So, this problem is not necessarily about me, but this shit has been stressing me out since Christmas and I have no idea what the fuck to do. While in my hometown over Christmas break, I obvi had to deal with my family in between getting blackout with my high school besties and being showered with awesome fucking gifts. During this obligatory family time, I noticed some seriously unbetchy behavior out of my little sister, a junior in high school. Like, instead of getting money or clothes or a MK watch for Christmas, all she asked for were fucking classic novels and iTunes gift cards (Who actually buys music?!). I'm not kidding. I mean she def has friends, for New Years she went to a party, but apparently all they did was watch weird ass documentaries, and NOT get blackout (or blazed... which would be the only reason I could fathom anyone watching "An Inconvenient Truth"). Also, she still wears her written-on converse from eighth grade.
I feel obliged to save my little sister even though I normally wouldn't give a fuck her reputation reflects on me. She has the typical betch qualities (hot, well-known family, chill as fuck) but she's just doing it so wrong. How can I put my sister back on the right track before she goes to college and becomes a GDI?!
Dear Big(tch) Sister,
While it can be disappointing to not have a sixteen year-old sister who enjoys blacking out and dressing like a slut in quite the same way you did when you were a mere betch in training, it's important to remember that not everyone can be a betch. It's something inside you. Sure your sister may prefer to more boring nicegirl things in life like being sober and wearing converse but it's important to remember is that it doesn't make her a bad person. It just makes her a boring one. Which is fine. If your sister were as big of a betch as it sounds like you are you'd probably have to fight over shit like money and sharing clothes. Now you can allow her to do all the nicegirl betch chores like buying your parents birthday presents and like, accomplishing real things in life while you live life on the sidelines getting fucked up and not giving a shit about anyone else besides yourself all the time.
Sure this may be a poor reflection on your and your family's betchiness but at the end of the day no one really gives a shit if your sister is as shallow and materialistic as the rest of your family or like, something as disgusting as a good person.
Got a problem? Email the Head Betches here and if your question doesn't fucking suck we might even answer it.