Every betch knows that eyebrows are shadily the part of our face that we devote the most attention and mental energy to. Why? Because your eyebrows are your attitude. They define your face. Like please, tell us Jennifer Connelly isn't just one wax strip away from being only half-annoying?
Is it normal to pay upwards of $100 for someone to remove hair from 2 square inches of your body? Absolutely. Eyebrows are the one part of your face that you can enhance without elective surgery.
You know someone is a betch based on the kemptness of her brows and how much she cares about them. If you go on vacation with your bestie and she doesn't immediately have a panic attack at the realization that she forgot her tweezers, sorry betch, but you've been besties with a poser.
More about betches and brows:
Whenever in the presence of a unibrow a betch will never never fail to point this obscenity out to her besties. Omg check out that uni.
On the other hand, if you notice your bestie hasn't been to Mahima the threader in a while, you'll mention that if you wanted to hang out with Frida you'd go to a museum.
Direct Goodfellas and then maybe you can get away with this look
Then there's the sitch when your friend is looking for a reshape and goes to a new Asian aesthetician and comes back looking like Spock. Luke, I am ...not your friend.
Everyone knows that this is the only scenario when part of you being too thin is disgusting. At 100 lbs you're hot, at 100 lbs with paper thin eyebrows, you're Amy Adams in The Fighter.
Bushy eyebrows are gross, the models who have them in Vogue are in Vogue for a reason. The same way your bushy eyebrows are not in Vogue for a reason.
Finally, It needs to be said that if you ever get a betch to raise an eyebrow, congratulations! You've captivated a betch for an entire second. Good for you, when a betch makes this facial expression it indicates she took that moment and stopped thinking about herself to process what you said. Yay.
So, in the wise words of Seinfeld, eyebrows are everything:
Jerry: She's got great eyebrows; women kill to have her eyebrows. George: Who cares about eyebrows? Jerry: Betches do.
You spelled “esthetician” horribly wrong.
Posted on — ReplyIt’s spelled both ways. Get over yourself.
Posted on — Replyi love how you head betches don’t even give a fuck that the Spock and “Luke, I am..” reference are totes different things (i think everyone knows this, i’ve only seen return of the jedi once and i think everyone fucking did because of that betch princess leia). just clumping the nerds together, saving time. loves it
Posted on — ReplyIt’s spelled both ways. Get over yourself.
Posted on — Replyit’s all the same dumbass!!!! 2 ways to spell it. Even if you are right, it’s not “horribly wrong”... wouldve just miss by one letter. you are so dumb so stfu already.
Posted on — ReplyAesthetician and esthetician can be used interchangeably. You are dumb.
Posted on — Replyspock? luke? lol….think u fucked up that one…:)
Posted on — Replyactually “aesthetician” is a correct spelling. comes from the word “aesthetics” which deals with beauty which you clearly don’t have. Dumb and ugly. Ew.
Posted on — ReplySo true. Keep up the fab posts betches. <3
Posted on — Replygood job this one made me raise my perfectly plucked eyebrows in amusement.
Posted on — Replywho takes the time to correct a star wars/star trek/geek sci fi movie reference??? clearly you’re on the wrong website and need to go back to your princess leah fan club. nice try being witty though.
Posted on — ReplyLOVE THIS
Posted on — ReplyLOVE that you fucked up the spock reference. VERY BETCHY
Posted on — ReplyStarte getting my eyebrows waxes when I was 10. Its so relaxing
Posted on — ReplyLove the post betches
Betches raise eyebrows, turn heads, break necks, & D.G.A.F. Am I wrong?
Posted on — ReplyFACT: betches talking shit immediately after each post is published
Posted on — Reply== STANDARD
FACT: 39583745 additional “betches” saying the same shit already said
== TOTE VEXATION
just got mine done today betches. i must say im lookin a lot like megan fox and that chick from pretty little liars with the great brows.
Posted on — Replyi thought the same thing! so funny i love it. great post betches
Posted on — ReplyLove this. I took it as one of the best compliments ever when my sister said I have perfect eyebrows. It’s sooooooo true.
Posted on — ReplyIf you’re talking about aria, she does not have perfect eyebrows. They’re too big..and the girl clearly isn’t a betch
Posted on — Replyi didn’t take time to correct it, i applauded the betches for not giving a fuck. eww you’re dumb
Posted on — Replycheers to you, betches. Such a valid point re. the models in Vogue. if literally anything else was wrong with them-shorter stature, a few sizes bigger, moderate acne, bad hair or nails-the Brooke Shields brows would just not be Okay. but for Vodianova, they work.
Posted on — ReplyDid you skip your English grammar class for your appointments?
Posted on — ReplyJust moved to NY from LA… Used to go to Anastasia’s (it’s seriously amazzzing - if you live there u should totally go).
Any betches know of good place in NYC? I don’t care how expensive - I’d sell body parts for good brow lady right now.
Posted on — ReplyNo one in their right mind should ever ever ever pay $100 for eyebrows. The key is to *look* like you spent $100 even though you spent close to nothing. For $4, my eyebrows are perfectly threaded, no fill in needed, now that’s real betchy.
Posted on — Replymy eyebrows are way too naturally awesome to have to pay about $100 to look decent… thank youuu
Posted on — Replythis is the best post to date.
Posted on — ReplySonya’s Brow Bar- NYC…. amaazzzeeeee
Posted on — ReplyAny russian woman. Theyre all good in nyc… If i tell u who my russian is i’ll have to kill you.
Posted on — ReplyYou’re from the Midwest, therefore you aren’t a betch, kbye.
Posted on — ReplyAhahahahaha!
Posted on — ReplyDon’t hate on the midwest, IU is filled with betches.
Posted on — Replyare you 13? who watches that show..
Posted on — Replythat is literally hilarious. go milk a cow.
Posted on — ReplyIndiana and IU = armpit of America. If you wanted to go to a cool big 10 school, you would’ve gone to Wisconsin, where you can find a smart bro to fall in love with you and fund your betchy lifestyle forever and never do any work.
Posted on — ReplyObviously you’ve never been to IU. We party like Wisconsin but we do less work, which is even better, duh.
Posted on — ReplyI don’t make a habit of replying to this sort of thing but that comment actually made me laugh out loud. I was thinking the same thing whilst reading them all, but you put it beautifully. Well done.
Posted on — Replyi have a feeling that the betches who write for this site are not that pretty.
Posted on — ReplyHahahahaha I’ve been thinking the same thing.
Posted on — ReplyEwww who the fuck cares? Shouldn’t we all be too busy drinking iced coffee, getting our eyebrows done, and NOT caring about the correct spelling of a word? Come on betches. Care less.
Posted on — Replylike wtf…. who the fuck cares
Posted on — ReplySo happy to see that this was a post since I was disappointed that it wasn’t part of #101 Makeup. It definitely deserves it’s own number. Thanks for secretly listening to my post suggestion betches!
Posted on — ReplyEven Regina George complimented Cady on her eyebrows.
Posted on — Reply*princess leia
Posted on — Replyjust because you’re a betch doesn’t mean you have to be stupid
it’s funny that you say IU parties like WIsconsin- if that’s the case why aren’t you widely regarded as one of the best and biggest party schools year after year? It isn’t up there with most of the Big 10, of the SEC. (it’s obvious you’re from IU- have fun living in hicksville USA!) Betches need a city- and no, your little street with weirdo ethnic shops does not count.
Posted on — Replywow you betches are crazy
Posted on — Replybut what if your sucha betch your eye brows are already perfect? nothing better than natural beauty. betch.
Posted on — Replyworst is the girls who make their eyebrows way too far apart from each other
Posted on — ReplyIf you go to a great dermatologist. They can botox your forehead to give you a Catherine Zeta Jones eyebrow, no joke, it raises your arch so slightly giving you the most feminine flattering eyebrows. Your doc will probably know what you are talking about if you mention that when you go in. And the best part is, it never moves!
Posted on — Replyi took the time to stop and comb my eyebrows while reading this.
Posted on — Replydon’t you just get your eyebrows threaded and calm your tits! this isn’t a spelling contest!
Posted on — ReplyThank you for pointing that out! Betches don’t watch Star Trek, so I understand the slip of the poster; however, betches do watch Star Wars (mainly because it usually consists of [ugly] hot guys, betchy women, and of course- Yoda… who makes us want to tote him around in our purse like a tiny dog). This may make me not a betch and a total dork, but Vader never says “Luke… I am your father.” He just says “No, I am…” which makes the entire reference arbitrary to Star Wars. We all get the point though.
Posted on — ReplyI absolutely adored this post! Bad eyebrows are my BIGGEST peeve by far…like even if you’re not spending $100 to get them done, why the hell would a betch ever even try to leave her house looking like she spent any less than that on her brows.
Bad eyebrows can totally ruin a face…permanently. Bad brows are up there with fugly gangle teeth
Posted on — Replythe best…
Posted on — Replyeww. If you’re looking for a college in the drab little state of Indiana that is not a total disgrace you should probs consider asking dad to pay for a private college ladies.The Smitches at Saint Mary’s get blackout every night while locking in a relationship with a bro across the street at the University of Notre Dame. um duh. Obvi you would be set for life. Plus every weekend you can make fug girls who go to public schools feel bad with the school motto: “If you can’t take a shot like a smick chick can than you shouldn’t have a shot in your motherfucking hand.”
Posted on — ReplyAll betch credibility was lost with the nerd ref. If you live in any of the 5 boroughs you would know there is an Asian salon on every single block, sometimes 2, where you can get your eyebrows impeccably done for $5. $7 for threading.
Posted on — ReplyTotally noticed it. Way before the ‘spelling error’
Posted on — Replyyessss i went to anastasias yesterday! amazingggggg
Posted on — ReplyHoly shizz. where the f have you betches been my whole life!? I’m totes obsessed with everything in this post and I’m even more obsessed with my perfectly groomed brows! It takes a batch to know a batch!
Oh, and I write a super betchy blog too
http://www.luxlyfe.com/
Posted on — ReplyI don’t want to argue with you but I know people who have fixed their eyebrows features through specialist cosmetic surgery and they don’t need the wax anymore to enhance their attitude. I’d go for that myself.
Posted on — ReplyIf you’re clarifying Luke and Spock you’re not a betch. buh bye.
Posted on — Reply