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By The Betches on

So Girls last night was super Girlsy, take that as you want. We knew Hannah was strange but little did we know we were dealing with the millenial Howard Hughes. Take a Xanny Hanny or go hang out with Emanda and her infinity obsession, it's like an 8 turned sideways.

Shoshanna was like a parody of a parody of herself. Obvs when Shosh was hooking up with the doorman our deep urge to yell YOU'RE A DOORMAN DOORMAN! was ever-present until it hit us that technically this bro is an upgrade. From a bro without a home to a bro who guards them.

While Shosh is out taking a walk on the wild side, Marnie acts the insecure psycho again and gets jealous of Charlie's success. (To be honest, I actually like this post break up app it's kind of brilliant.) Ray condescendingly hears her out, Marnie learned another life lesson, how adorable! He then forces her to confess that her true dream is to sing, and suddenly I feel like I accidentally switched the channel and some lame bohemian Pitch Perfect is on. Get ready to see Marnie pursue her dream at open mics throughout the city at bars with people more homeless than Ray.

Finally, Adam: When you have a drinking problem at seventeen it's called getting ready for college, not an addiction. However AA is casually a great place to talk about yourself, and apparently to get set up on dates with a winner who both has a landline and is unreasonably pretty for you.

Quotes of the Night

Ok I'll bring the cookies, but I don't like cookies very much, so don't get mad at me if I bring the wrong shit.

She's the richest Hindi I know.

"I'm a 33 year old man. I think it's creepy for me to go to a college party." Well said.

It’s genetic which is sort of the ultimate your fault.

Hey asshole, the one thing I told you was to not ash in my mermaid!

I’m sorry if this is insulting but you’re like really good looking for a doorman.

 Last week's recap>>

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13 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. girls says:

    You missed the best quote from the dialogue between Hannah and her dad

    “You’re not anorexic, Hannah. I’ve seen you in a bathing suit”

    Posted on Reply
  2. stop says:

    everything about this site is so good…except for the fact that you feel the need to constantly recap this show.

    Posted on Reply
    • lol says:

      Then ignore the fucking post.

      Posted on Reply
    • ugh says:

      if you don’t like the girls recaps, don’t read them.  i can’t understand why this is such a difficult concept for people.  like suddenly your whining is going to change the way people run their successful website.  get over yourself and get a life.

      Posted on Reply
  3. Your Name says:

    totally forgot to mention hannahs dinner with her parents
    “oh look mom i said i wasnt hungry. maybe that means im ano.” - h
    “now thats not true, I’ve seen you in a bathing suit” - father horvath

    Posted on Reply
  4. truth says:

    you guys completely miss the point of every show sorry the show has depth and you dont.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Your Name says:

    allison williams was pretty last season.  but now she’s too skinny and gross looking

    Posted on Reply
    • WTF says:

      her pigtails! die!

      Posted on Reply
      • no says:

        yes they were really bad…

        Posted on Reply
  6. dying says:

    ” You’re mother said you have very nice teeth, so I’ll be looking at you like a creep.” -Adam

    Posted on Reply
  7. ha says:

    you can only dress like a magician’s assistant for so long

    Posted on Reply
  8. willa says:

    this epi was entertaining but mostly a blur because I was so mentally scarred by hannah’s poor and greasy excuse for a bun in the first scene.

    Posted on Reply
  9. Your Name says:

    You think that being young makes you impervious to addiction? Anyone can become an alcoholic. It takes a lot of courage to admit to having a problem when EVERYONE around you is trying to convince themselves that drinking all the time is totally normal and justified. It’s a good thing Adam sought help before he threw his entire life away.
    Also, you don’t know shit about AA. If you seriously believe that it’s just a “great place to talk about yourself” then you are mistaken. You sound ridiculously ignorant. Don’t write about what you don’t understand.

    Posted on Reply
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