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By The Betches on

It's no surprise that we still love The Hills even though it hasn't been on air for about 3 years. But what better way to honor something or someone you love than by making fun of it? Here's some (but definitely not all) of the most ridiculous shit these people have said on the show. Oh you girls keep me young. 

Heidi: School gets in the way of everything. I’m like ready to finish already.
Lauren: Heidi, you haven’t even started here.


Stephanie Pratt aka The Genius


Klassy Kristin: 


Lauren: I have a very stressful job! I have to guard this VIP area!


Spencer Pratt, Betches and Gentlemen: 


Heidi: And their office is gorgeous. Like inside they have brick walls and these awesome paintings, and I get like a lunch break and stuff.
Lauren: A real lunch break. 


Heidi: I feel like it’s Christmas at home. Somebody always has to cry.
Lauren: Nobody cries at our Christmas.
Jordan: Yea, who cries at your Christmas?
Heidi: I always cry at my Christmases!
Jordan: Why do you cry?
Heidi: Because I never get the present I want.


Audrina's Permanent State: 


Whitney: Guys, I’m glad I’m skipping school for this day.
Heidi: I love ditching. It’s like a thing I love.
Lauren: She loves ditching so much, she permantly ditched school.


Whitney: It’s probably just a momentary tiff.
Lauren: Uh!  I love that word ‘tiff.’  Did you know that my name was going to Tiffany?  Or Crystal. 
Whitney: Crystal?
Lauren: Could you see me as a Tiffany or Crystal? 
Whitney: Tiff…Chris….Chrissy
Lauren: Crystal.
Whitney: Crystalllllll.


On Justin Bobby:


Jen: He's cute…
Lauren: Where?…
Jen: Six o'clock…
Lauren: Six o'clock I don't know where six o'clock is
Jen: Okay fine 11 o'clock


Heidi: I plan to win an Oscar. I'm very ambitious.


The Lo: 


Stephanie Pratt: I need something more in my life than going to AAs and going to bed at 10pm


Brody Never Needed To Say Anything:

Except maybe this...


Heidi: All good things come to an end, but the big thing for us post-'Hills' is our spin-off 'The Heidi and Spencer Show,' which is definitely happening.


Stephanie: OMG she found a guy for me it's one of Scott's friends
Audrina: Do you know anything about him?
Stephanie: Oh yeah I asked the 21 questions
Audrina: He has a car?
Stephanie: You know that's a standard and yes he does! He has a job also
Audrina: Good!!!
Stephanie: He is a professional lacrosse player but I dont know what lacrosse is...
Audrina: But he's an athlete so that's a good thing


And finally, this gem: 

18 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. JLee says:

    OMG that was good

    Posted on Reply
  2. socalbetch says:

    the last video… priceless

    Posted on Reply
  3. omg yes says:

    This is too great. Just what I needed before a final. Lo was really underestimated throughout the whole thing, she was the betchiest in my opinion.

    And special thanks for that Brody section *swoon*

    Posted on Reply
    • Alex says:

      The “You know what you did!” part? or the “He’s a sucky person” one?

      Posted on Reply
  4. A says:

    Lo is definitely betchiest. Could have her own column referring all the way back to LB

    Posted on Reply
  5. Your Name says:

    i cant decide if stephanie actually has a mental delay or not

    Posted on Reply
  6. Ash says:

    How did you forget….. THEY’RE TAKING SHOTS?!!?

    Posted on Reply
  7. Em says:


    Posted on Reply
  8. epic says:

    stephanie and audrina combined probably have paris hilton’s IQ
    this was great. fucking perversely miss it

    Posted on Reply
  9. the best says:

    the greatest quotes from the greatest show

    Posted on Reply
  10. Omg says:

    He was TAKING SHOTS!?!?!?!?!

    Posted on Reply
  11. ha says:


    Posted on Reply
  12. jen says:

    i feel like lauren totally dumbed herself down while hanging out with those retards besides lo she’s such a betch

    Posted on Reply
  13. Isabella says:

    aaaahh just what i needed. perfect post.

    Posted on Reply
  14. Lmao says:

    The last video killed me

    Posted on Reply
  15. ProfeshBetch says:

    im LoLing at work. “a man so great he needed two names”

    Posted on Reply
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