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By The Head Pro on

Dear Head Pro,

I hate my bf when he is drunk. Ok so it's not as scary as it sounds, he doesn't beat me or get really mean when he drinks. When we drink together it's a grand ole time. But my problem is that when I am sober or playing catch up to him he annoys me so much I get in a terrible mood and cannot have a fun time. And this isn't the annoyed that he is having more fun than me it's the annoyed where I cannot stand the sound of his voice, he says stupid shit, and worst of all pulls me around, squeezes me and thinks that when I am whimpering and whining to stop that I am playing along. I have tried to get away from him in these circumstances by dipping through crowds and just talking to my friends. But he gets upset and thinks I'm trying to ditch him (which is true I guess). I suck at drinking now so getting wasted quickly on my own before him is not an option.

Do both of us have major drinking issues? Do I subconsciously hate my boyfriend? I should also probably mention I'm def a UGH but out of college now so why can't I go hard with my boyfriend and friends as members of society?

Dear […],

Adulthood brings with it untold pleasures. You can smoke cigarettes, get sanctimonious about Chick Fil A sandwiches, rent pornographic movies, and, once you’re 21, drink in public. One of the downsides of growing up, one that no one ever tells you about, is the realization that everyone is fucking terrible when they are drunk and you are not. It’s a fact of life. Drinking, while fun, makes us absolutely retarded, literally impeding our mental faculties. That’s why people usually do it socially in places specifically designed for that purpose instead of, say, at the dentist’s office. Your boyfriend doesn’t sound like anything malicious, just a drunk bro.

Still, you have a right to at least some consideration when you’re out with him, so that’s unfortunately a conversation you’ll have to have with him sober. Letting him know that he’s really disrespectful when he’s drunk might be all you need. I wouldn’t worry too much about being a UGH. To me, that’s more about mentality than it is function. When we grow up, all of us become UGH’s to some degree. Life just gets in the way. It’s good that you’re still down to go out, even if you’re not as blackout as everyone around you. Just keep in mind that, depending on how much going out factors into who he is, you may have simply outgrown your boyfriend. Change might be good for his health and general wellbeing, but that’s usually something that has to happen naturally. If you consistently find yourself being a dud when you’re out, it may be time to find some new friends that are more on your level.

Sloppy Kisses,

Head Pro


 

Head Pro,

I started dating this bro two years ago. As time went on and we both went our separate ways (aka home after college), our "relationship" turned into a casual, see each other when we can thing. When I started grad school, we lived closer so we hung out pretty frequently, but it was basically a friends with benefits situation. I obviously cared about this bro more than he did me, and he kinda started to treat me like shit, so I decided to cut it off a few months ago. He didn't do much to stop it, but we are civil and I am still friends with his friends, but him and I talk pretty infrequently.

Anyway, I had a recent totally random run in one afternoon with one of his roommates. I had met him several times and we've only casually spoken, but we both were done with what we needed to do so we decided to get drinks.  Drinks turned into more drinks, dinner, walking around the city... spending the whole day/night together. We totally hit it off. We since have been texting here and there, and met up for drinks once after. We kissed but that's it. We've made plans to hang out again.

They are two totally different people as far as I can see, and they don't really hang out or anything other than at the house or with a group. But still, do you think this is totally wrong? I also don't even know if my "ex" knows, and if I should even ask. What do you think? I do kind of like the kid… we get along really well and I'd like to see where it goes.  But then I wonder if he has any preconceived notions about me because of my relationship with his roommate (aka does he think I’m going to casually fuck him). I keep telling myself to do whatever will make me happy... but I just don't know if I should keep doing what I'm doing or quit while I'm ahead. Thoughts?

Thanks,

Can't think of a clever name

Dear Lazy,

I don’t really see the issue, apart from the two of them living together. That could potentially make things awkward as fuck, though an easy solution is to just not stay at his place until things are a little more steady and serious. Guys tend to take issue with their friends dating girls they considered their great loves or with whom they had an otherwise tumultuous relationship, but that’s about it. An on-again, off-again FWB-type situation that started two years ago and ended for good several months ago? Unless the guy’s incredibly insecure or whatever, he shouldn’t have much of an issue. We get jealous over the people we love, not so much over the people we used to fuck. In this situation, a guy’s mentality is usually “Good for him. I hit it first.

I’m not sure why you’re so worried about “preconceived notions.” What, do you think that if your ex tells the new guy that you like a finger in your butt during sex that you’ll somehow be powerless to prevent that from happening? Are you afraid that, upon learning that you’ve in the past been down with a FWB situation, your new bro will transform from a well-meaning gentleman into some kind of sex fiend? The way I see it, if that were to happen, your ex basically did you a favor, because you would have found out that the guy sucked eventually. Stop overthinking it, and just do whatever feels natural.

Only Kisses,

Head Pro

Got a fucked up question that only the Head Pro can help with? Email him at headpro@betcheslovethis.com and don't forget to follow him on twitter @betcheheadpro.

12 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Your Name says:

    To the first girl, it doesn’t sound like he’s being disrespectful, it sounds like you’re not in love with him.  Might be time to say goodbye.

    Posted on Reply
    • First girl says:

      Well yes, that would be the obvious answer. Which is why I asked HP if that was the case to which he gave a beautiful answer. Work on your reading comprehension, commenter. And thanks head pro again.

      Posted on Reply
      • Uhh..... says:

        Don’t be such a bitch to betches trying to help you out.  You should know if you’re not in love with someone you dumb ass- you don’t need to write in asking a stranger if you are in love with your boyfriend or not.  Your boyfriend is probably getting so blackout because you’re annoying as fuck.

        Posted on Reply
        • Your Name says:

          Once again, read closer. I’m perfectly in love with him just thought it was bad I thought he was annoying when he was drunk and I was not.

          Posted on Reply
          • fellowUGH says:

            Yeah don’t be such a cunt.  If you’re like “ok, he’s getting too wasted all the time and he needs to be more focused on work and less sloppy” that is one thing.  If you’re saying “the sound of his voice” literally makes your skin crawl, you might not be in love.

            Posted on Reply
            • Your Name says:

              If you loved someone so much wouldn’t you want to hang out with him and not his drunk self when he repeats the same things all night and he gets frustrated when I can’t understand the mumbling. Your shallowness of thinking and use of vulgarity is really annoying. No one asked for your help.

              Posted on Reply
  2. haha says:

    “I hit it first”

    Posted on Reply
  3. To the first girl says:

    Girls and guys deal with the dreded post-grad depression that is real life differently. To me it sounds like his annoying drunken antics are an attempt to keep college life going while you’re at the point where you’re over it. Tell him to grow the fuck up. He’ll either make an effort to keep you happy or he won’t, in which case say goodbye.

    Posted on Reply
  4. heydon says:

    hey so this guy i talk to he says im ughhh annoying to him and i clearly ask him if I’m annoying then why do you like me and want to talk to me! he says because im down to earth. But its like you annoy me too why do men think were suppose to go around their agenda to make them happy, if they cant do that in return. in return were to needy in clingy sometimes i think people don’t know the real meaning of clingy.. beacuse no one dont want to have a empty conversation. i think im to strong minded for kid games

    Posted on Reply
  5. Name says:

    you don’t love him

    Posted on Reply
  6. Your Name says:

    My name is chloe and i want to testify of the good work done by a faithful lord masuka, a spell caster. in my life i never thought there is such thing as spiritual intercession. my problem started 5 months back when the father of my kids started putting up some strange behavior, i never knew he was having an affair outside our matrimonial home. it dawn on me on that faithful day 4th of April 21st 4:23pm when he came to the house to pick his things that was when i knew that situation has gotten out of hand and he then told me he was quitting the marriage which i have built for over 6 years, i was confused and dumbfounded i called on family and friends but to no avail. two months after i started having problem with my kids welfare rent-age and all of it, i really went through hell. until a day i was browsing on the internet and i happen to meet lord masuka his email .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) i never believed on this but i needed my man back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it but you know a problem shared is half solved after a 2days my husband called me telling me that he his coming back home and that was all. now we are living happily, friends contact him on this email: .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address) for help

    Posted on Reply
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