This week’s Betch of the Week is one of our favorite foreign betches from a country that's not Britain. She is yet another example of how betches can be funny and hot at the same time. She is Modern Family’s Sofia Vergara.
Let’s talk about her role on Modern Family. Now initially we thought, sure Gloria is betchy, but is the real-life Sofia Vergara just another immigrant with a funny accent? Turns out, Sofia IS Gloria and that’s because like a true betch, she had the role written for her, not the other way around. Like her character, Sofia is the ultimate #37 betchy mom and has a 19-year-old son who’s only marginally hotter than Manny.
Just like any top betch, Sofia got herself the perfect job where she never has to do work. All she does is say random shit that sounds like other random shit in her Colombian accent. Like, if Al Bundy was going around saying ‘baby jesus’ you would never laugh or think he meant to say baby cheeses. Throw in an accent and American ignorance and you’ve made the hysterical character named Sofia Gloria. 
Oh and speaking of not working, here's how Sofia started her career job of doing nothing: Betch was casually tanning on the white beaches of Colombia, was randomly discovered, and the next day found herself modeling. Next thing she knows she’s doing Pepsi commercials with David Beckham, on the set of a major abc show, and so intensely not giving a shit that she doesn’t even know her bony anal co-star Julie Bowen’s real name.
She is a master at manipulating her Pro husband on the show and we’re sure she was equally good at manipulating the real life stars she dated, like Tom Cruise. (Huh? Did she? Yeah she did a while ago!)
In other betchy news, she’s the new face for CoverGirl. That’s pretty sick considering the faces of these companies are like Vanessa Hudgens who sells a Neutrogena vibrator sonic power cleanser. Sofia is 40, looks like shes 25, and is like hot, no homo.
So betches, Sofia proves that you can be a betch even if no one understands what the fuck you’re saying. As long as you have the right attitude and a hot body, you too can rule television, no matter where you’re from.
girl crush xoxo
Posted on — Replyshe’s SO BETCHY. love her
Posted on — Replyshe has a clothing line for k-mart…not betchy.
Posted on — ReplyWhere’s your clothing line at?
Posted on — Replyi don’t make clothes, i buy them. nice try hunny. and last time i checked it’s not betchy to live in like a third-world country so…
Posted on — Replycolombian betch…your words are irrelevant. everyone knows a real betch would never go anywhere near a fucking k-mart. but besides that i love sofia she is totes gorge!
Posted on — Replyagreed. k-mart? really?
Posted on — Replyhahahaaaa
Posted on — ReplyYou do realize that not everyone is born with a silver spoon in their mouths right? And that not everyone can afford to have clothes from top designers?
Educate yourself you stupid bitch.
Posted on — ReplyOh yeah, betches definitely can’t live in 3rd world countries and have families that absolutely run shit… who are you? Oligarchical betches are totes the best.
Posted on — Reply@KittyCat why are you even on this site? if you knew anything you would know that being poor automatically makes you a) not a betch AND b) a hater. so like…gtfo and go finish checking out at the big K.
Posted on — Replyum Marina who are you kidding? South America is the United States’ dirty cousin. AMERICAN BETCHES RUN SHIT.
Posted on — ReplyBut fat poor people need clothes too. I see it as more a humanitarian thing, which she is also making money off of. And that is totally betchy.
Posted on — ReplyJenna you sound so fucking stupid. First of all, you don’t know she was poor in Columbia—not everybody in that country lives in a shit hole.
Second of all and even more importantly, she became FAMOUS because she is hot as fuck and was “discovered” while tanning on the beach. How betchy is that? Betchier than you are/will ever be. I mean I get that you’re jealous because nobody would ever just come up to you while tanning and next thing you know you’re a celeb and shit, but at least TRY not to make it obvious..
I do agree about the K-Mart thing though..totally wish she hadn’t done that but whatever
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Posted on — ReplyI’m new to blogging and discover this article definitely useful. numerous for the pictures.I never thought things like that.Thanks with the information and inspiration!
wow
Posted on — Replyjust because you’re jealous doesn’t mean everyone else is. i never said anything bad about sofia, i just said america > colombia. which is totes true. i personally love sofia and think she is a hot betch. so hop off my d. and yes let’s all agree that the k-mart thing is gross but whatevs. the kardashians have a line at sears. honestly celebs: stop trying to make blue-collar stores happen, it’s not going to happen! xo
Posted on — Replyshe has a clothes line at Kmart, that’s not betchy… we don’t do the blue light special.
Posted on — Replystfu stupid bitches. sure some people are poor. get the fuck over it. its reality and being a nasty bitch about poor people is so unbetchy. stfu. OKAY
Posted on — Replyany country that produces top-grade blow is a-ok in my books
Posted on — Replytouche, and she’s just making money off of people running the line for her. betch.
Posted on — Replycolombia*
Posted on — ReplyBetches dont shop at at the big k because clearly, we shop at like one of the stores Sofia (one of the betchiest betch out there) shops at. But less fourtunate people need clothes too like Elle said so why not try to get some cute, cheap clothes out there for those people and make a profit. Thats what I call fucking winning.
Posted on — ReplyKmart is definitely not betchy. And to the “stfu” comment, you stfu, if people are poor, then I don’t know about it because poor people ceased to exist for me. Surprised you even have a computer to spoil this *fabulous* site with your idiotic rant.
Any-fucking-who, the only viable explanation is that Sofia’s decision to design for Kmart (gag), stems from her trying to provide clothing for the relatives she left behind. Most immigrants from Colombia either work for rich American families, such as ours, as maids, or go to Federal prison. Both shop at Kmart. Not too big on the humanitarianism Sofia, or you doing a commercial for FUCKING DIET PEPSI, but I’ll forgive you for otherwise being such a betch.
Posted on — Replyuhm..I’m Colombian and my dad works for the Colombian embassy and is a diplomat…I live in Manhattan and live a great fucking life. So please educate yourself….ou ignorant fuck.
Posted on — ReplyHAHAHAHAHA it’s a third-world country yo haven’t been and it turns out its pretty amazing, go have some fun there and you’ll see what a real party is.
Posted on — Replyladies, this is possibly one of the most disgusting posts i’ve ever read, as a dandy gay, i’m all for betches and betchiness, but you people don’t have souls.
Posted on — Replyyou all are fucking retarded… u do know that they r making huge dollas off those lines… again… where is your line sold?
Posted on — Reply