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By The Betches on

We thought it was only appropriate that in addition to Meryl's big win last night, she could add another honor to her list. Sorry we don't have any naked gold dolls laying around. Where does she even have room for all this trophy storage? Can someone just fucking frame this and mail it to her?

But she's so old! She needs to put on 3 pairs of glasses and have cataract surgery to even read this Georgia size 12 font! This may be true, but so does your mom. Except your mom hasn't won like 9182 million awards and made out with Sandy Bullock.

Though our Meryl obsession runs deep, here are the top reasons why we love her:

10. We use her old films as evidence to show people we are 'cultured and/or worldly'... no one argues with a Streep film, not even with Prime.

9. She was hotter than Goldie Hawn in Death Becomes Her.. even after dying.

8. She bitched out Anne Hathaway in DWP.

meryl lindzloRemember the Bosom Buddies? We do.

 

7. We had a shady one-week obsession with Mamma Mia in college. No we didn't have a drinking game to Take a Chance on Me.

6. We have a non-shady, completely casual obsession with It's Complicated that's lasted longer than one week but shorter than eternity. It's complicated.

5. She's been in a lot of holocaust films. Do you know how #5 skinny you have to be for that?

4. No we don't care that Meryl is a nice girl name that's on par with Mildred or like Eunice, but she was casually homecoming queen in high school, so she's obviously used to winning popularity contests.

3. Instead of acting, she originally applied to law school but accidentally slept in on the morning of her interview...which she took as a sign she was destined for other things, ie. too lazy to go to law school.

2. She left the first Oscar she ever won for Kramer vs. Kramer on the back of a toilet. Was too busy blackout vomming.

1. Despite the fact that she's like, old and anti-rhinoplasty, we're fucking in love with her. That's all.

 

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18 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. selina says:

    I HEART THIS BETCH

    Posted on Reply
  2. Anonymous says:

    omg. one of the best.

    Posted on Reply
  3. Anonymous says:

    Love. She’s my grandmas doppelgänger

    Posted on Reply
  4. lucy says:

    head betch of the universe

    Posted on Reply
  5. Anonymous says:

    She said “whatever…” in her acceptance speech. Perfection.

    Posted on Reply
  6. Anonymous says:

    Oh yea i totally had that obsession with mamma mia for a week in college

    Posted on Reply
  7. Sarah Grif says:

    I adore Meryl and her fake Gay BFF, Colin Firth.

    Posted on Reply
  8. Anonymous says:

    hands down the best part of the night

    Posted on Reply
  9. Anonymous says:

    when is angelina jolie going to be botw? she stole the show from everyone last night.

    Posted on Reply
  10. Anonymous says:

    Agreed. Supposedly she chose her dress out of a bag. Like that’s when you know you’re hot

    Posted on Reply
  11. Anonymous says:

    someones husband is unbetchy…

    Posted on Reply
  12. Anonymous says:

    read the article on love triangles. it’s basically dedicated to her. such a power betch

    Posted on Reply
  13. Anonymous says:

    Making out with your own brother in not betchy.

    Posted on Reply
  14. Lauren Goldenberg says:

    Meryl Streep should not only be the betch of the week, she should be the betch of the year. Let’s be honest, anyone who can play Miranda Priestly aka Anna Wintour and get nominated for an oscar MUST be the ultimate betch. I agree the use of her glasses to “read” was screaming, “ew I’m old”, but atleast they were designer and complimented her look.

    Tulane University

    Posted on Reply
  15. CC says:

    Her nephew goes to college with me….. Fucked him last week.

    Posted on Reply
  16. Becky says:

    betch of the week? she’s british, pretty much always rocking a title in her movies, (including a knighthood in real life), and the biggest bitch on Downton Abbey

    Posted on Reply
  17. dani betch says:

    Adore Meryl.  I did something so unbetchy and sat down and read! (Granted, it was Vogue.)  And she was quoted as saying she “can’t think and smile at the same time”.  Because thinking’s hard.  Perfect botw choice!

    Posted on Reply
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