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By The Betches on

We're starting to forget why we're recapping this show. Like I was sitting here laughing at Jess looking like a complete fool tripping over her heels at the car show but only because it was just so sad. Where has Schmidt gone? Physically he is there, but spiritually I feel empty. Bring back the douchebag jar, bring back some episodes about relationships, I'm starting to like Winston for fuck sake.

Long story short, Schmidt is mad that Nick doesn't love him as much as he loves Nick and Jess gives Cece shit for being a model and for wanting to go out on her birthday. When did this show become Sesame Street? After the first debate?

But actually, nothing about this episode was relatable. NO girls get into boob slap fights -- that was so weird. Is the producer some skeevy perv? Honestly the only thing that really saved the ep was Jess getting trapped in that Ford while she was supposed to be showing off how great the car was... It's not that hard to get out of, I promise! ....and Nadia, the stupid russian model.

Nadia: Yeah we go out tonight... let the dogs out...catch gypsies...ha. I so excited, I shake dis ting dat my momma gave me. Yulo.

Nadia: Dance Monkeh!
Jess: I don't want to (or something to that effect)
Nadia: Monkeh no!

Nadia: Dis is Vilmer Valderrama
Jess: No it's not

Nick: Who's your favorite actor?
Schmidt: Brian Austin Green

Cece: You embarassed me in front of my collegaues! (model friends)
Jess: Are you kidding me, it's not like you work at the UN

So betches, what did you think? Am I being too hard on New Girl because I took too much adderall or was last night just genuinely boring? Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.

13 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Anne says:

    Not going to lie I LOL’d at the fat schmidt flashbacks

    Posted on Reply
  2. LT says:

    it makes me sad that New Girl is TTH…I mean, being sponsored by Ford? come on.

    Posted on Reply
  3. yeah says:

    New Girl is totally dying.. (and so is Modern Family) Thankgod for the Mindy Project

    Posted on Reply
  4. Sscccc says:

    New girl recaps are one of my favs keep em coming!

    Posted on Reply
  5. Alex says:

    Sophomore slump. They’ll recover.

    Posted on Reply
  6. Jessica says:

    Yeah, stop blogging about this show. Hop on the New Normal instead.

    Posted on Reply
    • Love New Normal says:

      The New Normal is fucking phenomenal, please do recaps immediately

      Posted on Reply
  7. S says:

    Gag, terrible ep.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Love Schmidt says:

    I laughed when Schmidt said “over my turtle disease-ridden dead body”
    and Nick asked Schmidt who his favorite rapper, not actor, was when Schmidt answered Brian Austin Green

    Posted on Reply
  9. X says:

    Maybe if you got the quotes right you’d like it better. Schmidt told Nick that Brian Austin Green was his favorite rapper, which is much funnier. ncriight and

    Posted on Reply
  10. Veronika says:

    I loved this episode for Nick.. and the bro love at the end.

    Posted on Reply
  11. NYC says:

    The line was:

    N: Who’s your favorite rapper?
    S: Brian Austin Green
    N: Yeah, he’s cool

    Way funnier that BAG is his fave rapper, not actor. That would just be sad.

    Posted on Reply
  12. S says:

    How’s it dying? It’s hilar.

    Posted on Reply
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