and sharing articles that shows people just how bored you are at work. No one gives a shit if you're at the Darby with your three besties. Insta a pic, geotag it, then share on FB like a real human person.

 

#7 That person who asks you to like the Facebook page of the company they've only worked at for a week

"Can you please support my career and like my page!" is something this person would ask you. And to be polite you say yes and then all of your Facebook friends get an update on their news feed that Allie now likes AnalTech.

 

#6 The Excessive Selfie Taker

Everyone knows this girl. She's posted a picture of herself with a slightly different combination of filter and shade of lipstick at her computer, in her car, or on the toilet and thinks it's art. My look for the day!  So by process of deduction, we're only left to assume that on days you don't post a selfie you look like absolute shit.

 

 

#5 Parents

We've been very clear on how we feel about this in our Strongly Worded Letter to Parents on Facebook.

 

#4 The Girl who Doesn't Know How to Use Instagram but Will Do it Anyway

Do you follow anyone on instagram who will put up like 5 subsequent subpar pictures from the weekend with no caption no geotag and worst of all no effect? Then the pictures sit there with no likes? It's like a really fucking loud instacricket. Well, it's time you take it upon yourself to have an instavention and tell this girl that if she doesn't improve her instaskills she will be unfollowed. Insta'scuseme.


#3 The incessant uploader of pictures of the same dog at different angles

For the love of God, we know you have a dog, we know it's cute, we already know what it looks like relaxing on your bed or drinking from your can of Diet Coke but we definitely don't need to know what THAT looks like from all angles and weather conditions. We just don't. 

 

#2 The Facebook Political Debater

This has grown increasingly annoying in the last few years. With the election and recent tragedies there's is nothing that angers us more than conducting political debates via Facebook statuses. Free speech, shmee speech, if you're a person who knows what they're taking about you don't need to be reaffirmed of this from of the idiots on your Facebook feed. No one knows how big an idiot you are until you show them via Facebook. Need a healthy debate? Call your AP Gov teacher from high school. He's probs bored.

 

#1 The Oversharer

This person will make sure that all of her followers on all social media platforms know where s/he is at all times. Whether it's foursquare, instagram, Facebook, twitter, snap chat, or instagrammig a picture of her snap chat, she will make sure that you will be notified of her every move. So…. this girl needs to calm the fuck down, or go back to the flip phone.

15 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. mugatu says:

    the worst offender/most amusing example was this fugly bitch who asked her facebook audience how much more weight she had to lose before people stopped asking if she was preggers. do me a favor and lose 5lbs immediately or get out of my feed like, now

    Posted on Reply
    • well there says:

      you have your answer. i hope you told her.

      Posted on Reply
  2. Your Name says:

    What about the guys that give constant sports updates? UGH. vom.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Maddie says:

    Parents. Not like, my parents being on Facebook, but all my former betches who went the annoying mommy route and post about their brats 586,342,301 times a day. We get it, you spawned a child, but do I really need to hear about every fucking sniffle little Jimmy gets? Or how he shit in the fucking toilet for the first time? Bra-fucking-vo. Facebook mommies are the WORST.

    Posted on Reply
    • Sara says:

      So true!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!

      Posted on Reply
  4. Hilarious_Betch says:

    #6 looks like Ashley from the Real Housewives of NJ ( daughter of Jacqueline) lol yea….betches hit the nail on the head with the excessive tagger lol #its #very #annoying #on #instagram!! #takenotebetches

    Posted on Reply
    • betchybetch says:

      I could swear that was Ashley too!

      Posted on Reply
      • Ummm says:

        ...that’s because it is

        Posted on Reply
  5. Your Name says:

    I just want to thank you for the pictures of that dog, made my fucking day

    Posted on Reply
  6. Blonde Betch says:

    #11 the exboyfriend that is still friends with your friends on fb, even though he deleted you, and “likes” their status/pictures everytime your friends tag you in something

    Posted on Reply
  7. go away says:

    agree with Maddie, my friends who are having kids on purpose and updating me on their daily struggles instantly get removed from my feed. you CHOSE to have these kids. your problems are why I will forever be on the pill.

    also - yoga is not a way of life and you do it and you’re still not skinny so enough with the #namaste. E. Nough.

    Posted on Reply
  8. HUMMM says:

    Who that fuck made this rules into what to post on what social media platform!!! ... Slave of the fucking system that it’s place on your face… Still kind of funny to read your fucking post.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Syltrem says:

    The (supposedly) girls that start following you. When you look at their profile it says “Chat with me at ...” and there’s a bunch of pictures of her (supposedly again).
    So dumb.

    Posted on Reply
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