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By The Betches on

Mascara. Your Chanel bag. Maybe your iPhone. Sunglasses. Jay Z.

What do all these things have in common? They're all black, and they're all betchy. Fucking duh.

Betches love black for reasons different from those of your average person or like, a grieving widow. We don’t care that it's “slimming” because as betches who look ano in horizontal stripes, this is obvi not a concern. Betches love black because, as Anna Wintour or a Kamakura ninja will tell you, it is eternally trendy. Sure some losers might argue that black is unimaginative. They're called losers for a reason.

Black sends a fuck off vibe more extreme than Kate Moss and Naomi Campbell (off her meds). It's intimidating, never goes out of style, and it even comprises our favorite state of existence, blackout. I mean, can you imagine buying a pair of non-aviator sunglasses in like, perriwinkle? Good luck getting a nicegirl to do your homework when you walk into the library wearing that lame shit.

So betches, if you know what the fuck you’re doing with your life, paint your nails black and take off whatever oxblood cardigan you’re currently sporting and swap it out for a betchy all-black-everything ensemble. Be classy. Be chic. It’s no coincidence that the betchiest shit takes place at night.

Oh, and we changed our book cover. As you can see, it is #190 black.

<< #191 Whole Foods

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11 Comments TALK SHIT!
  1. black_betch says:

    yes, yes, and yes
    “It’s intimidating, never goes out of style, and it even comprises our favorite state of existence, blackout.” #dead
    nice work betches

    Posted on Reply
    • BrigitteBardOHHHH says:

      This post was actually really good!  Like back on par with the classics like iced coffee because it talks about something classic and tasteful.  But it def could have been longer!  There should have been shout outs to betch cities like Paris, New York, and Florence where everyone looks sleek in head to toe black 24/7

      Posted on Reply
  2. Your Name says:

    as any real betch would know - anna wintour actually prefers color over black. fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
  3. lex says:

    black on black on black betchesss

    Posted on Reply
  4. Duh says:

    Classy is a word that tacky people use. Shame on you betches

    Posted on Reply
    • UH says:

      If you don’t sarcastically refer to your friends as “super classy” after downing vod from the bottle, it’s probably because you don’t have any.

      Posted on Reply
    • duhh says:

      agreed.

      or cholas.

      Posted on Reply
  5. ogbetch says:

    this is og betch—everyone who doesnt think so wasnt reading the site since day uno.

    Posted on Reply
  6. beettcchh says:

    I miss the old writers

    Posted on Reply
  7. Queenbetch says:

    love this site just found it but you betches need some fucking direction.
    Chanel Riding Boots in black caviar to match your Chanel Wallet on a Chain (WOC) also in caviar black (wait list six months unless you know someone) Fucking duh.

    Posted on Reply
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