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By The Betches on

Apparently dreams really do come true. A few months ago when Snow White and the Huntsman came out we wished that Kristen Stewart would vanish. And voila! Aside from consistently dropping out of public appearances since her affair broke, she's also been dropped from the Snow White sequel, which will be directed by the bro she fucked. At this point it's pretty clear that Rupert and his wife Liberty Ross definitely got the better of this scandal because prior to this we're fairly sure no one knew their names, and now they're basically immortalized in our eyes as the ones who brought down K-Stew. Read article>>

A mere three days after Anderson Cooper's boyf was caught kissing some other bro in a very public park, Andy Coop got his revenge and a vaca to Croatia with arguably the best homosexual in existence, Andy Cohen. Talk about a power couple. And what's even better is that if you combine their first names, Andy and Anderson, you get the full name of the last role Kate Hudson did not embarrass herself in. Read article>>

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" - Rashida Jones urges John Travolta. In an interview Rashida stated, "Come on. How many masseurs have to come forward? Let’s do this.” And of course, like any celebrity who publicly says things that are true, she was forced to apologize on Twitter. Read article>>

Joe Biden made a very loaded remark to a "racially mixed" group of people at a campaign rally, saying that "Republicans will put you back in chains." Props on the admirable amount of #24 insensitivity, quite the ironic slavery joke. But why has no one pointed out the obvious double entendre here. We'll give you a hint. Do your chain hang low? Read article>>

Also in the world of political gaffes, Mitt Romney accidentally declared to a group of Cubans in Miami that he loves vagina. Well actually, he said he loves papaya, which is slang for vagina. Come on Mitt, we'd think that someone like you who's had so much lifelong contact with hotel and country club staff that you'd have some grasp on hispanic linguistics. On the bright side, we can now safely assume he's never slept with his maid. Read article>>

And finally we just had to show you this ridiculous DJs for Obama video. We know he can't promise it on the campaign trail, but we know in our hearts that if the big O is reelected he will certainly declare Coachella (both weekends) a national holiday and do everything he can to make sure July 4th never again falls on a Wednesday. Stay tuned for our election coverage, Betchocracy 2012 in weeks to come...

7 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. perfection says:

    loved the political coverage. props to whoever wrote this

    Posted on Reply
  2. lol says:

    that DJs for obama video is hilar

    Posted on Reply
  3. love it says:

    great how to lose a guy in ten days ref!

    Posted on Reply
  4. sexy latin betch says:

    To paraphrase Patrick Bateman, “Cool it on the anti-[Hispanic] remarks.” Ignorance is so not betchy.

    Posted on Reply
    • Ugh says:

      Yes, clearly the thing to take from this was that the betches are racist. Get the fuck off this website if you can’t relax and take a joke.

      Posted on Reply
    • well says:

      To paraphrase myself, “Hispanics are ruining this nation and you suck.”

      Posted on Reply
      • yeahhhh says:

        That wasn’t even remotely funny. Calm down.

        Posted on Reply
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