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By The Betches on

How frequently do you hear or speak the words "Ugh, I'm having such bad ADD"? If this term is unfamiliar to you, you're probably not reading this website in the first place. That’s because "having ADD" is an essential part of what makes us betches.

As a betch, your attention is something that others should work for. It's like there's an unofficial bid for the most entertaining medium at all times and most of the time your phone wins. Like, sorry professor, if your lecture weren't so fucking boring I wouldn't feel the need to be arranging tonight's pregame while perusing Nasty Gal.

 

girl texting during sex"Mani Pedi in 20?"

 

Every betch understands that constantly checking Twitter, Facebook, text messages, and email is absolutely necessary to lead our fast paced lifestyles. If betches were behind on social media, we might be out of the loop on major historical events like the release of the iPhone 4s or the fugly haircut that Julie got over winter break.

The only real downside of being omniscient is that we can no longer pay attention to anything for more than 5 minutes. God must have this problem all the time, which is why he invented Adderall.

Growing up we're taught that not having an attention span is something to be ashamed of. We say, that’s bullshit. Our brain is just adapting to our fast-paced lifestyles. ADD isn't a disorder, it’s a step forward. For example, you’re driving and accidentally get off at the wrong exit so you claim “I wasn't paying attention.” Wrong. Your mind is just used to getting off the highway at the mall.

Even better, ADD has allowed us to perfect our skills of multitasking. There’s nothing abnormal about not being able to get through a manicure without texting or tweeting. Like, you’ll be typing with your pinky finger while the lady adds topcoat to your thumb, nbd.

 

girl hyped on adderallOMG I CAN'T WAIT TO STUDY FOR BIO!!!

 

So maybe ADD creates an addiction to your phone, but whatever. It’s better than a heroin habit. In addition to being really popular, it definitely doesn't help that everyone else also has ADD. Like if your friend is texting you, you can't just like, not answer.

Your attention deficit disorder can be good and bad. The best is when you can relax at lunch with your bestie and sit in silence texting. The worst is when your great uncle makes you put your phone away and forces you to listen to him bitch about his tumor. You will say "fine, okay", but then casually find your pointer finger lurking towards the ‘slide to unlock’ button when he’s not looking.

So, if you got through this post without answering a text or checking your Facebook, you might not be a betch. Then again everyone knows the golden rule about attention disorders. ADD only exists when the focus of attention is shitty, meaning not on you.

 

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51 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. Distracted says:

    Just wanted to share that I am at work right now, but I saw that this new post came up on twitter, and I had to stop the lack of work I was already not doing anyway (as if I wasn’t distracted by twitter already) and read this post! amazing, and true <3 this site betches!

    Posted on Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    honestly, enough is enough. not sure cause i’m multitasking but i think just realised that it’s time to fucking stick up for the best friend i’ve ever had, and the reason i am who i am today. i’m talking ADDERALL, BETCHES. the candy land post was magic, and the cutting lines post kills me, even with all the nice girl subtly. but adderall needs to take its rightful place on the bl. Really. it pronz hould have been like post number two

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  3. Notlisening says:

    Having add is amazing. It’s an excuse to not listen when people talk about boring shit and adderalll makes it easy to not eat. Love it.

    Posted on Reply
  4. @Adderall_XR says:

    I just wanted to thank you for summing up my life in one of your posts. @Adderall_XR has always been a huge fan of @betchesluvthis but now I think I have an unhealthy obsession with you guys.  This post is fucking hilarious and so true.  You ladies are the definition of betches and I love your shit. THANK YOU!

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  5. omg says:

    This post is the epitome of betch. And yes, I sent 6 texts while reading this.

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    wtf are you trying to say? you’re not a betch, you’re an idiot.

    Posted on Reply
  7. Anonymous says:

    I’m a huge fan of betcheslovethis, but this is probably the dumbest post I’ve ever read.. Constantly being on your phone is having ADD? Hardly. This just makes whoever is writing this seem like a dumbass. You’re on your phone all the time because we’re all slaves to technology. I’m not saying I’m above it, I sit on my phone during every class checking twitter or facebook too but that’s not because I have ADD. I do it in spite of my ADD. If you had ADD you’d take some sort of medication to make you focus, not sit on your phone. Bottom line, this post makes these betchs seem unintelligent and arrogant. Smarten up.

    Posted on Reply
    • Anon says:

      I gots to agree

      Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    Actually, you’re probably just not a betch. You have a classic case of taking-yourself-way-too-seriously.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Smart Betch says:

    The fact a true betch can text, facebook, gchat, online shop, work AND read this website at the same time shows our incredible ability to multitask which is the antithesis of ADD. Adderall just helps us cram..we don’t NEED it..we just get to use it when we want too, or when we are avoiding eating on wednesdays. Betches are smart and would never admit to having a weakness like ADD. Ever.

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    I loled 5 times at this post. so true. so funny

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    Betches don’t like do do work. Duh. So we love adderall and “having ADD”. Note the quotes, dumbass.

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  12. Anonymous says:

    I’m sitting in my lecture, staring at my phone and reading this. I could not agree more with your post!

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    agreed. They’re not a betch. They’re our drug dealer

    Posted on Reply
  14. Anonymous says:

    wow thats insulting. first off you’re wrong. People with ADD are experts at multitasking. Our brain is constantly bouncing from one stimuli to another. Second, I wouldn’t consider ADD a weakness since Im an Ivy league betch thats been diagnosed since I was 8. Have fun in community college.

    Posted on Reply
  15. betchtastic says:

    you caught me betches. i answered three texts from three BBB’s while reading this post. <3

    Posted on Reply
  16. translator says:

    long way of saying adderall should be number 110. it’s no less important than diet coke, iced coffee, and treee.

    Posted on Reply
  17. Anonymous says:

    Now, how to find a new Adderall dealer when all your suppliers are out? FML

    Posted on Reply
  18. Anonymous says:

    THIS POST IS FUCKING BIBLICAL!

    Posted on Reply
  19. Lizzy says:

    Haha… before I finished reading this post, I had checked my Facebook, email, twitter, and texts multiple times.  I couldn’t even type that last sentence without looking at my phone twice.

    Posted on Reply
  20. Anonymous says:

    Hahahahahah…. “wait what? No i was listening, swearzys, i just have ADD” classic. .... Oh and PS if one more herb comments about these posts not being “politically correct” bc they dont understand satirical humor, i’m gonna scream.

    Posted on Reply
  21. superbetchy says:

    definitely facebook messaged, tweeted, and scrolled a pic album all while reading this. extra funny when I got to the bottom. xoxoxo

    Posted on Reply
  22. Michelle says:

    this picture of this girl makes me not want to click on home. . . can you change it, like now?

    Posted on Reply
  23. Anonymous says:

    You betches are just jealous that you can’t get that magical candy! Adderall is amazing and helps me keep my ADD on check.. oh and my multitasking on hyperdrive

    Posted on Reply
  24. Anonymous says:

    So true girlfriend!

    Posted on Reply
  25. anonymous says:

    “109. Having ADD” is totally rude to people who ACTUALLY have ADD…..its legit diagnosable. I totally get the recent obsession with twitter and BBM and whatever else, but like, that has nothing to do with having Attention Deficit Disorder. If this post was about technology and like everyone being obsessed with texting and the internet and websites like this (which i love btw) it would make a lot more sense. I get this whole website is just meant to be fun and entertaining, but I’m sure I’m not the only one who found it kind of offensive. sorry I’m not sorry

    Posted on Reply
  26. Anonymous says:

    the manicure line is GOLD… so true. cant deal with the shellac under the UV light when i have serious facebook stalking to do.

    Posted on Reply
  27. Anonymous says:

    I for real was diagnosed. Im pretty offended too. Too many fakers out there.

    Posted on Reply
  28. Anonymous says:

    I have been diagnosed with ADD since I was 8, so I’m pretty used to people making ADD jokes. I’m usually pretty tolerant of them, and even find them funny from time to time. But some jokes go to far. In my opinion, this is one of them. Frankly, people’s overuse of the term ADD perpetuates negative stereotypes and misconceptions about those who are actually diagnosed with the disorder. These misconceptions and stereotypes make it more difficult for people with ADD to get the help and (depending on the case) medications that they need. Jokes like this article just make it easier and more acceptable for kids with ADD to be picked on for being different and misunderstood during a time when they’re just trying to fit in. Public mockery of a legitimate disorder makes it more acceptable for people to make fun of it and people diagnosed with it. Think about it like this: how many times have you heard someone call some thing or situation ‘gay’ whether in films, television, or in your personal life? Now ?think about how often you hear on the news about gay teens being bullied? Mocking someone for their differences starts a chain, making other people feel that it is okay to do the same thing, making it all the more difficult for those with noticeable differences to be accepted by their peers and the society around them.
    I get that this is a joke, and when a joke is clever and well thought out, it is often funny. However, this joke wreaks of either ignorance or possibly low self esteem. My bet is that the author of this has never read a book or legitimate medical article on ADD and the people who have it. However, it is entirely possible that the author has ADD and has simply learned over time to make fun of the disorder before people can tease them for having it (a defensive mechanism common among those with noticeable differences). If this is the case, then I hope they learn to break this cycle. However, if the former is the case, I would suggest to the author that they read up on ADD and talk to people who are diagnosed with it, and ask them what difficulties they have faced by going through life with ADD. I’m sick and tired of ADD being a punch-line, and I know that I’m not the only one.

    Posted on Reply
  29. Anonymous says:

    go change your tamp and vent somewhere else…

    Posted on Reply
  30. Anonymous says:

    you forgot to mention that betches with ADD get prior reg for classes… #gettingahead

    Posted on Reply
  31. Anonymous says:

    so true! and so refreshing to read a grammatically correct post.

    Posted on Reply
  32. sami says:

    Read this during ochem lecture while texting my bestie and bbb. Obvi I got my shit straight.

    Posted on Reply
  33. barca bimbo says:

    lykeeee maybe i dont give fuck what everyone else is saying and use ADD as an excuse for not listening /paying attention

    all that matters is who is paying attention to me

    Posted on Reply
  34. audrey says:

    You people must be in high school. You can’t finish a manicure without using your pinky to text? That’s called being impatient, like a 4 year old - not to mention, extremely rude when they’re trying to do a nice job on your nails and you can’t even wait. You can’t read a 5 min article w/o checking your phone? That’s stupidity, not ADD. This future generation is full of lame girls who think the word “betch” is cute and funny. #smh

    Posted on Reply
  35. Anonymous says:

    I agree with the posts above that using “I’m so ADD” and phrases like it is insulting.  I was diagnosed when I was 9.  This is not something that you would want to have if you people knew anything factual about it.  Yes, multitasking is easy, but it’s beyond hard to finish any of the 10+ things you’re doing at the same time.  Also, imagine not being able to tune out any noise.  The floodgate is always open.  The person next to you mouthbreathing, someone snapping their gum, the clock ticking; so fucking distracting to people with REAL ADD. 
    If you did/said something stupid, would you say “Ugh, I’m so Down Syndrome today”.... no, because you might offend someone.  Think about that next time you try to claim you’re “ADD.”

    Posted on Reply
  36. Anonymous says:

    I LOVE my ADD. Adderall sucks though I pop Vyvanse.

    Posted on Reply
  37. tom jackson says:

    Before reading this post I was illiterate about ADD. Now I know what ADD is and how it can be controlled. You have given all the data about this condition. At first I thought that it is a disease. Thanks for sharing this information. visit here

    Posted on Reply
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  40. Colleen says:

    Definitely didn’t get through this post without checking both my phone and facebook at least once. ADD at its finest.

    Posted on Reply
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    Posted on Reply
  42. Victoria says:

    Where can you buy Adderall? I’m not in college anymore so nobody’s walking around handing it out.

    Posted on Reply
  43. antony zackery says:

    Your style of writing a blog, thank goodness I am not alone as I kind of do the same. Looking forward for more of your blogs.

    Posted on Reply
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    I have heard fine obsessions about this topic. Is there a way I can move all my word press content into it? Any kind of assist would be very much respected!

    Posted on Reply
  45. kristen says:

    i have add and although this was somewhat offensive ‘i’m so add’ i didn’t really get bothered by that as this article is (hopefully) satirical and all. what’s annoying is all the people taking adderall who don’t need it. not only are you making the playing field even more slanted, you’re making it harder for people who legitimately have add to get the medication they need. just today i went to refill my prescription and had to go back home because i needed several forms of identification and a paper Rx. They can’t give refills, etc. Anyways, even if this was a joke, whoever wrote this knows nothing about ADD

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  46. Scrolling down here was barely worth it says:

    Third to last paragraph: “Like if your friend is texting you, you can’t just like, not answer.”

    - Completely contradicts the Panera salad reference in the ‘Not Answering Our Phones Post’, or whatever it’s called. I don’t give a fuck who is texting me. No Betch should feel the need to comply to anyone’s demands. Than again, consistency never is our strongest trait. Also- typing the numbers in the image to post this comment is a real big joke.

    Posted on Reply
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