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By The Betches on

Watching Revenge this morning extremely hungover from Sunday Funday was like more miserable than anything I've ever done. And I watched the pilot of Carrie Diaries. But I mean, the episode wasn't that boring, like we got to watch most of the Grayson gang vacay it up in Cali, hear Victoria shout BONNE ANNIVERSAIRE MA BELLE to the newly renamed Charlotte Clarke, and watch Aiden's sister Colleen overdose on heroin upon finally realizing how bad the name Colleen is. Ugh, I need advil.

Call Outs

That opening scene with Emanda hooksing with Aiden and Daniel was pretty hot, and I have to say Daniel may be the first American whose hotness trumps a British accent.

How the fuck did Emanda, Daniel, Victoria, and Aidan all magically teleport to LA? Wouldn’t they be on the same flight? Can the Graysons spare that many private jets? Is it really safe to fly when Connie has a reputation for blowing up PJs?

And this acquisition dinner with Foxy Cleopatra was so fucking stupid. My dad loved kids. No my dad loved kids more! I was in a foster home. I was in Brooklyn when the lights went out one time! Stop talking about making your dad proud and go get a haircut.

Also, how many times can you use the word collude in one episode… Clearly someone on the writing staff must have learned the word like a week ago.

So all the initiative wants to do is cause a blackout? What is this, Flash Forward?


revengeZero Dark Flirty

Ashely to Victoria: "Spoken like a woman that no one is sleeping with." Somebody definitely did not check her 'tude at the door.

Aiden's sister is like the worst actress ever. Watching her overdose may or may not have been funnier than watching Liam Neison's daughter run franitcally in Taken .

Was the theme of this episode giving shitty gifts? First Padma gets Nolan a stupid fucking keychain and then Fake Amanda is like, "happy birthday Charlotte, here's this mold of crazy Carl's hand."

Daniel: My goal is to rebrand our image so that 'global' refers to 'world view' not 'world domination.' Tweet that Emanda, that was good.

Last week's recap>>

17 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. huh says:

    Huh. I feel like I am reading a completely new site. decent observations but the tone and writing just isnt the same. PS - since Betches like to pride themselves on being smart, advil is a noun.

    Posted on Reply
    • No one used it as a verb. says:

      Yes, Advil is a noun. In fact it is a proper noun, which means that when you use it in the sentence “I need Advil” you could be saying “I need an Advil” or “I need enough Advil to kill me, so I can no longer feel this hangover”. This also means that the writers used the word correctly. I’m wondering how intelligent you actually are if you did not realize this.

      Posted on Reply
  2. what says:

    worst recap on this site- not funny at all. get your shit together betches

    Posted on Reply
  3. Brill says:

    “happy birthday Charlotte, here’s this mold of crazy Carl’s hand.”. Too good.

    Posted on Reply
  4. Jokes says:

    You can’t watch revenge hungover… there’s just way too much thinking involved. Time for a re-do

    Posted on Reply
  5. lol wut? says:

    wait I loved this recap? seriously, laughed out loud at the taken reference

    Posted on Reply
    • yep says:

      me too

      Posted on Reply
  6. bad says:

    Your recaps are getting worse and worse. Learn to spell.

    Posted on Reply
  7. this sucks says:

    Yeah def time for a BETTER recap. This sucked and who ever wrote this is clearly not into it. Write these later if you are hungover.

    Posted on Reply
  8. calibetch says:

    “Watching her overdose may or may not have been funnier than watching Liam Neison’s daughter run frantically in Taken”

    HAHAHA yes.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Correction says:

    The actor who plays Daniel actually is British.

    Posted on Reply
    • CV says:

      Thank you! Just about to point this out.

      Posted on Reply
  10. Sprinkles says:

    What about the total lesbian moment between Faux-manda and Charlotte??

    Posted on Reply
  11. ollieolive says:

    A monkey with a crayon could have written a better recap.

    Posted on Reply
  12. BUY ME A HOUSE BETCH says:

    “say yes and I’ll buy you a house” -Emily. Betchiest moment you missed.
    Also, it’s clear that Daniel reads the betches recap because in this week’s episode he asks Emily if she thought he was an idiot.

    Posted on Reply
  13. Monica says:

    Really? You didn’t like this episode? With the almost assassination and the drama with Aiden’s sister (who is, admittedly, not a very good actress), I thought it was pretty good. I missed it when it first aired because I was working late at DISH, but I saw it on my DVR a few days ago. My DISH Hopper was set to auto-record this episode of Revenge along with the other primetime shows on the four major networks using PrimeTime Anytime, so it was easy for me to watch the episode even though I forgot to set a timer for it.

    Posted on Reply
    • Your name says:

      Cool product plug loser. Are betches not recapping revenge anymore?

      Posted on Reply
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