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By The Betches on

Season 2 Episode 6: Let the Betch Brawls Begin

Last night we saw the build-up for what will probably be the biggest betch brawl of the season. The episode left us with some burning questions like: Will Brandi just get off the fucking show already? Where was Mauricio?! Why were they all wearing aprons? And finally, congratulations to Kim for winning this episode. Believe us, this is way better than sex with Martin.



"People try to figure me out, but they can't because my soul is divided into 6 horcruxes and hidden on Witch Mountain" 18 points


+4: For your grand entrance of #1 talking shit about "Pam's" dirty house +1: "OOOO pretty flowers" Yes Kim, those flowers in that empty flower pot are so effing gorg. +2: For having Brad Pitt as your favorite rapper +1: What's wrong with a few bumps during game night? +1: "Wow...all these new people." We hate them too, Kim, we hate them too. +3: For continuously referring to Dana as Pam in the most epic hilarious mocking way. "It's kind of our thing, we're besties now" +6: For hiding the Brandicap's crutches.


kyle and kimYou thought you could fuck with this powerhouse, Brandi?




"I may not be the richest girl in Beverly Hills, but if my hair were insured I probably would be" 11 points


+2: For talking so much shit about Brandi +3: For talking so much shit literally all the time +1: No but really, you take the words right out of our mouths +2: For not letting us find a flaw on your face +2: Battle of the Brands with Dana: Valentino! Target! +1: "Never take liquid liner out with you." Kyle, maybe you should start taking advice from Kim instead, and show up an hour late.



"Life in Beverly Hills is a game, and Ken's company manufactures it" 7 points


+2: For Ken knowing the difference between "I love you" and "I love you too" - Ken sees #53 SAB potential in Little Maxy. -1: You kind of waddle but in like, an okay way. It's the Vanderpump swag. +3: For finding it in yourself to show emotion when you heard Pandora was engaged +3: Lisa literally has Ken's balls like cut off and stowed away in a little diamond box somewhere. If not, she's definitely suggested he dye them pink.



"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend... my friend DD who I pay to be my friend is" 4 points


+3: "For a party planner I expected a table, maybe some chairs" +1: Takes a sip of wine to mask her giggling while Brandi starts shit with K+K and she's obviously thinking: "he he he, now who's public enemy #1, hehe, hehe"


lisa and pandoraI'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom




"I've finally found my voice, and it repeats everything Kyle says" 1 point


+1: How many calories is it to stare at these cookies?



"Having it all is easy, but I don't really have it all because I don't have anyone to hate" -4 points


-1: Sick over the shoulder sweater situation. Didn't know Scott Disick was a housewife of Bev Hills. -3: "Sometimes Kim is hard to understand because she....rambles..." NO ADRIENNE. No one understands her because she's ROLLING FIVE DEEP. Call her what she is Adele.



"Even I don't know why I'm on this show" -5 points


-3: We'll be subtracting points for your crutches until you use them for something hysterical, like beating the shit out of someone. -3: Playing the victim that no one cares about +1: "My slutty shorts are cute so it's fine" - hahahah. True.



"I'm the fat new girl! Check out my implants, they're Fendi" -8 points


-2: You look like Bridget Jones meets the Black Swan in your fourth trimester. -3: "Hawaii is like, my favorite place in like, the universe." Like you've ever been to fucking Neptune? Oh wait, was Valentino just over at your house designing your spaceship? -3: How long before your nose is the color of Kyle's ass hole?

Last week's recap>>


19 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. SrattyBetch says:

    Effing great post. Made me laugh betches.

    Though, I totes loves Brandicap calling out Kim on being wasted and the sisters way over the top denial. Like, with a reaction like that might as well be like, yes, I was in the bathroom trying to keep my sister half lucid.

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  2. Team Kim for the Week says:

    Anyone that wants to talk shit about Kim obviously isn’t a real betch!  If you all go back and read any post on this site from it’s beginning KNOWS that Kim follows all…well most of the rules…she is never on time, she shows up wasted and she doesn’t take shit from anyone, even her sister!  Brandi needs to go…she is a bump on a log that adds NOTHING to the show!!

    Keep the great posts coming!  These posts make my day!

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  3. lauren says:

    Did anyone notice that Brandicap thought Winston Churchill was black?? Reeeeaaaaaalllllyyyy?

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  4. OMG says:

    THIS KILLED ME! oh my god PLEASE keep doing these BH posts.
    also jasons hot?

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  5. meg says:

    Yeah way to go Brandi, that old British fuck is def not black

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  6. Kate says:

    Since this post was so obviously trying to be Daily Intel, I was waiting for some kind of shout-out. Not giving them credit: -20 for the betches. Pathetic.

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  7. nip says:


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  8. NI H P says:


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  9. g i g o l o says:


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  10. col says:

    i just have to give my betchy mum a shout out.
    her only thoughts on ep. 6: “see, as long as Kim stays pretty and shows up a little late for all this shit no one minds her obvious drug problem. at least she’s doing her bumps out of a fabulous bag, in a bathroom with soft lights…”

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  11. Jacqueline says:

    I feel like it needs to be pointed out that while Dana or Pam or whatever the fuck her name is, is obvi an annoying betch wannabe, she understands one crucial aspect of attaining her coveted position of the RHOBH #48 Dud.  That is, kissing Kyle and Kim’s asses by choosing to team up with them in being a complete bItch to Brandi.  Every betch knows that a good group dud will blindly follow your lead in being a complete bItch to annoying sluts like Brandi… and essentially just be your pawn in any/every situation.  Dana recognizes this and deserves props for acting accordingly, even if she is a fugly, pathetic, desperate wannabe.  Wtf kind of name is Brandi, anyway?  You can go back to your pole now. K, thanks.

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  12. BQ says:


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  13. Jessica @ says:

    How did I just find your site? It’s like finding a soul mate that was living in your basement all along. Except by soul mate I mean amazing site and by basement I mean the internets.
    Is it weird that I love you?

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  14. betchamissme says:

    alright jessica take it down a fuckin notch over there

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  15. ha says:


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  16. Nicole says:

    sorry you are pathetic. everyone knows that real betches watch RHOBH religiously. this post was awesome & you can keep talking shit but real betches know whats up. don’t get on the blog & diss it when we all know its the shit. sorry i’m not sorry.

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  17. Tile says:

    It was a valuable workout for me to go through your webpage. It definitely stretches the limits with the mind when you discover very good information and make an effort to interpret it accurately. I am going to look over this web site regularly on my PC. Thanks for sharing        

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  18. Caz says:

    Did anyone else LOVE how Adrienne and Brandi didn’t even touch the milkshakes that they ordered when they went to Milk? So betchy.

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