Tracker Pixel for Entry
By The Betches on

Yes, you know who we're talking about. It's the guy with the chiseled abs whose summer polos perfectly match his boat shoes, the one who hooks up with girls yet everyone has an inkling that it's just for show, the guy whose dad has a voice that's just a little too soprano for comfort. He's the maybe gay bro and well, he may be gay.

We're not talking about the guy who is so fabulously homosexual that his adeptness for Gaga sing-a-longs combined with his gorgeous gay-face confirms everything he hasn't. The MGB wouldn't be caught dead at a Britney Spears concert or wearing a denim jacket, but he usually boasts things that excite us, like puffer vests, a home address on a major shopping street, and aggressive dance moves.

Don't be embarrassed if you've made out with him, you're not the only one. In fact, many of us have had awkward sexual encounters with the MGB because this bro's sexuality is as perplexing as figuring out why your dumb friend keeps beating you in Scramble with Friends. The MGB will often confuse a betch by doing lot of typical manly shit, like lifting weights, talking about how much he can lift, playing a sport, and spending quality time drinking with his bros. Spotting him is often harder than navigating an LF Sale.

simon and ryan

The mystery of the MGB is more intriguing than a model who doesn't do coke. When #1 talking shit with your besties, the conversation will always at one point or another lead back to the pivotal question, "Well is he or isn't he!? I don't get it, like can he just come out already???" Unlike our out and fabulous #52 Gay BFFS the maybe gay bro has something to hide and secrets he'll never tell. That or you've convinced yourself he's just like, super metro with an unusual affinity for Passion Fruit-tinis. If you're the girl who's brainwashed herself into believing this, you probably want to or already date one. There's even the girl who hooks up with him for his Park Avenue apartment and wouldn't think twice about continuing to date him upon hearing he bats for the other team. Undoubtedly, this is your friend who hates sex and whose husband will likely have a "best friend" in the back house.

That's not to say that the MBG can't be straight. After all, there's a sexual spectrum and maybe this guy has the kind of sweet sensitive heart that allows him to have 20 minutes of platonic hand holding with his female friends who will keep him in the loop and publicly defend his sexuality. And hey, there's a part of you that even hopes you'll never find out, in the interest of maintaining intrigue and conversation points.

Though he may seem like the perfect combo between the SAB and the Gay BFF, the MGB isn’t something betches actively seek out for the purposes of hooking up or dating. Often a well-meaning sorority sister set us up with him because “you’d look good together,” or we drunkenly met him post-midnight at the club, and our vodka sodas told us his velvet loafers were totally unquestionable.

When debating whether to actually date the MGB, the decision is simpler than a trust fund baby. Betches don’t need to be a sexuality weathervane for an ego boost - we simply look in the mirror. Unsubscribe. While he’s great for a sushi date or making straight bros jealous, the MGB is potentially playing a game that we could lose by default. Remember girls, ‘B’ stands for betch, not beard.

<< #147 Titanic

#149 Themed Parties >>

33 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Jamie says:

    I know that guy was gay now…..so hot though….fuck.

    Posted on Reply
  2. Gay BFF says:

    As a gay BFF, I hate predrinking with the maybe gay bro because I too am confused. It’s stressful and always results in blackout. Waking up from blackout and finding out the MGB was a total gentleman and politely removed my hand from his crotch at the bar is always the worst. Then we have an eventual awkward sober run-in at starbucks while he orders a more complicated drink than me, and I am again left confused.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    “there’s a sexual spectrum” ...reminds me of nolan from revenge. damn do i miss that show

    Posted on Reply
  4. betch says:

    and thank you you’ve finally redeemed yourselves betches!

    Posted on Reply
  5. truebetch says:

    this shit is so true. and there are SO many of them out there. great for advice wink

    Posted on Reply
  6. A not-maybe Gay Bro says:

    As a Bro who happens to be gay, I would just like to say that this is by far the best post you have ever written. This is so true to my life in so many ways. And don’t worry, betches, the gays have just as hard of a time deciphering these MGBs as you do.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    THIS WAS MY LIFEEE

    Posted on Reply
  8. RFTL says:

    I hooked up with a man of questionable sexuality not too long ago myself. He was a nice guy, I was just a little horrified that I think would have preferred my dad. Then I wrote a post about it that got a shit ton of controversy out in the blogosphere.

    Come on, people - I am a homophile, not a total stereotyper. But can’t I make jokes about how I accidentally hooked up with a Maybe Gay Bro? I think so. Yes, I think so.

    http://www.ringfingertanline.com/2012/03/18/all-i-wanted-was-a-gay-best-friend/

    Posted on Reply
  9. anonymous says:

    You guys spelled bitch wrong, I just thought you should know.

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    THATS THE WORST PART. I WISH MINE WAS STRAIGHT. fuck.

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    Omg thank GOD you pointed that out!! ...you’re not funny

    Posted on Reply
  12. Katie says:

    TTH to be clever. If you don’t like it, leave. Or better yet, go play in traffic.

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anon says:

    Kind’ve like Schmidt

    Posted on Reply
  14. Gbetch says:

    ...TTH. As a gay betch, my experience with these guys has been that they are incredibly charming and hook up/flirt with any and every (decent looking) girl to prove a point that there’s no “maybe” about their sexuality at all.  Betches and fellow Gbetches beware—these are the only guys that could ever potentially come between our betchunion.  Had to remove myself from the situation completely when I found out a good betch friend of mine was seriously involved with one and had complete blinders on about it.  This bro came after me hard, no pun intended, in public and private.  Don’t talk to either of them anymore and all parties involved just pretend all the warning signs were never there. Can’t help a betch see if she’s ok being blind. These bros are truly toxic!

    Posted on Reply
  15. It'sBrittanyBetch says:

    Sadly, this resonates with me. As frustrating it is to be hooking up with a MGB, the amount of shit talking points & endless mindfucking mystery possibly outweighs the negatives. I have been hoping there would be a post on this! Bravo <3

    Posted on Reply
  16. Anonymous says:

    Same boat. These guys are confusing

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    so he hooks up with girls, drinks with his bros, lifts weights, plays sports and doesn’t act like a flaming homosexual…how do you come to the conclusion that he is gay?

    most guys at my school wear pastel colored clothing or tight fitting tees

    Posted on Reply
  18. Gbetch says:

    In my case I knew once he started coming over to hang while lying to his gf about where he was.  Because I was the only gay in our mostly hetero circle, and am very out but not flaming, I’m friends with the bros too so I really did just think he was openminded and we were just buds and never once considered him a MGB.  Then he would casually tell me how hot I was, inappropriately touching began, and then he started talking about how he dreamt about a threesome with me and his gf (who I was good friends with at the time, mind you).  He prob just wanted “an experience” and has every intention on marrying the girl (the alternative is that he is evil and is going to do whatever the fuck he wants to with whomever he wants, even while married) but knowing what I now know I had to stop talking to them both; especially when he continued the flirtation in front of her at times and she just casually ignored the shit out of it.  So, yea, MGBs mindfuck the shit out of both sides.  I could go on and on about this bro but let’s just say, when you know, you fucking know and these bros only let that shit out behind close doors…so some may never know. If this is crazy confusing it because we’re dealing with one of the most confused/confusing bros imaginable!

    Posted on Reply
  19. Anonymous says:

    Trust - you just know ... or don’t know. Therein lies the problem ! It’s the way they talk and act paired with other suspect activity… but it is still annoyingly inconclusive.

    Posted on Reply
  20. shammyyy says:

    i have the most complicated relationship with a MGB. i think its time to let it go.

    Posted on Reply
  21. Stunned says:

    Are you stalking me? This is so on point.

    Posted on Reply
  22. Student says:

    I was friends with a bunch of MGBs in undergrad (there was an entire frat at my school full of MGBs). One thing that I noticed they would do whenever they wanted to “test” if a new guy was an MGB was to make a joke about going down on another guy, finding another guy hot, etc., and then immediately follow up with “no homo no homo!” or some comment about a random girl’s ass.

    They could tell if the guy was an MGB if he went along with their jokes, like “oh you know it,” or “yeah I did that last night too” or something like that. If he didn’t, like say he responded with “Uhm… No. I’m not interested,” then they’d just brush it off and stop talking to him. Period. Didn’t even bother making conversation again.

    This was CONSISTENT. I’ve since watched other guys who behave this way and SO FAR it’s a fail proof way to tell if a guy is a MGB or not.

    Posted on Reply
  23. Anonymous says:

    I totally agree like there’s this guy in one of my classes who is the perfet MGB and it’s so frustratin I just wanna ask him haha

    Posted on Reply
  24. n/a says:

    Yes, I’m body and fashion conscious and I sleep with a lot of girls; but gay? I think your theory presents a slippery lubed up slope, the likes of which I see all the time: most [beautiful] women are incapable of coping with rejection by men who’d otherwise be the proverbial “perfect catch”, and find it much easier to label them “gay”.

    BRACE YOURSELVES

    You’re conclusions are largely misguided and seem based in misconstrued encounters, particularly of the sexual kind.

    Sex, in large part, is a bottom line transaction, a pragmatically concocted plan to benefit from a simple ratio: time and money spent to how quickly we can get in a girl’s pants—disgusting, I know, but it’s just what we do. If I can spend $0.00 on a woman and still sleep with her, I am utterly victorious.

    Also, have I jerked off already? Sometimes whether or not I have sex depends on who wins a race between the girls I’ve sent mass-sexts to and myself, jerking off to free internet porn as I wait for responses. If I cum before any one girl calls back, I’m staying home, alone. I one calls, then that’s what’s on the menu for the evening.

    If I don’t call you again after sex, it’s because there’s another eight of you waiting for the same thing, not because I want to bang my buddies.

    For every hot girl out there, there’s someone sick of fucking her.

     

     

    Posted on Reply
  25. The MGB's Best Bitch says:

    As the best betch to more then a few MBGs, I do in fact defend my MBGs sexuality to the bitches they are trying to fuck, and I see this “perspective” as proof of a textbook MGB.

    For the MBG, the bottom line is to cum because they don’t allow themselves the pleasure of actually getting off from the gender they desire. So it truly doesn’t matter to this bro whether it be from porn or a ‘hot girl” that wants to bang. Their ideal girl is one that requires no effort or romancing to get into bed because they have no genuine interest in building a loving relationship. Their interest is in building up the facade.
    I know many straight bros are interested in low effort sex, but we’re not talking about guys who fuck and chuck your average bitch, were talking about well-rounded guys who have their shit together and deny top notch betches because they weren’t interested in the first place.

    Well spoiler alert: MGB stories end one of two ways:
    1. they come to terms with their sexuality and turn out to be the “perfect catch” on the gay market.
    2. they end up settling for the last bitch they are with when they want to settle down and play house.

    Don’t worry MGB, we know the real reason you’re “sick of fucking her”.

    Posted on Reply
  26. Anonymous says:

    So a guy can’t be out, and basically still do all those things with people knowing he’s gay?

    The Gay Bro

    Posted on Reply
  27. Not a flamer says:

    He could just be a bisexual enjoying the best of both worlds.

    Posted on Reply
  28. another Gbetch says:

    They really are toxic… mind fucking to the extreme. Sexting by night, ignoring GBFFs by day, the MGB simply isn’t ready to play

    Posted on Reply
  29. BetchesBeTrippin says:

    So, I totally just got home from hooking up with a MGB and I am not even a little bit sorry about it!

    Posted on Reply
  30. KC says:

    You left out that if you date the MGB he will mostly be pissed off at you all the time and come up with reasons to yell at you, but won’t actually break it off cause he’s using you as his beard. And if he broke up with you, his guy buddies wouldn’t be quite so comfortable having sleepovers at his house… Yeaaah, if you end up with a guy like this DUMP HIM asap!

    Posted on Reply
Post your comment: