BETCHES LOVE THIS

my exact life right now… dead on thanks for the advice

this is perfect/inspirational/well done.

this is complete perfection. best post in a while.

so true! except the guy i’m in this situation is more of that guy who waits to text me just as I’m deciding I’m done with his shit.

guess I gotta betch up and forget about him, i’ll find an athlete in my “rocks for jocks” class!

No joke—i just got out of a pseudo-relationship with a narcissist—lasted 2 years. They don’t care about you, please be a real betch and move on. Worst scum on earth I am not shitting you.

THANK YOU JESIS (i mean betches.)

I love this article and before a month a go I had been dealing with the same situation. Right when you think you are in complete control, you’re not and it slaps you right in the face. Now, I may pretend I am a classy betch and I do not recommend this to anyone, but this is how I got rid of the guy.
I came over to stay the night at his house after going out to the bars without him, which I believe he already found annoying. In my drunken stupor, I managed to pass out a little too hard and woke up to find I peed myself and on him. HA!
Now, the morning of I was mortified, but when he ended up acting like a total asshole about something that should be hilarious, it made it a lot easier to get rid of him because he slowly stopped talking to me.
You may be thinking: “Well, you still lose because that is disgusting.” But my fellow betches, drinking is the reason we all have funny and entertaining stories. I had absolutely no control over what happened, I’m pretty sure since I couldn’t make up my mind about what to do with this “relationship”, my body took care of it for me. I have told just about everyone I know this story because it is so fucking awesome and I still have every one of those friends.
Not only do I make someone else’s day with such a great story, I also don’t have to hear from the guy that tormented and stressed me out for seven months. Why do we let people like that get to us and stay in our lives. Betches are better than that. We are what makes life fucking awesome and what makes you more awesome then being able to laugh hysterically at yourself. That morning I may have been the girl that wet the bed, but I now believe that I am the girl who peed on the asshole. Because don’t we all wish he could demoralize that WGA in some way..what better way to demoralize someone then pee on them?

Sorry to break it to you, but peeing on yourself and the guy your in bed with is NOT hilarious, just disgusting.  Peeing on someone is never the answer.

EW.

This is amazing.

well that was long-winded

Its not taking control back when he stops talking to you because you peed on him?

simplest and most effective advice. on to the next one.

“Peeing on someone is never the answer” lol.

So sad that this had to be spelled out for you, girl but that story is disgusting.

Gross.

This article is stupid.  If a guy won’t go away it’s because you ALLOW him into your life.  Stop trying to misdirect your stupid mistakes.  TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

Perfect. After 2+ years asked him to not contact me anymore.  Did not go out for his birthday.  Get a text saying “he’d love to hang out as friends”.  Response (after much internal debate): I don’t wanna hang out because I know where that leads and I don’t want that, sorry.” 
Felt better than sleeping with him.

Your friends’ days aren’t made by that story, trust. They are likely so stunned by the enthusiasm and excitement with which you relay it that they can’t find it within themselves to tell you the truth in that moment. As a stranger, this isn’t an issue for me. While I’m sure you’re better off without this bro in your life, don’t kid yourself by believing that pissing his bed while blacked out was a good thing. Shit happens, any betch will agree to that. But it is necessary she recognize her faux pas when one is made. Wetting the bed is so not winning. The ways to get rid of the ones who WGA are by becoming superior to and evolving past them. Not by doing gross shit that repulses them and most likely every other bro in his frat/that he comes in to contact with. What do you think your nickname is? Fuller?

In case you didn’t see I didn’t do it on purpose I hadn’t even known it had happened and in retrospect it is funny what am I supposed to run away in shame fuck that, shit happens and I can deal with my problems I’m just saying the incident helped me realized that certain people are better to keep in your life then others because your true friends love you for any shit that may happen to you and for me to be completely immune to embarrassment now because I made it through that horrific event is a feat in itself. as I stated in my comment I said NOT to do that.
The moral of my story was laugh at yourself and keep the people who actually care about you close and those who don’t give a shit about you far far away.
But thank you for reiterating things I already knew.

Perfection, just what I needed.  Nice job betches.

“I have told just about everyone I know this story because it is so fucking awesome” ... lmao, no bitch it really isnt.
that’s the dumbest story i’ve ever heard, but i’m glad you can convince yourself that you won. #notwinning

Thank you for repeating things I already stated. I never said it was a cool thing to do and I explicitly said NOT to do that. I didn’t choose for that to happen either..I was completely humiliated.I couldn’t stop compulsively shaking all day.
The reason I told the story was to show that the people who matter the most and truly care about you and love you even though you’re a retard. Those who don’t walk away with no decency.
The moral, which no one caught on to, was to laugh at yourself and move one to things that matter and in this case people who matter.
I am not a sorority slut who just pees on people. I had a misfortune and I came back from it with more pride than I thought I could salvage.
But thank you for reminding me about people who are too ignorant to look beyond what really matters in this world.

PREACH BETCHES PREACH

This is sooo relevant to my life right now. Thanks betches. Best post in a while

couldn’t have read this at a more perfect time.

this brings it back to the true essence of betcheslovethis. well done ladies. a true danger to betches that must be crushed

HAHAHAHA STOP

I’m just assuming that this happened to someone you don’t like so you’re posing as them to make them look pathetic on a widely-read website??  Because if you’re really sincere right now, and really the person to whom this happened, then I am sad for you and how obsessed you are with attention.  The fact that you peed is gross.  The fact that you are trying so hard to convince yourself it’s funny is just really really sad… #losing sorry to tell ya, you poor little daddy issue, former homeschool freshman lost in a new world

dumbass did you even read the fucking article? betches are still human and you can have made mistakes but the article says to do exactly what you bitched about it not saying, bye

bravo

this is amazing

Uhhh, if you were trying so hard to ‘get rid’ of the WGA then why did you go to his place after the bar…which he wasn’t even at? Clearly there are better options rather than pissing your pants. #awk #sorryyouwereabootycall

wtf this is my life for the past six months. he’s that guy who you want to hate, but you cant. its totally messed up my guy situation this year.

Betches,
Loved this post. Applicable to any betch’s life (even though we pretend like no guy has a hold over us). Other “betches,” have some class. Anyone can talk shit on the internet, so remember you’re a betch and do it over bbm about people you actually know (and real situations). Subtlety people, subtlety.

your friends are laughing at you behind your back.

OMG are you kiddingggg BBM??? Thats so like not betchy wtf

this is sad, the fact that you had to explain yourself in a million different ways shows that even you know you suck. next time, dont tell people you peed yourself weirdo

Way to take back control betch.

Calling fellow betches out over stupid nuances like having the second betchest type of phone is something only a fucking lifeless loser would do. You just ruined a perfectly betchy comment over a phone. Happy? Also obnoxious writing got old in like 6th grade?  Get the fuck over it, and like get the fuck out of here.

Also betches, I <3 this post.

Hahaha okay everyone who commented on this “gross” and “that’s disgusting”.... You guys are obvi fucking boring because drunken and embarrassing “party fouls” are fucking hilarious no matter what. Stop being prudes, everyone does embarrassing shit when they’re drunk and laughing about it and dgafing is the betchiest way to respond. More power to you pee in his bed girl, fucking hilarious.

This is perfect. My life the last year and a half. Also in addition to taking longer to respond to his text, making sure your not the first or last one to text. Ugh it’s so disgusting to even “care”

My effing life right now!

Welcome back betches - that was fucking classically pinpointed. I’m much more drawn to your posts that are about more than what just happened on the last fucking episode of who gives a fuck and have to do with what betches are only interested in hearing about anyways - themselves. Any betch who thinks they’ve never had a WGA is clearly dellusional and needs to accept it as a by-product of being a betch and having dudes all over our shit day and night.

Ugh thought this was going to literally be about the one that wont go away bc they are F*ing obsesssedd losers that no matter what you do will just not get over it.

Whatevs. Don’t even try to justify yourself. You didn’t use the restroom, you used the bed…like a dog. Exactly like a dog. You’re not a betch, you’re a bitch…literally.

I thought this only happened to me?

Um, excuse me betches, but that pee story IS hilarious. Wow, betches need to get a sense of humor and learn to look at things in a different light sometimes. Just because you stepped out of your “oh so pretty, oh so pristine” little panties and did something gross like pee (oh god help us, a bodily function!) doesn’t mean it’s not hilarious. It just means that little prissy biddie betches usually don’t have much of a sense of humor.

Betch pride. Yeah.

In order to get rid of a guy that I have feelings for, but I know is not good for me, i.e. a WGA, I tend to do what I refer to as “push the relationship to the point of no return.” This means that I do something so that there is no way I could return to the situation without losing serious face or all self respect. I agree peeing on ones self is a bit much, but provoking a serious fight where the “kind of an asshole” becomes a real asshole, should be enough to make one not go back. The effect is heightened if the assholeness behavior is demonstrated in front of your peers. If done correctly, you come out looking like a true betch (not a bitch) and they look like the biggest douche ever. Also, you can reach the same result by being completely obnoxious and mean to WGA and force him away. But be careful, this may also result in them wanting you more.  Of course, simply walking away is ideal, but let’s be honest, if you could easily do that, the person wouldn’t be your WGA. 

Great article betches. How about an article on the one you want to go away but won’t? That’s what I was hoping this article was about.

I sooo needed this when I was in college. Wish you betches were around then.

http://jleesblog.com

im a guy. i’m all for self-empowerment, for anyone. nothing in the article is wrong, or a fabrication of what a lot of women go though, i believe that. and i think a lot of guys are unappreciative and assuming, which leads to arrogance. 

BUT i will say, this article conveniently leaves out the female alternative to this less than perfect behavior. just as men do what this article dissects, women counter than by always leaving a glimmer of hope with the guy/s who isn’t/aren’t their top choice, but who they like just enough to keep on the leash. if the #1 option falls out, they’ll fall back onto this guy i’m talking about- until they’re bored. they do this as insurance, as it always allows for them to feel desirable by SOMEBODY, even if their #1 hope has rejected or ignored them. whats crushing for the poor saps who get sucked into this, is when the females #1 option does follow through, which leaves the poor sap kinda crushed and feeling foolish. trust me, ive been there.

it takes two to tango and there’s always another side to a story. the battle of the sexes marches on. cool informing article.

um… ew.

thank you thank you thank you

i just got a text from my wga and desperately needed an advice and thought maybe betches can help. well, i was sure right. this wga has been around for a year now and im in a situation where i dont know if i want it to continue. unfortunately though, im not sure i can betch-up even after reading this…but betches thank youuu i do feel better

cowards.

Friend showed me this article and this is coming from a guy’s point of view.  Guys can be assholes.  But honestly if the guy has been around more than 2 years and hasn’t done anything so douchey that you stopped talking to him in 2 years he can’t be that bad.  We aren’t perfect and all screw up.  But if the guy screws and really tries to make up for it, he cares. 
Also when we have ample time to make a move and don’t, but continue to try to keep some sort of relationship we are one of two things:  A true asshole or scared.  Scared we will take a chance and lose an awesome betch.  But we aren’t going to show were scared because it’s like we’ll lose our man card.  If you show us you really want us and we don’t bite, he is most likely an asshole and never talk to him again.  There’s a much better guy waiting to meet you.  But if he bites, that connection might actually be real and he was just waiting to see real feelings, not a hook up.

Love this post and it’s so true for so many of us, but what’s funny is that the 2 tv couples used as examples both ended up together, which is exactly what half of us pathetically cling to as hope that these douche bags will actually turn out to be ok one day, they just “need time to get there.”

touche

I’m in this type of relationship with several girls… one always answers

Man you guys are assholes. This is a hilarious story and who hasn’t gotten so drunk they peed somewhere they shouldn’t? Go get it gurl.

Okay so to me this post is dead on, and I seriously feel empowered by it I have this pro i’ve been with on an off in a turbulent relationship for 2+years and now hes the one that WGA but the picture they put is of Carrie and Big and we all know how that ended, so which one should go away and which one should stay. you know?

all satire aside, this is legit great advice that everyone should follow.

Although this blog post is SPOT ON and couldn’t have come to me at a better time, the picture examples are really shitty. Carrie and Rachel both end up with their WGAs .... in what are the two greatest love stories of OUR time. Betches all over the world ate that shit up for 10 years.
what kind of message is that sending!

regardless, great post!

I had that kind of relationship with a friend! Gosh, when I was over him, he appeared once again! But I’m finally moving on with my life, and thanks to this post, I think this time I’ll be able to forget him. Goodbye WGA!

Good stuff betches

Atlbetch, i want more of your ideas on how to come out as a TopBetch but get rid of the dude at the same time. I need an actual text message to send cuz I won’t get to actually see him for a bit. Help a fellow betch out!  I want to be his “one that got away”.

Need advice! What about an ex bf who lives in another state… We’ve been dating on again/off again for 3 years and every time I want him out of my life, he reappears and I just can’t help myself… All of my friends think I need to move there and be with OTWGA because when we’re together, it’s great.

for Tara: Move on.. you have become the ideal booty call; out of state booty call.  If he`d not your legit, meet his parents, hang with his fiends, save money together boyfriend, he is nothing!!  if accept this than you are nothing. cause and effect hun…

You all sound like a bunch of clingy bitches. If you’re chasing after a guy when he clearly shows signs of not being interested in you, it’s because you’re 1) Clingy as shit or 2) You spread your legs and put out. See what happens when you think screwing a guy will make him fall in love with you.

Thank you SOO much! This guy that I don’t like wont go away!

This totally describes my relationship with this one guy i would casually hook up with during the past two years at college.  Well, I’m abroad now and have been for the past six months, and guess what, we text now more than EVER.  It’s still the aloof, on and off thing, and I’m pretty sure he’s just making sure I’m still interested when I’m back home in six months, but it’s so hard to cut him out when I’m not even on the same continent, like what’s the hurt in responding?  He won’t get any.

Or just tell him you want to have his babies and he’ll quickly fall the fuck back! 

I NEED HELP!  We met May 3, 2005.  He has worked at 1 job for 3 months since that time.  I have paid for every bite of food, every piece of clothing, all toiletries, utilities, and entertainment intake, rent, he steals from me, he calls me horrible names constantly, he is a slob, I have a restraining order for the last 4 years, he’s been to jail 4 or 5 times because of it, and he is here right now, sleeping like a baby and stinking up my bed.  So this I can assure all you Betches,  I am going to do the Deed and PISS on him Like Nobodies Business Tonight and will Happily Change all the sheets and blankets in the morning with a big fat smile on my face!  I am up a little late writing this and he has so graciously Kicked the Wall 4 or 5 times, so Off To Bed I Go!  If this doesn’t work, Well, I better plead the 5th on what I might do next.  Goodnight Betches

I just told mine I wanted to be friends and he told me to fuck off and called me a bitch! Ha!

every girl will experience this douchebag at least once in her life. wish i had read this article 3 years ago and taken its advice instead of clinging on for 2 years and then realising it myself.