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By The Betches on

Never one to be outdone by a loser Nickelodeon star Mandy Bynes, the latest in Linzlo land is her claim that she can't be arrested because it's bad for her "pneumonia" and gives her terrible chest pains. Inside sources tell us she used her one phone call to ring up Michael Lohan and cry to him about her black lung, pop. Listen, we're with Lindsay on this one. We once read that being arrested raises your risk of lung cancer at least 50% more than killing a pack a day. Read article>>

 

 

Hollywood's foremost weight fluctuator Kirstie Alley is going to be on Dancing With the Stars this season. This alone is a miracle because really, we didn't know being in diet commercials counted as "starring." However we will overlook this because she says she's only there for the ultimate prize, to become a size zero. It'll be a long road ahead Kirst but keep your eyes on the prize, Big Bones. Also we can't help but mention that this article calls attention to the fact that she is 61 years old which we never would've guessed, but holy fuck. Read article>>

Buzzfeed has written an extensive analysis of a trend called facials. The sexual kind, not the spa kind. Apparently they're becoming more common as a result of being featured in porn and shit. This article also covers some of the hazards associated with the practice, such as getting semen in your eye. If Andy Milonakis were still around this would call for a round of 'I've got cum on my head but don't call me a cum head.' Read article>>

A columnist for Deadline named Nikki Finke is taking a lot of shit because while she was live blogging the Emmy's she said that hot women can't be funny because they don't have enough inner pain and self loathing. This was right after Julie Bowen, a hot woman, won an Emmy. Jealous much Nik? Read article>>

Beyonce is probably preggers again, in case you haven't been on twitter. Great, another size 00 to stalk and envy. Read article>>

4 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anonymous says:

    love julie bowen! rock on betch!

    Posted on Reply
  2. Confused? says:

    Get with it betches, Kirstie Alley was on DWTS already, this season is a bunch of returning stars… She lost like 100 pounds (literally) the last time she was on the show!

    Posted on Reply
    • confused?? says:

      Until this entry I was unaware that dancing with the stars was still on so thanks for the update, you can go shave your back now.

      Posted on Reply
  3. Ouch, my eye says:

    SEMEN IN YOUR E-Y-E!?! what’s an e-y-e

    Posted on Reply
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