So last night's PLL was as ridiculous as they come and once again, 'lying despite an insane amount of reasoning that telling the truth is the way to go' remains the norm. But seriously, this shit has been going on for so long that even the characters are becoming self-aware.
Spencer: You guys need to know that I've been warned not to tell you.
Emily: What else is new.
Sure we're all for making shit up but I mean, even Aladdin got the memo in less than 60 minutes of airtime that eventually telling the truth makes things much fucking easier.
ABCF decided to liven things up this week by spoon feeding us hashtags that no one in their right mind would ever tweet. Things like #ezrasnewfamily or #ariabreastfeedsmalcom. I also forgot how gross Toby's truck is, and longed for an ABCF-inspired hashtag like #tobysfuckingdisgustingtruckfailed. Hashtags aside, nothing piqued our interest this week more than A and Mona's new flower arranging hobbies.
This week we got to thinking that A has invested more time and money in this 'stalking and terrorizing the Liars' thing than a normal teen invests in trying to get into college. Mona's giving ominous gardening tips and A had to have paid at least $200 for that floral arrangement. This shit better be on the resume at this point. On to our observations this week, which we hope are more on point than Emily's shitty acting strategies.
Emily
On Toby: "He gave me the courage to come out" - OH really? I thought that was to your dead girlfriend Maya's credit?
Someone casually insults Hanna on her weight or stupidity every week and this week it was Emily's turn: "Since when do you watch the news?"
I like Emily's reasoning: Just because Toby was in a black hoodie and has a large forehead and was seen in your kitchen seconds before someone tried to kill Spencer does not mean Toby is A!
I gave him a book about bikers where he happens to keep all his IDs. DO YOU GET IT!? HE HAS A MOTORCYCLE!
I feel like Emily's acting strategies are like Joey Tribbiani's. Mostly it's like "Make a face as if you don't speak English!"
REALLY EMILY? You're really gonna ignore the warning that someone's going to try to kill you from one of the girls that someone tries to kill on a bi-weekly basis? That just seems counter intuitive.
Aria
Why does baby Fitz look like just like Caleb…foreshadowing?
Gets to play mom/babysitter to Ezra's rando son who looks weirdly Asian for being entirely white.
Alex Mack is also looking for a job at Rosewood High?! Jesus Christ WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO WORK AT THE SCHOOL?!
If I were Aria my first reaction when that kid fell off the bed would be to laugh hysterically.
You took him to the hospital? #197 Overreacting, it's called a fucking band-aid.
Ezra: Do u wanna come over we're about to build a castle?
Aria: Fuck that
Spencer
A has more lyrical prose than a Lil' Wayne song. "Someone close to you will pay for your loose lips. And it won't be your plastic surgeon."
To Mona: "If you so much touch one hair on their heads I will smash you to pieces in an academic decathlon. I’ll tear you apart, either with my bare hands, or my rhetoric!”
Toby has a tattoo that says 901 free at last? That's pretty fucking weird. What are his other tattoos? 68 I owe you 1?
Did I blackout? Why is Spencer in the psych ward? Wouldn't she be in a regular hospital or do camping trips automatically lead to forced psychiatric intake?
These girls should invest in some night vision goggles since they're always in the fucking forest.
Hanna
Why are you dressed like you're in The Runaways?
Hanna's mom is such a delusional murderer. "Maybe I didn't hit him as hard as I thought. Maybe he woke up and realized he was in the wrong. Maybe this whole thing will go away. Maybe he'll text me for a froyo date."
Someone (presumably A and not the valet) parks Wilden's car in Hanna's garage. Obviously Hanna's gut reaction is to do the smart thing and drive the car (which would obviously have GPS police tracking in it) into a lake where no one would ever possibly find it! Also, how the fuck did you possibly push that car in all by yourself? I guess they don't call you Hefty Hanna for nothing.
I really want Hanna to scream Wilden's name like Tom Hanks ...WILSON!!!!
These girls need to smoke some weed.
you should start recapping The Lying Game…just as ridiculous a plot line, better tans and scenery
Posted on — Reply^this.
Posted on — ReplyIs the best. They really need to chill out and hit a blunt together.
Posted on — ReplyWhat about Toby being dead!
Posted on — ReplyI thought Ezra’s son was going to greet Aria with a Yaateeh.
Posted on — Reply“Did I blackout? Why is Spencer in the psych ward? Wouldn’t she be in a regular hospital or do camping trips automatically lead to forced psychiatric intake?”
hahah and do Spencer’s parents/sisters even know she’s missing? Also I thought this was a small town, is the psych ward/police department really unable to put some effort into discovering who the “Jane Doe” is, like maybe contact someone from the local high school before putting her on lock down?!
Posted on — Replywhat happened to arias moms boy toy from the coffee shop? i think he must be A
Posted on — Replyit’s dorota!
Posted on — ReplyHAHAHA yes. ^^
Posted on — ReplyUGH betches get your shit together the tattoo is the day Ali died which we learned like season 1 or 2 but the show got so ridiculous and off track that no one remembers anything
Posted on — ReplyEMILY: Look, I have been in agony the past week and I can’t even believe that I argued that Toby isn’t A the way I did.
SPENCER: No, I have been going down a shame spiral!
Posted on — Replygood one betch lolllzz
Posted on — ReplyAlso love how they completely forgot that Jason is missing…
Posted on — Replywait…. you really don’t want to mention how Hannah and Aria pushed a fucking car by themselves into the water and watch it magically sink…
Posted on — Replysolid Win a Date with Tad Hamilton reference
Posted on — ReplyI liked how Ezra just conveniently had a gigantic train set in his apartment ready to go (conductor hat and all) for his son’s first play date. Really jumped in full force to the whole fatherhood thing didn’t he?
Posted on — Reply“Why does baby Fitz look like just like Caleb…foreshadowing?”
dying
Posted on — Replythought the exact. same. thing.
Posted on — ReplyThey do need to some some weed. They would care a whole lot less about finding out who A is and care more about finding some weed in that weird god forsaken town. Who lives in Pennsylvania anyway?
Posted on — ReplyWHY IS THE TEMPERATURE NEVER COLDER THAN 60 DEGREES AND THEY LIVE IN THE NORTH EAST??? We know it’s well past October there.
Posted on — Reply“What are his other tattoos? 68 I owe you 1?” perfect
Posted on — ReplyThis post is fucking hilarious as usual. I’m dying. A real betch would have been “over” the whole A thing a long time ago. Is it just me, or did the switch the kid who plays Ezra’s son. Like he wasn’t weirdly aisan/native american looking before.
Favorite: “Mona’s giving ominous gardening tips and A had to have paid at least $200 for that floral arrangement. This shit better be on the resume at this point”
Posted on — Reply