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By The Betches on

It really amazes me that there can be a show on TV that is so fucking stupid but so fucking good. Sure we watch Revenge, but the two shows are different in that watching PLL is exciting while Revenge is on par with getting a root canal.

But we still seriously wonder, what if these girls just like, stopped caring? Like what if they didn't meet up late night in a closed coffee shop to discuss A-related shit and instead went home to watch the Bachelor Tell All Sean Says Stupid Shit? And what if Emily was like, alright Bruce have fun at the costume store, I'm gonna go do some laps. Or what if Hanna didn't stand in the street staring at Wilden as if she was still hefty and he was a McDonald's value meal?

I guess there wouldn't be a show but it's still a valid question. Other valid questions include: since when does Paige look like an actual girl? Why does Bing have the worst marketing team? And like, can't the "girl in the red coat" just like, get a new jacket? I hear Bloomingdales is having a sale.

Detective Wilden

Wilden showing up to the coffee shop is some of the worst acting I've seen since Kristen Bell in When in Rome.

Hanna's mom: Where are you going with this?
Wilden: I'm trying to recreate Bridesmaids. I loved those little pastries, what did you call them?
Hanna's mom: Cream puffs?

Police brutality much detective Wilden? Cece is so the new Rodney King.

Hanna

Hanna's so stupid thinking A will retire. There's no pension and social security check when your job is stalking teenagers.

"Are you sure Shana is gay? She barely looked at me."

Hanna: Mom what's wrong?
Hanna's mom: I think I may have killed detective Wilden and finished like, an entire pint of ice cream. It wasn't even froyo.

Aria

"New rule anytime we see something important to us down the road, goes in the phone" …. You know, that information might have been a little more usefull to me 5 SEASON AGO!

Ugh I am so over Ezra and his goddamn annoying son. Is it not enough that you're a creepy old teacher fucking his student do you really have to be a stellar dad in a polo at your kids soccer games as well?

Also the Ezraria thing is sort of getting boring, maybe it's time Aria fucked his brother to spice up her vegan takeout.

For some reason when Aria said to Spencer, "you're not the only one who can use a little team Sparia," I just wanted to scream SPARTAAAA!

Emily

Not that any of us have ever like worked as a barista, but since when is it okay for employees to chill on the premises after hours and indulge in the product for free with their accident prone friends?

Ok so now Em is like a pro hacker, did Nolan give her a few lessons at the gay bar?

I do know I like your leather sleeved denim jacket but I don't know if society is ready for this lesbian love triangle on network television.

Spencer

Sick new 'do Melissa. Who was it inspired by? Your mannish mom or Jenny from the block?

This Aria rescuing Spencer thing reminded me of when Miranda blew out her back and Carrie sent Aidan to pick her up from the bathroom.

Aria's mom is all like "I'm not a regular mom, I'm your English teacher."

Ok so can someone clue me in on why these electronic showers are all of a sudden so popular. First we see it in Mindy then in Girls? When have chic showers became as trendy as like Abraham Lincoln and terrorists?

Alright Spencer, it's just a plastic plunger not a fucking metal chain, you could have definitely figured that one out.

Spencer to Aria about the Toby shower stint: "This is revenge" ...No, this is PLL.

"A"

What is A now, a florist?

 

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12 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Bored betch says:

    After every episode i have the feeling that finally there will happen something REALLY exiting, but every time it ends super boring.

    I also get bored by the whole calebs dad situation

    Posted on Reply
  2. Classy Betch says:

    YES this is perfect!!! OMG I caaannnttt haha. Can we also talk about WHY THE HELL Hanna & her mom drove back to the “scene of the crime” to look for Wilden after he pulled out a gun on Hanna’s mom?? That’s not brave that’s just stupid. Nice one betches
    -A

    Posted on Reply
  3. Spicy Betch says:

    YAS BOOBOOS, YAS TO ALL O’ THIS.

    But forreal, isn’t it usually Emily that gets stuck in weird predicaments à la Spencer in the shower?

    I did love the Queen Victoria Grayson’s cameo, not gonna lie!

    Posted on Reply
  4. therealthing says:

    Can we at least mention how incredibly fake Ezra’s mom’s pearls looked? She’s supposed to iver loaded. Get some nonplastic jewelry, fitzscary.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Beax says:

    About Wren seriously if a hot doctor was hitting on any of these girls in real life it wouldn’t even be a question they’d be sleeping with him in 2 seconds

    Posted on Reply
    • yes... says:

      because hot doctors routinely hit on seventeen-year-olds. I can overlook most of the absurdity in this show, but the amount of pedophilia is getting to be too much.

      Posted on Reply
  6. ErikaLuxe says:

    I was distracted by Mrs.Fitzscary’s purse….trying to see if it was really a Chanel purse that they used or one of those Forever 21 knockoffs. I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt though, they’ve been making a ton of purchases from some good stores in the past.
    But still….it was a 10sec Chanel cameo, this is PLL…anything can happen apparently.

    Being in steam doesn’t block your “sixth” sense of thinking someone’s next to you, she’s def losing it

    Posted on Reply
  7. Your Name says:

    +1 for the mean girl reference

    Posted on Reply
  8. Hannah says:

    One Hannah needs her hair done. Aria is kind of annoying—omg why is my boyfriend like not giving me attention. I’m in highschool and he has a son…love or no love..Ezra Fitz is a child molester..

    Emily: every time she talked, I wanted to hit her. She just offers up useless advice and I wouldn’t be said if she died on the show

    Spencer: you kissed Wren, you didn’t hook up and if you were really scared, you would have got out of that steamer DUH

    Hannahs mom and Hannah: stupid..everyone knows every cop car has a dash cam…duh
    you never return to the scene of a crime

    Posted on Reply
  9. Your Name says:

    +100000 for the Wedding Singer reference

    Posted on Reply
  10. cheers betch says:

    What even was this episode?
    Doesn’t it bother anyone that in order to have completed medical school and been a doctor for every season of this show Wren would have to be like upwards of 33? Making Spencer like, half his age?
    Also it’s SO annoying when the characters on this show are legitimately innocent but then make themselves look guilty in the aftermath.  Like, Wilden pulled a gun on Ashley, call 911!
    Can’t believe no one commented on Paige’s lesbian sound track.

    Posted on Reply
    • dr. betch says:

      I graduate from med school in two months and Im 26. But even at 26 dating a high schooler is beyond pedo.

      Posted on Reply
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