As a social betch with a drinking schedule more jampacked than Octomom's fallopian tubes, we often find ourselves in the same room as annoying bitches. Anyone who pretends to have guy friends is all too aware of the WGG. She's a fraternity staple, the social climber of the cock. No, we’re not talking about tomboys, softball players, or Sam Ronson. We’re talking about the Wannabe Guys' Girl.
The WGG is the girl who will non-casually mention that she "just happens to get along with guys better than girls" ...when no one fucking asked. While nice girls might find that offensive to hear, betches will just be happier they have one less person to invite to their pregames. The irony lies in the fact that she thinks she's using us for people to talk shit with when really we talk shit about her...more often than not, in front of her face.
In more words than one, the WGG is a huge joke.
"I'm sooo into sports.'"Because she's not a betch and therefore can't relate to the caste, she thinks we don't know she spent last night ripping bongs with our boyfriends and ignoring our text messages. Interestingly enough, our boyfriends are simultaneously texting us the nonsensical shit that's coming out of her large mouth.
You can find the WGG at every guys' pregame, party, tailgate, urologist appointment...anywhere she may recruit a new dick for her movement Occupy Orifice. Fraternities are a feeding ground for The WGG and she is, by definition, a frat fly--the first one to arrive, "they'll kill me if I don't show up for the first shot!!" and the last to leave, wandering their chapter room until 4 in the morning just waiting to fuck someone for the story...to share with her female imaginary friends.
You can easily spot and blacklist the WGG because she's the girl who:
Dresses like a skank but always opts for flats: because she’s "chill", when really she just never had friends to tell her this is unacceptable. We wouldn't put it past her to go barefoot because she's like wayyy too down to earth for shoes.
Buys her own drinks at the bar: This is some sort of twisted ‘independence’ thing for her, but we know the truth. Independence is reserved for colonies and Kelly Clarkson.
Pretends to enjoy sports, beer, and/or video games: Any girl who throws out the "I'm busy later, I'm playing ball with the boys" is probably sitting on the sidelines of a basketball game she was barely invited to. She takes empty gesture invitations from guys as a sign of love.
On that note, she will often call the guys she's loosely friends with, "The Boys." They call her, 'that chick who wants to fuck all of us.'
for finally calling out those WWG fuckers.
Posted on — Replythis is complete and utter truth
Posted on — ReplyWriter of this post/every other writer of every other post on this site: OMGizzles am I Chelsea Handler yet!?!?!? <3<3<3
Go back to the kitchen, your aprons are collecting dust.
Posted on — ReplyOne of the best post.. good job betches! This needed to be addressed.. these girls are annoying and a half!
Posted on — ReplyIts so funny because my roommate is the epitome of the WWG. Love this betches… keep it up
Posted on — ReplyWGG*
Posted on — ReplyShe also casually comments on the “bros” website, saying “hahaha I’m not like that but most girls are!” and gets ignored.
Posted on — ReplyAre you like really fat?
Posted on — ReplyYou are a feminist’s worst nightmare. You betches make me ashamed to have a vagina. WGG’s (and they suck) exist because your vapid, boring betch banter is all you can think to do to pass the time until you marry a balding 50-year-old investment banker who you resentfully tolerate until the next one comes along to fiscally support your coke-fueled garden party spectacles of tacky Swarovsky-studded cocktail dresses and plastic, haggard flesh.
Your goal in life is to be a useless aesthetic accessory to some barely-literate serial date rapist, and any woman who does otherwise is a piece of shit? You are a drain on society. I look forward to the inevitable day when your suicidal, valuim-addicted, zumba-toned asses make their way towards your collective fate as mediocre divorcee realtors in some banal suburb of Los Angeles.
You can be fabulous and useful to the world; its called HAVING CLASS. It is twenty fucking twelve; if a girl can’t acceptably wear flats or buy her own fucking drinks, we shouldn’t be allowed to vote either. Or, really, you betches shouldn’t be allowed to vote—though I doubt you do anyway, I mean, its so unfeminine to follow politics. You’re all fucking garish, new-money, state-school-attending, 1950’s-ass betches… get a clue.
Posted on — Replyagreed. i would much rather be the so-called “betch” described in this post than have to be in the same room with the voided soul of this talentless meatball who collided the above sentences into a train-wreck of a post that amounts to all but a literary abashement. barf dot com.
Posted on — ReplyThat depends.
Are you, like, just another dumb gash who accuses one of this site’s criticizers of being a fatty simply because they’re criticizing it?
...Yes I’m fat, OK!?
Mom says real beauty is on the INSIDE.
Posted on — ReplyCool story, bro
Posted on — ReplyYou are obviously either fat, fugly, or dick deprived. You are certainly not intelligent considering this website’s a joke.
Posted on — ReplyYou can go shave your back now.
This post is kinda lame..you sound jealous more than anything else. Granted, those kind of girls can be annoying but they probably hang out with guys because it’s excruciatingly painful to hang out with you.
Posted on — Replyhaha, trueee story.
Posted on — Replylol
Posted on — ReplyThe fact that you spent what was probably a considerable amount of time on your comment, in addition to the fact that you take everything the betches say so seriously proves that you’re just a fugly hater. Get a life.
Posted on — Reply^probs a WGG
Posted on — Replyalso, it’s called humour.
Your mom was wrong.
Posted on — ReplyHarsh Gretch
Posted on — ReplyHarsh Gretch
Posted on — ReplyHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Posted on — Replyright back at ya
Posted on — Replydon’t preach class when you are throwing around F bombs. it’s funny af when these betches rant, but a classy betch doesn’t curse. sweetie, you miss your point when your vocabulary is limited to high school trash.
Posted on — Replydropping insane amounts of f bombs is perfectly acceptable. it’s what’s in between them that makes the difference.
Posted on — Replyripping bongs with the bros is just so fun. especially when they can’t handle their kush and start telling you all der secrets
Posted on — Replygirl needs some D.
Posted on — ReplyAs if. Everyone knows Zumba is for fat girls and feminism is for lesbians.
Posted on — ReplyThis is perfect. Exactly what everyone’s thinking with these bitches
Posted on — Replymore often than not the WGG is so delusional that she doesn’t realize how “the boys” are using her for rides/money/sex…anything
Posted on — ReplyThis article is embarrassing and simply alienates “betches” as girls who can’t socialize with guys like normal human beings. It just shows that you can’t blow trees, pound beers, or just chill. C’mon. Grow. Up. Your image of a WGG is what I would consider to be a cool ass girl who doesn’t need heels to feel sexy.
I realize this column is intended to be funny, and I’ve been following your site for years. I don’t know who’s in charge of writing columns nowadays but THIS BLOG IS GOING DOWN HILL.
Find something real to write about. Also your song selections can use a lot of work. Stop using lame mashups from wannabes and choose tracks from real renown DJs.
Posted on — ReplyWGG’s wear flats because they think they’re comfortable.
Posted on — ReplyBetches avoid flats because they makes us uncomfortable.
Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar.
Posted on — ReplyOh my god I don’t even consider myself a “guy’s girl” but you sound so fucking jealous and self-conscious.
You don’t even realize it, but you’re letting this girl win by displaying how threatened you feel by her!!!
It’s girls like you that are the reason why these types of girls prefer to hang out with guys. So pat yourself on the back, you’re the root of the problem.
Posted on — ReplyTLDR
Posted on — Reply100% agree
Posted on — ReplyA real betch can drink beers with the guys just as long as she’s wearing her high heels and bandage skirt. You obviously don’t eat that day if you’re drinking beer though. DUH
Posted on — ReplyKinda awkward for you because that entire comment just sounds like you TRYING to write like the authors of this blog.. ya ok you’re suuuper witty with your insults GOOD JOB GIRL. now get the fuck off this site and write in your diary.
Posted on — Replyditto. lost my adderall in those chunk of words.
Posted on — Replyi mean there are definitely WGGs who troll for dick/attention under the guise of just “chilling with their buddies”, which is really annoying….. but there are also the girls at every frat house who the brothers openly admit are annoying as fuck and are only there because they somehow wrangled their way into a good sorority. you don’t want to be either one of these types and the betches kinda sound like the latter not gonna lie.
Posted on — ReplySomeone needs to pull out the stick from their ass. I think I’d rather be a WGG than some jealous wannabe who is obviously too uptight to be a bro. Girls who bitch like this are the reason soooo many girls choose to hang with guys in the first place. Ridiculous.
Posted on — Replyyeah can you tell it again?
Posted on — ReplyNow THAT is trying too hard.
Posted on — ReplyOooh nice use of the thesaurus.
Posted on — ReplyWronger than your mom was when she gave birth to you?
Some loads are just better off swallowed.
Tee-hee.
Posted on — Replyew who has enough time on their hands to read this entire post, and then leave a criticizing comment? like whats your goal here…
Posted on — Replyhow is this article lame? someone who would pass up a pregame with the girls to sit on the couch and listen to guys talk about sports and fucking OTHER girls.. is clearly not a betch.
and if being a betch doesnt matter to you, why the fuck are you on this site? confused.
i dont get why people leave criticizing comments as if the betches actually read them and think “omg, oh no we offended a couple of lesbians :( “
Posted on — Replywrong. girls hang out with guys to get fucked and build a fake reputation for being a “chill girl”... she may think shes comes across as cool and chill, but even the guys are confused as to why shes there.
and no one feels threatened by the WGG… we all just make fun of how lame and pathetic they are.
More often than not… the WGG stands alone at the bar because all of “the boys” are trying to wheel the betches. how awkward for her.
Posted on — Replyhave fun being alone when you get downtown.
oh, and if your buddies would rather stand and talk to you than go off and search for some V to put their D in, then your guy friends are obviously ugly losers.
Posted on — ReplyAnyone who doesnt appreciate the hilarity of this post and takes it upon themselves to stand up for the WGG is completely pathetic.
If you dont agree with the values and unwritten rules of being a Betch, I dont understand why you’re on this website.
Why don’t you call up your buddies and play some COD?
Posted on — Replykisses, xo
I realize this site’s posts are half sarcastic and normally I think they’re funny and I don’t comment but this post just sounds like jealousy and insecurity to me. Like yeah there might be girls out there that do this shit but theres a difference between sleeping around with a bunch of guys and being friends with guys who you just like to hang out with and not fuck. Personally I’d rather hang out with guys than listen to a bunch of girls whining about another girl they feel threatened by, so sorry she’s sleeping with all your boyfriends.
Posted on — ReplyDid you go to an arts school? You kinda sound like one of those New College freaks.
Posted on — Replyguys only hang out with girls to get ass. if he wants to be your ‘friend’, its probably because hes a MGB or is using you to hook up with your hot friend. get over yourself, no one is jealous of you and you are not ‘chill’. you’re just TTH.
Posted on — ReplyHaha you probably say that bc that’s the only reason they would hang out with you. If it dresses like a slut, hangs out with other sluts, and proudly drinks in a way most of the world would consider a problem, it will probably only take a few fruity shots and a free blunt to get her down on her knees. Half of the
readers of this site view it as a satire, the rest read it like its their fucking bible. This latter half, including you my dear, have a bright future as a trophy wife and/or bitter used up divorcée.
There is a difference between the annoying deluded girl who overstays their welcome, the girl with low self esteem and a rep as the frat house bicycle, and the girl with a standing invitation to watch the game with them on Sunday.
Posted on — ReplyI get that this is intended to be satire but damn, y’all sound like you’re stuck at a middle school dance where boys/girls stand on opposite sides of the room because no one has social skills yet.
Posted on — ReplyDear Woman who doesn’t shave her armpits,
Posted on — Replythis site is a satire. it is a satire if you are reading this from your rent controlled apartment above a pizza place while eating a bag of cheetos and contemplating your life as a middle aged obese cat lady who will never be loved because guys dont want to bang feminists. for those of us who ACTUALLY understand this website, it is clear that betches love a good exaggeration, this site takes truths and dramatizes them in a way that make us laugh when we’re high.
trophy wives are so 35 years ago, a new aged hottie like myself can juggle charity functions, not blowing my husband and picking up the kids from a private school you most likely cannot afford, all while leaving me enough time to like vote and watch bill maher. just because you are well-educated and intelligent, does not mean you need to act like you’re above being pampered and sassy
you’re TTH, Swarovski doesn’t even make dresses
Too Hot to be a Feminist
actually betches, theres a fine line between WGG and a betch. I watch sports, hang with the guys, and im fucking hot with big tits (and i dont wear fucking flats). I dont fuck with my guy friends because i dont fucking CARE. Its a known fact that guys are actually funny and girls fucking suck at anything to do with having a fun personality. Morons. I am simply just friends with guys and it kills you BITCHES!! HAHAHHA. this post is what you girls come up with because your fucking jealous that were hot and can get along with dudes. we dont need to talk about makeup and shoes, we actually have a fucking personality. fuck off. when your boyfriends are texting me later, and i tell them to fuck off because im fucking my hot older pro who is my BEST FRIEND ill let you know about it.
Posted on — ReplyHi Bitching at Betches,
This post is so spot-on, you’re obviously just a loser who was bitter you didn’t have friends in college if you don’t read this post and instantly think of a name, and chuckle to yourself at how accurate and funny this post is. I totes have love for the WGG in my life, but I also think it’s funny to satirize her qualities, and funny to think that there are WGG’s everywhere you go.
Anyways, “bitch,” let’s address some of your points - 1) I am a feminist and the betches are a saving grace, not worst nightmare. Finally a voice validating girls doing what THEY want to do and being smart, amazing, happy, pretty - and not caring what others think 2) if new money should not be voting than who should be voting? America is home of the “self-made man” (or woman). I don’t really give a shit, but if you’re going to pretend to be so holier-than-thou in the realm of politics, don’t discredit yourself. 3) You, my friend, are the anti-feminist, I hate to break it to you. “The WGG’s suck, the betches suck, wahhh, wahh” - what IS ok in your book? I don’t think it’s the betches who are making you ashamed to have a vagina. I think it’s your own lack of confidence and happiness.
Every group has a WGG. Every group also has a Karen. And that’s you.
Posted on — Replyhah well put. agree
Posted on — ReplyAs someone who was somewhat of a wgg in high school and is now a college grad: you sound like an idiot. The sooner you grow up and realize that trying this hard to be “one of the guys” makes you seem pathetic, creepy, annoying, and unfuckable to all of “the boys” that you are clinging so desperately to, the sooner you’ll be able to make meaningful friendships with other women. Wake up. If not, I hope you have a lot of sisters to spare yourself the embarassment of having no bridesmaids at your wedding.
P.S. maybe the girls don’t hate you because they’re “jealous” of you… maybe it’s because you are trying to fuck their boyfriends. Psycho.
Posted on — ReplyHappy to see someone agrees with me…
Posted on — Replyhah
Posted on — ReplyI’m never alone downtown lol…
As for your comment about guys you sound both petty and bitter. Either you’re dying to have guy friends or you’ve just had bad experiences. If it’s the latter then that really sucks because I think girls can learn a lot from guys (and vice versa). You make it sound as if all guys are incapable of making real friendships. There’s a lot of assholes out there, I’m not claiming to be a “guy’s girl” but this is just rude.
Posted on — Replywhat the fuck
Posted on — Replythis is me
Posted on — ReplyIt seems like you’re all ignoring what the W stands for in WGG. This post isn’t making fun of girls who are legitimately friends with guys (as well as girls) and not annoying about it, it’s making fun of the girls who pretend they’re just “one of the guys” but really just want to fuck them and, in doing so, alienate their female friends. I think we can all think of girls who fit into the former category, as well as the girls who fit into the latter category.
Posted on — Replyyou’re right. guys totally want to hang out and watch football with girls like you. i meant that watching a few games once in a while with the guys is cool, but being a ‘guys girl’ who hangs out at their chapter with an imaginary ‘open invitation’ is just pathetic. and btw, u just look like a moron when you blindly accuse a girl of being a slut with drinking problems (just because shes commenting on this site). stop tth; get some social skills and real friends.
Posted on — ReplyAgreed. I’m not sure what everyone’s problem with this post is. Obviously not every girl who hangs out with guys is a WGG.
Posted on — ReplyOk betches, clearly you stopped letting fucking interns write your shit for you because this is so much more quality than some of your other recent posts. Way to speak the truth betches.
Posted on — Replyokay, betches do vote. obvi, we vote for the candidate with the betchiest wife, because everyone knows how much power the wives have. we want someone with our best interests at heart in power, betches cant do EVERYTHING on our own
Posted on — ReplyYou are all just jealous that this “WGG” hangs out with guys more than you do. And the guys probably like her. Its ok, I like these posts because they make me laugh so hard. I love how the average “betch” thinks like this because jealous naturally runs through their veins.
Posted on — Replyyou can leave your mean girls quotes in 2003 with your coach wristlet and short uggs
Posted on — ReplyHahaha admit it, you all had 1 particular girl in mind when you starting reading this.
Posted on — ReplyAHAHAHAHAH. Perfect!
Posted on — ReplyHA you’re clearly not a feminist- more like a wannabe “betch”. & stop quoting mean girls; you sound dumb. to all you retards reading this site: i hope you realize that this site is a joke, and that by following this site religiously you are also a joke. k, bye
Posted on — ReplySeriously, any girl who believes this or think it’s the truth is a fucking moron.
Posted on — ReplyTo: “You are a feminist’s worst nightmare. You betches make me ashamed to have a vagina. WGG’s (and they suck) exist because your vapid, boring betch banter is all you can think to do to pass the time until you marry a balding 50-year-old investment banker who you resentfully tolerate until the next one comes along to fiscally support your coke-fueled garden party spectacles of tacky Swarovsky-studded cocktail dresses and plastic, haggard flesh.
Your goal in life is to be a useless aesthetic accessory to some barely-literate serial date rapist, and any woman who does otherwise is a piece of shit? You are a drain on society. I look forward to the inevitable day when your suicidal, valuim-addicted, zumba-toned asses make their way towards your collective fate as mediocre divorcee realtors in some banal suburb of Los Angeles.
You can be fabulous and useful to the world; its called HAVING CLASS. It is twenty fucking twelve; if a girl can’t acceptably wear flats or buy her own fucking drinks, we shouldn’t be allowed to vote either. Or, really, you betches shouldn’t be allowed to vote—though I doubt you do anyway, I mean, its so unfeminine to follow politics. You’re all fucking garish, new-money, state-school-attending, 1950’s-ass betches… get a clue.”
New-money means you fucking earned it.
Posted on — ReplyOld-money is daddy’s money. I may not know my politics, but I know my money. Fucking duh.
TLDR. Over it.
Posted on — ReplyI am a “guys girl” but im also a"girls girl”
iv had a lot of comparisons to beyonce,.why?well because im like the betchy ultimate girls’ girl,but i also am that betchy guys girl and i always go for heels,bandage skirts,shorts and pastel colours.
They respect me and talk about what they think of girls.I have inside info that makes me check myself so i dont become known as the loose girl..
And no.i do not make out,flirt and God forbidsleep with them.im a 19 year old virgin and damn proud.
I also dont drink beer,dont comment on their site
that said its like whatever man
Posted on — ReplyOh and by the way…i pay for my own because i CAN!
-advice:hang with a real bro and ul find out just how easy they thought you were/and take control of what you want people to think about you
Posted on — Reply