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By The Betches on

Dear Betches,

Recently, I had a major confrontation with one of my friends where she basically told me she doesn't like my boyfriend of two years and thinks he is controlling me. It wasn't so much what she said that matters but the context and tone, as if she thinks she is the boss of me and even blatantly said she will not be my friend until I am no longer with my boyfriend. The thing is we weren't even that close, and for some reason she thinks that those days we did hang out I was "so much different" and that my boyfriend has changed me (which everyone else around says he hasn't, she just didn't know me well enough then). Truth is, I had a lot going on last year and I know for a fact that she has always been somewhat intimidated by me as she kind of is on the heavier side and cheated on her boyfriend of two-weeks, which was her only relationship in the last 4 years.

She has cut all ties with me for good now, even though we decided not to talk to each other for half a year since our fall out last year-and she was the one who initiated text messages asking to meet up after new years. After all the things she said, especially about my boyfriend who has been there for me much more than her, I just can't stop thinking whether she felt intimated by my relationship or whether there was some other reason for her outrageous attitude. Perhaps there is something I am not seeing in all of this that will make her reaction make more sense to me...and note, I told her I don't like being told what to do and if a friend has something to tell me out of concern they can suggest it but NOT force it on me.

Please shed some light on this for me, how much is too much when it comes to telling your "friends" that you have a problem with their relationship? Was she out of line or could I have done something differently here? Thanks betches.

Sincerely,

Confused Former Friend

Dear Confused Former Friend,

Your friend sounds like a huge judgmental loser and you probably did a good thing by cutting her out. The only girls who have huge problems with other people's boyfriends (granted they're not physically/emotionally abusive or cheating on you) are people who are inherently unhappy and who have time to give a shit about other people's love lives. Misery loves company and people who are mis look to find issues with other people's relationships because it makes them feel better about themselves. It sounds like you were never that good friends to begin with so I'm not sure exactly why you care.

If you asked for specifics and all her reasons sound vague and she probably just thought you were better friends before and is pissed that you stopped hanging out with her as much. Again, I don't know her reasons or your relationship so it's hard to say for sure.  Any girl who would stop talking to another girl because of the nature of the girl's relationship with her boyfriend on an issue that has nothing to do with them clearly has some other issues. Like, hello, lesbians! For instance, I don't give a shit about my friends relationships as long as they're dating guys who are nice to both me and them because I have my own life and more than one friend. Your friend is clearly lacking in both categories.

Sincerely,

The Betches

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7 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. the truth says:

    it sounds like she may have some hidden feelings for you…even if she doesn’t think she does. the only time i have heard a “friend” act like this with one of their friends is when they actually have a crush or want something more. the betches may joke about lesbians but i would not be surprised if that was 100% true.

    Posted on Reply
    • Dimes says:

      like, why are you so obsessed with me?

      Posted on Reply
    • mean betch says:

      This is like in 8th grade when I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle, who was totally gorgeous, but then he moved to Indiana…

      Posted on Reply
  2. Denial? says:

    Maybe the confused former friend isn’t telling the whole story (or seeing it clearly at this point).  I am going through a similar circumstance, although I didn’t give my friend an ultimatum, I got almost the reverse…  Her and her bf are constantly on again off again, and during the off times she’s spews the news on how awful he is.  Controlling, angry, sketchy with other girls; the works.. But this week they happen to be on again and I made the mistake of saying I don’t like the DB, and I basically got kicked to curb for him.  She said she had no idea why I would not like him blah blah.  So perhaps the girl that wrote in is as easily blinded as my friend is..

    Posted on Reply
  3. Not so confused Betch says:

    I’m totally getting so major lez vibes from your heavy friend…

    Honestly, just decide whether or not this “friend” of yours if worth it, honestly bitch seems psycho, ever watched “The Roommate”, as long as your other friends like you boyfriend, who cares about her opinion right?

    “For instance, I don’t give a shit about my friends relationships as long as they’re dating guys who are nice to both me and them because I have my own life and more than one friend” -  THANK YOU betches, this is so fucking beyond true!

    Posted on Reply
  4. Denial #2 says:

    Sad, Sad, Sad.  Enforcing an ultimatum is clearly selfish but this post wreaks of insecurity. You better take a good hard look at this relationship betch, because it doesn’t sound like you’re convincing anyone he’s not a DB.

    Posted on Reply
  5. Betch says:

    Maybe there is something else going on in your friends life that is making her insecure about her friendship with you. Is her family okay? Did something traumatic happen that she isn’t sharing? Is she healthy?

    I’ve been through a situation like this and later found out a lot more was going on. I felt like shit.

    Posted on Reply
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